


I Love The Way You Lie

by Snowflake0913



Category: Norman Reedus - Fandom, Sean Patrick Flanery - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Death, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gangbang, Love/Hate, Multi, Rough Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 22:04:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 194,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7658461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowflake0913/pseuds/Snowflake0913
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From the first time he laid his eyes on her, he could never look away. He was always hers but how hard he fought, it would take him a decade to make her his. He had always said that damaged people seemed to gravitate towards damanged people and Jessie was one of the most fucked up girls to ever cross his path. He just happened to fall in love with her and he never could leave her after that, even though how many times he tried or how many times she kicked him out, they always got back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cruise

**Author's Note:**

> Bare with me folks! English isn't my first language so there will proboably be some mistakes done. Hope you can see past this ;) and all kinds of comments are welcome.

She hated him at the same time as she loved him. They had shared their twisted love/hate relationship for each other for 10 years. She had tried to stay away from him so many times she had stopped counting. He had tired as well but they were like the opposite sides of a magnet, always drawn back to each other. She had even had boyfriends and he had girlfriends but their need for each other had never wavered. They would always get caught sooner or later but since neither of them had found _the one_ it never really bothered them and they would try again to figure out how to be in a real relationship with each other. It never worked out for more than a month at the time and they ended up breaking up or whatever they did when they spent time apart. Then that wouldn’t last more than a month and they would be back together again.

She loved their reunions. Sometimes she thought they only broke up so that they would be able to have the craziest, sexiest and hottest reunions in the history of mankind. It had gotten harder to stay away from him the past couple of years for her though. Mostly because he was everywhere she looked. The Walking Dead was the biggest show on television and her lover’s face showed up when she least expected it or needed it. They had spent the week before Christmas together in his New York apartment, barley making it outside at all for 7 days. They had done what they did best; fuck. That time it had been her that walked away. It had been something completely stupid that got her worked up but once she started yelling and he started yelling right back there was no stopping it. Either it ended with rough and sometimes bloody sex or they walked away from each other. She had grabbed her things and left and not seen him since.

But there she was, January 15th 2016, ready to board the Walker Stalker Cruise from Miami. It had been a heat in the moment decision and she was still not sure it was the right one, but she needed him. Even though she hated that he had this effect on her, he was essential to her survival. She had always thought their relationship or what the hell they had, was like the Rhianna song _Love the way you lie._ He always lied to her, saying he would never come back. But he always did. So did she. She found herself running through the song in her head as she opened the door to her mini suite and stepped inside. She dropped her weekend bag on the bed and headed straight out on the balcony after collecting a bottle of water. She took out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and searched for his number in the phonebook. _Norm._ Reading those four letters made her lower abdomen contract and her pulse quickened. She hadn’t given up first for a very long time. It was usually Norman that gave up and texted or called her.

_Deck 8, suite 8007._

She texted him a picture of her naked feet and lower legs resting on the chair in front of her. Not even a minute past and the phone buzzed with a replay. She ended up with a huge grin on her face, shaking her head at his addiction to his phone.

_Why the hell would I bitch? U literally scared me for life!_

_Fine. Do whatever u wanna do. I will find someone else to fuck tonight._

She knew she wasn’t playing fare when she played the jealousy card. He hated knowing she spent the night with someone else then him. Unless it was someone he had actually chosen for her there is. She finished her water bottle before heading back inside to change her cloths. When she stood in nothing but her underwear in front of the large mirror in the bathroom, she stopped for a second to take a closer look at herself. Jessie Hamilton had just turned 35 on January 10th and was 5´4 tall and 140 pounds with the curves at just the right places. She really didn’t need the push up bra to her C cup sizes boobs, but she felt like showing them off tonight and she knew Norman loved them. She pulled her blond, long hair into a pony tail. It ran all the way down to the end of her shoulder blades and it was yet another thing about her body that she knew he loved. She could feel her panties getting soaked just imagine how he would grab her hard by the hair and hold on tight while taking her from behind.

Her large, green eyes widened when she heard a knock on the door. Just to make sure, she peeked through the tiny hole in the door. He was standing outside in his sunglasses and wearing all black cloths. It looked like he was bouncing on his feet and it made her open the door with a smile. He had opened his mouth to speak but when his gaze landed upon her half naked appearance, he seemed to forgot what he wanted to say. The door closed behind him when he took a step inside the cabin. When she reached up to take his glasses off, always having had an extreme weakness for his eyes, he wouldn’t let her though. Quickly he grabbed her wrist and forced her arm behind her back. He spun her around, still with a tight grip around her wrist and used his other hand to grab her neck before forcing her down on the bed. Her breathing picked up when she heard him unzip his jeans behind her. Somehow he managed to undress her bra and panties onehanded, while holding her down. He kicked her legs apart and the view in front of him almost made him cum at the spot.

He heard her panting and he knew what she wanted him to do. He grabbed a fist full of her long hair and tugged hard, making her cry out and arch her back. He watched in deep satisfaction as the fists resting over her head, clenched on the sheets underneath her. He knew she loved the pain. He knew everything about her, every inch. He knew she would try to grind her naked ass on him any second and just as her hips moved, he was ready and pushed hard on the small of her back, stopping her from getting the friction she so desperately needed. She had tortured him enough throughout the years they had known each other and he took every opportunity he got to do the same to her.

She had always had the upper hand but the second he had read her text he knew she would do whatever he wanted. He ran one hand over her perfect ass, still making sure she couldn’t move. His hand left a visible red mark when he slapped her and she cried out once again. Even though it stung his own hand he delivered another slap hard enough for her to curse and try to wiggle out of his tight grip. Not a word had been spoken between them yet and he was detriment not to speak to her. He really just needed to fuck the living hell out of her. Then maybe after they could talk.

He allowed his fingers to gently caress the red marks he had left, before traveling down to her hot and soaking center. She was always so wet for him, making him let out a low moan when two fingers slipped inside her with ease. She pushed back at once, trying to get him deeper. But he was not going to give up that easily. He leaned over her, pinning her down with his upper body, successfully stopping her hips from moving. Slowly he began to work his long fingers out and in, rubbing her clit between his fingers now and then. She had been his lover for 10 years and he knew how she wanted to be touched and he knew he was doing it just right, because she was so close to the edge but the second before he knew she was about to cum, he abruptly stopped and stepped back from her. He watched as she turned around and glared at him and opened her mouth to say something, but he wouldn’t let her.

He grabbed her hard by the neck and forced her off of the bed and down on her knees in front of him. She watched him as he removed his glasses and shirt and tossed it to the floor. Once it was done he looked back down at her and nodded to her to go on. She loved blowing him probably just as much as he loved going down on her and she had stripped his jeans and underwear in no time. He hissed through his teeth when she grabbed his painfully hard erection in both hands and licked the tip of his dick. He had no patience for her teasing though and grabbed her hair in both hands and shoved himself inside her waiting mouth. She braced herself with her hands on his hips when he hit the back of her throat. He thrust himself as deep as he possible could a few times and the evil little devil on one shoulder was smiling when he saw how hard she struggled not to choke. The angle on the other side however won the battle and he realized his grip on her hair and allowed her to continue in her own pace.

She had to take his big cock out off her mouth for a few seconds once he allowed her to. She knew he was punishing her and that she had probably deserved it but she had to lean back and take a few deep breaths, but her hands never left. She worked his impressive length with both hands and she was rewarded with a loud growl and she watched as he threw his head back and closed his eyes as she leaned back in and licked the precum that escaped him. She sucked gently, knowing he was already so close to the edge. They were not done yet and she knew he was trying really hard not to shoot his load down her throat. She was so wrapped up in pleasing him that it caught her by surprise when he suddenly leaned down and grabbed her by the arm.

He took a step back, making his aching cock leave her mouth at the same time as he pulled her to her feet. She could feel herself almost pouting and he actually chuckled. For a whole 5 seconds they just looked at each other and she permitted herself to drown in his beautiful eyes for those 5 seconds. She had a hard time anticipate his next move and she hated it. Most of the times he was an open book for her to read but as they kept staring at each other she knew it could go either way. She wasn’t sure he was done punishing her and if he weren’t, he would probably shove her up against a wall and slam inside her, tearing her inside apart the way she knew they both loved. Or he would kiss her and they would end up fucking on the bed. When he finally moved it was to grab her by the back of neck and attack her mouth with his. Her hands ended up on the side of his body and she ran her fingernails from his hips, all the way up his body the way she knew would drive him insane. She heard him moan while the kissing got deeper and more forceful. They moved at the same time towards the bed. He pushed her down and climbed after her, making her almost combust when she watched him lean down on his hands and knees over her. He moved in between her legs and leaned back on his heels to watch her. He couldn’t help but moan out loud when he saw how wet her pussy was. He had to restrain himself not to just dive down between her legs and eat her out. Instead he grabbed his painfully hard cock and stroke himself a few times while watching her. He knew it was driving her insane, but she would never admit it. She was never one to give in, never allowing him to win. She had proved this a few times and it almost cost him to laugh out loud when he remembered a situation just like the one they were in right now. He had been teasing her to the point where she had simply got up from the bed and left instead of begging him to just fuck her.

She was not having any of that tonight though. When he placed the tip of his dick at her entrance, she moved her hips so fast and hard it made both of them gasp when she forced him inside of her. He gave up with a groan and placed his entire bodyweight over her before starting to move. She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to his muscular back with both arms. They both knew it wouldn’t be long. It would be hard and fast. They moved in perfect synchronization, making him go so deep he touched her g-spot every time. Her orgasm kept on building and building for every time his cock entered her. He slowed down after a while, but focused on the force instead. The second he slammed inside her, she exploded around him, costing him to moan when he felt her juice’s escape her. While her orgasm still went through her body, he moved quickly, slipping out of her for the shortest time possible, flipping her over and pulling her up in her knees. He slammed back inside her and grabbed her by the hair, giving him better leverage to continue his hard thrusting. It felt like he tore her apart every time he slammed inside her. She knew he would leave her sore and maybe even bruised but the pleasure went beyond the pain. When she felt him reach one hand down between her legs and pinch her clit between two fingers and gently rub her, she let out a roar of pleasure and exploded once more to his touch. Feeling her insides climbed down around his cock, made him finally lose the battle as well. He emptied his load inside her with a final thrust and her pulsing orgasm milked every last drop he had to give. He collapsed on top of her when either of them were able to carry themselves up anymore. He grabbed hold of her hands resting above her head and sneaked in a kiss to the side of her neck. They stayed completely still for so long he might even have dozed off for a few minutes. She groaned when he rolled off of her.

“Hi, Jessie.”

He tilted his head to the side to look at her. She placed her arms under the pillow and looked back at him.

“Hi, Norman.”

“How’ve you been?”

“Good. Pretty good. What about you?”

“Fine, just fine.”

He put one hand behind his head and stared up at the celling. He loved their moments like this. They could stay awake beside each other for hours, sometimes talking, sometimes not. It didn’t really matter. He had missed her to the point of going crazy this time, but he had promised himself he would stop giving in. He had of course acted like he hadn’t cared what she did or who she did, but the second he had read her text, he had dropped everything and rushed to her suite. He had had to stop himself not to just kick in the door. He hated her for staying away from him and he needed to punish her for it. He knew he had hurt her but he also knew she had loved every second of it.

“Why you here, Jessie?”

“I can’t fucking escape you anymore, Norm. New York City isn’t big enough for the both of us.”

“I haven’t see you around.”

“I left… I went straight to the U.K. after I left you.”

“Why the hell did you leave?”

“Come on, Norman, fuck that. It doesn’t matter why the hell I left. Do you know why you left all those times?”

“Jessie, you’ve been the one walking away every time for the past 5 years.”

“Screw you, that’s not true and you know that!”

He sighed but decided not to argue with her. He knew it was true although he didn’t want it to be. She had left him far more than he had left her but the times he had been the one leaving, those where the times they had stayed away from each other for the longest period of time. She had been too fucking pride to give up those times, never admitting she had done something wrong. And he had been too damn stubborn and frankly too busy working. Three months were the longest they had gone without seeing each other. He had caught her fucking this random guy in his Georgia home just to piss him off and he had snapped and thrown her out. She hadn’t even looked back, tried to explain or apologized.

He had known from the first time they met that she was messed up, but he hadn’t been able to stay away from her although every fiber in him had told him it would probably be a lot smarter not to get involved with her. That had been 10 years ago, the summer of 2006 they had met through mutual friends for the first time. She had initiated the start of their fucked up relationship and he still couldn’t help but getting hard every time he remembered their first month together. He had never had so much sex in his entire life. It had been completely insane but one day she had just left, leaving him for 7 whole weeks. When she suddenly came knocking on his front door again he had no plans to allow her inside his home or his life again but here they were, back together again for the millionth time.

She had closed her eyes when he turned to look at her again. He could tell she wasn’t really sleeping but heading towards a dream state. He got up and walked over to grab a bottle of water. He stopped at the foot of the bed and watched her naked body spread out over it. It was then he noticed the new tattoo around her left ankle; the Boondock Saints rosary with the word _AEQUITAS_ written in the cross. An unexpected warmth spread through his entire body and for the first time since he stepped inside her cabin, he smiled to himself. She had 4 other tattoos on her body and although he couldn’t see all of them, he knew exactly where they were and what it was and why. She had the quote _what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger_ on her right wrist, covering up the deep, fine scar after a suicide attempt in 2003. He could still start crying sometimes when he watched the footprint tattoo on her lower back. He knew the angel wings surrounding the tinny feet had been added on later. Her hair was covering up the tattoo he loved the most; an absolutely beautiful and colorful tiger at the back of her neck. The forth tattoo was located across her left collarbone and it was a flying phoenix. Jessie knew why he was staring at her. She could feel his gaze traveling over her body and she didn’t even need to look at him to know how he had reacted to her knew tattoo. She heard him finishing the bottle of water he had collected and tossed it to the floor before taking a step closer to the bed.

“Turn around.”

The demanding tone in his voice made her inside clench but she wasn’t sure how to play this though. She loved teasing him but she needed him so much.

“Why?”

She challenged without moving a muscle.

“Do as your told for once in your life, Jessie!”

“Why don’t you make me.”

She heard him curse quietly before grabbing hold of both her ankles and flipped her over with such a force she actually gasped. She knew what he was going to do to her even before she locked eyes with him. She cursed and grabbed the sheets under her tightly in both fists as he placed her legs on his shoulder before dropping to his knees. The moment his tongue made contact with her insides, she jerked her hips to meet him. One strong hand forced her hips back down to the bed though and she gave up and decided to let him torture her. He lifted her hips and brought her closer to the edge of the bed, giving him easier access to her wet and hot center. He nibbled gently on her swollen clit. She arced her back off of the bed and grabbed him by the hair.

“Holly shit, Norman! Don’t stop. Please, baby…!”

As so many times before he gave in to her needs. To his own needs too for that matter. He couldn’t describe it any other way then her bodily fluids got him high. His tongue dipped in and out of her soaked hole and he loved the taste of her too much to be able to stop. He didn’t even give her a second to recover once her orgasm hit, making her scream his name. He simply replaced his tongue with his fingers and moved on to suck and bite on her clit. She was squirming and moaning when he lifted his head to look at her. Seeing her lose control so completely made his dick harden once again. Her grip in his hair hadn’t loosen though and she forced him back down to her longing pussy with a hard tug. He sucked her clit in between his teeth once more and moved his coated fingers to her ass and pushed two of them inside her tight hole. He kept stretching her with his finger while pleasing her most sensitive spot. He managed to make her cum twice in a row, soaking his hand with her sweet juices. She looked completely dazed when he could feel her loosen her grip on his hair and he was finally able to look up at her. His own moan didn’t seem to registrant with her. Not until he rose from the floor and in the same second pushed himself inside her tight ass, did her eyes flew open and she stared at him. Only for a second though, before she threw her head back and pushed her hips forward to meet him. When his entire length was inside her, he stopped to allow her to adjust to his size.

“Tell me what you want, Jessie.”

He managed to force the words out through his panting. He really just wanted to start moving, fucking the living hell out of her, but he wanted her to tell him to. She stopped moving and opened her green eyes to look at him.

“What do you want, baby? Tell me what you want.”

He leaned his head to her left ankle resting on his shoulder and kissed the ink. She gave him a small smile and took a deep breath.

“Please, Norm… Please fuck me. Fuck me until I can’t walk. Slam inside my ass. I know you want to. Fuck my ass, baby.”

“I love you, Jessie.”

He leaned down and kissed her hard. Their mouths fought for dominance for a while but she gave up first and allowed him to insult her in the best way possible, leaving her slightly breathless when he pulled away.

“I love you too, Norm…Shit!”

His name ended in a loud curse as he began to move, pulling out all the way to the tip of his cock before slamming back inside her. He had to use all the self-control he possessed not to cum right away. She was so tight and met him in the perfect rhythm already after the first thrust. Sweat was starting to drip down his face and he watched as her already sweaty body started to do the same. He wrapped one arm around both her legs and pushed himself if possible even deeper inside her at the same time as he dropped one hand to her perfectly shaped breast. When he pinched one nibble between his fingers and tugged, she cried out.

“Touch yourself, baby.”

His breathing was shallow and fast when she looked back at him and both of them followed her caressing hand down her body until it ended up on top of her wet pussy. He leaned back to be able to watch her better. When her expert fingers began to rub her clit in delicious circles he felt his balls tighten.

“Cum with me, baby.”

He begged and speed up his thrusts inside her. She was too focused on her own pleasure to see his plans. She let out a roar of pleasure and exploded in a fountain like orgasm when he shoved two fingers inside her pussy and began to fuck her in the same pace as her cock was fucking her ass. Her entire body shook and she gasped for air and seeing her in such euphoric state made him go over the edge as well. He removed his fingers from her still squirting pussy and slammed his cock inside her, allowing her orgasm to finishing him off.


	2. Giving up

When she woke up the suite smelled of sweet body fluids and the entire space was filled with sunshine. She was soar all over and when she rolled over to her back she regretted it at once feeling how much her ass hurt. She rolled back to her stomach and noticed that Norman was asleep next to her. He was on his side facing her and she watched him for a long time. She had always loved watching him sleep, his guard completely down and relaxed. They were both naked and she took some time to watch every inch of him. He had said she had scared him for life and she could finally see where. She had thrown a broken bottle at him and it had made a gash on his right underarm. She knew he had needed stitches. The tips of her fingers traced the thin red line gently.

“I’m sorry.”

He had been awake for a while but had allowed her to watch him. The soft words that escaped her surprised him and he finally opened his eyes and found hers looking right back at him.

“For what?”

“For throwing that bottle at you.”

“No girl’s ever left so many scares on me like you have, babe.”

“There’s more than one?”

“Well, the rest of them have faded by now, but this will always be there. It’s like you said, we can’t escape each other.”

He reached out a hand and caressed her check. She moved into his arms and he hugged her to him after kissing the top of her head. She snuggled her head under his chin and closed her eyes. These were the moment she lived for with him. The moments she could just pretend everything was normal between them. That neither of them were fucked up. She could just lay in his arms and listen to the steady beating of his heart and forget her past and just live in the moment. Jessie Hamilton’s life hadn’t been a fairytale, far from it.

She had the ideal childhood and making it through school with top grades, pleasing her parents and making her big sister proud. But her life had crashed alongside so many other Americans on 9/11 2001. Her entire family; parents, sister, boyfriend and their 9-month old son had been on the United 175 flight from Boston. Her boy’s face came to mind when she lay there in Norman’s arms. He had been all smiles and dimples. He hadn’t been planned but when she had gotten pregnant after only dating Josh for 2 months it had felt like the right the thing to do to keep it. New Year’s Day 2001 they had welcomed their baby boy into the world and he had been the light of her life.

It was like Norman could read her mind, because all of a sudden she could feel his light fingers trace the scare on her wrist. He just didn’t only know every inch of her physical, he knew everything there was to know about her. He knew every time baby Jacob was on her mind and he knew she needed him to just be there when it happened.

“I went to see them before I left. I told them about you, that I was going to see you again. I swear, it’s the best free therapy there is just to sit out there and talk to them. Cause there’s no one that talks back at you, you know?”

“Yeah. What did you do in the U.K.?”

“I just needed to get away…I’m sorry about throwing the bottle at you.”

“You never apologize, Jessie.”

“I do to!”

“No, you do not.”

“Just shut up and accept the fucking apologize before I take it back!”

“Alright, alright. Apologize accepted.”

He chuckled a little when she punched his shoulder lightly. She turned and laid on his arm and lifted her ankle.

“You like it?”

“I love it. A bit unexpected though. Why?”

“It was in London. I just walked in to this tattoo place, wanting to do something and I was still so fucking pissed at you.”

“Yeah, that makes all sense in the world, you’re pissed at me so you decided to get a tattoo that reminds you of me every fucking day.”

“I don’t need a fucking tattoo for that.”

“What’re you saying?”

“I’m saying you’ve been driving me insane for the past 10 years and I guess I just realized I’m sort of stuck with you.”

She could feel him tense before leaning up to one elbow. One hand landed on her flat stomach when he looked down at her.

“What the hell are we doing, Jessie?”

“I don’t know, Norman.”

“Do me a favor and swallow your fucking pride for once, babe and tell me why you came back. It’s me, you can tell me.”

“No I can’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Cause I can’t lose you.”

“Why the hell would you do that? How many times have we done this now, Jessie? On again, off again? It’s fucking insane. Do you honestly like this? Is this what you want for another 10 years?”

“No.”

She felt trapped all of a sudden. She had never been good at expressing her feelings and it was always so much easier to walk away then talk about it. He knew she was about to give up, like so many other times when he tried to get her to talk about her feelings. Damn, sometimes he felt like the bitch in their twisted relationship. He was the sensitive one, although he didn’t really possess the best skills when it came to sharing his feelings, he was at least a whole lot better than her. He moved before she did and moved on top of her so she had no chance to leave the bed.

“What the fuck…?!”

She protested at once when he pinned her arms over her head and held her down with his own body.

“If you want me to let you go I will let you go, you just need to tell me, but I can’t keep on going like this, Jessie. I love you. Fuck, I’ve loved you for 9 fucking years, 4 months, 2 weeks and 3 fucking days.”

“Norman… You know I can’t talk about this.”

“About what? What are you so fucking afraid of?”

“I told you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Jessie. I’m right here. You might think you’re stuck with me, but you forget that I’m just as stuck to you. I almost knocked your fucking door down cause I couldn’t get here fast enough. I hate this. You know I hate this! Being away from you.”

“Let me go.”

He sighed but did as he had promised and released her hands. When he attempted to move away from her though, she stopped him by grabbing his upper arms in a tight grip.

“I’m not good at this, you know that.”

“Expressing your feelings? Yeah, that’s not really news, babe. You suck at it.”

He tried to ease the tension between them by joking and he was grateful to find a small smile on her lips. If he had taken a photograph of that very moment, it would have been perfect. It would have looked like two people madly in love with each other.     

She put her hand to his face, caressing the scar under his eye with light fingers before tracing it down his nose and lips. She heard him moan softly when he closed his eyes and tried to saver her touch, wanting to stop time and stay with her until the end of the world. He knew she loved him and he knew she wanted him on a much deeper level then just sex but they never seemed to be able to move past the insane passion they had for each other sexually.

“Move in with me.”

They crazy thought ended up coming out of his mouth before he really had time to think about it. But since they had never really planed anything in their life since the start he couldn’t see the point in thinking it through before asking her. Her hand stopped on his check and he leaned in closer to her, needing her to touch him.

“Move in with me when I go back to Georgia.”

She felt her mouth fall open slightly and she stuttered out a string of non-understandable words.

“I need you, baby.”

“Do you remember the last thing you said to me when I left your apartment before Christmas?”

“Not really. But it doesn’t matter, J.”

“You told me to go to hell and never step inside your home again.”

“I say a lot of shit when I’m drunk, you should know that by now.”

“You weren’t drunk, Norman. Why would you want to live with me again? It never works, you know that.”

“I love you and I know you love me too. You need to let me in, Jessie. I’ve tried for 10 fucking years to break through your stubborn head, I can’t wait another 10 years for you to move on. It’s been 14 years, baby. You won’t love or miss them less because you allow yourself to be happy.”

“I had a family. I had the best family...”

“I’m not trying to replace them, Jessie. I could never do that but you need to let me love you. I know you’re broken, that you will always be missing something in your life but I think I could help you, I really do.”

She wanted to believe him. When she looked back at him, she wanted so bad to believe that he was right. But every time they had tried to do the normal thing and really date, it had ended up the same way. Most of the time she found some fucked up reason like he didn’t pick up his dirty clothes off of the floor, just to pick a fight with him. They could move mountains once they got started. Yelling and screaming at each other for hours. A few times they had even got physical. She had hit first, slapping him in the face but he had done the same and they had both ended up with scratches and bruises. She put both hands on his naked chest and pushed him away. She ended up on the edge of the bed, turning away from him. It was easier not to look at him. She knew she hurt him and she hated seeing the disappointment on his beautiful face.

“Why would this time around be different?”

“Because I really can’t do this anymore, Jessie. I’m tired. I’m fucking sick and tired of living like this.”

“You said you were going to be there. Always.”

“I’ve tried, Jessie. But you are the one pushing me away.”

She felt him move behind her. When his fingers gently caressed her shoulder before leaning in to kiss it, she closed her eyes. She could feel the tears burn behind her closed eyelids. The walls of the suite felt like they crept closer and her breathing got caught somewhere deep down in her stomach. She tried to get her breathing under control and she lost track of time but he was right behind her the whole time, easing the panic just by caressing her back and shoulders.

“Say something.”

 

_Say something, I’m giving up on you_

_I will be the one if you want me to_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something, I’m giving up on you_

 

_And I been feeling so small_

_It was over my head_

_I know nothing at all_

_And I, will stumble and fall_

_I’m still learning to love_

_Just starting to crawl_

 

_Say something I’m giving up on you_

_I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something I’m giving up on you_

 

_And I, will swallow my pride_

_You’re the one that I love_

_And I’m saying goodbye_

 

_S_ _ay something I’m giving up on you_

_And I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you_

_And anywhere I would’ve followed you_

_Say something I’m giving up on you_

_Say something I’m giving up on you_

_Say something…_

 

She had grown up on Broadway, being a professional dancer on every major musical and theatre since the age of 10 and since she could remember music had always had a calming effect on her. His words made one of her favorite songs pop into her head she ran the song through her head over and over until she felt the panic leave her body.

“Are you giving up on me?”

“Could you blame me if I was?”

“Probably not… But you have before, still you’re here right now.”

“You’ve fucked me up pretty good, Jess. I’m a fucking mess without you and it’s sometimes worse when I’m actually with you. I know it’s not just your fault it’s like this, ok? I should have stopped this after our first weekend together but I kept on coming back every time you threw me out.”

“Maybe this is what’s my life is supposed to be. I’ll never work right.”

“I don’t need you to work right, babe. I’ve been dealing with this shit for 10 years, it’s not like it could get worse, right? I know everything about you, Jess.”

She actually chuckled lightly and she couldn’t help but feeling a little bit of warmth spreading through her as his statement sunk it and knowing that it was true.      

 ”I’m not good enough, Norman. I will never be good enough.”

“Why can’t you let me decide that for myself? I’m a grown man, most of the times, I think I can make that call on my own. I really want to try, Jess.”

”Why? Why now? Why would it work out this time around? We’ve tried 2500 times to have something else then just... sex and fights.”

“That’s not true and you fucking know it. Now you’re just trying to find a way out. Like you always do. There’s no excuses left, baby. I know you’re scared, I am too but it scares me more not to see you again.”

“So why would you leave?”

“Because there might be someone out there for me and because of this, what we do to each other, I can’t keep anyone else in my life. I’ve been cheating on every fucking girlfriend for the past 10 years and that’s not who I am. But with you...”

She rose to her feet all of a sudden and turned back around to glare at him.

“Don’t you fucking blame this on me! I never fucking forced you to anything!”

“I’m not saying that you were. I know I was the one choosing to fuck you even when we were both dating but it doesn’t mean I wanted to. I can’t stay away from you but I know I have to unless things change. I think we could make things work, I really truly do. But you have to want it to work out, cause I can’t do it alone.”

She turned away from him and walked up to the balcony door and gazed into the never ending sea. She winced quietly when every step she took made her soar ass ache even more. She didn’t need to see his face to know he probably shrunk a little in bed and felt really bad about hurting her. Through the years they had tried countless times to make it work. She knew why they hadn’t been able to have a normal relationship. She couldn’t stop feeling guilty every time they did something normal as go on dates.

Having sex wasn’t the same. It was just physical and an animalistic drive. She had never been able to make love to him, nor involve her feelings in bed. Even though she hadn’t been dating Josh for more than a year before he was torn from her life, falling in love with Norman felt like letting her entire family down, including their son. She knew Norman was right, that it was time for her to move on but she really was scared. He was suddenly standing behind her and she watched him through the reflection in the glass door.

“I love you, Jessie.”

“But…?”

She knew him just as well as he knew her and she could feel the hesitation in his voice.

“But I’m not coming back again if all you want from me is sex.”

“What do you want from me, Norman?”

“I want more!”     

He waited for her to speak but when she remained silent and dropped her gaze from him, he felt like giving up. He was done waiting for her. He knew he had told himself the same thing a hundred times but as he began to get dressed without her even try to stop him, he realized he couldn’t force her to fall in love with him. Or rather force her to admit she was in love with him. They loved each other and they both knew it.

“I could have made you happy, Jessie.”

It hurt more than anything to say it, but it was true. He knew she could be happy with him if she just moved on. He lost her from view for a second when he pulled the shirt over his head but somehow she had moved and stood in front of him when he was done getting dressed. She was still naked and her bare feet on the grey carpet rocket back and forth slightly, the way they always did when she was nervous.

“Don’t go...”

“You’re not giving me a reason to stay, Jess.”

“You’re not giving me enough time!”

“For what?! What the hell do you need?”

“You just asked me to move in with you. I need more than 5 minutes to think about that!”

“I’m done waiting.”

She gaped at him. He had always been the patient one, too good to her. But now he was really done. She could see it in his eyes. Those eyes that she loved so much had given up on her. He wasn’t going to give her any more chances.

“You’re serious...”

She managed to breath out the words that was stuck in her throat. He nodded before turning away from her and made to leave.

“Take care, Jessie.”

She flung herself around his waist from behind when he grabbed the doorknob. She buried her face in his back and held him tighter to her then she ever had before. He hadn’t expected it and gasped by the force in her embrace.

“I love you, Norman.”

She whispered, feeling tears falling silently down her face. She had never cried for this reason before. For being scared shirtless of never seeing him again. He had been her lifeline for so many years now and the thought of losing him had never scared her like this before. Mainly because she had never believed him when he had threatened to leave before.

“Just saying the fucking words isn’t enough anymore, Jess.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“You know what I want you to do.”

“Give me some time, ok?”

“No…”

“Come on, please. Just until tonight at least.”

He turned the handle and pushed open the door and she had no choice but to let him go. Not wanting the last image of her, being one where she was crying, he forced himself not to look back at her. It was up to her now.

“I’m on deck 10. 10004. Don’t come unless you plan on staying.”

“Ok.”

She stood and watched the closed door for so long she felt her feet going cold and a little numb.                                                                                                                                

The tears finally ran out but the shock lingered throughout the entire day. It had been early when he left, way too early and when it was finally lunch time, the hunger drove her out from the suite. She grabbed her bag and entered the closest restaurant she could find. She took a seat at a table by the big windows and noticed that they were actually not out to sea anymore. She hadn’t even reflected over the fact that the ship was a lot less crowded then when she boarded the day before. But when she took a look around she was able to count the fellow guest on both hands.

While waiting on the food she had ordered she picked up the not yet published book of one Sean Patrick Flanery _Jane Two._ After she had lost her family and failing to kill herself she had been asked by her therapist to start to write a journal. She had found that writing helped to deal with the loose of her loved once and it had turned out to two books that had ended up on New York time’s top 10 list. It had been Norman that had suggested to Sean that she could read it through before publishing. Not that she was an expert but mostly because she had been through the same thing. She had read it through twice already but once she committed to something, she gave it 120 %. She caught herself smiling as she remembered the first time she met the man from Texas when she for the third time began to read the script.

_February 2010 – Los Angeles_

_They had had a pretty good period that had lasted since a little after their birthdays. He had even managed to convince her to leave New York for a few days and come with him to L.A to visit Sean. They were on a night time flight and she was asleep beside him, headphones on, leaning to his shoulder and resting one arm on his abdomen. He wasn’t sure what he was going to introduce her as. The argument inside his head was driving him insane. He wanted to call her his girlfriend but he knew that wasn’t what she was. But still she was more than just a friend. It wasn’t like he could tell the truth. “Hey, this is Jessie, she a friend of mine but we keep fucking the hell out each other every chance we get.” He knew Sean wouldn’t really care but it was the first time they would met and he wanted them to get along. She wasn’t the easiest person to be around but she seemed to be a good place at the moment, which meant they were in a good place._

_He knew it wasn’t fare to blame her for all the fucked up things in their relationship, or whatever they had, but she had been the one leaving him on not less than 20 times since they first met in 2006. But it wasn’t all the times they had broken up that ran through his head when he watched her until he fell asleep himself, it was all the amazing reunions they had. It cost him to wake up several hours later horny as hell. It didn’t help that he found her grinning at him with an evil little smile on her lips he knew too well. The bulge in his jeans hadn’t past unnoticed. Unfortunately for him, they were just decanting towards LAX and the lavatories had been shut. She didn’t help him one bit, in fact she did the whole thing worse by leaning in close to him and starting whisper dirty in his ear._

_“Your dirty little bitch…”_

_He pushed her up against the back of the door to the closest restroom they could find when they finally got off of the aircraft. His mouth was biting and sucking on her neck and her hands were already inside his jeans. When her hand closed all around his hardness and began to stroke him, he bit down on her collarbone, leaving a visible mark. She wriggled out of his arms and dropped to her knees, pulling his jeans down in the process._

_“Fuck.”_

_He let out a growl from deep down his throat when his erection sprang free and she began to lick all the way from the bas to the top of his already leaking cock. When she cupped his balls in one hand and began to really suck him down, he grabbed her head and dropped his gaze to look at her. Seeing her bob her head around him made him want to scream out her name, but knowing it was probably a thousand people walking by only steps away that very moment, made him swallow his roars of pleasure and simply threw his head back and enjoy her lips and tongue._

_“Shit, baby stop. You’re gonna make me cum.”_

_She simply growled, sending amazing vibrations around his cock as she did, when all he really tried to do was to make her stop. When she showed no sign of wanting to let go, he took matter into his own hands and simply grabbed her under the arms._

_“Damn it, baby I know you love sucking my dick but I wanna fuck you.”_

_“Go ahead.”_

_She challenged, smiling at him when he couldn’t seem to get her pants off of fast enough. She helped him by kicking her sneakers off and before she knew it, he had placed her on top of the sink and when the cold surface came in contact with her naked ass, she shirked a little and giggle. He smirked at her before catching her lips in a passionate kiss that kept on going even after he pushed himself inside her. She felt him drop one hand to her pussy and although he knew she really didn’t need his stimulating fingers to hit her climax, he began to rub her clit. She tried to break away from the kiss but his hold on her was so tight there were no escape._

_She knew it was payback for teasing him on the plane. Her orgasm began to build deeper and more violently inside her then she had felt for a very long time and she needed to let out the amazing feeling somehow. The taste of blood filed her mouth when she bit his lip, but it didn’t have the effect she had searched for. She heard him moan and tighten his grip around her neck even further and forced her closer and deepened the kiss. She actually stopped breathing when he made her fall over the edge and the arms behind her that had supported her, couldn’t keep her up anymore._

_Her entire body shook uncontrollable and the only thing she could do was to try to hold on to him. He had finally released her and she knew it was to be able to watch her better. He had slowed down his thrust but she knew he wouldn’t let her recover for long._

_“Babe? Look at me, Jessie.”_

_She tried to find her eyes and make them open but he was just a blur when she tried to locate him. She could feel him only inches away but she couldn’t focus enough. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face at the crock of his neck and tried to breathe._

_“Fuck!”_

_She dug her nails into his back and buried the loud curse in his shoulder when he began to move with more force and speed. She wasn’t even sure her orgasm had stopped pulsing through her body or if he managed to bring her to a new one but she just tried to keep on breathing and hold herself upright._

_“Please, I can… I can’t. I can’t, please stop.”_

_She had never given up before but as her second, or maybe even third, climax hit, she somehow managed to drop her hands to his hips and stop him. He stopped himself, still buried inside her and tugged gently at her braid, making her looking up at him. He wore a smug smile on his lips when he kissed her lightly._

_“Really?”_

_“Yes, Norm, really.”_

_She was so out of breath it was hard to talk but he seemed to understand what she said. She winced when he pulled out of her, leaving her to rest her forehead to his shoulder for a second to just breath._

_“Holly fucking shit…”_

_“You’re not done, baby.”_

_“Give me a second.”_

_She asked. He nodded his response and waited for her to recover._

_“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?”_

_“I try.”_

_“You succeeded, Norman. Beyond… I mean, fuck…”_

_“I’m glad you enjoyed the ride.”_

_“Hell yeah. What about you?”_

_She wrapped one hand around his still erected cock, making him let out a low growl._

_“I will tell you once you’re done.”_

_“Fair enough.”_

_Gently, still feeling extremely sensitive and soar, she kneeled in front of him and blow at the tip of his dick. She teased him at first, gently sucking and licking at the tip only and for once he let her. She relaxed her throat and mouth and swallowed him as much as she possible could without choking. Watching her deep throat him, made him lose some of the control he had been holding on to. He wanted to last a little bit longer, but she was making it hard for him. She sucked hard and so deep he had to finally give up. He grabbed her head and held her steady before emptying his load down her throat._

_“Shit, baby…. Fuck, yeah!”_

_She remained on her knees and sucked him clean before getting to her feet. He caught her in a kiss before she could speak and moaned when he could taste himself on her tongue._

_“Well?”_

_She asked, smiling when he pulled away._

_“You’re fucking great, baby. I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Norman.”_

_“We really should be going. Sean is waiting.”_

_“Right… Hey, a question.”_

_She said as they both began to get dressed again. He huffed to let her know he had heard her._

_“Would you mind if I fucked him?”_

_He stopped with only one leg inside his jeans to look at her with raised eyebrows. He should’ve known the question would come, because she had expressed a desire to fuck “the MacManus Brothers” for a while now._

_“One isn’t enough, is it?”_

_“Come on, it’s not like that, you know that.”_

_“Since when do you ask permission anyway?”_

_“He’s one of your best friends, Norman. Of course I’m going to ask first.”_

_“How thoughtful…”_

_She could hear the irony in his voice but she wasn’t really sure why. They both knew they weren’t exclusive to each other. He had other lovers besides her and so did she. It wasn’t like she would suddenly start dating Sean because they fucked once. He knew her that well by now. She wasn’t looking for a boyfriend._

_“Fine… I’m sorry I asked. If it bothers you, I won’t… Or maybe you think he wouldn’t want to…”_

_“It’s not that. Trust me, he would never turn you down, Jess. I don’t mind if you fuck Sean.”_

_“Ok, good.”_

_“But I want to be there when you do.”_

_It was her time to stop and gape at him, one shoe resting on top of her knee as she tied it. He smirked and grabbed her face between both hands and kissed her hard._

_“You’re serious…”_

_“Fuck yeah.”_

_She studied him for a while and he saw in amazement how a smile spread over her face and she began to laugh._

_“You have done that before! You’ve had threesomes with Sean before!”_

_He rolled his eyes at her but couldn’t help but being amazed over her ability to read him like an open book. She knew everything about him and it felt like she could read his mind at times._

_“Yup.”_

_“Fuck, that’s hot…! You need to tell me.”_

_“Not now, J. We need to get going.”_

_“Come on…!”_

_She pouted and batted her eyelashes at him but this time it didn’t work. He grabbed her by the hand and stalked out from the restroom, running straight into a waiting line outside. They received shocked and angry looks from every single person outside the restroom but they were used to it and simply smiled before hurrying away as fast as possible._

_She gasped when the hot California air blow right in her face as they stepped outside to grab a cab. It was a very hot day in L.A. for being mid-February but the promise of the heat and sun had been one of the reasons she had decided to go with him. She would be spending her days by the pool, working on her tan and trying to start her first book. She hadn’t been able to write a single word for weeks and thought that a change of scenery might help._

_They were going to stay for five days but she knew she would be spending most of that time alone. It wasn’t just a pleasure trip for him, they were doing some work as well._ Boondock Saints 2 – all Saints day _had been realized not too long ago and a DVD realize was coming up, making the two leading men a rather hot topic in the press. She had been a Saints fan from the first movie and she had to admit it had been one of the reasons she had start talking to Norman in the first place, but even though she had known him for 4 years now, Sean hadn’t been introduced to her yet._

_The 44 years old man greeted them on the driveway to his simple but beautiful house in Santa Monica. She got a bit star struck when he after hugging Norman, turned straight to her and had her feet leave the ground for a second when he hugged her as well._

_“Wow, ok… Hey.”_

_“Hi. I’m Sean.”_

_“Jessie.”_

_She shook his hand when he put her down on her feet again. Behind him, she could see Norman shake his head with a smile on his face._

_“How was your flight?”_

_He took her luggage before she even had time to protest and headed towards the front door. Sean wrapped his arm around Norman’s shoulder’s and said something she couldn’t quite make out, but it made Norman smile._

_“We slept through it all.”_

_She heard him answer as they walked inside the slightly cooler house. She could kill for some food but it felt weird to ask. She had been too busy looking at the layout of the house to notice Sean had turned to ask her something. When she turned back she found both of them looking at her._

_“Sorry?”_

_“No, nothing, you feel free to do the tour.”_

_“I think both of us would like to get something to eat first actually. You’re hungry, right?”_

_How did he know that? She hadn’t said a word about it to him. She saw Sean watch them and it seemed he tried to figure out what was going on between his best friend and the young woman he had told him was a friend. He had known Norman long enough to know that was a down right lie._

_“Are you two ok with sharing the guestroom?”_

_She knew it had been the question he had asked when she hadn’t heard him because she saw Norman’s smirk at her as he started to go through the fridge, preparing to make them some late breakfast._

_“Sure. I wouldn’t mind taking a shower before we eat though.”_

_“Of course. Let me show you the guestroom.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“Hey, J, you want eggs?”_

_“Yes, please.”_

_She called back to him as Sean took her back to the front door and up the open staircase to the second floor. The entire house was painted white and had light floors and was very sophisticated furnished. She was use to Norman’s China Town apartment with crazy sculptures and paintings on every wall and although she loved it, she fell in love with Sean’s house at first sight. It was open and had high ceilings. When he opened the first door to the left and showed her inside, she felt her mouth fall slightly open when she found an incredible balcony, overlooking a stunning pool area._

_“Shit…! This is amazing.”_

_“Thanks. You’re dating, right?”_

_“Huh?”_

_She had only listen on one ear, too occupied with taking in the room and house she would be spending a few days in._

_“You and Norm, you’re dating or something, right?”_

_“Or something.”_

_“Really? Not dating?”_

_“We haven’t really put a label on it if you know what I mean?”_

_“Alright. But you’re ok sharing this with him?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“Ok then. I will let you get cleaned up. Feel free to poke around. There’s some fresh towels under the sink. “_

_“Thank you.”_

_Norman was busing himself in the kitchen, making scrambled eggs and was wiping together pancakes as Sean joined him. He took a seat at the kitchen counter and observed his friend for a while before decided to just ask him what he really needed to know._

_“She’s the one you’ve been telling me about for the past, what? 4 years? The crazy one you’ve been screwing?”_

_He wasn’t sure why he hesitated to tell him, but Norman found himself trying to answer but nothing came out at first. She had been sort of his best kept secret for so many years now. The only once that really knew what was going on was his son and ex-girlfriends. Mingus had gotten involved through the simple reason that she had kept on showing up at his apartment very frequently since they met. Of course he wasn’t aware of the crazy sex part, he knew her as a friend of his dad._

_Sean knew he had had someone in his life for the past 4-somewhat years that he had had an extremely good sex life with but he had always shut up about who she actually was. But the moment they had stepped out of the cab together, he had known who she was._

_“Norm…?”_

_“You know she is, you don’t have to ask.”_

_“Say it.”_

_“Fine…! Yes, she’s the one I’ve been telling you about. How the hell could you know that after 5 fucking minutes?”_

_“Cause you’ve been undressing her with your eyes since she stepped out of the fucking car and then you do something as stupid as introducing her as “a friend” when it was pretty obvious you guys just fucked the hell out of each other. On the actual plane or on the airport?”_

_“Both.”_

_“Both what?”_

_“Both airports.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah…”_

_“She said you weren’t dating.”_

_“We’re not.”_

_“Do you want to?”_

_“We’ve tried so many times but it never works out. I don’t know, man, she’s not… She’s too complicated for me. Sex is enough.”_

_“What’s going on with her?”_

_“She lost her family on 9/11. A 1 years old son, boyfriend, parents, sister, everyone.”_

_“Fuck… She had a kid?”_

_“Yeah. Do me a favor and don’t bring it up though. She’s going through a pretty good time right now, no need to remind her.”_

_“No, no, sure… How old is she?”_

_“She turned 29 on January 10 th.”_

_“Damn! I’m old…How are you?”_

_“What?”_

_“How are you, Norman?”_

_“Good. I’m good. It’s good to see you again.”_

_“Yeah, you too.”_

_“How are you, Sean?”_

_“Great, man. I need to head down to the studio this afternoon but after that I was thinking we could go out and grab something to eat.”_

_“Sounds good. I’m not sure if Jess will come though, depends on if she gets working or not.”_

_When Sean just looked puzzled Norman realized an explanation might be a good idea and he told his friend about her current career as an author._

_She had indeed been spending some alone time in the gorgeous house, but she hadn’t minded at all. She had been spending the first 2 days enjoying the warm weather and soaking up the sun on Sean’s pool deck. She had been pleased to find that she had found the ability to write again. It seemed to have done the trick to fly across the country. She probably just needed to find some new inspiration._

_It was their third night in L.A. when Sean came back home alone, having ditched Norman at a close by bike shop. He found Jessie by the pool, lying on her stomach on one of the sunbeds. It looked like she was asleep but as he took a seat on the sunbed beside her, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at him._

_“Hi.”_

_“Hey. Didn’t mean to wake you.”_

_“I wasn’t sleeping. Where’s Norm?”_

_“He stopped at this biker shop. He’ll be back in like half an hour. How’s your day? Productive?”_

_He saw her laptop under the sunbed and nodded his head towards it._

_“Yeah, pretty good.”_

_“So I talked to Norman…”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“About you.”_

_He saw that she tensed slightly when she lifted her head to look at him more clearly. She had been with enough men to know that look she received. And if his eyes weren’t betraying him, the growing bulge in his jeans, made her aware of where he was heading before he opened his mouth to tell her. Norman had told him about her request._

_“And…?”_

_“And I suggest we go inside.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because I’ve nosy neighbors and Norman told me you’re pretty loud.”_

_“He’s pretty good at screaming my name too.”_

_“I’m sure he is, babe.”_

_“Did he tell you he wanted to be there too, though?”_

_“He did, but I’m sure he won’t mind if we start without him. Do you?”_

_“No.”_

_He took her by the hand and when she rose he admittedly pulled her into his arms and planted a hard kiss on her mouth._

_“Let’s have some fun.”_

_The promises in his words made her gasp inside and she felt her pussy clench, soaking her bikini bottoms. He led her to the screen door to the master bedroom and slide it open. She was already undressing him with her eyes before he had closed the door again and tuned to her. The lust in his eyes made her moan quietly to herself. She preferred Norman’s lean body, but when Sean tossed his shirt to the floor, displaying a muscular abdomen and chest sculptured to perfection by all those years of martial arts, she found herself walking up to him and simply put both hands on his chest._

_She let her hands ran all over him, finally ending with undressing his shorts. She smiled a little to herself when she noticed he went commando. Once Sean was completely naked, she stepped back to take a closer look at him. His fully erected dick was slightly bigger then Norman’s and she wondered for a second what the hell she had gotten herself into. They would leave her soar for days._

_“There’s rules.”_

_“Rules?”_

_He asked, watching her intently while she stripped the little she wore as she talked._

_“A rule really.”_

_“Ok…”_

_“You don’t get to kiss me on the mouth.”_

_“But I just did.”_

_“Yeah, but that was before I had been able to tell you the rule.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because he’s the only one who gets to make out with me. He doesn’t like it when other guys kiss me, it’s too intimate.”_

_“He actually said that?”_

_“No, he doesn’t have to. I know.”_

_“No kissing on the lips, I got it. Anything else?”_

_“Just enjoy the ride, Mr. Flanery.”_

_She said and stepped up to him once more. His cock made contact with her belly when he leaned in and attacked the side of her neck with kisses and love bites. She wrapped her arms around his back and ran her fingernails along the side of his body. She grinned to herself when it had the same effect on him as it had on Norman. Sean growled and shivered slightly by the teasing touch. She felt him cup one breast in his hand and she whimpered when he pinched her nipple. He dropped his mouth to the other breast so unexpected she actually moaned when his tongue began to play around it._

_She wasn’t quite use to this. Norman would mostly let her lead the way, but Sean was a lot more dominant than his friend and her lover. His next move proved it even more. He grabbed her hard by the hips and forced her down on the bed behind them, giving her no time to argue or protest. She tried at first to fight to get the upper hand on him, but she noticed pretty quickly that he wasn’t letting her. It was frustrating that he wasn’t allowing her to touch him, but at the same time so damn hot she panted. Her hands were locked in vicelike grip over her head with only one of his hands while the other explored every inch of her body alongside his mouth and tongue._

_“You might as well stop fighting, Jess. You’re not going to win this time.”_

_She dropped her gaze and found him looking back up at her from her belly. She hissed and gritted her teeth._

_“Why don’t you make me!”_

_He actually laughed out loud and rose both eyebrows at her before leaning up and straddled her. She bit her own tongue and cursed herself for being so fucking mouthy when he suddenly reached over the nightstand and produced two black smooth and thick looking ropes._

_“You wanna stop?”_

_“No….”_

_She said, shaking her head at the same time. He tied one hand at the time to the bedpost behind her head. Once he was done he got to his feet and stood beside the bed to be able to really watch her. He smirked to himself and shook his head when he could see she was already leaving wet spots on the bed. She looked back at him, trying to make him do what she wanted without having to beg. She hated begging. She moaned involuntary when he began to stroke himself._

_He watched her squirm and couldn’t help but enjoying the power he held over her at that very moment. Hearing Norman telling all the stories about what she was like, had made him curious if she would allow him to take control. He knew Norman gave in too easily, never being the selfish one in bed._

_“Do you mind if I kiss him?”_

_She stared at him and he guess she searched for a hint of a joke in his words. When she couldn’t find one, she simply shook her head and grinned._

_“No, I don’t mind.”_

_“It’s nothing more than that though, we just kiss. He’s a good kisser. Right?”_

_“Yes he is.”_

_Their silent and none touching fighting for dominance went on for a good few minutes before he actually gave up, being tired of jerking off._

_“Fuck, Jessie, don’t you ever just give up?”_

_“No.”_

_He crawled back into bed, placed himself on top of her on his hands and knees. The moment he was hovering over her, she did the mistake of giving in to her needs and allowed her knees to fall further apart. The movement didn’t pass unnoticed by Sean and she saw him grin down at her._

_“Now, baby I thought you never gave up.”_

_He leaned back to his heels between her legs and moaned when he saw her wet pussy open up in front of him. His cock actually twitched a little and he wanted nothing but to bury his entire length inside her. He placed the tip at her entrance and ran it up and down a few times, stopping to pay some attention to the bundle of nerves, earning him a loud curse mixed with his name._

_“Ask me.”_

_“No!”_

_She gasped, fixing him with her determent gaze._

_“Ask me to fuck you, Jessie.”_

_“No! I’m not begging!”_

_“She really isn’t going to beg, bro so you might as well give up.”_

_Both of them snapped their heads at the same time to the doorway when they heard Norman speak._

_“You really couldn’t wait for me?”_

_“Sorry, man, I blame it on that ridiculously small bikini.”_

_He approached the bed slowly too slowly for her liking. She just wanted him to join them so she could finally fulfil her fantasy about actually having the McManus brothers in the same bed, fucking her brains out. He undressed as he kept staring at her._

_“What the fuck have you gotten yourself into, babe? Not use to this, huh? Is Sean torturing you?”_

_“Shut the fuck up and kiss me.”_

_She demanded when he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. He grinned down at her but didn’t for once give in to her need. Instead he got to his knees and wrapped one hand around Sean’s neck and shoved him forward into a deep kiss, but also costing him to enter Jessie._

_S_ _he wasn’t sure what was hotter; seeing them make out or feeling Sean fill her up so completely she could have exploded on the spot. He could hear Sean moan into his mouth and he knew exactly why, having experienced how wet and tight she always was so many times._

_“Fuck her hard, Sean. Fuck her hard until she cums and when she does, don’t stop.”_

_“Where the hell have you been hiding this evil side before, man?”_

_“I’ve been looking for a chance to get back at her for what she did last night.”_

_“What did you do, Jess?”_

_Both men looked at her and grinned at her. She scowled back at Norman and regretted her decision to let Sean tie her down. One part of her wanted to just get up and leave them to fend for themselves but a small part of her couldn’t wait to see where this would end, but she would never let them know that._

_“Nothing, I didn’t do anything.”_

_“Exactly. She walked around all fucking day teasing me and when we finally hit the sheets, she refused to help me out…What?”_

_He snapped his head to Sean when he cursed quietly. When he saw her smile, he knew she must have clamp down on her insides._

_“Are you guys done talking? In case you’re not I would like you to untie me so I can leave.”_

_“You want me to stop…? Can she actually stop?”_

_“Yeah. She has walked out on me a few times.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes! Fuck! If you don’t want me to do it again I suggest you shut the fuck up and refocus. We can talk later.”_

_Both men looked at each other and seemed to agree on the same thing and she saw both of them nod slightly. She said a fast pray to higher powers when she seemed to finally have convinced them. Sean finally pulled out to seconds later thrust back in with such force she felt her entire body being pushed further up the bed. She threw her head back and arched her back, trying to get him deeper. She felt rather then saw Norman leave the bed and the sound of his pants drop to the floor made her climax creep closer._

_She heard them convers something that she couldn’t focus enough on, but she found herself being flipped over to her stomach and Sean forced her on her knees before slamming back inside her. Norman had had enough watching them after a surprisingly short time and she had been about to comment on this when he moved in on his knees beside her. He didn’t give her the time to do so though. He grabbed her hair tightly and forced himself inside her mouth. While making sure she kept sucking him, he untied her from the bedpost but wrapped the ropes around both her wrist instead._

_“Shit, baby.”_

_Norman hissed through his teeth as she sucked him deep. He repositioned himself and ended up sitting down, leaning to the bedpost. From there he had the perfect view of his friend fucking his lover and at the same time, watching her suck and lick his dick. He stroke her face gently and pulled the hair away from her beautiful face._

_She looked up at him and he mouthed a quite ‘I love you’, making her smile and moan around his dick. Seconds later she wrapped her still tied hands around him as good as she could. She couldn’t hold it in anymore as she felt the incredible feeling of release build through her entire body._

_“Let it out, baby. Scream his name.”_

_“Fuck....! Sean! Don’t stop!”_

_He had had it under control from the moment she undressed but feeling her contract so violently around his cock, made him lose some of that control. Her sweet juries gushed over him and he moaned by the wetness._

_“Slow down, bro.”_

_Norman told him and he stilled himself inside her for a second, allowing her pulsing orgasm to hug his dick hard. He knew exactly how to fuck her the way she wanted to be fucked and Sean wondered for a moment how many times they had actually fucked._

_“Go slow but hard.”_

_He instructed and Sean nodded his response before starting to move again. He knew it would drive her crazy and she was probably already seeing stars. He noticed that she had abounded his cock and figured she hadn’t been able to focus enough on pleasing him when her orgasm had hit so hard._

_“She’s so fucking tight, isn’t she?”_

_He watched Sean and could tell he was struggling not to cum. He was panting slightly and sweat had started to appear on his for head._

_“Fuck, yeah so fucking tight. You wanna trade places?”_

_“Hell yeah.”_

_She moved before Norman was done talking, surprising both of them. Sean groaned loudly when his cock left her hot center. She leaped into Norman’s lap and he caught her lips with his at once. They had practiced the movements so many times before and she didn’t need his guiding hand anymore to get him to slipped inside her. Both of them moaned through the kissing when he filled her up to the bas. He grabbed her hips tightly and helped her when she began to move around him._

_It was so easy having sex with Norman, they knew each other perfectly. She knew exactly how to touch him to make him feel the most possible pleasure. She trailed kisses all along his jaw and down his collarbone at the same time as she ran both hands all over his back and up his neck, twisting her fingers in his hair. All while riding him fast but with full control._

_“I think Sean is feeling a bit left out, babe.”_

_The whisper in her ear made her slow down a bit and she peaked over her shoulder at the older man sitting beside them. She found him jerking off at the foot of the bed, watching them with wide eyes._

_“Fuck my ass, baby and I will make sure he cumes.”_

_She turned around to her hands and knees and Sean moved quickly, fully aware of what she had in mind. She caught his big cock in her sucking mouth at the same time as she felt Norman slip 2 fingers inside her. He made sure they were deliciously wet before he gently entered her tight ass with both fingers. He felt her tens for the shortest of seconds but when he let her get use to him for yet another second, she relaxed and pushed back towards his hand, letting him know without words that she wanted him to move._

_He worked his fingers in and out of her while watching her suck down his friend so deep it seemed even Sean was impressed. He knew she never needed much before she was ready for him but he lubed himself with her juices before slowly easing inside her. He watched as she stopped sucking Sean and grabbed him in one hand instead._

_“Fuck! Oh shit, baby. Move!”_

_He hadn’t even given her time to adjust to him before she asked him to move and it made him smirk slightly to himself. He was amazed she could still surprise him from time to time. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to stay buried inside her even if she hadn’t asked him to. He was so close to edge already. Watching Sean fuck her had turned him on more than he thought would be possible._

_She tried her best to return to the task of pleasing their host but he didn’t seem to mind all the moaning and uncontrollable sucking going on._

_“Holly shit, Jess…! I’m gonna cum! Fuck, you’re good!”_

_She relaxed her throat as good as she possible could when she felt him tens and began to shoot his load inside her waiting mouth. She tried to swallow every last bit, but some escaped and trickled down her chin._

_“God damn! I get why you’re still holding on to this one, Norm. Holly fuck!”_

_He smiled back at his friend at the same time as he grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled her up. She yelped slightly and ached her back as much as she possible could, so not to allow him to slip out._

_“Yeah, she’s fucking amazing.”_

_Jessie wasn’t fully aware of the boys talking, she just tried to push through the pain and find the pleasure she knew wasn’t far away. She wasn’t therefor prepared for their next move at all. She snapped open her eyes when she felt Sean move closer to her and he began to kiss and lick his own cum off of her face at the same time as one hand dropped to her sex and he began to rub her clit between his fingers._

_“Oh my fucking God!”_

_He smiled back at her when she looked at him._

_“Does it feel good, having Norm fuck your tight ass?”_

_“Shit…! Yes! Fuck, Sean, don’t stop!”_

_“I thought you didn’t beg, bitch.”_

_“I’m not fucking begging!”_

_“You will.”_

_He challenged before dropping his mouth to her breast and took it turn to bit and suck her nipples. She wasn’t quite sure how he pulled it off but his tongue soon joined his fingers and he began to lick her pussy so hard at just the right places that she was about to cum within seconds._

_“Christ! Fucking hell, Sean!”_

_He stopped right before her climax was suppose to rushed through her and left her hanging. Their own little game of torture continued while Norman finally emptied herself inside her ass with a loud cry of her name on his lips._

_Once his friend pulled out of her, Sean made his move and more or less wrestled her to the bed and held her down with one arm while the other made contact with her hot center._

_“All you have to do is ask, baby girl.”_

_“Fuck you, Sean!”_

_She tried to get away from him but she had to admit it was a feeble attempt. He sucked, bite and fucked her too good for her to wanting to get away from him._

_“Come on, Jess.”_

_She let out a frustrated roar when he denied her, her realize yet again, his finger stopping moving in out of her and his flicking tongue vanished. She was aching all over for the extreme tension he had managed to build up inside her and she could feel the tears of frustration build up behind her eyelids._

_“Please, Sean. Please, make me cum. I’m begging you, please. I need to fucking cum, Sean.”_

_The moment his name escaped her lips, he removed both fingers from inside her and allowed Norman to take over the sweet torture with his expert fingers. Norman moved two fingers upward and pushed hard at her g-spot at the same time as Sean sucked her clit in between his teeth. She grabbed hold of Sean’s dark sand colored curlers and managed to lift her head just enough to be able to watch both boys. The second time Norman drove his fingers inside her, this time adding a third one and rubbed them against her sweet spot, she exploded around them. She forgot how to breath and her vision got all blurry when wave after wave of pleasure sent vibrations through her entire body._

_She felt nothing else then her pulsing cunt, the rest of her body went all limp and it took her a good 5 minutes to even be able to open her eyes again. She came back to life when she felt two pair of lips kissing their way up her body, starting at her hips. She was so attuned to Norman’s touch that she could tell his lips where the once on the right without having to open her eyes and look at her. He was also the one that ran his hand up and down her legs, gently caressing her soft skin with light fingers._

_“See? Beginning isn’t so hard to do, baby.”_

_“I fucking hate you right now, Sean.”_

_“Nah, you loved it, babe. Let’s do it again.”_

_“I would love to… Baby?”_

_She looked down at Norman, who was resting his head on top of her stomach, kissing her lightly while they talked._

_“Fuck, yeah. We’re so fucking you again, isn’t that right, my dear brother?”_

_He smirked back up at Sean when he added on the Irish accent, fulfilling her wet dream about the Irish twins._


	3. Us

**Chapter three - Us**

She repacked her bag even before she had unpacked it and decided not to give it anymore thought. She had been debating herself into a miner panic attack but she had finally got it into her head that the panic was because she was scared shitless of losing him. It was after midnight when she finally left her cabin, bringing her luggage with her and headed two deck’s up. She had expected to be stopped by security but once she found the right suite there were no one around. No one answered the door ether and she figured he wasn’t back yet. She leaned to the door and sank down on the floor, feeling absolutely drained.

She wrapped her arms around her knees and leaned her head to them and closed her eyes. The ship was rocking gently in the waves and before she knew what hit her, she had dozed off. She wasn’t sure how long she had been out but she woke up by a woman giggling and footsteps approaching. She knew it was Norman before she lifted her head to look up. He came walking towards her, not yet noticing her, because he was all wrapped up in the arms of some bitch. She had never really been jealous of other women before and she wasn’t sure she would call it jealous now but she wanted that bitch gone.

He stopped dead in the middle of the corridor a good couple of feet away from her, when they locked eyes. The woman didn’t seem to notice that he had lost all interest in her. Jessie ran to her feet and stalked up to them, when her hand tried to make its way under his shirt. Norman stopped her at the same time as she noticed Jessie stepping into their personal space. She could smell the alcohol and when the bitch tried to get her into focus, she swayed slightly.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Take a fucking walk, bitch.”

He tried to mask the giggle that wanted to escape him when Jessie spoke, getting real close in the other woman’s face.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you fucking make me?”

He knew she would take on the challenge but really didn’t like the idea of her getting into a fight when there was a pretty good chance someone would caught it on film. The security team wasn’t far away but he had asked them to keep their distance.

“I’m telling you to take a fucking walk too, bitch. Go.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

She glared at him but she couldn’t even stand straight when he stepped away from her. The moment Jessie was sure he was letting the bitch go, she wrapped her arm around his waist and pulled him towards his suite. The other woman was still standing in the middle of the corridor when they closed the door behind them. She got nervous when she stepped inside the cabin and he followed with her luggage. She even stopped inside the door when he walked past her and placed her bag besides his own on the floor.

She began to twist her hands together, not quite knowing why she felt so nervous. He always knew though. He knew her better then she knew herself at times and he knew it was a huge step for her to be there. She had taken a massive leap of faith. She jumped a little when he wrapped both of his hands around hers and stopped her from fidgeting.

“Hey, look at me, baby.”

She took a deep breath and rose her head and came face to face with him. He looked the same as he had always done and it had a calming effect on her. She had loved him for probably 8 years already but she hadn’t really appreciated how much he really cared for her. She had been a complete bitch on a number of occasions but he had always stood by her even though she knew she didn’t deserve it.

“Look, I know it’s not going to be easy, but it’s never really been easy with you so I’m not really worried.”

She knew that she had done the right thing then, because he was the only one who had ever been able to make her laugh when all she wanted to do was cry. She chuckled and watched as he braided their fingers together. She had never been the hand-holding type but she knew it meant a lot to him. She removed the black cap from his head and smiled when the messy curls fell out. He could be pretty picky about his hair but she loved it just like the way it was, long and messy.

“Are we going to talk about this?”

“Yes, but right now I really just want to go to sleep. Could we just sleep?”

“Of course. Are you alright?”

“Yeah… I’m just so drained.”

“Come on.”

He took her hand and walked over to the bed. She sat down on the edge and watched as he excused himself to the bathroom. She could hear him do his business in there, brushing and washing up, but the sounded faded further away for each second and she finally crawled into bed and had fallen asleep within seconds. When he was done in the bathroom and came back not even 5 minutes later, he found her asleep.

Carefully he removed her shoes and even managed to take her jeans off without waking her up. He laid down behind her and wrapped an arm around her before closing his eyes. He hadn’t been sure she would come. He had hoped and maybe even prayed although he didn’t really do that.

 

When he woke several hours later, he found her facing him, still sleeping. She had wrapped one arm lightly over his hip and had kicked the covers to the floor. It was really warm in the cabin and although it was hard to tell, he guessed it was close to noon. The sun was shining in through every window. He tucked a strain of dark hair behind her ear, so better to be able to watch her. He knew she hated that her once natural blond hair started to get a lot darker but he liked it. She had aged very well. Not that she was old. Far from it but she had changed a lot since he first got to know her.

She hadn’t want anything else but his dick back then. They had barley spoken to each other the first couple of times. She had texted him the time and place and they had met up at some hotel or at her place. He had had a girlfriend at the time but he hadn’t been able to resist. She had been his personal drug since the very first time. Now when he woke up beside her he wished it would always be like this. He had no idea how the fuck they would make it work when they had fails so many times before but it felt somehow that it was their time. He was done being single.

“What are you thinking about?”

She spoke quietly and moved her hand slightly, caressing his naked side.

“You. I was thinking about how much I want this to work.”

“What if it doesn't?”

She opened her eyes and when her green once met his blue once, she took a sharp breath in.

“What if it actually does?”

“I was dreaming about it. Of you... Well of us really.”

“Do you want there to be an us?”

“No.... Cause I realized there has already been an us for a few years now.”

“That’s not true, Jess. Not the way I would define an us.”

“Yeah I know, it’s not the same for you but for me there hasn’t been anyone else then you for probably 2 years now.”

He leaned up to one elbow and looked back down on her. He tried to remember the last time he had seen her with another guy but the first one that popped into his head was Sean and that had been back in 2013. Had time really gone that fast? He tried to remember his last girlfriend but he couldn’t even make out a face.

“There haven’t been anyone else but you, Norman. You haven’t been with anyone else ether. Unless you had time to fuck that drunk bitch last night.”

“No. I wouldn’t have even if you hadn’t been here.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t... I can’t do it anymore, Jessie. I can’t walk around pretending to be single and happy when I’m not.”

“So do you want to go out with me Mr. Reedus?”

“Are you asking me out on a date, miss Hamilton?”

“Yes. But you need to brush your teeth before I take you out. Still alcohol mixed with morning breath isn’t doing you any favors right now.”

“Oh yeah?”

He grinned and rolled on top of her, deliberately leaning close to her and kissed her check. She laughed and tried to push him off of when his hands began to tickle her.

“No! Stop! Don’t...!”

She shrieked and fought to make him stop but she was laughing too hard and maybe even enjoying it too much to really want him to stop. He had never teased her like this before, it was always sexual. His lips found her neck with gentle kisses after a while and he stilled his hands.

It had been a new experience and although he had hesitated before trying, he was pretty damn happy about the outcome. She had let him and his insides had melted a little hearing her laugh. But when he finally stopped and his hand began to caress her soft skin under her top and he placed kisses along her neck, he could hear her laughter die out and turn into soft moans.

“I love you.”

Her words made him stop. She had never told him first before, it was always he who expressed his feelings for her first and she would add on an ‘I love you too’. She could tell that her words surprised him and she knew why that was without having to ask.

She grabbed his face between both hands and kissed him on the lips, ignoring the smell and taste of bad alcohol.

“I love you, Norman.”

She wasn’t prepared for his reaction to her words at all. She had seen him cry on only a handful of occasions but it was mostly because he had been real angry or upset over something she had done or said. Now there were a smile behind his tears and she finally understood how much it meant to him that she had said the words first for once.

She had never been good at saying it with enough emotion behind the words.

“What about my stinking breath?”

“I guess I don’t care.”

She replayed and kissed the tears on his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath before placing his head on her chest and allowed her to twine both hands in his hair.

“I love you too, Jessie.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door and he sighed but didn’t bother to move.

“Hey, time to wake up sleeping beauty!”

Norman cursed the director and close friend when he called out from the other side of the door.

“I’m up...!”

His words got cut off when Greg decided to open the door himself, getting assistance from the security personal close by. He took a step inside and stopped, letting the door close by itself behind him.

“Sorry, man.”

“I said I was up.”

She knew Norman was extremely comfortable with Greg and she really didn’t mind having him storm in ether. They were both dressed, even though Norman only wore underwear.

“You’re not up, man.”

“I’m fucking working on it, ok?”

“Sure you are. Nice to see you again, Jess. How are you?”

The director tilted his head and looked sideways at Jessie. Norman groaned when she pushed him away but he sat up on the edge of the bed and she followed but simply crossed her legs in bed and grabbed a pillow.

“Pretty good. How are you?”

“Great. Sorry to storm in like this, thought you were alone, man. We have a signing to get to.”

“Right...”

He left the bed and began to get dressed.

“Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I know. I’ve been traveling a lot lately. I just got back from London.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah it was great.”

“Last time I saw you were down in Georgia, right? When we wrapped up season 6? You were there weren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“So this is...? You look like more than friends right now.”

“Dammit, Greg. Since when are you so fucking curious?”

“No reason, just… Fine, yeah I’m curious. You usually don’t share a bed with your “friends”, Norm.”

He looked from the woman in bed to his friend and tried to figure out what the two of them shared. He knew they had slept together in the past but as far as the director knew, they had remained friends. She had been in and out of his life for as long as he had known Norman but they had always been so secretive. And it hadn’t really changed yet. They didn’t even look at each other as Norman answered.

“Jessie has been sleeping her tonight, nothing else.”

“You don’t have to explain, it’s none of my business.”

“He’s your friend, of course you’re curious, it’s fine, Greg but I really did just sleep here tonight.”

“Alright then.”

“Rain check on that date? Dinner tonight maybe?”

“Sounds good. Do you have an extra key card?”

“You’re moving in?”

The words left Greg before he could stop them and he saw Norman roll his eyes at him at the same time as he handed her the card. Jessie chose to ignore the question when she grabbed the card from his outstretched hand. He wasn’t sure if she wanted him to kiss her goodbye but the hesitation didn’t pass her unnoticed.

She smiled but decided not to help him out this time. His hand ended up on her check for a brief second before he grabbed his cap and exited after Greg.

“Not just friends anymore, are you, man?”

“Sure as hell hope not, dude.”

Once she saw his jeans covered ass disappeared out the door, she bounced down, wanting him to come back right away. But this was one of the reasons they had never made things work. His work and her work took too much time. She knew she had to get use to a lot if they started to date and the one thing she was most nervous about was the fans and the press. On the theatre and musical platform, her family had been pretty well known but she hadn’t really been working since she lost her family. She had tried to go back to Broadway but had only managed to get through a week on the _Phantom of Opera_ before having a major breakdown.

Every single person in her family had been involved in pretty much every production ever made on Broadway somehow and she had found the passion for dancing as early as four years old. She still danced but ever since losing her family, performing on stage had been too much to handle. She didn’t need to work to keep a roof over her head or put food in her mouth. She would be able to survive extremely good due to the life insurance money she had received from losing 5 family member’s and inheriting everything after her parents. So she knew she really couldn’t blame her work anymore for not wanting to try to make things work with him this time. When she had been writing they had had their worst times because she had been so torn in between wanting to dedicate every single second of her life to the book, but at the same time needing him. The first book had been published September 11th 2011 and had been her memories and experiences of the attack from a relative’s point of view.

She hadn’t been in the New York when it happened, she had been in L.A. Waiting at LAX for her family to join her for a few days’ vacation. The second one got published 28th of October 2013, 10 years after her suicide attempt. The thin red cut on her right wrist was a constant reminder of how far gone she had been back then, but also how far she had come since then. She had been admitted to a psychological ward on a 24/7 suicide watch for the first 8 days there. She would never recover from the tragedy of losing her family but through the years and after spending more than 6 months with daily psychiatric therapy she had learned to live with it. She knew she used sex as an excuse just to feel something, but it had been the only thing she had been able to handle emotionally for the past decade. But then there was Norman. The first time she had seen him she wanted him.

_August 2006 – New York_

_She had no desire whatsoever to be there, but she had more or less being forced to. Maya and her had been friends since they both could walk and their families were close as well. But after Jessie had lost her family, Maya hadn’t been the only one pulling away. They never knew how to deal with it, what to say or do when they met here. Jessie had simply walked in on one of the theatre’s she and her family had worked on one day, after being asked by her shrink to try to challenge herself and Maya had been there. They had cried together for hours and then talked even more and since then tried to rebuild their friendship._

_So that was why she was there. She was there because Maya had asked her to come and celebrate a friend’s birthday. There were people she had known way back then everywhere but it felt like another life when she looked around the huge penthouse. She had planned on showing up, have a drink or two and then excuse herself the first chance she got. An hour of mingling sure had to be enough._

_She had begun to start looking for Maya and tell her she was leaving, when she spotted him. He looked like he didn’t want to be there ether, hoovering in a group of people but not really paying any attention in the conversation. He was casually dressed in black jeans and a grey shirt but the top bottoms were open and she could hint a very fine and well-marked collarbone. His brown hair looked a perfect mess, almost like he had messed it up on purpose and she found herself fantasizing about running her hands through it. She hadn’t felt a desire like this for years. The guys she had fucked the past couple of years had all made the first move and she had let them just to see if she could feel anything. But it had never moved past the animalistic need for sexual realize._

_He must have felt her looking at him, because he looked up and their eyes locked. A pair of Ray Ban’s was resting on top of his head. He gave her a small smile and if she wasn’t mistaken, blushed a little. She lost track of how long they looked at each other, but he was suddenly interrupted and forced to participate in the conversation and he turned to whoever had asked a question. Maya was suddenly by her side and she was also forced to turn away._

_“How are you?”_

_“What’s Norman Reedus doing here?”_

_Jessie ignored her friend’s question and asked one of her own instead._

_“Who?”_

_“Never mind…”_

_She had lost him from sight by the few seconds it took for her too look at her friend. At first she tried to brush it off and convince herself to just get the hell out of there, but she was too curious. She wanted to know what it would be like to share a few heated moments with the man she had first known as Murphy. When she found him again, walking out on the balcony, she left Maya in the middle of a sentence. She could hear her friend protest and ask where she was going but she ignored her._

_They were on top of one of the many skyscrapers in Manhattan and although she should be used to it by now, the view over New York City always took her breath away. It was close to midnight but there were still a little bit of the summer warmth clinging on. She was dressed in a green, sleeveless cocktail dress that ended right above her knees. She knew she looked pretty damn good, having already been giving a few comments from both men and women._

_He was leaning on the reeling, lighting a cigarette when she walked out. She wasn’t sure how he could pick it up in the noise coming from the streets down there, but when the door clicked shut, he turned around. She was pleased to see that he gasped a little and his pupils seemed to widen. Wordlessly he held out the pack of smokes to her and she grabbed one. She usually didn’t smoke, but with alcohol in her system she usually ended up smoking. He helped her lit it before she also leaned against the reeling beside him and looked out over the neon city._

_“So the misfits end’s up on the balcony.”_

_“Speak for yourself, girl. I fit right in here.”_

_He said but she could hear the irony in his voice and he might even have rolled his eyes._

_“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”_

_“I’m already losing that battle… So why are you here if you don’t want to be?”_

_“A friend of a friend’s birthday and she kinda treated me into it. What about you?”_

_“Same reason really… It’s gorgeous, isn’t it? I mean I never get tired of this view.”_

_“Yeah, me nether.”_

_“Born and raised?”_

_“In New York? Yes. You?”_

_“No, all over the place really.”_

_“So do you wanna get out of here?”_

_“What’d you suggest?”_

_“I’ve a place 4 blocks from here.”_

_They turned to each other at the same time and she really didn’t need to hear the agreeing words coming out of his mouth to know he would be spending the night with her._

_“Hell yeah.”_

_He put the cigarette out against the reeling before flicking it out into space. He held open the door to her and his hand landed lightly on the small of her back when he guided her inside. She took a quick look around and managed to pin Maya down with her gaze and mouthed a ‘I’m leaving’ to her. She eyed the man behind her friend for a second but finally gave her the thumbs up to let Jessie knew the message had been received._

_They glued themselves to each other the moment they had stepped inside the elevator. She grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him into her arms and attacked his lips. He got caught off guard for about a second before he responded to the kiss so violently he shoved her against the back wall. She could feel his growing erection press against her lower stomach. She ran her hands through his hair when his lips quickly moved down her throat._

_“Oh, fuck it.”_

_She was suddenly pushing him away but it only took him a second to recover when he noticed that she had moved enough to be able to reach the emergency stop bottom. The lift staggered to a halt and she returned her full attention to him, dropping her hands to his crotch and began to run her hand up and down him. He moaned against her lips and pushed her even harder against the wall. She bit down on his lower lip when his fingers tugged away her panties and he shoved two long fingers inside her._

_“Fuck!”_

_She cursed loudly and started to move with him when his fingers began to penetrate her with slow but hard thrusts. It wasn’t enough though. She needed more, feel more of him so she quickly began to strip off of his jeans, effectively showing him what she wanted._

_Her hand wrapped around him and she was quite impressed by his size when she dropped her eyes and looked at him. She had to restrain herself not to drop to her knees and swallow him but she had a feeling he wouldn’t last that long if she actually did. And as he had heard her thoughts, he spoke._

_“Not right now, baby girl. I’m about to explode here, it’s been a while….”_

_“What’s a while?”_

_“A few months.”_

_“Then it’s about time.”_

_“Fuck yeah.”_

_She wrapped one leg around his hip when he moved and pushed himself inside her, filling her up completely and so goddamn good she held her breath for a second and shut her eyes tightly while holding on to his back. He was quick indeed, but oh so damn effective, making her cum after just a few seconds. It was the hottest 3 somewhat minutes of her life and she was so out of breath when he finally slammed inside her one final time and they cum together, muffling each other’s screams with a deep kiss._

_“Damn, girl… “_

_He pulled his jeans back up at the same time as she adjusted her dress and checked her reflection in the mirror. She was flushed and slightly out of breath but she smiled at him through the mirror._

_“Damn yourself…”_

_“You still want me to come back to your place?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Good.”_

_He pushed the bottom again and the lift continued its way down._

_“I’m Norman by the way.”_

_“Well, to me you’re Murphy MacManus actually.”_

_He laughed out loud and grinned at her._

_“Ok then.”_

_“I’m Jessie.”_

_“Nice to meet you, Jessie. I’ve a feeling we’ll get along just fine.”_

_“Me too.”_

 

Jessie was launching on the couch in his New York apartment with her morning coffee and today’s news on the iPad while Norman was still asleep. They had gotten back from Miami the day before and it was their first night together. Not that it really was the first _first_ time, but since they had decided to really try to make it work it was her first morning there.

She had spent so much time in his apartment that it felt like her second home but she had always known that she would leave after a few hours or sometimes after a few days. Now she had no plans to leave and the thought made her strangely comfortable. The other times he had wanted to try, because it was always Norman who had wanted to try, she had felt panic over the fact that she was going to commit to another human being again.

“Morning.”

She turned her head when she heard his bare feet walk across the floor. He came walking up to her, his hair a complete mess and only wearing sweatpants and she repressed a moan of longing.

“Morning.”

She knew he would head straight for the coffee machine and wasn’t surprised when he walked past her to grab his choice of drug. She could survive without coffee but he was barley human before his first cup of the day.

“Sleep ok?”

“Great, but if I’m going to move in here I want my own pillows.”

Sher words seemed to have surprised him because he stopped in the middle of making coffee to look over at her.

“Here?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“We talked about Georgia, when I go back to Georgia.”

“Do you want to wait another 3 months?”

“Hell no, I just thought that was what you wanted. I would love for you to move in here with me.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“Ok.”

He was just about done with the coffee and took the first sip of the hot beverage when the door to the second bedroom behind him opened and his son came walking into the kitchen, rubbing his newly woken eyes.

“When did you get here?”

Norman was so surprised to see his son he practical gaped as him.

“I don’t know… Sometime during the night. I texted you.”

“Must have missed it. How are you doing?”

He hugged his son, who had actually gotten taller than him and it bugged the hell out of him. When they shared a hug, Mingus caught Jessie sitting on the couch.

“Hey, Mingus.”

“Oh great, here we go again…”

The teenager sighed and shook his head before continue, not allowing ether of them to replay to his comment.

“How many times are you guys going to get through this shit? It’s getting a bit ridiculous. You’ve gone through this on again, off again crap more times that most couples in my school combined by now. I thought you were done, dad. You said it was the last time.”

“Hey! Will you calm the fuck down for a second? What the hell, Mingus?”

Norman wasn’t use to his son displaying his emotions like this. He was usually the definition of calm and collected but seeing Jessie seemed to have triggered something.

“I’m fucking sick and tired of having to see her leave and then come back a few weeks later like nothing ever happened. You keep hurting each other and I just can’t figure out why. Do you like it?”

Jessie had left her seat and walked up to the counter which father and son was standing behind. She seemed just as shocked about Mingus anger as he felt, Norman noticed when he looked at her.

“Why are you so upset, Mingus?”

“Because you keep fucking things up for each other every fucking time you get together or what the hell it is that you do. I know you think you’ve been careful about it, but I’ve been dealing with you fighting like the fucking world has come to an end for the past 10 years! I love you, Jessie you know I do but this is driving me insane and I know it does the same to you, dad so why the hell…?”

“It’s been my fault really. Don’t blame your dad for this, cause it’s not his fault it never worked out.”

Jessie cut the teenager off and although he glared a little at her for it, she looked right back at him, begging him to just listen. He nodded once and she continued.

“I know it’s fucked up. It’s been fucked up since the first time we met and at first it really was just about… Having a warm body in bed, you know?”

She saw Norman squirm uncomfortable beside his son when the topic of sex came up. He hated talking sex when his son was around and she knew it but Mingus had to let out some steam that had probably been building for a while now.

“Friends with benefits, yeah I know that part. But why keep going after all the times it didn’t work out? I can’t even count all the fucking times you’ve thrown her out and telling her to go to hell and not a damn week later, you are right back where you left off.”

Norman wanted to sink through the floor when his son spoke. He had been stupid enough to think it would pass without his son noticing. They really had tried to keep Mingus out of their twisted relationship but apparently nothing had slipped by the observant teenager and now it seemed he had been feed up with it just as much as his father had. Only difference was that Norman knew he would do exactly as Mingus said and go right back to her again.

“Do you even love each other or has it always just been about the sex?”

“For the first, I guess 2 years, yes it was but after I stayed with your dad over in Europe in 2008… I mean it was the first time we really tried not just… Have sex.”

“Damn, Jessie shut up!”

Norman threw out both hands in the air in frustration and embarrassment but Mingus simply rolled his eyes at his father before returning his attention to Jessie. She at least tried to make him understand what the whole thing was about.

“Stop treating him like a damn kid, Norman. Once he’s old enough to yell at you like this, he’s probably old enough to handle this.”

“Fine…!”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes, in my own twisted way at first but yeah, I love your father, Mingus. Did he ever tell you I lost my family on 9/11?”

“Yeah, your parents and sister and boyfriend.”

She snapped her head to look at him but he simply shook his head, knowing what was on her mind.

“So you never told him about Jacob?”

“No. You told me not to.”

“I know, I just thought that you did anyway…I had a son. He was 9 months when he died. He would have turned 14 now if he was still alive.”

“You mean he was… He was on the flight too?”

“Yes. My family was going to join me in L.A. for a few days’ vacation, I had flown out a few days before for an audition and they drove to Boston to pick up my sister on the way. And I never say ether of them again… And I know you’ve probably figure it out by now too.”

She placed her hand palm up on the counter and his eyes darted to the tattoo on her wrist as so many times before. The scare underneath was hard to see if one wasn’t close enough but he had seen it before, but never had the guts to ask her. Mingus nodded his head when he returned his gaze to hers.  

“I tried to kill myself 2 years after they died. I just didn’t see the point in living anymore so I cut my wrist open at a hotel in Chicago. A cleaning lady found me and alerted 911. I ended up in surgery for about 5 hours before they managed to fix the cut and stop the bleeding, but it was almost too late, cause I lost so much blood that many of my organs shut down, so they kept me in a coma for nearly a month.”

“You didn’t try again? When you woke up?”

“I wanted to, sure but I was on a 24/7 suicide watch so I never got the chance. Then it got easier when I got to talk to a therapist. She had lost her daughter when she was 2. I talked to a lot of shrinks right after 9/11 too but it never helped, but she had been where I was, you know? You can read all fucking books you want about dealing with losing a child, but you can’t understand if you haven’t been there yourself. I worked with her for about 6 months and now it’s…. Alright. If it hadn’t been for your dad I would’ve cut the other wrist a long time ago, or probably jumped off Empire State or something. I know it doesn’t seem like it must of the times but I actually do love him and I need him in my life. I guess that’s why it’s been so fucked up. I never wanted to admit to myself or to him that I needed him so I kept walking away instead. It’s easier to just walk away but every time I realize I can’t be without him but I’m too…”

“Too fucking stubborn and pride to admit it.”

She gave Norman a small smile when he spoke the words they both knew were true.

“Something like that. I’m not making any promises, I don’t know if we will make it work this time around ether but… I mean the 158th time might be a charm, right?”

“So you might still be here when I get back from school every day?”

“I’m gonna try. If you would like me to stay. You have all right to ask me to leave, you come first, Mingus.”

“If you really promise to give it a try, I’m gonna give it a try too. When you guys aren’t arguing or beating each other up you’re pretty fun to hang around, you know.”

”Thanks, I guess. Are you alrigh?”

Norman had reminded quiet and when she turned to look at him, he looked very confused and maybe even a little sad. She knew his first priority in life would always be Mingus’s wellbeing and seeing him so upset because something that was really his own fault made him hate himself.

“No....Don’t get this the wrong way or read too much into it but...”

She knew what he would ask her before he finished the sentences. She cut him off and rose from her seat.

“You don’t need to ask, baby. Call me when you want me to come back.”

“What? No! I don’t want you to leave, Jess!”

Mingus protested at once.

“You need to talk to your dad alone, Mingus.”

For the first time Mingus turned to look at his father and seemed to understand what she meant when seeing the tortured look on his father’s face.

“Ok...”


	4. Hate

Norman crashed in bed completely emotional drained that night. He had spent the entire day with his son and he had tried to explain 10 years of his life in a way that would make sense to his 16-year-old. He had twisted and turned inside out on his words for hours but Mingus had finally made him understand that he was really alright. As long as they tried.

_I love you so much I hate you._

Norman texted her the moment his back hit the bed.

_Is that a good thing?_

_I’m not sure_

_I’m sorry about how things turned out. Is Mingus alright?_

_He’s fine_

_Are u?_

_Idk_

_I’m really sorry_

_It’s not your fault. I was stupid enough to think I had protected him from this_

_He’s a smart kid_

_Too smart right now_

_You should be pride of him_

_I am but he shouldn’t have to have to deal with this_

_What did you tell him?_

_Everything_

_So it’s over?_

_?_

_If you told him everything he’s not going to want to see me again_

_He loves you. The last thing he told me was to call you so you could come home. You’ve been part of his life since he was 7 years old, there’s none else like you._

_You want me to come home too?_

_More than you know_

_I’ll bring breakfast in the morning_

_Where are you?_

_Ground zero_

_You want me to come?_

_No. I need to be alone here right now_

_I love you_

_Love you too_

_Try and get some sleep_

_Not gonna be a problem. See you tomorrow?_

_I’ll be there before you wake up. Promise_

_I take it back_

_What?_

_I love you so much it feels like I could explode_

_You’re the Sam to my Frodo remember? I know you will always come for me_

She threw her arms around her body after putting her cellphone away. She was sitting on one of the park benches by the fallen towers. She was pretty much alone in the very late New York night. The only once she saw was guards or police men or pedestrians, hurrying past without taking the time to stop. She had left 5 roses on top of the place where her family’s names were carved but it was hard to make them out from her place in the darkness.

She was getting cold so she hugged her knees tighter to her body and pulled the hood of her jacket tighter around her head. Seeing Mingus that morning had forced her own son’s face into sharp focus. He was always at the back of her head, but knowing Jacob would have been a teenager now if he had been alive made it hard sometimes to be around Mingus. She had fantasized so many times about what it would have been like if 9/11 never happened, if her family hadn’t been on that flight. She knew there were no point in dreaming about it really, because the towers were gone and they had gone down with it.

She had had so many nightmares the first couple of years, she would wake up screaming every single night. But for the past two years they had come back less and less. She knew it was because of Norman, although she was too damn stubborn to admit it to herself or to him. For the first time since she lost them, she hadn’t been alone on 9/11 back in 2014. She had always run away when the date began to come closer. Lock herself up on some hotel overseas somewhere and just wait it out. But he hadn’t let her back in 2014. She had tried to get away from him because she knew what a mess she would be but he had stuck it out and even endangered his _Walking Dead_ work by taking the week off, blaming it on a family emergency so he could be with her.

They had travelled down to Mexico on his bike, just driving and staying at a motel whenever they got tired. That had been the first time that they had simply been together, not even having sex once. He had just allowed her to be pissed and sad for a week and she knew he had taken a lot more shit from her then he deserved. She had even beat him black and blue but he had let her take out her anger on him. They had done the same thing only 4 months ago but this time, riding the other direction, towards Canada. It had been the first time that she had been able to actually enjoy the time around 9/11. She had cried and been angry, sure, but he had stood by her side and tried his best to distract her.

Behind her knees and arms wrapped around her head, Jessie’s eyes flew open. It felt like a really bad romance novel but it hit her out of the blue when she sat there, thinking back to their trip. She had fallen in love with him back then. She had needed this time and probably the talk with Mingus too, to make her realize that was what it was all about really. She knew she had loved him for ages but actually being in love with him was a whole other matter. Ever since that week, they had been together, not including the 3 week’s hiatus they had had during the holidays though, but other than that, he had been in her life on a daily basis since the second week of September.

_I’m in love with you_

She knew he had was probably asleep but she had to tell him before she began to second guess herself as so many times before.

Mingus sat bolt upright in bed and started to move when he heard his father cry out in the middle of the night. The apartment was pitch black and he had a hard navigating through the darkness but as he made it over the living room floor, only feet from his dad’s bathroom, he heard the unmistakable sound of Jessie giggling.

“Dad?”

“Sorry, Mingus. Didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Jessie replayed but his curiosity drove him to push open the door even though he was fully aware of his father not being a fan of his bursting into his bedroom.

“Are you alright?”

He found his father as far away from Jessie as he could possibly be in bed. She was sitting, still with her jacket on, on the other side of the bed. She looked frozen.

“No! What the fuck, J? Don’t do that again. You’re fucking freezing!”

“Well, it’s below zero outside, thought you might want to help me heat up.”

“No! Damn, girl, you nearly gave me a heart attack! Go take a bath or something.”

“Good idea. Sorry, Mingus. Go back to bed.”

“You guys are crazy, you know that?”

The teenager shook his head at the two adults in bed before turning to walk back to his bedroom. Norman still tried to get his heartrate under control when he heard the shower starting to run in the bathroom. She had sneaked her hands under the covers and hugged her frozen body to his, costing him to wake with a shrike. He noticed as he sat on the edge of the bed that his phone puckered at his attention. He read the text from Jessie 10 times before finally getting the words into his head. She was in love with him. He had known that she was of course but although he had tried to forced her to tell him a lot of times, she had never admitted to it. Until now.

It was her time to jump a little when he put his arms around her from behind and hugged her under the stream of hot water. She moaned when she felt him press his body to her back and she dropped her hands to the arms around her waist. He pulled her wet hair aside and leaned in to kiss the side of her neck.

“So you’re really stuck on me, babe?”

“You’ve no idea.”

“Na, I knew. I knew before you knew.”

“Yeah.”

“Say it.”

He ran one hand up to her boobs and began palming them gently. The other hand travelled down to her smooth-shaven pussy. She threw one hand out to support herself against the shower wall when he allowed one finger to travel up and down her slit.

“I love you, Norman.”

“No, baby not that. I know you love me.”

“Baby, please…”

“Now, Jess since when do you give up this easily? Are you getting sentimental on me?”

She pushed her pelvis into his hand, needing him to touch her. His hot breath in her ear and his hand on her boobs, made her gave up to her needs sooner than she ever had before, but she noticed that she didn’t care anymore. She needed him for so much more than just sex.

“I’m in love with you, Norman Reedus.”

“I’m in love with you too, Jessie.”

“I knew that.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know how bad it really is. I’m over my fucking head in love with you, baby. I never stopped loving you.”

“Thank God for that. Please, Norm, I need you.”

The moment she begged him, he slipped two fingers inside her and pushed hard upward, rubbing against her g-spot.

“Shit…!”

She grabbed hold of the back of his head and held on tight to his hair as began to move slowly in and out of her. She grind her ass into his erection, making him moan with her.

“I love you, Jess.”

“I love you, Norm… God, I love you so much.”

The sincerity in her voice made his throat contract and he had to force the tears back. Now was not the right time to break down and cry. Instead he spun her around and pressed her up against the wall and kissed her. She responded with a passion he hadn’t felt before. She had never allowed any type of feelings, besides maybe range and anger, when fucking him, but now she kissed and touched him in a completely new way. It was like she couldn’t get him close enough, touch him enough.

“I need you, baby. Please, Norman I need to feel you inside me.”

They both pulled away from each other at the same time to look at each other as he slipped inside her. They held their breath together when he buried himself all the way in and stopped. She leaned forward and kissed his lips gently before wrapping both arms around his neck and on leg around his hip. They started to move together at the same time, not taking their eyes off of each other once.

He finally filled her up in more ways than just physical and he could feel it too. Her walls crumbled around her with every thrust he made. When he lifted her up by her ass and she wrapped both legs around his waist, she exploded around him for the first time that night. He stopped and allowed her climax to pass some. She clung to him and breath hard in his neck.

“You’re mine now, Jessie. Just mine, there’s no one else.”

“I’ve been yours for so long, Norman I just didn’t realize it.”

She began to move slowly around him, taking him by surprise and he let out a low growl from deep down his throat. A sound that set her inside on fire and encourage her to keep moving. He gripped her hips tightly and helped her move faster and harder.

“Fuck, baby… Jessie, baby you feel so good.”

She could feel her second orgasm build after a surprisingly short time. She had never thought sex with Norman could’ve gotten any better, but when she allowed herself to feel everything at last, it got even better. He knew she was close and began to move with her, harder and faster, working towards his own release.

“Shit, baby I’m close. Fuck, J… Cum with me, baby. Cum around my cock.”

“Christ! Fuck, Norm…! Shit…!”

Her words got stuck in her throat and she simply gasped when they exploded around each other at the same time. His legs gave in and they sunk to the floor gently, she still wrapped all the way around him. They milked each other to the last drop while trying to catch their breath in each other arms. All while the water kept falling around them.

“Well… I’m sure hot enough now.”

He chuckled from the crock of her neck and kissed it lightly when she spoke.

“I sure would hope so.”

Both of them moaned when he lifted her off himself and placed her in his lap. She leaned her head to his chest and sighed, listening to his racing heart. Norman leaned his back to the wall and wrapped his arms around her.

“How long were you out there?”

“I don’t know, a few hours. I needed to just be alone and think. It was a fucking weird epiphany or something.”

“What?”

“I can’t remember a time without you anymore. You know, before it was just the time before and after 9/11, but now I’ve started to forget about the time after and I remember you more than the bad things. I think it’s because of that, that I’ve fighting so long not to admit it to myself. I’ve been feelings so fucking guilty.”

“I’m not going to take their place, Jessie.”

“I know.”

“And I don’t want you to forget…”

“But I do. I’ve allowed myself to let go of what happened after and I’m going to focus on the before. It’s the time before 9/11 and then there’s the time after with you, not all that other shit in between.”

“Sounds sane…Can you promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“It’s just me now, right? I’m not going to be able to handle you sleeping around, Jess. It’s you and me now, alright?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s only been you for the past 2 years, Norman. Well, besides Sean but… Could we keep Sean?”

“He’s not a fucking dog, Jessie.”

Norman bust out laughing when she lifted her head and looked up at him. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“You want to keep fucking Sean?”

“I want _us_ to keep fucking Sean.”

“You know he’s dating…”

“So? It’s not like it ever stopped him all those other times?”

“I know.”

“If you don’t want to, it’s fine. I don’t need to.”

“You know I love it too, it’s not just you that likes hitting the sheets with Sean. You know I love to see him fuck your brains out.”

“But just Sean. I don’t want to share you either.”

“Good. What was it like when you fuck him without me?”

“Yeah, I never told you, did I?”

_August 2012 – Senoia, Georgia_

_Norman was all wrapped up in shooting season 3 of Walking Dead and she had been staying with him for about two weeks. She had been hanging around on set a lot but as a 3 day all night shoot was coming up, she decided to stay back in the house. But she wasn’t going to be alone for too long though._

_She ran out from the bathroom, having just stepped out of the shower when her phone rang on the bed._

_“What?”_

_“Sean wanted to know if you were ok with him staying with you tonight? He’s stuck at Atlanta airport with a cancelled flight. I’m stuck out here for the rest of the night but I told him you probably wouldn’t mind a few hours of his company.”_

_“It’s fine, yeah sure.”_

_“Ok, great… But, babe? Try not to fuck him, will you? He’s dating.”_

_“He was the last time we fucked him too!”_

_“Whatever, babe…He will be there in like an hour. Behave!”_

_“Oh shut up, Norman!”_

_“I love you.”_

_“Fuck you.”_

_“Yeah, I will fuck you when I get back in the morning.”_

_“Good.”_

_“What’re you doing anyway?”_

_“I just stepped out of the shower. What are you doing?”_

_“Getting ready in the trailed with Andy.”_

_“Andy’s there?”_

_“Yeah. Why?”_

_“Does he know?”_

_“That you want to fuck Sean, yeah he knows. Why the hell do you think he doesn’t like you?”_

_“Thanks a lot, Norman. I really appreciate it. Did you tell him that part where you like to be there as well?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“Fine…! Well, if Sean is coming I need to get dressed and finish dinner.”_

_“You do that, babe.”_

_“Hey, Norm?”_

_“What?”_

_“I love you too and if you don’t want me to I won’t fuck Sean tonight.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“But I can’t promise you he won’t make a move.”_

_“Fair enough.”_

_They hung up and Jessie turned at once to find something to wear. She went through her closet for about 10 minutes and tried to match something together but finally gave up and pulled on a pair of short jeans shorts and one of Norman’s punk rock t-shirts._

 

_“I really don’t understand how the hell you can still be with her, man.”_

_Norman looked up from his phone after he had hung up on his lover, when Andy spoke from his spot on the couch in his trailer. They were sitting with the scrip of the night and talked it through like they always did before work._

_“I know you don’t. You don’t have to understand. I don’t even understand.”_

_“She’s going to fuck him, right?”_

_“Probably, yeah.”_

_“And it doesn’t bother you?”_

_“We’re not exclusive to each other, Andy.”_

_“Oh fuck that, shit. You love this chick for some fucked up reason and she loves you too. You just said so!”_

_“I know… I know it’s fucked up.”_

_“Ok good I wasn’t sure you actually knew.”_

_“Fuck you, Andy.”_

_“Look, I get why you keep her around, she’s hot as hell, man and pretty damn kinky I’m sure but she messes you up, bro.”_

_“Hot, huh?”_

_“That’s all you heard, eh…? Fuck, yeah she’s hot. But don’t tell her I said that, I still don’t like her.”_

_“I can share you know.”_

_“Shut the fuck up, Norman!”_

_“You don’t want her?”_

_“Hell no…! You think she wants to?”_

_“Like you said, she’s pretty damn kinky. She hates that you don’t like her. It’s very frustration for her. It’s just sex, Andy. It’s really just sex, nothing else.”_

_“You’re offering me to fuck your girlfriend because you know I’m not getting any at home at the moment?”_

_“She’s not my girlfriend, but yeah, if you want to I’m sure she’s up for it. She’s been talking about another gang bang.”_

_“Another one?”_

_“Yeah. We had one with Sean’s and his girlfriend last time we were in L.A before the summer.”_

_“Shit… Really? Her idea?”_

_“And Sean’s.”_

_“Fuck, man. I mean, you will never be able to break up with this chick. She could sale you out, man.”_

_“She’s not my girlfriend!”_

_“You want her to be.”_

_“Most of the times, yes but sometimes not. She does mess me up… But we should focus on tonight, not what Jessie is going to do with Sean.”_

_“Good luck with that, dude. Fuck, now I’m going to think about what she’s doing to him.”_

 

_J_ _essie put the final touches to the dinner that she for once wouldn’t be eating alone. She hated eating alone but she liked cooking so she had done a main course with chicken, a salad and homemade bread as well as a cheesecake for desert. It smelled absolutely amazing when Sean walked inside the house, without waiting for her to open after he knocked once on the front door. She came to meet him with a spoon in her hand and beaming._

_“Hi!”_

_“Hi, gorgeous. How are you doing?”_

_He embraced her in such a tight hug that he once again lifted her off the ground and spun her around once._

_“Great, How are you?”_

_“Good, I’m good. It smells amazing. I’m starving.”_

_“Good, cause dinner’s all about done. Where you going home?”_

_“Yeah. I’ve been in Boston and was just going to touch down for an hour in Atlanta, but they cancelled the flight for some fucking reason.”_

_“Well, at least I don’t have to eat alone tonight then. You’re going tomorrow morning?”_

_“I can stick around for a day or two.”_

_“Great. It’s great to see you again.”_

_“You too, babe. How’s Reedus?”_

_“All wrapped up in Daryl Dixon at the moment. He’s doing great.”_

_“How are you doing then? You and Norman?”_

_“We’re fine. I’ve been staying here for almost 2 weeks now.”_

_“Good. He really loves you, you know.”_

_“I know.”_

_They spent two hours outside on the porch eating, drinking and talking.  After meetin for the first time, they had kept in touched as both of them had really felt a connection that wasn't all about sex. He had turned out to be a very good and close friend in a very short period of time._

_She loved listening to all his stories and she almost doubled over in laughter a few times during dinner. She really regretted promising Norman that she wouldn’t make a move on Sean as they wrapped up their dinner and moved inside to take a seat in the living room and turned on the TV though. She forced herself to sit down at the other end of the couch after grabbing him another beer. He patted the space beside him but she shook her head and moved away from him. He might be a close friend but he was still one of the most good looking guys she had ever seen._

_“I sort of promised Norman I wouldn’t fuck you.”_

_He choked a little on his beer when he chuckled._

_“Sounds like a stupid promise to make.”_

_“It was, so I’m going to stay over here if you don’t mind?”_

_“I do mind actually… You know…”_

_He placed the bottle on the table in front of him before moving closer to her, already knowing she would let him touch her._

_“You don’t have to break that promise.”_

_“Then what the fuck are you doing?”_

_She asked as his hand landed on her thigh and he gently squeezed._

_“We don’t need to fuck.”_

_He grabbed hold of her waist and pulled her down to her back on the couch. She bit her lower lip in anticipation._

_“Do you want me to stop?”_

_He began to run one hand up her inner thigh and was soon running one finger up her still covered pussy. She shook her head._

_“Good, cause I can already smell your pussy, bitch. You’re always ready, aren’t you?”_

_“For you, always.”_

_“Good girl.”_

_He moved and kneeled between her legs and unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped them. He ran one hand right above her already soaking center but ran it up under her shirt instead of down to where she wanted him. He leaned down and kissed her stomach as he lifted the shirt away and exposed her soft skin. When he dipped his tongue into her navel and began to place small bits all the way up her body, she moaned and bucked her hips up into his hands._

_“You’re so fucking sexy, Jessie. Norman should see you now, wearing his cloths, all wet and ready to cum. Maybe I should text him, huh?”_

_Before she knew what had happened or how, he had slipped one hand inside her jeans and penetrated her with two fingers at the same time as his mouth ate its way inside her bra and attached to one nipple and managing to take his phone out and snap a photo._

_“Promise not to fuck her bro, you will get to do that when you get back in the morning.”_

_He spoke at the same time as he texted and he watched as she wriggled under his touch. She was just about to protest for the lack of stimulation, when he tossed the phone to the table and ripped her jeans and panties off in one swift motion. She undressed her t-shirt and bra at the same time and when he leaned back once more, still with two fingers inside her, he repressed a moan as he watched her spread her legs for him._

_“Come on, Sean. Show me what you got. Make me scream. Let me know if you’re better then Norman.”_

_“That’s not fair. Norman has been fucking you for the past 7 years, I’ve been doing it 4 times.”_

_“Give it your best shoot, baby.”_

_He leaned down to her and she could see him aim for her lips, but she turned her head just in time and his lips ended up on her jaw._

_“There’s still rules, even if he ain’t here.”_

_“Sorry, I forgot.”_

_His lips travelled along her jaw and down her throat. He stopped and payed attention to her boobs, making her moan and grab him by the hair. He could feel her tug at his scalp and knew she tried to force him to go down on her. He continued down, but not fast enough for her and he smiled to himself as he felt her frustration in every move he made that wasn’t directed toward her pussy._

_“Norman usually gives in a lot easier, doesn’t he…? Yeah, he loves eating your pussy, right? He loves running his tongue all the way down your slit, biting your clit and see you twist and turn.”_

_Hearing Sean speak through his kisses and bits down her body made her twist and turn alright but not in the way she really wanted. He was licking her hipbones and she heard him take a deep breath._

_“Fuck, Jessie you smell so fucking good. Do you want me inside your wet pussy?”_

_“Yes! Sean, God….!”_

_He pulled his finger out of her and marveled over how wet she was when he ran the fingers up her body, leaving a wet trail behind._

_“Mm, baby you taste so fucking fine.”_

_He tasted the wetness he had left behind on her lower stomach before sucking his own fingers clean. Finally he forced her knees further apart, opening her up even further and he groaned when he saw her wet hole. What he would have done to be able to dive his hardness inside her. Almost as his pray had been answered, he could make out his phone buzzing on the table and he glanced over at it._

_“Go ahead and fuck her brains out, bro if that’s what you want. I’ll get me some of that in the morning anyway. I’m bringing Andy. Don’t tell her.”_

_He smirked to himself, but she couldn’t see that, though she was so wrapped up in her own pleasure and had closed her eyes. He decided not to let her hang anymore but ran his tongue gently over the bundle of nerves at the peak of her pussy. Her responds were instantaneous and she pushed her hips up to meet him. When he ran his tongue all the way down to her ass and up again, stopping to dip it inside her, and then back up to suck her clit in between his teeth, she grabbed hold of his hair so hard he cursed quietly to himself._

_“Fucking hell, Sean…! Jesus, don’t’ stop!”_

_When replacing his two fingers inside her and pushing them just right inside her, she exploded, screaming his name. He made his move without her really being aware of it as she was riding high on her orgasm, but he stripped down quickly and shoved himself inside her with force. He moaned when he could feel her orgasm still pulsing through her, but when he wanted to move, her hands flew up and pressed hard against his abdomen._

_“Please, Sean I… I promise…”_

_“Easy, baby. He told me it was ok.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Of course, I swear I would not fuck you if he wasn’t ok with it. He said it was fine if I wanted to fuck you and I really do want to fuck you, Jess. Can I fuck you? Can I fuck your pussy, Jess?”_

_“Yes.”_

_The word came out as a breath and she saw him smirk before pulling out all the way. He teased her by running his dick up and down her slit and slapping hard against her swollen clit. She cursed and leaned up on her elbows so better to look at him. When she narrowed her eyes at him, he looked right back and challenged her._ _Norman would always give in and get on with fucking her, but Sean wasn’t backing down._

_She found some inner force and manage to push him down onto his back and straddle him. She felt him grab her hips and she thought he would force her back down on her back but instead he guided himself inside her and forced her down around him. His sizes stretched her sensitive pussy in the best way possible and she stayed still for a few seconds._

_“Holly fuck, baby. Move!”_

_She looked down at him with deep satisfaction as she found him panting and breaking a sweat as she forced him to stay buried ball deep inside her without moving._

_“Beg, baby. Beg me to fuck you, Sean.”_

_“Shit, Jessie! Just fucking move!”_

_“Please?”_

_“Jesus Christ…! Fine! Please, baby move your wonderful wet pussy around my dick. Fuck me, Jessie baby. Fuck me hard!”_

_She rolled her hips without lifting herself up. He put both of his hand up and grabbed hers, helping her balance herself a little better as she kept rolling her hips, making sure his big cock touched every part of her insides, sending delicious shock waves to her hot center._

_“Shit, baby… Keep going, baby girl, feels so fucking good.”_

_He took control after a while, but she was surprised he actually allowed her to be in charge for that long. He sat up without breaking their bodies apart and forced her to straddle him with her knees on either side of his body. She started to really move up and down when his hand guided her. She rode him slowly but hard, forcing herself all the way down on him before rising again. His mouth found her breast and he bit down on her nibbles as she bounced up and down his long shaft. Her orgasm had just started to build when his strong hands forced her to stop._

_“Get on your hands and knees, baby.”_

_The instruction left no room for argument and she did as she was told for once and crawled down on the carpet and waited for him._

_“This is going to get hard, baby. Let me know if you can’t take it and I will stop, but it will be rough.”_

_“Just do it, Sean! Fuck me!”_

_She bellowed at him. He grabbed hold of her hair and pushed down hard at the small of her back, forcing her sex backwards to his waiting dick. He forced himself inside her with a force that made her cry out and she fell down on her elbows._

_“Fuck!”_

_“You can take it, bitch.”_

_“Fuck, yeah. Keep going, Sean. Fuck me hard!”_

_She tried to follow his thrust but the force and speed he adapted, made her see stars within seconds. He tore through her and touched her so hard she exploded within seconds, but when he didn’t even slow down she had to really force herself to stay upright. She had never experience this with Norman, he could be rough but not like this. Sean’s size felt like it tore her open from the inside, but it was an amazing feeling that mixed with the pain._

_She had had just about enough when she finally felt him swell inside her and he stilled his thrust when he shot his load inside her. The second she felt his hot seed hit her, she collapsed on the floor underneath him and pulled him with her. He grabbed hold of both her hand resting over their heads and they lay gasping for air._

 

_It was so early the sun had barely made its way up yet when Norman finally got back home after their first night time shoot for the week. He had never thought Andy would take him up on his offer, but there he was, tagging along. He wasn’t sure how well this was going to play out with Jessie though. If she was having a bad day, all three of them would end up being thrown out. But if she was in a good mood, having a good day, he knew they would all be in for a wild ride. Andy had told him he would hang back and just watch at first, not really sure he could pull it off or not._

_She was asleep when they entered the bedroom. Sean was there as well. She was completely naked on her stomach, both hands resting under a pillow and one leg slightly bent under the other, while Sean was sleeping close to her, on his side with one arm loosely wrapped over her lower back._

_“Ok, now I really know why you keep her, man. That’s one mighty fine view to wake up to.”_

_“Sure is.”_

_When the older of the two stepped forward and walked to other side of the bed to sit down next to her, Andy took a seat in an armchair at the foot of the bed. He could already feel the excitement rushing to his growing dick, but he still couldn’t make up his mind rather or not to participate in their games or just stay and watch. Either way it would be a lot more than he had gotten from back home the past couple of months._

_She woke up when she felt the bed move and she knew without having to turn to him, that Norman was lying beside her. When she opened her eyes she was faced with Sean’s sleeping face and as she turned her head the other way she met Norman’s blue eyes, smiling back at her._

_“Morning.”_

_“Morning. Pretty damn good morning to wake up between the twins again.”_

_“How many times did you break your promise, Jess?”_

_“He said it was fine, that you were…!”_

_“Damn, chill, baby, it’s fine.”_

_“What you yelling about…?”_

_Sean woke up with a confused grunt and spun around to his stomach as well, trying to grind the sleep out of his eyes._

_“Hey, man.”_

_He lifted his head from his hands and looked over Jessie to Norman._

_“Hi, man. When did you get back?”_

_“Just now.”_

_“Sorry for stealing your spot.”_

_“It’s fine, I’m pretty good at sharing. Are you up to sharing as well?”_

_“Hell yeah, man.”_

_She didn’t like them talking over her head and hearing their conversation made her confused, something she didn’t like at all. When Sean looked over his shoulder and nodded, she did the same and sat bolt upright, knocking both men’s hands off her body. Andy stared back at her with piercing blue eyes. She felt her brain stop working while they stared each other down. She could see him eyeing every inch of her naked body but for once she wasn’t sure if she actually liked him looking at her. She had thought the English man before her, hated her so it had been easier to try to hate him too._

_“Jessie.”_

_“Andy.”_

_Norman didn’t need to say the words when she spun her head around to look at him. He had sat up behind her and when her eyes darted between Norman and Sean a few times and then back to Andy, she got nervous for the first time ever when it came to sex. She was still a bit sore after Sean’s rough treatment the night before. They waited for her to decide if this was what she wanted. Norman’s eyes were huge with excitement and he already knew she had decided what do before she moved._

_She went for him first, her safe zone. She straddled his lap and caught his lips in a deep kiss. She felt Sean move beside them and his hands began to caress her wherever he could reach, while trailing kissing along her neck and back. She moaned into his mouth when she felt Norman press his crotch hard to hers. She knew she was leaving his jeans wet when she started to grind on him, costing him to share her moans. He grabbed her ass in both hands and squeezed before placing her on her back. A little reluctant, she broke their kiss as he sat back on his heels to undress. Sean was there to catch her attention the second Norman left her. He grabbed the side of her neck and forced her to look at him._

_“Are you alright, baby?”_

_She couldn’t find her voice at the moment but nodded her head._

_“I will be gentle, ok?”_

_He leaned in and whispered in her ear. Her thankful nod ended in a loud curse and she shut her eyes tight when the unmistakable feeling of Norman’s tongue entered her. She got one quick glimpse of his naked body between her legs before Sean moved into her line of vision and began to trail kisses and hard love bites down her body. She freed one of her arms from underneath Sean’s body and wrapped it around his rock hard dick. She felt him stop his insult to her breast for the shortest of seconds, but knew he was enjoying it just as much as she did, when he bit down on her breast._

_“Fuck!”_

_She cried out and tugged at his hair hard, letting him know without words that she could play just as hard as he did if he forced her too. He smirked when he lifted his head to look at her_

_“Sorry, babe…”_

_“What the fuck are you two doing?”_

_She hissed angrily when Norman stopped pleasing her as well to look at them._

_“What the fuck are_ you _doing? Don’t stop, Norman.”_

_He simply grinned at her before returning to the task at hand. She had been so close to edge when he had stopped and once his tongue joined the dance his fingers were doing inside her, she screamed his name_

_“Shit, Norman! Fucking hell!”_

_He sat back up and enjoyed the view in front of him to the fullest for a while. Sean was still kissing every part of her body that he could possible get to while she jerked him off. Her legs were shaking slightly by her pulsing orgasm but her eyes were directed right back at him. A strong urge to kiss her stormed through him and since Sean was doing a very good job following the rule about not making out with her, he went straight for her lips._

_He could hear Sean protest when she removed her hand from his erection to ran both hands in his hair to pull him closer. He didn’t protest for long though. They were so wrapped up in each other to notice much, but when she bit down hard on his lip, he glanced over his shoulder and found Sean buried inside her._

_“I love you, Jess.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_She answered him through the kisses. She scraped his scull with her fingernails when she felt him move his hand down her body and gently pinch her clit between two fingers. He could feel Sean move slowly and it confused him slightly, considering how rough he had been the other times they had shared a bed with his close friend. She knew he was in desperate need of any type of stimulation from her. She could feel Norman’s erection rub against her side and it was leaving her wet._

_“Hey, Sean? Stop.”_

_“Why?”_

_The question came from both of them and it made her actually chuckle. She showed them what she wanted instead of actually saying the words. She let Sean’s dick slide out of her, leaving both of them moaning, and turned around to her hands and knees in front of him. He didn’t need any more invitation then that and he moved back inside her gently. He grabbed her hips with both hands and guided her around him._

_Beside her, Norman seemed to grasp her intention as well and he rose to his knees by her head. When her lips finally closed around him, he threw his head back and let out a string of profanities mixed with her name. She was finally able to see the third man in the room. He had been so quiet and still since she saw him. She knew it was a good chance he wasn’t going to participate at all, just watch them. She didn’t mind but she was curious about the handsome man._

_She found him completely naked and she let out an involuntary gasp when she watched him stroking himself, locking eyes with her. She had always thought Andy had been hot. Not like Norman. Andy was simply a handsome man but Norman was doing so much more for her._

_“You can always go back to hating me later, but right now you need to move over here.”_

_When she spoke to him, he narrowed his eyes at her for the shortest of seconds. She knew he was debating rather or not to actually listen to her or not. If he went with his needs, he would’ve thrown both men away from her a long time ago and fuck her himself. But he still felt guilty. The words Norman had spoken to him ran through his head. It was just sex. Nothing else, no feelings, just sex. No one had to know. No one would ever know._

_He stood and made his way over to the bed. When he got closer, she could see that he was a little less build then the other two men sharing her bed that morning, but he was on the other hand a lot thicker and she even had trouble wrapping her hand all the way around him.. She got a bit torn when she all of a sudden was faced with the task of pleasing both men at the same time. Sean was doing the job himself but both Norman and Andy was waiting for her helping hand and lips. Thankfully Norman was able to read her struggle and grabbed her suddenly by the chin and bent down to kiss her._

_“I’ll fuck you, babe. You focus on Andy, ok? Give him all you got.”_

_He whispered in her ear before moving to lay down underneath her. She abounded Andy while Sean and Norman repositioned themselves. She wasn’t sure who’s it was, but one of them began to fuck her ass with his fingers. She focused on Norman and continued their make out session. She wasn’t sure where it came from, but she couldn’t get enough of his lips at the moment and neither it seemed could he. He touched her everywhere and trailed kisses all over her face and neck._

_“Holly shit…!”_

_Sean cursed loudly and Jessie stopped breathing for a second, closing her eyes shut as she pushed through the first wave of pain when Sean eased himself inside her tight ass. Once he was all the way in and allowed her to adjust to him, she let out a soft moan into Norman’s mouth and wanting nothing more than for Sean to start moving._

_“You’re such a good little bitch, you know that?”_

_She pulled away when he spoke and looked down on him as Sean started to move behind her. She pushed back against him._

_“I’m your bitch.”_

_“Yes, you are. I’m going to fuck you now, baby. We’re going to fuck you.”_

_“Jesus…! Yes! Shit. Do it!”_

_He didn’t need any more approval from her before he entered her second hole, all while Sean stayed buried deep inside her ass. They stayed still together for the shortest of moments before she cried out to both of them._

_“Fucking move!”_

_They stated to move together and her vision got all black for a second before she remembered how to breath. Once she found her focus again she turned to Andy once more. He was patiently waiting for her. But once her lips closed around him, he gathered her hair in one hand and didn’t let her escape him but she didn’t mind, not all. She swiveled her tongue all around him and sucked hard, while rolling his balls in one hand._

_It was a good thing Norman helped her stay upright, because the rhythm the boys were setting while fucking her 2 ways, soon cost her to fall over the edge and her legs and arms began to shake so much it was hard to keep herself on her hands and knees. Andy wouldn’t let her leave either. He had been reluctant at first but when he finally got to experience what Norman had told him was the best blow jobs on the planet, he didn’t want to let her go. She was doing it all right. She graced the entire ledge of his dick with her teeth just hard enough for him to shout her name. He could see her smirk slightly when he did but he didn’t care._

_“Hey, Sean? You mind trading?”_

_At the corner of Andy's eye, he could see Jessie stare up at him when he spoke. She let his dick leave her mouth, but one hand still stroke him just hard enough. Sean pulled out of her without a second thought and Jessie released Andy from her grip._

_“Hold on, baby girl.”_

_Norman spoke softly to her and grabbed hold of her back before he sat a brutal pace with his hips. She fell down on her elbows and wrapped both arms around his head, burring her face in the crook of his neck and simply held on for dear life as he pounded her in almost inhuman speed. It lasted for the 10 seconds it took for his two friends to swish places and the final thrust he made was slow but hard enough for send her over the edge once more._

_“Holly fucking Christ!!!”_

_She didn’t get a chance to recover though. She felt Andy’s hands on her hips and he lifted her back up slightly before carefully stretching her once more._

_“Come on, Jessie baby.”_

_Norman gently kissed her face, trying to bring her back to the present. She was riding high on her orgasm and had a hard time focusing on all the pleasure being directed at her from so many different places._

_“Sean needs you, baby. You need to make him cum, he’s so close, baby. You need to suck his cock, making him scream your name.”_

_His words close to her ear made her eyes finally open she looked back at him._

_“There’s my girl… You’re not giving up already, are you?”_

_“Never. Fucking Christ, baby that was good…”_

_“Yeah, you’re still fucking high aren’t you? I’ll go slow on you, ok?”_

_She pushed herself up on her hands once more as Norman pushed back inside her, meeting Andy with just as slow but controlled movements. Sean was waiting for her, stroking himself when she lifted her gaze in front of her. Norman was right, Sean was close indeed. She could tell the moment she sucked him down as far as she could. She decided not to torture him, but worked fast and hard over him._

_“Fuck, baby…! Oh my fucking God, Jessie!”_

_When he finally let her name escape him in a loud roar, he grabbed her head between both hands and made her swallow his load. Some escaped though and he watched with hazy eyes as she wiped and licked him and herself clean from his sperm._

_“Thanks, baby girl. I’m gonna crash for a few more hours. You enjoy these two a little bit more.”_

_He bent down and kissed her all over her face while he talked. He stood and left the bedroom to head down the hall to the guestroom to crash. While she had getting Sean off the other two had been conversing wordlessly, which took Jessie by surprise. They both stopped at the same time and she felt, rather the saw, Andy sat back down in the bed behind her._

_“I want to watch you fuck Andy, baby.”_

_She didn’t need to be told twice. She whimpered slightly when she rose from Norman’s dick and turned around. She found Andy palming himself, waiting for her and she really just wanted to put him out of his misery. She straddled him and guided him inside her, facing him. He didn’t move in an inch, but waited for her to do the job._

_She began to roll her hips around him and watched in deep satisfaction as he quickly began to lose the battle. She speed up and supported herself with her hands on his shoulder when she began to bounce up and down over him. He was a lot more like Sean then Norman and decided to take control after a while. He forced her on her back and he began to fuck her with hard and long thrust. She wrapped both legs around his waist and held on when Andy’s mouth found her breasts._

_He was a quite lover and she barley had time to registrant that he was close, before she actually felt him explode inside of her._

_“Fuck, Jessie…! How the hell am I going to be able to hate you now?”_

_“Sorry, Andy.”_

_“This is not going to happen again. Ok?”_

_“Ok.”_

_“Unless I want to.”_

_“Sure, Andy. If you need any help I’m sure Norm’s ready to share again.”_

_“Yeah thanks for sharing, man.”_

_“Told you she gives the best fucking blow jobs on the planet, didn’t I?”_

_“Yeah…I will let you finish her off alone, man. Need to get back home. See you tonight.”_

_Andy gathered his cloths quickly and had left the bedroom before either of them really had time to react to the fact that he had left the bed. Norman sat back at the foot of the bed to watch her and when she turned to locate him, he was slowly working himself._

_“Best blow jobs on the planet, huh?”_

_“Oh, come on, it’s not like its fucking news. Come over here and show me what you got, baby. Let those perfect lips suck my dick.”_

_“69?”_

_“Oh, your dirty little bitch. You want me to clean your pussy from all that sperm?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Come here.”_

_He laid back down and beckoned her to him. She crawled on all fours and hoovered over him with her knees on either side of his head. She didn’t wait another heartbeat but swallowed his dick right away and sucked hard._

_“Shit, baby! Go easy, you’re gonna fucking make me cum right away.”_

_She moaned her response, making him cruse even louder when her moans sent vibrations around him. He took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of her sweet juices mixed with probably both Sean’s and Andy’s. The sperm really didn’t do anything for him, but he didn’t mind. He found it oddly hot to know she had made someone else lose control and cum inside her._

_He nibbled lightly at her clit at the same time as he ran two fingers up and down her wet hole. The move earned him another set of wonderful vibrations around him when she moaned. She got close to the edge a lot sooner than he did, making him stop._

_“Not yet, baby. When I cum, you get to cum.”_

_“Fuck you, Norman!”_

_“Trust me.”_

_She huffed in frustration but continued sucking him. He moved his fingers to her ass instead and fucked her gently, but avoided to put too much pressure on her special spots. He knew she enjoyed getting her ass fuck as well, but it wouldn’t make her explode._

_She used both her hands to run him up and down with a lot of force and speed, all while letting her tongue dance over the tip of his dick. It made his balls tighten and he felt his climax build. He moved back to her waiting pussy and used nothing but his tongue to stimulate her._

_“Holly shit, Norman!”_

_She cried out when she exploded after only a second or two of his expert tongue and he followed the second after. She collapsed after her orgasm, leaving his load to end up all over the place, but most of it ended up in her hand and in her hair and face. She was a sticky mess when he managed to crawl over to her collapsed body. She laid panting on her back, her limbs in a complete motionless mess._

_“We need to get you cleaned up, baby.”_

_He kissed her sweaty and sperm covered body, but she didn’t seem to be able to control her body anymore. She simply moaned softly, making him smile to himself. He got up from the bed and scooped her into his arms._

_“You’re fucking amazing, Jessie.”_

_“You’re pretty damn good yourself, Norman.”_

_“Well, I had help.”_

_“Yeah, but you’re the best.”_


	5. Ride

Eye in the Dark woke her up Friday morning. The black cat simply placed himself under her chin and demanded to be petted. She wrapped one arm around the ball of fluff and fell back to sleep after noticing that Norman wasn’t beside her. He had taken his son to school that morning and didn’t have it in him to wake her up. He still hadn’t got use to waking up beside her every morning for the past week. Sure, they had spent more time then that together, but they had never been able to get through 6 days of just the normal waking up together routine. He enjoyed the normal stuff with her more then he thought he would. He would be lying if he said he didn’t secretly like the drama between them, but just waking up in the morning, have breakfast and getting ready together in the bathroom for the day, was something he enjoyed as well.

He had brought breakfast and put the coffee and bagels in the kitchen before heading to the bedroom. His heart melted when he found the cat sleeping under her chin and her arm was wrapped securely around his furry friend. He snapped a couple of pictures with his phone before existing the room again. He quickly got restless waiting for her to wake up and wasn’t quite sure what to do. He really needed to clean the apartment, but it didn’t seem to be the best thing to do when Jessie was still asleep. He ended up by the laptop and began to do some research for his upcoming new show _Ride._ He still needed to talk to her about it.                       

He was on his second cup of coffee when he finally heard her stir in the bedroom. When he lifted his head from the screen, she came walking towards him carrying the cat on one arm.

“I think I’ve finally been able to win him over.”

“So it seems. He always liked you, he just didn’t love you.”

“Yeah… Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

She walked up to him and kissed him. It was another thing he hadn’t quite got use to yet; her kisses were different from before. She would kiss him when he least expected it and with so much more passion then before. It drove him slightly crazy trying to figure out how she had been able to change so much in just a few days. But maybe it really was just about letting go of her fears and allow herself to be happy that changed everything. It just seemed a bit too simple to him and a part of him even waited for her to just change her mind and tell him it had all been a joke. He must have got lost in thought because she was suddenly waving one hand in front of his eyes and he snapped back to her.

“Where did you go?”

“Sorry…This is real, right? You and I? You’re still here?”

“I’m right here, Norman. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Maybe that’s the thing. I’m waiting for things to go wrong.”

“Do you want them to?”

“No! No, of course not but… I guess I’m still waiting for you to change your mind about all this.”

“There’s no going back from this, baby.”

“From what?”

“Falling in love with you.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup… You’re going to have to put up with me for a long time.”

She stroke his face on the way past him toward the coffee machine. He turned around in his seat and followed her.

“That was sort of the point with the whole forcing-you-to-revile-your-feeling-for-me-idea.”

She poured herself a cup of coffee, beaming over at him, when he spoke.

“You’re sure you know what you’re getting yourself into, Mr. Reedus?”

“No fucking clue, but I love it. It’s like the first time we met, I had no idea what I was getting myself into back then either but I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. You’re the Frodo to my Sam, right? You’re the Hermione to my Ron? What other corny fantasy couple do you like…?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up!”

“Bella and Edward?”

“You wouldn’t be Edward, baby, you’d be Jake, the best friend.”

“And werewolf, sure that sounds just like me.”

“No, the hot one. Jake’s the hot one, the sexy one.”

“Come on, you’re making me blush here, babe.”

She smirked at him when she wrapped one arm around his neck and sat down in his lap. He had indeed turned slightly red but she simply kissed his check.

“No reason to blush when you know it’s true. Did all the million pictures of you online with the caption “sexist man alive”, somehow pass you by?”

“Shut your mouth…! Besides, all I care about is what you think, not all them other million people on the planet.”

“Well, I happen to be one of them million people that post pictures of you online with the caption “sexist man alive.”

“Really? Since when?”

“Since forever… Who do you think posts all those private photos?”

“You’re the damn leak?”

“You know I am.”

“Yeah…”

“I want to ask you something?”

“Yeah, me too.”

“What’s up?”

“You go first. I brought bagels for breakfast by the way. I took Mingus to school this morning. You’re hungry?”

“Yeah, I thought you already ate.”

“No, I waited for you.”

It was the little things like this that made her fall in love with him. He was always so thoughtful and sweet to her. It was just breakfast but he always made sure she was being taken care off in the best way possible. She kissed him, taking him by surprise yet again.

“I love you, Norman.”

“I love you too. So breakfast?”

“Yes please… So I was wondering about something.”

She started while he began to go through the kitchen, gathering everything they needed on the kitchen counter. She had taken his abounded seat and sat cuddling the cat who looked completely out in her arms.

“Yeah?”

“What am I?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean when we go back to Georgia and you start filming again, what am I there as? Your friend? Girlfriend? What do I tell people?”

“What do you want to tell people?”

“That’s not fare! I asked first.”

He chuckled when he handed her a glass of orange juice.

“Alright… I want them to know you’re my girlfriend. That we live together and it’s… Sort of serious.”

“Sort of serious? What the hell does that mean?”

“You know….”

“Just spit it out, will ya?”

“You know, that you don’t have anyone else in your life anymore. That I don’t have anyone else either for that matter. It’s just you and I…Does that make sense?”

“Perfectly.”

“Good.”

“And the press?”

“The press on the other hand… They don’t need to know.”

“So we lie?”

“Jessie…”

He had known her long enough to know she was close to start arguing loudly with him and he needed to stop her before she crossed the line.

“I don’t have to share every fucking thing in my life with the media because of the fame, or what the fuck you want to call it… I don’t want to share you with the rest of the world. I need some parts of my life to still be private.”

“I get that and I agree but I don’t know if I like the idea of hiding.”

“It’s not hiding.”

“But it is! You’re the one who wants the “normal”. Nothing about dating you is going to be normal because of what you do. We’re not going to take a stroll through Central Park holding hands and kiss on the bridge. We’re not going to go see a movie or go out for dinner. I mean, sure we might be able to pull that off for the first month but people, fans, will realize I’m not just a friend sooner or later.”

“Are you seriously trying to find a fucking way out of this already?!”

She recoiled when he snapped at her. She hadn’t expected it and she wasn’t use to him yelling at her first at all. She was always the first one to start yelling. The cat in her arms woke up with a stare and scattered out of the way so fast, he scratched her arm.

Her impulse was to start yelling back at him, but she managed to swallow it somehow and connect with the rational part of her brain. She needed to explain to him what she meant, because it really did seem even to her like she was trying to find an excuse when she ran their conversation through in her head once more.

“Listen… That’s not what this is about. I’m not trying to find a way out, I know it might have come out that way, but it’s really the other way around. I love you, Norman and I want to be able to show you or tell you whenever I want to. Not just between these four fucking walls. I mean if we’re in your car or on your bike or whatever and I feel the need to kiss you or hug you or fuck you, I don’t want to have to stop because there might be a fucking photographer or a fan that might see us. I get that you don’t want to share your personal life with every person on the planet, I respect that, you know that and I feel the same but if you want “normal”, that’s what normal looks like to me. Making out in Central Park, go on vacation, have dinner together…”

She trailed off and they ended up staring at each other. He tried to take in her words and make sense of them at the same time as he tried to remember the last time she had been so rational. He couldn’t remember her ever choosing not to pick a fight with him. He knew what she said was true and although he really wasn’t the top target by the paparazzi in New York, he didn’t want to give them any reason to put him higher up on their list.

“You’re right…I know you’re right, baby but I… I just want to keep your safe.”

“I get that and it’s really sweet but there’s nothing in life that scares me anymore, besides not being able to be with you.”

“Since when did you because such a fucking romantic? Damn, Jessie, you’re making me fucking cry.”

She could actually see his eyes tear up when she looked at him. She hurried around the counter and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in her shoulder and felt a couple of tears escape.

“Sorry…”

He apologized when they pulled apart, but she caught his lips before he could continue and kissed him hard, shutting him up effectively.

“I’m over my fucking head in love with you too.”

“Yeah, I’m beginning to get that now…”

“Good.”

“I’m not going to lie, but I’m not going to tell them, how about that? If and when the question comes up I’m not going to lie but I want to keep a low profile.”

“Meaning?”

“No fucking in Central Park.”

“No, that will have to wait until the summer.”

She teased and he tried to scowl at her, but failed.

“Meaning we don’t have to go looking for the first chance we get to end up in the tabloids.”

“Not going to happen, I promise. So should I change my Facebook status?”

“What you got right now?”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s still complicated.”

“It’s always going to be complicated. Do you want to be my boyfriend, Mr. Reedus?”

“Wow, are you already popping the question?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“I would love to be your boyfriend, Miss Hamilton… That makes you my girlfriend.”

“That’s the idea.”

“I gotta call Andy…”

“Yeah, sure. You can go call your other girlfriend when you tell me what you want to talk to me about.”

“Right. I’m starting _Ride_ in the beginning of February. We’re heading out to L.A. and Vegas and Florida and, well I’ll be traveling pretty much the entire month, we’re heading out to London for Walker Stalker too and… I want you to come.”

“Sure.”

“Just that? ‘Sure’?

“Yeah, what did you expect? Do I get to ride too?”

“What part of ‘I want you to come’ didn’t make any sense to you? That’s what I’m saying. I want you to come with me, for all of it.”

“I wasn’t so sure when you yelled at me 5 minutes ago.”

“Fair enough. You’ll have to get your own bike though. Kinda blows our cover if we shoot the entire series with you behind my back on the bike. It’s going to get intense. 6 locations in like 8 weeks. And London in between all of it. And promo and…”

“I’m in. I would love to ride with Norman Reedus.”

“With or on?”

“Well, if you could actually feed me some breakfast sometime, I would definitely take you for a ride, but I’m fucking starving.”


	6. Partners

She collapsed on the hotel bed, head first and closed her eyes. They were in Vegas for the night and she had been on her bike the entire day. Well, her bike was to stretch the truth, but she had been on _a bike_ , riding with Norman from Santa Cruz all the way to Vegas. It had been an almost 10 hours long ride and she was completely bet.

He had of course been the one introducing her to the biker lifestyle. She had been extremely reluctant at first, not trusting a vehicle with less than four wheels, but she had begun riding with him to set once he began working in Georgia and fallen in love with the freedom. He had taught her everything there was to know and before she knew it she was the owner of 2 bikes of her own. One classic red Scrambler was parked in his Georgia home, while she had a smaller Ducati back in New York.  

“I feel like I still have that damn bike between my legs.”

She could hear him laugh behind her, but she didn’t have the energy to turn her heard around to look at him.

“Turn around and I will help you out.”

“With what?”

She asked but did turn around to her back, her arms threw out from her body and her eyes still closed. She felt him move in between her feet at the edge of the bed.

“Take your cloth’s off.”

He repressed a moan when he watched her black jeans, tight leather jacket and black high booths. He began with her boots and removed one at the time. Next he unzipped her jacket and got distracted at once when the opened jacket exposed her boobs. She was wearing a short sleeved dark green plaid shirt underneath and she hadn’t bothered to close the top bottoms, showing off her impressive cleavage. He ran one finger down her throat, in between her breast and continued to the bottoms. He saw her breathing got heavy and she tensed slightly when the finger stopped at the waistline of her jeans. When he let his own jacket hit the floor with a thud, she opened her eyes and looked at him. She bit her lower lip when he tore the shirt from his body and dropped his hands to his jeans and began to work on the belt buckle. She shrugged out of the jacket before moving on to unbutton her shirt. She saw him follow every little move she made and it set her blood on fire seeing how turned on she was making him.

She took him by surprise when she sat up and moved closer to the edge of the bed. Her hands grabbed his hips and she leaned in to kiss his lower stomach. While placing wet kisses and small bits all over his stomach and hips, she dropped his jeans and boxers to the floor, freeing his fully erected cock. She went slow and gentle on him, trying to touch every part of his stomach and chest with her lips and tongue all while her hands were caressing his sides and back just as gentle. He didn’t rush her for once, but loved how she finally was able to take her time and pay attention to all part of his body.

He didn’t protest at all though when she finally directed her kisses towards his crotch. Her tongue made contact with the tip of his dick and she ran it along the slit, costing him to hiss her name through his teeth. She worked the bas of his dick with both hands, while teasing the tip with her tongue.

“Shit, baby. Fuck, that feels good.”

Encouraged by his words and moans she dropped her hands and swallowed him hard, making him hit the back of her throat and he cried out.

“Fucking shit…! Oh, baby you’re so fucking good. Harder, Jess, please, baby.”

She gave in to his wish without hesitation and was rewarded with his loudest cry of her name yet. She could feel him want to pull away once his climax began to build and she knew why but she kept a firm grip on his hips and stopped him from moving away from her. He had planned on fucking her, but he noticed pretty quickly that she had other plans. He struggled for about 10 seconds before going along with her plan and he pushed himself into her mouth. She greeted him with a low moan that sent vibrations all around him. She continued to suck him down her wonderful mouth, swiveling her tongue around him and gently sucking and caressing his balls. He had given up a long time ago and just enjoyed his girlfriend’s expert mouth around him. The tingling sensations of release began all the way down in his toes and worked itself up through his entire body. It was an overwhelming feeling and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

“Holly shit! Jessie, baby I’m gonna cum! Fuck…!”

She grabbed him by the hands and pushed him down on the bed on his back. She knew he would collapse by the intense orgasm she had managed to build up in him and she rather he be lying down when he finally cum. He didn’t protest at all, simply allowed her to guide him. As quickly as possible, she swallowed him again and once she deep throated him once more, he came screaming her name at the top of his lungs. 

“Jesus! Oh my fucking God…! Jessie!”

She relaxed her throat and tried to swallow all he got but his climax just kept coming and coming, taking both of them by surprise. She leaned back on her heals to watch as he tried to gain control over his own body again. He was gasping for air and his eyes were drifting in and out of focus. She wasn’t even sure he was aware of her lips beginning to kiss their way up his body, starting at his hips. As she finally ended up at his neck, she felt him move one hand and cup her chine, stirring her towards his own lips. He planted a gentle kiss on her lips, tasting the salty taste of himself.

“Dear God, baby that was… fucking amazing.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”   

“Holly shit, babe I feel fucking high right now. That was insane.”

“Good.”

She stopped his hand when she felt it traveling down her throat towards her breast. She knew he wanted to repay her.

“Save it for tomorrow morning, Norm.”

“What? No…”

“Yes. We need to get some sleep, we’re both fucking exhausted.”

“I want to make it up to you.”

“I know you do, baby, but you really don’t have to right now. Go to sleep.”

“Where’re you going?”

“Gotta pee.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

She kissed him quickly before getting up from the bed and left for the bathroom. When she got back 5 minutes later, he was already asleep. She covered his naked body with the thin hotel sheet and kissed his hair before crawling down next to him. He wrapped one arm around her the moment his unconscious body felt her next to him.

He had flown back to L.A. for the _Triple 9_ premiere but she had decided to stay in New York. The past 3 weeks had been so intense and she really just needed a minute to breath. She knew he did too, but there was no time. He was pretty much getting back to New York to change cloths and they were going to fly out to London the very same night he got back from L.A. But she had about 48 hours in her hometown and she spent them in his apartment. Or was it their apartment? She was taking up half his closet space and the majority of the products in the bathroom were hers but it had been that way for at least the past 5 years. She couldn’t even remember when she spent a solid month straight in her own apartment. She wasn’t sure if that meant they had past the invincible line where two people went from just dating to actually being partners or not.  

She slept until noon on Thursday and the rest of the day was spent on the couch, catching up on some TV shows. But she got interrupted in the middle of it when the front door suddenly opened and Mingus stumbled through the door. He halted in the hallway when she came to meet him.

“Hi!”

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you’d be with dad in L.A.”

He hugged her tightly.

“Needed a little break. What are you doing here?”

“Checking in on the cat, but I guess he’s fine since you here. When did you get back?”

“Last night. He’s fine. We’re watching TV. How are you doing?”

“Great. Just finished school, thought I drop by before I got back home. I can stay though if you want.”

“Don’t you need to get home to mom?”

“She isn’t home.”

“Oh… Well, ok then, I would love for you to stay.”

“Great.”

The slightly gangly teenager bounced down on the couch and was immediately attacked by the black cat, who seemed in desperate need of a belly rub. Without asking, she collected 2 package of ice cream from the freezer and handed him one.

“It’s one of those days, huh? Eating junk and watch TV all day long?”

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, Mingus.”

 

2 hours later all ice cream was gone and they had turned on the first season of _Walking Dead._

“Are you and dad alright?”

She was in the kitchen making popcorn when the question she had been waiting all day for finally came. It was getting late and the streets outside was dimly lit by the streetlights only. She returned with the bowl and sat it down between them on the couch before answering his question.

“Yeah. It’s great. It’s been really intense tagging alone while he’s been filming but it’s been really amazing.”

“So no fights?”

“Not with him.”

“I’m guessing the production team?”

“Yeah. Bunch of assholes…. First day out in L.A was insane. I really could’ve killed one of them. It’s like they think they own him because he signed a fucking contract.”

“They didn’t like the idea of you tagging along I guess.”

“That’s a fucking understatement. He got really pissed though. It was sort of sweet actually. You know, he’s always been good at standing up for me and we were both half way back to the airport when they changed their minds.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I guess they figured it would be much of a show if he actually wasn’t in a show called _Ride with Norman Reedus._ It would just be _Ride,_ it probably wasn’t going to sale, you know?”

“And now they’re kissing ass, right?”

“So hard….! They even asked what kind of bike I would like when they go down to Florida after we get back from London.”

“You’re going to London?”

“Yeah and straight from London, back to L.A. for promo and then back here for a week or something and then back to shooting.”

“I’m impressed you still here. It’s pretty insane dating my dad.”

“Mingus, I’ve never known anything else but insane with your father.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Maybe it’s what we need to make this work, you know what I mean?”

“Not really.”

“He gets bored pretty easily, you know, doesn’t like to sit still for too long and I’m kinda the same. Before it didn’t work so well, because it made it pretty damn difficult to have a rational conversation if one of us got upset about something. He starts yelling, I start yelling and it just goes out of hand.”

“Tell me about it…”

“But now, when he’s so busy and it’s so much going on all the time and that I’ve promised to really try it’s easier. There’s no time over for all the drama and we’ve had quite a few discussions already.”

“Without yelling at each other from opposite sides of the room?”

“Yeah. I know it’s not always going to be like this, but maybe we need this, taking baby steps.”

“Speaking of baby steps….”

She stared at the teenager next to her. He looked back at her and seemed to hesitate a second before he continued.

“Are you planning on having a kid?”

Her mouth fell open in shock and she forgot how to blink her eyes.

“No…”

She finally found her voice again and crocked the answer.

“Too bad. I really like a little brother or sister and mom is really too old but you’re a lot younger so I just thought that…”

“Sorry, Mingus, not going to happen.”

“Why not? Because you lost yours?”

He looked straight at her when he asked and she was so grateful for his complete bluntness. He wasn’t afraid of asking the questions he wanted answered and for that she was rather impressed but also thankful. Most people didn’t have the guts to ask, although she knew they wondered about a million things when they met her.

“I just never thought about it.”

“Why not? You’re, what, 35? It’s not like it’s too late to have another kid.”

“I guess not but…It’s not that easy.”

“I get that, but I beat you were an awesome mom, seems only fair someone else should get the chance. And you would have the prettiest babies around. Just saying… There’s something for you to think about tonight. I’m gonna go to bed. See you tomorrow.”

He got up and kissed her still shock check before leaving for his bedroom. She kept looking at the door even after he had vanished through it. She wasn’t too old, that was true but the thought of having another kid hadn’t past her mind for 10 years.

Right after it happened, it had almost been an obsession. She had wanted her child back so bad she had been ready to sleep with anyone who in any way resembled Josh so that she could make a new baby Jacob. Somehow it had felt like the right thing to do, that she would be alright as long as she had a child again. She would be complete, herself again, when a baby boy was resting on her hip once more. She had never gotten pregnant and once she had actually been getting the proper help she needed, she was glad it hadn’t happened. She had never been able to handle a new child back then. She had thought it was what she needed but she didn’t need a new child, she needed her child, her Jacob to be complete again. And that wasn’t going to happen. Mingus had filled his place to some extent, but she knew now that was because he reminded her of Norman so much and that she loved his father more than anyone else, meaning she loved the teenager as well. They were her family now.

Norman was jumping up and down waiting for the elevator which couldn’t get there fast enough. When it finally arrived, he rushed inside and pushed the bottom to his floor and cursed when the doors remained open for a second too long for his liking. 40-somehwat hours without her had been 40-somewhat hours too long. They only had a few hours before they were heading out to JFK, but he was planning on making every minute count. He had done the mistake of looking through his photos on his phone and found that the majority of all his pictures for the last 4 months had been of her. Most of them had been extremely intimate and private, making him almost kick in the front door when he finally reached it.

He saw Jessie jump in the kitchen when he burst through the door. It looked like she was preparing lunch and when she opened her mouth to speak, he caught her off by forcing his lips on hers. He crushed her to him and their mouths and tongues began to battle for real, while she quickly undressed his jacket and he kicked off his shoes. He had to restrain himself not to just shred her cloths into small pieces, but she was so effective and cloths were coming off in record time. She needed to feel him just as bad as he needed her. He sent papers and books flying when he forced her on her back on the kitchen table. She cried out and grabbed his hair when he went down on her. He guessed it took her a little by surprise, thinking he would just fuck her, but finally be able to get a taste of his personal drug again was something he couldn’t pass on when he knew how wet she always was for him. He wasn’t disappointed this time either when he ran his tongue all over her and could taste her wonderful juices. He worked fast and within seconds pushed 3 fingers inside her, making her cum in less than a minute. Quickly, while her climax still pulsed through her, he straightened up and pushed himself inside her. She arched her back up to him and he caught her breast in his mouth as he sat an almost brutal pace. She met him with every thrust he made and knew she loved making their two bodies become one just as much as he did and both of them wanted to feel as much of the other person as possible. His hands were running all over her body while he watched her squirm with pleasure, moaning his name. He felt and saw her tense at the same time as his own climax began. She threw her arms around his neck and attached her mouth to his. They fell over the edge together, all while kissing each other hard. She let go of his lips first, a desperate need to take really deep breaths. She buried her face in his shoulder instead. He was still inside her when he picked her up in his arms and she quickly wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her toward the bedroom. When he had finally placed her gently in the middle of the bed and lay on top of her, did he spoke.

“Hi.”

“Hi. Welcome home.”

“For however short that might be.”

“You’re here now, that’s what matter.”

She put both hands on his face and caressed him softly. He closed his eyes and leaned his face into her hands.

“I missed you.”

“Me too. How was L.A.? I saw a little bit of the red carpet event, looking mighty fine, Mr. Reedus.”

“It was fun, great seeing everyone again. I really missed you though.”

“Good, that was kinda the point. We needed a bit of a break from each other.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Mingus is here by the way.”

“Here, here?”

“No, not right now. He’s in school but he’s probably getting back soon. He’s been staying with me.”

“Really? How’s that been?”

“Pretty good. I mean it’s only been a day and a half. He’s a lot braver then you give him credit for.”

“I’ve always said he’s brave.”

“Yeah I know but you don’t need to protect him as much as you think you do. We’ve been talking a lot about all this, you and I and how things were.”

“I’m glad you got the chance to talk.”

“Me too.”

He studied her closely, stroking the hair away from her face. She looked back at him and the look in her eye made him a bit confused. She looked troubled, like she really wanted to say something more but wasn’t sure how to phrase it. She even chewed on her lip nervously.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, it’s nothing.”

“You can tell me.”

“I know.”

They could both hear the front door open and Mingus called her name. It cut off a little short though and they both realized what a mess they must have left in the kitchen.

“Dad!”

“Sorry, Mingus!”

He called back and both of them began to giggle quietly.

“Don’t come in here though, your dad’s butt naked.”

“From the look of this mess out here, I would say you’re butt naked too, Jessie!”

“Oh, shut up!”

Norman called back to his son when they heard him start laughing.

“Do we got any food?”

Norman groaned out loud when Jessie pushed him away and pulled a way too big t-shirt on.

“Your son is hungry.”

“Well, so am I… Wanna go out and grab something quick before we go?”

“Sure… Hey, Mingus? You wanna head out for dinner?”

“Only if you guys get dressed first.”

“Well, aren’t you mister smart mouth all of a sudden.”

Norman muttered to himself as he began to get dressed as well. He tried but failed to repress a moan when she pulled on a pair of tight blue jeans and tossed his own shirt from herself and straight at him, leaving him to admire her naked chest. He followed her into the closet to find something to wear for himself, but when she turned her back to him, looking through her shirts and tops, he got distracted and forgot what he was there to do. Instead he sneaked his hands around her from behind and grabbed her boobs in his hands, gently squeezing. She hissed threw her teeth by surprise.

“Shit… Baby, don’t start anything you can’t finish.”

She begged him when his lips found her neck and he sucked lightly on her skin. Once again he groaned in frustration and even pouted before removing his hands. 

“Fine.”

“Sorry, babe”

She spun back around to him with a white rather see-through shirt.

“Are you seriously trying to make me fuck you in public?”

She looked down on her outfit as she fastened the second to last bottom on the shirt. A long gold neckless was resting on top of her push up cleavage.

“What? You need to learn how to cage your snake when we go out, baby.”

“You’re not exactly making things easy for me, Jess. Damn you look hot, girl.”

“Thank you. And thanks for the ride just now, you were great.”

She put both hands on his still naked chest and kissed him lightly on the lips before exiting the closet.

“You gotta stop this, don’t say stuff like that when you know I won’t be able to do anything about it.”

“Just put on a pair of pants, baby will you?”

“Help me out?”

“Put on some cloths, Norman or I’m asking Mingus to come and help you.”

He cursed under his breath and tugged a shirt down from its hanger so hard it fell to the floor. He didn’t bother to pick it up but thrown on his cloths and stalked out to the living room minutes later. His son and girlfriend were already waiting by the front door.

“Hi, dad.”

“Hi, son. Sorry I yelled at you. How are you doing?”

He kissed the top of his son’s head, but it wasn’t without difficulty, though Mingus had actually outgrown his father by a few inches.

“I’m good. How are you, dad?”

“Tired and hungry.”

“Not to mention love sick.”

“Will you shut up….? Damn, Mingus, don’t say stuff like that!”

“What? It’s nice to finally be able to teas you about it, not just listen to the two of you arguing all the time. It’s different this time.”

“Where’s my shoes?”

Jessie raised her eyebrow at him and Mingus chuckled when Norman began to look around in the hallway. Jessie finally took pity on him and walked off to the kitchen and gathered his shoes and jacket from the floor by the table.

“Right…”

He blushed slightly as Jessie gave him his stuff and he put them on.

“Did you even get inside?”

“My stuff wasn’t out here, where they?”

Norman asked his son as he opened the front door and the left the apartment. Mingus giggled and shook his head as he walked past the two adult and continued to the elevator ahead of them. He took her right hand in his left and kissed the top of it before dropping it back down.

“Love you.”

“Love you too. “

She said and surprised him when she tugged at his hand and they stopped for a second to share a kiss. Mingus was smiling at both of them as they caught up to him outside the elevator.

“What’s up with the smile?”

“Nothing. Just glad it finally worked out for you guys. I told mom you had a girlfriend now.”

“What she say?”

“She wondered who it was. She hoped I was kidding when I told her it was Jessie. You’re not really on her top 10 list of people she loves, you know what I mean?”

“I know.”

Jessie sighed slightly as she entered the lift with father and son. Naturally she had had crossed paths with Helena on a number of occasions through the years. She had celebrated both Norman’s and Mingus’s birthdays with their family but Norman had always introduced her as a friend. Something that had backfired on him when Helena finally in 2012 had figured out that they were more than just friends and that Jessie had actually been living with her son for almost half his life. It hadn’t gone down well and it hadn’t really helped that Jessie had gone straight into defense mood.

_December 2012 – NYC_

_Jessie had been staying with him since he got back from Georgia. Not full term but she had come and gone for the past weeks and it drove him crazy not knowing when she was coming back again. They hadn’t really been fighting, but she hadn’t always been there when he woke up in the morning._

_She was there now though, when he got back from dinner with some friends. It had been an early evening and he was looking forward to crash in front of the TV for a few hours and watch a movie or two. The couch was occupied when he entered the apartment however. Jessie was sitting in the middle of it with a bowl of M &M’s between her legs and watching a Walking Dead episode. _

_“Hey.”_

_“Hi.”_

_He took a seat beside her and she offered him the candy. He shook his head and she replaced it between her crossed legs._

_“You could have texted me.”_

_“Why?”_

_“I could have come home. Have you eaten?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Are you staying?”_

_“Depends on if you want me to stay?”_

_“Yeah, of course.”_

_“Then I’ll stay.”_

_“Good.”_

_He placed a hand on her thigh and leaned in closer to her. She was only wearing PJ shorts and a tank top and he ran his fingers gently over her soft skin. The thought of kissing him had just entered her brain when he leaned close to her and caught her lips. He lifted her into his lap when the kiss got deeper, but just as his hands vanished under her top, they were interrupted by a knock on the door._

_“What the hell…?”_

_He pulled away but her lips continued to his throat and neck instead. He thought about ignoring it at first but he didn’t have to make the decision thought he suddenly heard a key turn in the door. Jessie was still focused on getting him back, running her hands under his shirt and he decided not to give a fuck who was at the door. She always made him forget all about what really was right and wrong. If he had been with someone else, he would have made her stop the moment the knock on the door came, but with her he didn’t care. He regretted it the same second his ex-girlfriend and mother to his son, stalked into the apartment._

_“Jess… Jessie, baby, hey stop…”_

_He grabbed her head between both his hands and forced her to look around. She scrambled off him when she saw Helena staring back at them._

_“Hey, Helena. What are you doing here?”_

_“We need to talk.”_

_“Now? Can’t it wait?”_

_“No! Did you really think this would pass me by?”_

_“What?”_

_“How long have you been fucking?!”_

_Jessie half rose from the couch, but Norman’s hand landed on her knee and she sat back down again._

_“That’s none of your fucking business!”_

_“Shut your fucking mouth, Jessie! It’s my fucking business when it effects my son!”_

_“What are you talking about? Mingus has nothing to do with this, Helena. We’ve been keeping him out of this.”_

_“What the hell is “this”? Mingus told me she has been living here for 5 fucking years! Doesn’t sound like just a friend to me, Norman!”_

_“It’s not that easy, Helena and it really isn’t your business.”_

_“She has fucking beaten you up, Norman! How the fuck can you let someone like her be this close to your son?!”_

_“Fuck you!”_

_He couldn’t stop her when Jessie moved once more and she got up in the taller woman’s face before he managed to put his arms around her waist and pull her away._

_“You don’t know a fucking thing!”_

_“You’re proving my point right now, bitch. Stay away from my son, Jessie!”_

_“What the fuck did he tell you? Did he tell you I’ve been part of his life since he was 7 years old? That I’ve been staying here ever since? That he loves me? Is that why you’re so fucking mad?! I’ve never hurt Mingus, I would never hurt him!”_

_“What the fuck do you know about it?! You’re not a mother….! You don’t know my son like I do!”_

_He could see her eyes turned black and it was lucky Norman had kept his arms around her, because she launched at Helena with closed fists. He somehow managed to lifted her off of the floor and spun her away from the brunette. She cursed but he wasn’t sure if it was meant for him or for her, he just concentrated on making sure Jessie didn’t do anything he knew she would regret. When she dug her nails into his arms he let out a quite curse and sat her down on her feet again. She tried to get past him, but when he grabbed her shoulder and forced her to look at him, she actually tore her furious eyes of the other woman and looked at him._

_“I don’t fucking need to listen to this shit!”_

_She fought herself free from him and turned and stalked off to the bedroom._

_“The front door is over there, bitch!”_

_“Fuck you! I fucking live here rather you like it or not, your fucking whore!”_

_She slammed the door behind her. Norman rounded on her at once, fuming._

_“What the fuck was that? That was fucking uncalled for, Helena!”_

_“She’s fucking crazy! What the hell are you doing with that bitch?!”_

_“I don’t have to fucking explain that to you! She lives here from time to time. Mingus has known her for years and they really like each other. She would never do anything to hurt him. She loves Mingus.”_

_“She doesn’t love him! She’s not his mom…! She just wants to fuck you!”_

_“Oh shut the fuck up, Helena! You don’t know a fucking thing about what’s going on between us or what’s she been through!”_

_“Keep her away from Mingus, Norman!”_

_“Not going to happen, Helena!”_

_“You’re fucking unbelievable! Do you honestly think she’s good for him?! That she can take care of my son?!”_

_“Our son! And yes, I’d trust her with my life! She loves Mingus, Helena.”_

_“She’s a fucking psychopath!”_

_“She lost her own son on 9/11!”_

_Norman suddenly shouted out and Helena’s eyes widened in shock and the words she was about to shout back at him got stuck in her throat and she stared at him._

_“She lost her 9-month old son on 9/11. He was on the United flight that hit the tower. She lost her entire family that day. Including Jacob… Mingus doesn’t know though, I would appreciate if you didn’t tell him. She doesn’t want Mingus to know about him.”_

_Helena stared at the closed bedroom door and then back to Norman. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two a few times while she tried to find her voice again._

_“He would’ve been a little more than a year younger then Mingus if he was still alive. He was born on New Year’s Day 2001. I know it won’t change the way you might look at Jessie and me but you gotta trust me when I say that she really does love Mingus. She would never do anything to hurt him, she really does care about him and they do have a lot of fun together. Whatever happens between us, we’re trying to make sure it doesn’t affect him, but he’s a smart kid. He hears and sees things and yes, it hasn’t been an easy ride. My number 1 priority has always been and always will be our son, Helena. You know that! I’m sorry I lied about this, I should probably have told you.”_

_“How long? How long has she been in your life?”_

_“Since 2006. We met through mutual friends She didn’t get to meet Mingus until 6 months later though… Look, you don’t have to like her, I know you never really have, but you need to respect her and you need to accept that she’s in my life and in Mingus’ life.”_

_“What exactly is she, Norman? Your girlfriend?”_

_“No… No, it’s complicated.”_

_“She’s the reason you haven’t been able to keep a steady relationship since we slit, isn’t she?”_

_“Maybe… It doesn’t matter, it’s my shit and I will deal with it. I love her. I love Jessie, I’ve for years.”_

_“Yeah, I know that. It’s kinda obvious. It would’ve been a lot easier if you told me this from the beginning.”_

_“I really haven’t known how to tell you. What did Mingus tell you really?”_

_“He said something about how fun it was that she was living with you again and that he wished she stuck around a little longer this time around. And I sort of starting to put two and two together.”_

_“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you something like this a long time ago… Are we cool? Are you alright? I’m still picking him up Monday after school, right?”_

_“Is she going to still be here?”_

_“I don’t know… I really don’t know. We’re figuring things out day by day right now.”_

_“What fucked up relationship are you guys in?”_

_“Trust me, you don’t want to know. But I promise Mingus won’t get in involved in this mess.”_

_“He already is, Norman… I’m not going to apologize but tell her I’m sorry about her son.”_

_“You don’t have to apologize, she won’t. Not for a while… Hold on…”_

_Norman walked over to the bookshelf by the TV and picked out a well-used book that he handed over to her. She took it with a puzzled expression._

_“We’re sorry, miss Smith but there’s been a terror attack in New York City.” I’ve read this book before, Norman.”_

_“Well, yeah, but do me a favor and read it again. Jessie wrote it.”_

_“What?”_

_“Yeah, it’s her book. She didn’t want to use her real name when she wrote it cause all the money goes to the survivals foundation of 9/11 and it’s... I’m just saying, she really does care for Mingus.”_

_“Thanks for putting up with me. You and your son is my light at the end of the tunnel. I love you both, you know who you are. You will always be the Sam to my Frodo. XOXO”_

_Helena read out the thank you on the first page. Jessie had signed it and also left a faded red lipstick kiss on the page. She shut the book and looked up at him after placing the book in her handbag._

_“Take care, Norman.”_

_“You too, Helena.”_

_He stared to breath normally when the front door finally closed and his ex-girlfriend had left the apartment. He rushed to the bedroom right away, knowing she would probably be waiting to take out her anger on him. He couldn’t find her when he opened the door however so he walked into the bathroom. It was empty as well. He found her when he turned around to face the bedroom once more. She was crawled together in a small ball on the floor behind the bed. She looked tinny where she sat, her arms wrapped around her knees and her head resting against the arms._

_“Hey…? Baby?”_

_He fell to his knees in front of her and put one gentle hand on her arms. When she didn’t seem to want to look up at him, he wrapped both arms around her small body and lifted her into his lap after leaning back to the bed. She let him hold her for about a minute before he could feel her relax slightly. The tears trickled down her face quietly at first but after a while she clung to his torso and buried her hysteric sobs in his chest. He could hear her force occasional words like “Jacob”, “mom”, “Mingus” and he finally figured why she was so complexly devastated. Helena had said she wasn’t a mother, that she couldn’t know what it was like but it wasn’t true. She had been a mother once, she just wasn’t anymore._


	7. one last ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so i really messed this up... somehow i managed to miss a chapter so i'm adding it right after this... i'm blaming it on old age and low energy ;)

Andy couldn’t really say that he was pleased to see her when he saw her step out of the cab behind Norman outside his house. There was something different about them but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it though. Not until he opened the front door and greeted them before they had made it halfway up the pavement. They were holding hands. He had never seen them hold hands before

“Hey, man!”

Norman was practicality beaming at him and the weird thing was that she was actually looking just as happy and didn’t seem to mind sharing it with him at all. For the past 6 years as he had known Jessie, she had mostly tried to avoid him. She had been on set throughout all six season and to most of their dinner party’s or BBQ’s back in Georgia but always tried to stay in the background. She had been the love interest of many cast and crew members that had crossed her through the years and he had caught her make out with a handful of them. That’s when the dislike begun. She thought that he hated her, but it was mostly that he didn’t understand. What she had with one of his best friend was so messed up and in his eyes. They had had endless discussions about it through the years and he knew that Norman wanted more and maybe it had finally happened, after all those 100 times of trying. Cause even during those times, when he knew they had tried to really date, he had never seen them hold hands. It was a silly thing really but something so new that he started to hope they had finally found each other. Or rather, that Jessie had found him at last.  

“What’s up, Norm…! Hey, Jess.”

“Hello, Andy.”

“Yeah, sorry. Guess I forgot to tell you she was coming too, huh?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. Come inside, it’s freezing out here. I was just having breakfast. Hope you got some sleep on that plane, it’s going to be a long day.”

“Yeah, slept through it all. Hey, where’s the kids and wife?”

“Visiting family.”

“I really, really need to use the bathroom.”

Jessie had barely gotten her shoes and jacket off before she turned to Andy. He pointed her in the right direction and she hurried towards the bathroom. The two friends made their way into the kitchen and Andy served his friend a cup of coffee

“What’s up?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Come on, Norman. I’ve known you for 6 years now, I know when something is going on. What’s up?”

“We’re dating.”

“Again…”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same this time. We’re really, really dating. She has been staying with me for a month now.”

“Wow, that must be some sort of a record.”

He didn’t mean to sound so condescending but he had heard the same words so many times before.

“Thanks, man…!”

“I’m sorry, Norman, I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry, let me start over. How’re things going? How are you and Jessie?”

“It’s good. It’s really good.”

“I’m glad.”

“Are you really?”

“Yes, of course I am. If you’re happy, I’m happy. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“Thanks, honey…”

Norman smirked, making Andy roll his eyes right back at him. 

“Fuck you!”

“It’s different this time, it really is.”

“Why?”

“Cause I told her I was done waiting.”

“Something you should’ve done 3 fucking years ago, man.”

“She would never have stayed 3 years ago if I told her that. She needed some time to figure things out. Could you please try and behave around her?”

“I’ve always behaved! She’s the one with an attitude, bro.”

“Fine, I’ll give you that but she’s actually my girlfriend now so it would be…”

“Wow, really? You’re actually taking the step and calling her your girlfriend now? You’re right, that’s different from all those 100 other times. You’ve never freely called her your girlfriend before.”

“See? It’s different.”

“Alright, good…. Toast?”

“Yes, please.”

“How about you, Jessie? Some breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

Norman turned around as Jessie walked into the kitchen. He allowed himself to stare at her for a second too long and he knew it would make Andy grin, but he didn’t care. She wore no makeup at all that morning and he actually preferred it that way. She really was a natural beauty, much thanks to does incredible green, bright eyes. She caught him staring at her when she stepped into the kitchen and it put a small smile on her face. She knew she had changed her way of looking at him, but he had changed too. When surrendered by other people he had rarely shown his feelings for her. They had never been the touchy, clinging sort when being around friends and family. That had changed now though. She walked over and kissed him before sitting down in his lap. Andy, who had been busy preparing breakfast for his guest, got caught by surprise when he found them wrapped in each other arms.

“What?”

Jessie finally asked as he had stood still for a little too long with a stack of toast in one hand. He snorted quietly and shook his head.

“Nothing… “

“Could you just fucking say what you wanna say, Andy and get it out of the way?”

She could feel both men gape at her, but she hated tipping around on her toes around Andy, waiting for him build up his courage and confront her. She just wanted to get it out of the way.

“That’s the fucking attitude I’m talking about, man…!”

“Just say what you wanna say to me, Andy.”

She asked and grabbed a piece of toast as he placed them on the table. She was starving and she knew she could actually eat and argue with Andy at the same time. It didn’t seem that Andy could though when he took a seat on the opposite side of the table.

“I already know you hate me so what could be wor…?”

“Don’t say that. I don’t hate you, Jessie.”

Andy caught her off.

“I hate what you do to each other there’s a difference. I’ve never understood and I never will understand what the fuck you’ve had going on for the past 10 years. It’s messed up, really fucked up. I mean, I’ve seen you cheat on him about a 100 times and it’s…”

“I never cheated on him cause we were never dating…!”

“You fucking know what I mean, Jessie. You always said you were never jealous but that’s just a load of crap. The moment he got a little too close to anyone else you were always there and fucked things up.”

“I’ve never forced him to anything.”

“You shiting me, right? He can’t fucking stay away from you, Jessie! He never could and you know just how to wheel him back in and things would be fine for about a month between the two of you and then you go fuck someone else. For what? Cause you got bored? Pissed at him?”

“Come on, Andy that’s not fare...”

Norman began quietly but Jessie cut him off. He was rather impressed though, she sounded rather collected and she seemed in full control of her temper.

“No, let him get it all out, babe… Even if I wanted to, which I don’t cause it’s none of your fucking business, I couldn’t explain it to you. I don’t know why it happens. In the beginning, the first couple of years it was just sex. For him too. We just got together to have sex. Sometimes for the night, sometimes for the entire month. And then things moved past the sex and he introduced me to his family and friends and things just sort of happened.”

“When did you tell him you loved him?”

“When we were over in Europe in 2008… I know you think it’s fucked up and it has been fucked up and I know you think it’s all my fault. It mostly is but Norman knows just as well as me, which bottoms to push to get my attention. Why the hell do you think he made me hang out so much on set when you did the second half of season 4?”

“You and Emily never…”

“No, nothing ever happened with Emily you know that. It was just me being a complete ass and trying to piss Jessie off.”

“It worked… You see what I’m talking about? This fucked up mess has not just been my fault. But if you want to blame it all on me, go ahead. I don’t care. You can hate me all you want, I don’t give a shit, I’ll just stay away from you.”

“I don’t fucking hate you, Jessie, don’t say that. I just don’t see why it should be any different this time around? Why would you just stop fucking everyone else?”

“Oh, screw you, Andy! I don’t fuck everyone else! There hasn’t been anyone else for the past 2 years! Since the summer of 2014 there’s no one else but him. Not even Sean… I know it won’t mean shit to you but I honestly don’t care.”

“Good.”

Her hand stopped halfway to her mouth with her third piece of toast when he looked back at her.

“Come again?”

“Well, I just think it’s a good thing you don’t give a shit what other people thinks, cause you’re going to get a lot of shit thrown at you when everyone figures out you’re his girlfriend.”

“Are you saying I can’t handle it?”

“Not at all, baby. I’m saying you’re the only one who could ever handle this, Jessie. Is he the one?”

“Fuck, Andy do you have to get so damn sentimental?”

“Just answer the fucking question, Jessie. I already know you’re the one for him but you’ve never really seemed like the “one guy for the rest of my life type” to me.”

“That’s because you’ve fucked me.”

“Yes, but also because I know I’m not the only one. It really hasn’t been anyone else for 2 years?”

“None…”

“Not even Sean? What’s the damn deal with Sean?”

“I like me Irish twins…We both know it’s not going to be easy and yes the past isn’t really in our favor but I’m going to try.”

“So there won’t be any more sleeping around?”

“For fuck’s sake, Andy I haven’t been sleeping around…! But, for the sake of argument, no there won’t be any more sleeping around.”

“No more sharing…?”

She popped her mouth open in surprise and stared at him. She began to stutter something she wasn’t even sure was words but Andy winked and grinned.

“I’m fucking messing with you, Jess, relax. It really was fucking amazing but it was a onetime thing.”

“Fuck you, Andy!”

“Sorry, babe.”     

“Are you done?”

Norman asked, from behind Jessie.

“I’m done.”

“Good. Can I say something then?”

Norman spoke and leaned forward to look at his best friend. Andy nodded.

“I know you’re saying all this cause you care and I’m really grateful that you do but it really is different this time. I’m not entire sure what it is and I don’t give a shit, I just know that it is so that’s what I’m going to focus on. Forget about all that fucked up things that has happened. I really don’t want you to stay away from each other, cause I love you both so you gotta try too, Andy. Look past all the messed up shit. Please.”

“Of course, man. Jessie?”

“What? You wanna kiss and make up all of a sudden?”

Jessie took a look at his outstretched hand and smirked at him.

“No fucking kissing, man!”

Norman protested at once but they could both hear the amusement in his voice. Jessie rolled her eyes at her boyfriend when she grabbed Andy’s hand. Just to annoy his friend, Andy kissed the top of Jessie’s hand.

“You know, you really should put a ring on her before she changes her mind, man.”

“What the hell is up with men and the fucking rush…? First Mingus, now you, damn, chill! It’s been a fucking month.”

She snapped and pulled her hand back quickly from Andy. She knew he really hadn’t meant for her to get upset but simply teas his friend but she had enough to deal with without having everyone around them rush things.

“Sorry, baby I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t, but I don’t need you to put some fucking ideas in his head.”

She turned and looked at Norman.

“Don’t get any ideas. I do not need a ring on my finger right now. I’m freaked out about all this already.”

“Calm down, baby. I ain’t proposing any time soon, I promise.”

“Good.”

“What did Mingus say?”

“I rather not talk about that right now.”

“Why not?”

“Cause it’s going to make you yell at me and I’ll probably yell right back. It’s not a 5-minute discussion, Norm.”

She told him when she saw a protest was about to come. He swallowed his words and simply nodded instead.

“Alright. So, when do we need to leave?”

“We’ll be good for another 2 hours or so. They will pick us up around 10.”

“Who’s they?”

“Who the hell knows…?”

“Well, if we really have another 2 hours, I could kill for a shower right now.”

Jessie rose from Norman’s lap and followed Andy’s direction at once when he told her to go upstairs and use the bathroom down the hall to the right. She collected new cloths on the way and made a quick tour of the upstairs landing before she found the bathroom. She didn’t bother locking the door, thinking and wishing Norman would join her soon enough. She stripped down and ended up in front of a huge floor to ceiling mirror. She noticed a red bit mark on the side of her right breast when she turned sideways. A fist size bruise was visible on her left hip as well. Apparently he had been a lot rougher then she had noticed. She turned on the water in the huge shower and stepped under the hot stream of water and closed her eyes as the it covered her from top to toe.

“I know this is going to sound fucked up after everything I just said but, damn man, I would really like to take her for a final ride.”

Norman had been helping him clean up after their breakfast when Andy spoke from the kitchen sink. He shut the fridge and looked at his friend. Andy looked right back at him.

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah. I know I shouldn’t ask but damn, dude she’s out of this fucking world. I would totally understand if you say not, and it’s fine, you really should say not but my dick won’t forgive me if I don’t ask.”

He deliberated for a while. It was Andy. His best friend. It was somehow easier when she was with someone he actually knew. Mostly because he knew it would never get past anything else then sex. Sean had a girlfriend and Andy was married, so there really wasn’t any competition. He knew he would be the one she woke up beside the next morning. And he did really love seeing her drive other men crazy but that was cause of selfish reasons. They could have her once or maybe twice, he could have her whenever he wanted and he knew that.

“She’s going to think it’s a test. That you’re really testing her loyalty to me if you suggest you’d fuck her.”

“I wasn’t planning on doing it alone, man. I assumed you would like to be part of it as well.”

“Oh… Yeah, of course I just thought that you might want to be alone….”

“No, no I could share… Well, it’s really you that would be sharing but you know what I mean. If she wants to of course.”

“Let’s find out, shall we?”

Andy didn’t have to be told twice and Norman grinned to himself when his friend darted up the stairs in a hurry. He was already in the bathroom, having left the door open when Norman walked up the stairs. He could hear Jessie singing to herself and he knew she would usually get pretty wrapped up in her own world when she took a shower, not noticing much around her. He had sneaked up on her on a number of occasions, scaring her half to death. Andy was waiting for him, but when he leaned to the doorway and nodded to him to go ahead, the Englishman quickly stripped down and quietly walked up behind her. He could see her freeze when the man behind her placed his hands on her hips. It gave him extreme satisfaction to know she had gotten so use to his touch that she knew without having to turn around, that he wasn’t the one that touched her.

“What the fuck are you doing, Andy?”

“How the hell did you know it wasn’t Norman?”

“Is this a fucking test?”

“No test, baby, just me being allowed to take you for a final ride. If you’re up to it of course.”

She turned her head but looked past Andy and found Norman in the doorway looking back at her. He let her know he was in on it if she was with a quick nod.

“Take your clothes off.”

Norman quickly followed her command as Andy pulled her hair to one side and leaned in to kiss the side of her neck. She winced slightly when his hand grazed her bruise.

“Sorry, baby… What’ve you done to her, man?”

Andy traced her hips lightly with his fingertips. Norman stepped into the shower and walked up to her side. She watched him with hungry eyes but he was glad that he could still see the love as well. She had jumped right in every time he had suggested they involved someone else in their games, but now she looked a bit concerned.

“Relax, love.”

He stepped up in front of her and grabbed her by her chin and caught her lips.

“I know you want this.”

“Only if you want this.”

“One last ride, baby.”

He smiled against her lips and it made her smile back, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard and passionate. Behind her, Andy began to ran his hands all over her curvaceous body. He decided to multitask and squeezed soap into both hands before starting to really work her over. He got really distracted when his hands landed on her ass though. He ran his hands all over it but couldn’t stop himself from running one finger down her crack and forward towards her pussy.

“Shit, Andy…!”

Jessie hissed into Norman’s mouth and she heard him giggle slightly before pulling away from the make out session. He looked down just in time to see Andy slip two fingers inside her from behind. She leaned against him and cursed as Andy began to move those fingers hard in and out of her. Norman decided to help out and reached down and pulled one of her legs up and opened her up for Andy.

“Fuck, Jessie, you’re gorgeous, baby. I wanna taste you, honey. Can I taste your pussy? I never got the chance last time.”

“Yes!”

The word came out as a breath and she balanced herself on Norman’s shoulder with one hand and wrapped the other one around his erection. He let out a surprised yelp and stared at her. She smirked back at him.

“Glad to see I can still surprise you, baby.”

“You’ll never stop surprising me, Jess. I love you, baby.”

“I love you t….! Fuck!”

She tried to bit back the cry but when Andy’s fingers made contact with her g-spot and he caressed his fingers all over her insides, all while his tongue danced over her clit, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was Norman’s turn to smirk at his lover.

“Seems like Andy knows what he’s doing, huh baby girl?”

She buried her face in his shoulder and bit down on his collarbone hard enough to leave marks on him. He was used to it and welcome the mixture of pain and pleasure that filled him seeing Jessie lose control. Andy didn’t have to work long to make her cum and once she did, her hand clamped down around her boyfriend’s dick so hard he actually cursed. She giggled in between the gasps for air.

“Sorry, baby.”

“You’re one evil little bitch, J. I might actually have you pay for that.”

Andy rose behind her, kissing his way up her body. She felt him grace her son’s footprints at her lower back with light fingers just as Norman let go of her leg and she tried to stay upright. She shook slightly as she gently put her weight back on both feet.

“Get down on your knees.”

It was rare for him to be so dominating but once he was, she knew there would be no room for argument. And she secretly loved when he took charged once in a while. Andy had reached her neck and was tracing the tiger with his tongue when she suddenly wrapped one hand around his rock solid cock. He hissed through his teeth as she dropped to her knees in between both men and she looked back up at them.

“Go ahead, baby.”

When Norman spoke his approval to her she leaned forward and her tongue licked the top of Andy’s dick first, while her hand pumped her boyfriend’s dick. She concentrated on their host for a while and although Norman actually enjoyed watching her blow his friend, he felt a bit left out after a while. He let her know by grabbing hold of her hair and gave one hard tug. She whined quietly but knew what he wanted. She allowed Andy to slip from her mouth and it made the Englishman look back down at her.

“Fuck me, Andy.”

“With pleasure, love.”

Norman took a seat on the stone bench that was placed against one of the walls and waited for her. She thanked her 30 years of practicing every known type of dance, as she with ease was able to bend down over Norman, while standing with one foot on the wet floor and one beside her lover on the bench and suck the tip of his longing dick into her mouth. Behind her Andy guided himself inside her. All three of them moaned out loud at the same time and Jessie pushed back against Andy, making him slip all the way inside her, at the same time as she swallowed Norman as much as she possible could.

“Holly shit, baby.”

Norman pulled her hair back from her face and held it back so better to be able to look at her. She swiveled her tongue all around him while working his base and balls with both hands. He grabbed her head tightly after a while and guided her fast all around him. She gagged a little when he deep throated her but he never stopped, knowing full well she was able to handle it.

“Payback time, bitch.”

“Ain’t much of a payback, man when she loves it so much.”

Andy spoke, putting a smug smile on Norman’s face.

“Yeah, I know. Do you want to swap?”

“Fuck yeah.”    

“Baby, take a seat will you?”

Norman grabbed her arm and pulled her up into his arms as he rose with her. She wrapped herself around him and kissed him hard. He placed her in his abandoned seat and lifted one leg to his own shoulder before dropping to his knees.

“That’s quite something you there, girl. Haven’t see that one before.”

“Honestly, Andy you wanna admire my new tattoo right now?”

Andy grabbed her ankle and kissed the ink.

“Just saying you’ve always been over your head in love with him, Jessie. Glad you finally realized it yourself.”

She tore her eyes away from him when she felt Norman begin to work his magic on her. She dropped her gaze to the gorgeous man between her legs and grabbed his hair tightly with both hands. She felt Andy’s hand under her chin and he lifted her head. She had expected him to guide her toward his dick, but she meat his lips and he kissed her quick and lightly.

“Sorry, love, I just had to… Now, baby wrap those lips around me.”

She smiled before grabbing hold of his leaking erection and sucked hard at the tip, making him curse her name.

“Shit, Jessie you’re so fucking good.”

Andy had already worked her up right at the edge and when Norman finally put his fingers inside her, she came screaming his name. Her juices gushed out of her but he didn’t stop. He moved his fingers to her ass, stretching her out for his next move. She sucked Andy so hard and fast, the man panted and tried his hardest to hold his orgasm at by a little longer.

“Hey, babe. Slow down, don’t make him cum just yet. We’re not done yet.”

Jessie looked up at Andy first and then down at her boyfriend. She did as she was told and slowed her phase on him. She used her hand on him and the other landed on Norman’s face while he carefully fucked her ass.

“What you wanna do, Norm?”

“We’re going to fuck you. Both of us at the same time.”

His words made her moan and he noticed how much she really wanted it. He had planned on stretching her a bit more, make it easier for her, but she wouldn’t let him. Andy needed her guidance when she rose. He didn’t seem to really know what to do.

“Relax, Andy. You just sit down and enjoy the ride.”

Jessie told him and faced away from him when he made himself ready. He was faced with Jessie’s gorgeous back and he reaching out and grab her ass in both hands and squeeze her cheeks. She had caught Norman’s lips the moment they came face to face with each other. She moaned when she could taste herself on his lips. While still making out, he took her by the hips and pushed her down to Andy’s lap. Andy watched in absolute amazing as her ass wrapped itself around him with ease. She was completely held up by Norman who had a tight grip around her waist as she slowly sank down around his dick. Once he was buried all the way inside her, Norman made his move and pushed himself inside her soaking pussy. As Andy grab hold of her waist to, just above Norman’s hands, he could feel her stop breathing.

“Shit, shit, shit…!”

They started to move at the same time. Andy gently pushed his hips upward slightly at the same time as Norman trusted hard from his angle. They helped her keep upright and balanced as they pounded her holes. Andy wasn’t going to last long. Her ass was so tight around him and seeing Norman fuck her wet pussy made him crazy horny. When he felt Jessie fall over the edge and clamp down on her insides, they screamed their realize together.

”Fuck, Jess you’re tight. I’m coming, baby! Shit...!”

“Yes, God dammit, Andy!”

Norman stopped while his friend climaxed inside her.

“I want a piece of that ass too, baby.”

It took her a few seconds to reacted to Norman’s words. He was still inside her when she finally focused on him again. He smiled at her and pulled away her messy hair from her face and gently kissed her lips.

“Turn around, babe.”

Carefully he let go of her legs and she shook slightly at first. She turned around and was faced with Andy. He was still breathing hard and seemed to really still be enjoying his climax. His eyes were closed and he had a small smile on his lips and it made her smile too knowing she was the reason for him being high. She placed herself with her hands steady on either side of his body as she felt Norman kick her legs apart. He moaned when he saw her open up in front of him and he ran one hand over her ass before smacking her hard. She whimpered quietly but it only made him smack the other check even harder.

“Fuck…! Will you just fuck me already?!”

“Easy, baby girl. Let me look at your beautiful ass first.”

He spread her checks and saw traces of what Andy had left behind.

“Andy really filled you up good, baby.”

“Why don’t you do the same, babe? Please?”

“I’m still not use to this begging, J, but I’m really starting to enjoy it.”

He smirked to himself before helping himself inside her with one hand while the other grabbed her hip hard. He chose the unbruised side, though he was feeling rather bad about marking her like that. He worked her with long and slow thrusts but it didn’t take him long to feel the need to speed up.

“Come on, baby. Harder. Please, Norman harder.”

He moved her hands and grabbed hold of her breasts as he bent over her and began to slam inside her.

“Shit, baby. So fucking tight, Jess.”

“Hey, baby girl.”

Andy opened his eyes and came face to face with her. He grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her check.

“Hey, Andy.”

“You’re so God damn beautiful, Jessie.”

“How the hell did you go from hating me, to fucking me and now actually making me fucking blush in less than an hour?”

“I’ve many talents, love.”

He leaned in closer to her and she cried out his name when he out of nowhere put one hand on her pussy and began to tug at her swollen clit.

“Shit, Andy…! Oh my God, don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

She begged and he rewarded her with helping her out with his other hand as well and he slipped 2 long fingers inside her. Feeling Norman pound her ass from behind and having Andy stimulating her pussy made her see stars. She could feel her realize building but she wanted him to go over with her.

“I’m so fucking close, baby. Please, Norm come with me.”

It was all he needed to hear from her to finally let go of the last little bit of control he still possessed. They crossed over the edge to their own little nirvana together and she cried out both lover’s names.

“Thanks for the ride, dude.”

Norman was only vaguely aware of Andy speaking before exiting the shower. He had pulled her up into his arms as they tried to recover from their climax together. She wrapped one arm around him and grabbed the back of his head. He took a step back and she followed and they ended up right under the still hot stream of water. It took them a good couple of minutes to actually open their eyes and actually start to move. She turned first, letting go of his hair and spun around in his arms. She cleaned him up; giving him a scalp massage as she shampooed his hair. He moaned when she gently cleaned his genitals. He returned the favor once she was done with him. He took his time on her breasts, even taking them into his mouth and suck gently. He had always loved her boobs and that morning was no exception, but he felt they hadn’t gotten quite the right attention.

“I love you, baby.”

He kissed his way up her body and ended up by her lips when he finally spoke to her and she kissed him back.

“And I love you. Thank you for this, it was amazing but this is it.”

“Yes, no more sharing. Besides maybe Sean.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Thank you for saying it though.”

“What?”

“I’m glad you don’t feel the need to share anymore either.”

“I’ve never needed anyone else besides you for 10 years, Norman, you know that. Everyone else has just been a slightly less capable bonus.”

“Or a way to piss me off.”

“Yeah, that too.”

She said and giggled a little.

“We should get ready.”

 

**Chapter seven – Secrets**

She had been on a few other Comic Cons with him through the years but every time she was just as amazed by all the fans and the craziness. London however was one shade crazier then what she had experienced before. She had gotten an all access pass from however picked them up by Andy’s. She had never really bothered to remember their names or their titles because there would always be someone new the next time around. If the people in the car riding with them would have known the three of them had just fucked the hell out of each other only minutes before, it would have been an extremely weird journey to the capital. Instead she was rather impressed by all of them that it wasn’t weird at all. Norman was picking on Andy and pissing him off just as he always did and Andy ignored her as he used to. She dozed off against Norman’s shoulder sometime during the ride. The jet leg had really started to kick in and she protested a little when Norman nudge her awake after a too short of a nap for her liking.

“Time to move, sweetie.”

“I don’t wanna…”

She mumbled, still not opening her eyes. He chuckled and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

“You know Sean’s waiting for you.”

He whispered and she snapped open her eyes at once, beaming at him. She had almost forgot that Sean was going to be there. She had really missed him. They had parked in an underground garage and seeing the size of their entourage still surprised her when a good dozen people meet up with them under the venue. He offered her his hand as she stepped out of the car after him. To his utter astonishment, she never let him go when they began to move with the crowed all around them. It was one thing to hold hands in front of Andy but in front of total strangers, this was a first and he felt silly happy about it, squeezed her hand and beamed at her. She shook her head back at him but couldn’t help the smile that started to spread over her lips as well. He looked like a kid at Christmas morning.

The elevator was big enough to fit in all 20 + people. They ended up at the very back with Andy and since everyone else were so busy talking to each other, she took the opportunity to kiss him. Elevator had always had that effect on her for some reason.

“I think I liked it better when you guys weren’t dating. This is getting gross, man.”

Still kissing him, Jessie flipped off the Englishman, making both men crack up. She could feel more than one pair of eyes following her as they exit the lift but she ignored the somewhat hostile glances from some of the female crew members.    

“I’ll call you when I’m done, ok?”

“Sure, sounds good.”

“What’re you up to, Jess? Won’t you get bored just waiting…?”

“You’re kidding, right? I love this, Andy, I’ll keep myself busy, don’t worry. Sean’s here too, you know.”

She couldn’t help the teasing words that came out of her mouth. Andy gaped at her with his mouth wide open but Norman laughed out loud, probably both by her words but also because of Andy’s reaction.

“She’s kidding, right? Norman, she’s kidding me, right?!”

“Bye, baby. Have fun, Andy.”

“Jessie! Come on!”

Andy begged as she turned to walk away from the crew. Andy still looked shocked and maybe even angry but Norman just placed a hand on his friend shoulder and smiled. 

“Damn it, Andrew. Chill, will ya? I’ll miss you, babe!”

He called after her. She turned and blew him a kiss before vanishing through a set of double doors. The venue was already packed as it was almost 2 hours after opening. She really did love going to this events with him. She was after all a hard-core fan of the show and the world around it as well and she found it fascinating to talk to other fans and although her all access pass meant she really didn’t have to wait in line for anything, she was glad to spent some of her time there. It was there she got to strike up all kinds of different conversations with fans just as enthusiastic as her. She had to watch out though so not to spoil anything. It was hard sometime not to let her mouth wander once she got talking. She had been on set for pretty much the entire season six and she had to remind herself that these fans actually hadn’t seen the whole season yet. When afternoon came and her feet were aching like a bitch by all the walking, she finally decided to drop by Sean. The crowed was beginning to thin out and the queue to Sean was short. She could spot Norman’s table at the other end of the balcony and he was still quite busy. She had had a soft spot for Sean since the first time they met and through the years or knowing him now she had started to view him more like a big brother. It was weird cause she would still climb in like a tree in the right, or wrong whatever way you chose to look at it, circumnutates.  He noticed her when he thanks yet another fan and watched her leave, but when he turned to the queue to see whoever was next he rushed up from his seat and around the table. Jessie beamed over at him as they began to move towards each other as the same time. His signature move had been to spin her around in a tight hug from the very first time they met and he did so also this time.

“About time, baby! I thought you’d never come.”

“Not gonna pass on a chance to see you, you know that. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, hon. How’ve you been?”

“Great, I’ve been great. How are you?”

“Awesome! Could you stick around like 10 minutes? I’m wrapping this up and we could grab a cup of coffee or something?”

“Sounds good.”

“Great, cause you gotta fill me on what’s going on with you and Norm, baby. Got this weird text last week.”

“Don’t worry, Sean I will fill you in on all the dirty details.”

“That’s my girl. So good to see you again, Jess.”

He smiled and kissed the top of her head before going back to business and she walked over to the side of his space and tried to keep herself in the background. A text from Norman was waiting for her when she picked up her phone.

_I see you_

She looked up but the crowed around her lovers table was too big for her to make him out.

_Good_

_Say hi to Sean_

_I will_

_Miss u_

_Miss u 2. We’re gonna grab a coffee once he’s done here._

_Great. I’ll be here for at least another hour._

_Ok. Are you having fun?_

_Awesome! Wish you were here though._

_Would kinda blow our cover babe_

_Why?_

_Cause I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you._

_Then get your ass over here babe!_

_Be careful what you wish for_

_Never!_

She smirked at the phone and a plan formed in her head right away. She moved quickly, catching Sean’s eye and mouthed an “I’ll be back” to him before she made her way through the crowed. She had been to too many events like this to know what she really needed to bring to make it through an entire day. The good thing about always being granted an all access pass was that she was never questioned when bringing her own water bottles or snacks. And she had learned to always carry snacks around when traveling with Norman. He could be such a guy at times and get really cranky when his blood sugar dropped. She managed to catch a volunteer’s eye just behind the table but she never had to force herself on the pore girl. She wasn’t sure how he noticed her, because he was all wrapped up in signing, but the girl was leaning in to him when he spoke and she quickly turned and headed straight for Jessie.

“Jessie?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She followed the volunteer and sneaked behind the table. He lifted his head and looked at her from the corner of his eye and she saw him smile as he finished talking to the fan in line. They actually stopped the line for about a minute and he got up and stretched and walked up to her. She was holding his favorite chocolate bar and a water bottle in her hands and gave it to him.

“You read my mind.”

“Yeah I figured you’d be running low on energy.”

“Where’re you going with Sean?”

He devoured the chocolate quickly.

“I’ll be close by. Just text me when you’re done here.”

“Sure. Thanks, babe.”

He leaned in and kissed her check. She grabbed his hand real quick and slipped him a hasty scribbled note at the back of a recite.

_I loved you first._

_Right now._

_Tomorrow._

_And until the walkers take over._

_Then we’ll fly to the moon._

He read the note under the table, away from preying eyes and it was a good thing he was wearing his sunglasses because he could feel himself tear up. She really was trying to show him much he meant to her. When he looked up she was already vanishing through the crowed and he pocketed the note before going back to work.

There was a coffee shop across the street where they ended up half an hour later. She headed straight for the furthest table away from everyone else in the crowded shop while he ordered. She was flipping through her photos of the day when he appeared with coffee and her favorite; pecan pie.

“Thank you. I really need some sugar right now.”

“Yeah figured Norm ate must of your snacks as usual, right?”

“Yup. How are you?”

“I’m good, really good. You look tired though, babe. Everything alright?”

“It’s fine. A lot has happened lately though. Have you talked to Norman?”

“We texted a little when he was in LA but since I wasn’t home at the time we never got the chance to meet up.”

“We’re trying again.”

“Yeah I figured it had to be something like that. How’s it been?”

“It’s different this time.”

“Why?”

“Cause he was going to leave. I mean really, really leave if I didn’t pull my shit together.”

“Her would never leave you, Jessie.”

“Yeah I think he would actually. I’ve never believed him before either but it was different this time.”

Jessie took her time to retell him everything that had happened on the cruise and the days after. Sean listen attentively without interrupting her.

“So it’s really serious? You’re really dating?”

“Yeah.”

She couldn’t say it without cracking up in a smile and it was what it really was all about. He made her happy just by talking about him.

“Say it.”

“Say what...? Oh, that. Norman and I are really dating. He’s my boyfriend. I’ve a boyfriend.”

It was the first time she had actually said the words out loud to someone else.

“Congratulations. It’s about time, girl. You deserve to be happy too.”

”Thank you. It’s just weird. He’s been in my life since… forever it seems. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

“It’s what it’s all about, baby. I know for a fact he feels the same. He has for years.”

“Yeah I know. It’s just hard to get use to the idea of us dating which is weird cause I can’t remember my life without him anymore. It’s just fucked up.”

“It wouldn’t really be you if it wasn’t fucked up, Jess.”

“No its guess that’s true. I think we need the drama too. “

“Ether way there won’t be a way around it. You’re two very passionate people. I mean I’ve never seen two people hate each other so much and at the same love each just as much. There’s no average with you guys. And it really doesn’t help that you’re both extremely stubborn with short fuses.”

 “I never hated him, not really it was just easier to pretend to hate him instead of letting him know what I really felt for him.”

“He always knew you loved him. The first time I saw you guys together I knew you were the one he had been telling me about.”

“What did he tell you back then?”

“He would just boost about his sex life with, well with you, back then but I knew it was something more than that. He never told me about all those times you tried to make it work for real, before I met you I mean. After that I forced every detail out of him of course.”

“Of course you did. And he told you.”

“He sure did, babe. I’ve known him long enough to know when he’s serious about someone, Jess. Trust me, baby it’s never been someone like you since Helena. He loves you more then you probably know and you have to let him.”

“I’m trying.”

“Good. I’m happy for you, baby girl. You deserve this, you know you  do.”

“I still feel guilty sometime.”

“You always will, but Norman knows that. He knows you inside out, Jessie.”

“Yeah… There’s one thing though.”

She dropped her gaze from the man sitting opposite him when she spoke. He got so alarmed by the worry in her voice that he reached out and grabbed both of her hands in his.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Where’re you staying? A hotel?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Is it close?”

“About 10 minutes away.”

“Could we go?”

“Jess…”

“I can’t talk to you about it here. Too many potential eavesdroppers.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

He hauled a cab the moment they stepped outside the coffee shop. The ride to his hotel was quite but she received a text from Norman on their way there.

_How’s your coffee?_

_Great. How’s the signing going?_

_Wrapping up in like half an hour. Call you when I’m done._

_Don’t get any ideas but I’m going with Sean back to his hotel_

_Why?_

_Find somewhere more private to talk_

_Talk my ass…_

_Come on babe don’t be mad. Love you._

She knew she had managed to really piss him off when he never replayed to her last text, but she chose to ignore his anger this time around. Sean was one of her best friends and the one she knew she could turn to for advice.

She began to pace the hotel floor the moment they stepped inside his room. He took a seat on the couch and waited for her. He knew there was no point in pushing her. She would tell him when she was ready. When she began to speak she had ended up by the window, her back towards him.

_March 2010 – New York._

_After visiting L.A together they had stuck it out for another 2 weeks together. But come March she found herself longing for some alone time. It had for once not been a dramatic breakup or whatever it was that they did, but they had simply decided to take a break from each other. She had moved back to her apartment and tried to focus on her writing. It began with weird dreams at night. She had trouble sleeping through the entire night because of the dreams. They really weren’t nightmares, just weird. Then came the puking. She had been sick every morning for the first 2 months with Jacob. She never really needed the test to know that she was pregnant but seeing the plus sign on that stick made it so final. She had somehow gotten pregnant despite using birth control pills. Her mind went completely blank and she ended up sitting on the bathroom floor for hours. A million thoughts went through her head. She hadn’t been with anyone else but Norman for the past month. And Sean. She had been with Norman and Sean. Both men’s faces faded in and out of her thoughts as she walked around in a state of absolute shock and confusion for about a week. She stayed shut up in her apartment for days before finally making the decision to get in contact with the first abortion clinic she could find._

_“What’s your name, sweetie?”_

_She could hear the woman in front of her talk but it was like she had her head under water. It felt like she was far away but as the Asian woman in green scrubs leaned in and touched her arm, Jessie began to find her focus again. She hadn’t been touched by another human being for weeks. She was sitting on an exam table but she wasn’t really sure how she had gotten there._

_“It’s Jessie isn’t it? My colleague that talked to you this morning said you wanted to take care of this as soon as possible. Are you alright, honey?”_

_“No…”_

_Her voice was hoarse from lack of use and she had to clear her throat before trying again._

_“No, I just want to get this over with.”_

_“Why don’t you lay down, sweetheart and I will examine you first. I need to see how far along you are before we can decide what to do. Ok?”_

_Jessie nodded and laid back down. She never looked at the machine standing next to her. She didn’t want to see the grey little bulb that one day could’ve turned out to be a baby. A little brother or sister to Jacob. She just wanted it to be gone so that she could move on with her life. So she could back to hating and loving Norman the way she hated and loved herself for putting herself through this._

_“You’re 7 weeks pregnant.”_

_7 weeks. What day was it today? She searched the room for a calendar but she couldn’t find one. The woman seemed to understand what she was looking for though._

_“It’s the 20 th of March today, honey. You got pregnant by the end of January, early February. Do you know who the father is?” _

_“Norman… It’s Norman’s.”_

_“Are you currently dating?”_

_“No. He’s… No, we’re not dating. Not right now.”_

_“Do you want to call him?”_

_“No.”_

_“Most women like a loved one to be…”_

_“I don’t have anyone. I really just need you to tell me what I need to do to end this pregnancy as soon as possible.”_

_“We could admit you right away if you like.”_

_“Yes, please.”_

_“I’ve to ask you a few more times, but are you sure you want to end this pregnancy?”_

_“Yes. I can’t have another baby.”_

_“Do you have children already?”_

_“He died 9 years ago. I can’t have another one.”_

_“I understand.”_

_“Just make it go away. Now.”_

_The tears came the moment she closed the door to her apartment the very same afternoon. She hadn’t shaded a tear before, but she finally broke down and cried herself to sleep on the hallway carpet._

“Why are you telling me this?”

He had risen from the couch the moment he understood what she was telling him and moved closer to her for each word she spoke to him. She had kept her back detrimentally turned to him but when he saw her shoulder shake slightly, he couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around her from behind and hug her tightly. She spun around the second she felt his hands on her. She spun around so fast she almost lost her balance but he was there to catch her and he held her while she sobbed into his chest.

“Is this the first time you ever told anyone? Noman doesn’t know?”

“No. No one knows.”

“Why? Why, Jessie? Why are you telling me this now? You’ve to talk to Norman about this.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Why?”

“Cause he wants another kid. Well, did want another kid back then. I haven’t really thought about it that much since it happened, I just decided to focus on him and then Daryl Dixon happened and everything just… Happened so fast.”

“Then why the hell are you telling me this now, baby?”

“Cause Mingus wants a little brother or sister.”

“He said that?”

“Yeah, right after we got back from the Vegas and it all just came crashing back again. He could’ve had a baby brother or sister by now. I could’ve had a kid.”

“With Norman…? Right?”

“Yeah, it was Norman’s. I never told him because I know he would want me to keep it, that we could make it work but…”

“He would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do, Jess.”

“Of course not, I know that. He would say he’d support me whatever I decided to do but I would always know he would’ve liked me to keep it. He would’ve wanted to start a family. And I couldn’t handle that back then. I wasn’t even sure I loved him enough back then.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me this, but you really should talk to Norman, baby.”

“I figured I could try you first and maybe you could actually give me some advice. I’m terrified of telling him, Sean.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Jess…”

“Yes please.”

“He’s going to get pissed. So fucking pissed, Jessie. You know this and I get that you’re scared, honey but you also know he has already figure out something is going on. I mean if this has been on your mind for the past month, he sure has noticed it. He has even asked hasn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“Why did you chose to not keep it? You really don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but you have to have an answer to that for him cause he will demand an answer.”

“I know. There’s just never enough time.”

“You will have to make time for this, Jess.”

“He’s going to be airborne for pretty much 2 straight months, flying all over the place and I can’t just throw this shit at him. I love what we have right now, I really do and I know it’s selfish not wanting it to change but at the same time it’s fucking eating me up to keep this from him. It never has before but what Mingus said just… I love that kid to death.”

She heard her phone buzz but she ignored it. As she pulled away from his embrace, she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt. He grabbed her face and kissed her lips quickly.

“It’ll be alright, baby. This is what it’s like to really love someone, you hate lying to him and you’re afraid that you will hurt him.”

“Yeah… I’ve never really cared that I hurt him before but this… It’s fucking killing me, Sean cause I don’t know what he’s going to do. What if he leaves me because of this? Cause I’ve been lying to him.”

“He’s going to get really mad, J, you know that. Probably worse than he’s ever been, but that’s because he loves you so much. You just have to explain it all to him, probably over and over again before he gets it but just make sure he knows why you did what you did.”

“Ok. Thank you, Sean… You better take that, it’s probably Norman.”

When Sean picked up his phone from his jeans it was indeed Norman’s number on display and he answered the phone.

“Hey, man.”

“Where is she?”

Sean wasn’t use to his friend being so short and harsh with him and he recoiled a little. Jessie held out her hand to him when she heard the anger in Norman’s voice. 

“She’s here.”

He put her on speaker.

“Don’t be mad, babe I’m right here.”

“Don’t get yourself worked up, man. We’ve just been talking.”

“Fuck you, Sean!”

“Come on, Norman. I had to hear it from her too about what’s been going on the past couple of months.”

“Where’re you, baby? Are you done?”

“What? I’m enough for you all of a sudden?!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up! Don’t be such a fucking asshole! Just because I’m your girlfriend doesn’t mean I’m going to stop having friends that I want to spent time with!”

The line fell silent for about 5 seconds and Sean kept staring at her while she angrily glared at phone, somehow hoping her anger would transfer all the way through to wherever he was. How she could go from being so completely devastated and worried to actually yelling and lecturing her lover, was amazing for him to watch and he could feel his mouth fall open slightly.

“Sorry… Sorry, dude.”

“Don’t worry about it, Norm.”

“Do you wanna come with us for dinner?”

“Who’s us?”

“I’m not sure, bunch of people.”

“Sure, sounds fun.”

“Are you picking us up?”

“I’m outside the damn door, baby.”

“Thanks for trusting me so much…”

“It’s him I don’t trust.”

Sean opened the door and Norman was standing right outside the door with the phone still in his hand.

“Fuck you, Norman!”

Sean spoke with a grin on his face as both men pocked their phones at the same time. They shared a tight hug before they stepped back inside the room. She was standing in the middle of the room when he finally laid his eyes on him. The moment their eyes met he rushed up to her and grabbed her face between both hands.

“Hey, what’s wrong, baby?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve been crying.”

She cursed him internal for being so damn observant about her.

“Sean has been digging deep in my sentimental register for the past hour. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

She felt Sean look at her but she kept her eyes on the man only inches from her and she nodded her head.

“You know I don’t believe you.”

“I know, but I also know you’re going to let it slip for now cause you’re too damn jetlagged and hungry to argue with me.”

She said, smirking and wrapping her arms around his neck.

“True… I love you.”

“I love you too.”   


	8. Everything

He was just constantly going, going, going and he was so tired he could puke some nights but this was what his life looked like at the moment. They had done another 4 episodes of _Ride_ and she had been there through it all. North Carolina, Texas, Florida and New Orleans. Then there was promo for _Sky_ and always something relating to _Walking Dead_ going on. He felt guilty about not spending enough time with her alone. There were always people around when they were together. And he felt guilty about not spending enough time with Mingus as well. He had only seen his son a day or two at the time the past months and he hated it. And he knew something was up with Jessie but he never wanted to bring it up because he was afraid about what her answer was going to be. He loved what they had at the moment, traveling together and just be able to be together despite the craziness going on. At the end of the day they always went to sleep together and woke up next to each other and it was the best feeling in the world.       

She was asleep leaning to his shoulder on yet another flight but this time they were finally going home. It was the last week of March and he had nothing in his calendar for 9 full days. The first day back home they just sleepy though, none of them able to gather enough energy to even make it out of bed for almost 18 hours straight.

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

It was late afternoon when he finally found himself sitting on the edge of the bed and she had just exited the bathroom after taking a shower.

“Yeah, you’re really old...I might have to find someone younger soon.”

He snapped his head around and glared at her when she spoke. His glare turned into a stare when she stood completely naked by the foot of the bed.

“What?”

She threw a bottle of lotion down next to him before beginning to work her hands over her slender legs.

“You need any help with that, babe?”

Without answering him, she walked over to stand in front of him instead. He admired her from top to toe for a minute and she followed his gaze. When he finally put his hands on her and began to work the lotion over her shoulders and chest she closed her eyes. They hadn’t taken their time for this kind of foreplay for a very long time. It had mostly just been straight to the point. Her nipples hardened under his touch as he ran his hands over her breasts. A soft moan escaped her as his mouth made contact with her sensitive skin and he graced her nipple with the top of his tongue.

“Please, baby. I need this so much…”

She grabbed him by the hair and forced his mouth away from her breasts to her mouth. She lost track of how long they made out, she just knew she needed it more than anything at that moment. She needed to feel his entire weight over her when he pulled her down in the bed and crawled on top of her. She needed his hands all over her body, touching every inch of her. And she needed to feel his skin under her hands. She was still getting use to making love to him but as he slipped inside her it was so carefully and slow they both stopped breathing at the same time. She clung to his back as they started to move together. It never once got too rough or hard, it was simply the most beautiful love making she had ever experienced with him. Their bodies were so in sync with each other that they finally fell over the edge together, kissing each other deeper and harder as they did.

                                   

_Are you dating Norman Reedus????_

She received a text from Maya as they sat cuddled up in the couch that very same evening and eating pizza straight for the box. There was an attached hyperlink from _People Magazine._ When she clicked it, it brought her straight to a full blown paparazzi photo slideshow of the pair of them leaving Newark airport the night before, holding hands and kissing while waiting for their cab.

“Fuck…!”

She sat straight up as she flipped through the pictures.

“What?”

As an answer to his question she threw him her phone and he browsed through the pictures as well. He felt strangely relived when he saw the photos. They had worked so hard not to be noticed by the press the last couple of months but maybe now they could finally stop hiding. He would never be comfortable sharing his private life with the rest of the world but he really did hate not being able to kiss her whenever he liked. He had thought it would be easy and she had really helped by respecting his wishes to keep their private life private but when he watched the pictures, he simply shrugged and gave the phone back to her.

“I’m surprised it took this long.”

“Ok…?”

She said in a slightly surprised and confused voice. He turned and smiled at her before leaning in and kissed her parted lips.

“So you’re ok with this?”

“It’s not like I can take it back anyway… Want to make it official?”

“Seriously?”

She watched the phone in his hands, already ready for a selfie.

“Are you seriously going to post a lovey-dovey picture? That would be the first.”

“Well, you’ve made me sentimental, babe.”

“There’s something I need to talk to you about before you decided to make anything public.”

“Ok. What’s going on? Are you finally going to tell me what’s been going on the last couple of weeks?”

She sat up and paused the movie they were watching.

“It’s really that serious?”

He asked.

“Yeah, it really is that serious… Remember Mingus and I spent some alone time together right after we decided to try to make this work?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well, he said something that… stirred up a lot of old crap and it’s been nagging me ever since. There’s something you don’t know about me. Do me a favor and just listen until I’m done, ok? You’ll get to yell at me once I’m done, but I’ve to explain it all before you get to do the yelling.”

“Ok… You’re scaring me here, Jess.”

“Yeah, I know… Mingus asked me if we were planning on have a kid, he said he really would like have a baby brother or sister and since Helena is older than I am I guess he figured that maybe we… talked about it.”

She could tell he wanted to speak but he bit his tongue and did as she asked and remained quiet. She had tried to make up the right words in her head for days now, but finally realized that there were no right or wrong in doing this. She just had to tell him.

“The thing is that he could’ve had a brother a sister 6 years ago. I got pregnant in the beginning of 2010. You got me pregnant back in January of 2010. We were on a break, you know it was right after I met Sean for the first time and we just decided to take a break for a while. I was about 7 weeks when I figured out what was going on. I got really sick in the mornings and had such weirds dreams at night. The same things as with Jacob and I… I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t remember much of that week but it was the worst fucking days of my life. I know you’re going to get pissed that I didn’t tell you and I know I probably should’ve but I was so wrapped up in myself and what I had to do that I just couldn’t deal with involving you too. All I could think about what Jacob. Every fucking second of his life went through my mind and I couldn’t imagine that it could be like that again. I was so fucking scared of having another kid, I mean all I could see was Jacob. No one could ever take his place, it would just be a paler, less loved copy of a dead boy. I just didn’t think I had that kind of love in me. Any child deserves unconditional love from its mother and I didn’t believe I could give that because of what happened to Jacob. So I had an abortion 6 days after I found out I was pregnant. I haven’t regretting making that decision but I do regret not letting you in. I know it’s not going to be of any help but whatever you would’ve told me back then if I had let you in… It wouldn’t have mattered. I know it’s fucked up to say it but nothing you would’ve said could’ve made me change my mind. I can’t have another baby. Not then, not now. I had my baby, I had my perfect baby boy and there’s just nothing that could make up for losing him. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you and I know there’s nothing that I can say that can make it up to you for lying about this but I’m really sorry, Norman….”

She finally trailed off and she dropped her gaze from him. His hand had been on her thigh as she began to spoke, but sometime during her explanation he had removed it. She could feel him staring at her and she just waited for him to explode. When he finally did, he rose from the couch and began pacing the floor in between the TV and couch.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Are you out of your fucking mind?! 6 fucking years without telling me?! You’re one fucking piece you shit, you know that?! Fuck, Jessie! How the hell could you keep this from me?! I could’ve been there! I could’ve helped! Give me one fucking reason why you never told me!”

“Cause I knew you wouldn’t want me to get rid of it. You wanted a family back then and I knew I could never give you that. I know you would’ve made the most wonderful and loving father ever but I would never be able to love that kid enough.”

“That’s a load of bullshit, Jessie! You would make an amazing mom. We could’ve figure it out together.”

“That’s exactly why I never told you. I didn’t want to figure it out, Norman. I would never be enough and it wouldn’t have been fare to the baby. Don’t you see that? I couldn’t go through with it back then.”

”Is this what you told Sean back in London?”

”Yes but…”

”Oh your fucking bitch! You turn to him before you tell me?!”

”Please, Norman it wasn’t about that. I told Sean cause I needed advice on how to tell you. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“What about now?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if you got pregnant now. Would you still do the same? Would you get rid of it this time around?”

“I’m not going to get pregnant.”

“Just answer the fucking question, Jessie! If you got knocked up tomorrow would you tell me?!”

“Yes.”

“But you still wouldn’t fucking care what I wanted, would you?!”

“I don’t know….”

Her voice was so small he had to strain his ears to hear her. She looked tiny where she sat on the couch but he couldn’t feel sorry for her at that moment.

“Go to fucking hell, bitch!”

The front door slammed so hard the windows shattered and she broke down in tears the moment he was gone.

 

He walked the streets of Manhattan for hours that night trying to process what she had told him. She had gotten pregnant. With him. He had knocked her up. He tried to remember what she had been like back then. What they had been like. They had been nowhere near as close as they were now. It had still been mostly about the sex back then, even for him. But he had loved her. But a kid back then? With her? He knew he had been talking about having another child but back then he knew that they would have ended up going their separate ways if she had followed through with the pregnancy. He knew deep down that she could never have another kid and although he thought it was unfair, he knew her too well and understood why. It didn’t mean he still didn’t think she could make an awesome mom because she would be. But for how long? He had probably ended up a single parent again and that really wasn’t what he would have liked. All this thinking back and forth gave him a migraine. It didn’t matter anyway. It was done. She had ended the pregnancy before there really was a baby inside her and there wasn’t anything he could do to change it.

She was asleep in the middle of the bed when he got back in the very early hours of the morning. She was in a fetal position with Eye in the Dark sleeping right under her chin. She had been crying. He could see tear tracks on her face.

_My everything..._


	9. Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't know what happened but the entire chapter didn't get posted, so here's the rest... ;)

_My everything..._

 

He had never been this personal in social media before but the moment he posted the picture of his sleeping beauty on Instagram he knew he had made the right decision. He had never thought he do find the one but she had really been there all along, they just hadn’t realized it until now. He really knew she had meant what she said, that she was sorry. He had never once in the 10 years of knowing her, having her back down and allow him to yell at her like that. She always yelled right back, even though it had been all her fault. Now she knew she had really hurt him and she would try to make it up to him in any way she could and to start with letting him yell at her. He sat and watched her the entire morning in the armchair in the corner of the room. Just sat there and let his mind wander. His phone buzzed constantly and he finally turned it off completely. Her phone began to buzz somewhere around 8 o’clock in the morning but she never woke up. The cat got really annoyed by the buzzing though and woke up jawing. He had expected the black fur ball to join him once he saw him, but the cat simply looked at him for a second before laying back down and cuddled closer to Jessie. She had even won the cat over completely. When she finally woke up, she knew he was there and he knew she knew he was there.

“It was never about choosing Sean over you. I just needed to practice on someone else before I told you. But then I realized it wouldn’t matter what or how the fuck I told you, you would still get pissed.”

“Could you blame me?”

“No. I’d be pissed too. Where’ve you been?”

“Just walking…I just don’t understand how you could keep this from me. Don’t you trust me?”

She moved and sat up to watch him.

“Of course I do.”

“Do you really think I would force you to keep it if you didn’t want to?”

“No, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt you like that. Back then, you really wanted a family and a baby and it was easier not to tell you cause I know how much it would hurt when you wouldn’t be able to make me keep it.”

“So you thought this would be better? Waiting 6 fucking years to tell me? When I couldn’t be there for you? To help you get through it?”

“You know it wasn’t like it is now 6 years ago, Norman. We were just fucking each other every chance we got.”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a problem in telling me, would it?”

“You know I loved you. Even then. I’ve always loved you. It’s complicated, it’s always been complicated with you. Would you have want me to keep it back then?”

He took his time to really think about his answer before he gave it to her. She waited for him, knowing he was searching for the right words.

“No.”

He finally said and he saw her shoulders relax slightly.

“I loved you too already back then, you know that. And I knew you better than you think I did even then. I still think you would’ve made an awesome mom and I would like you to get the chance again one day if that’s what you want, but back then you couldn’t have done it. I get why you did an abortion, Jessie but I don’t get why you didn’t tell me.”

“I’m sorry, Norman. I’m really sorry about not telling you. If we hadn’t been taking a break back then things might have turned out differently, but you weren’t there when I figured out I was pregnant and I just ended up in my own little world. I didn’t talk to anyone between the time I did the test and until I called the clinic. And afterwards I just… I pretty much slept at Ground Zero for days, feeling so fucking guilty.”

“About what?”

“About the whole thing. Getting pregnant in the first place, hating myself for getting myself into the whole thing to begin with. For not telling you…”

“It really was my fault too, you know. We were never careful.”

“There never was a reason to be careful because I was on the pill.”

“You said you weren’t going to be pregnant again. You didn’t do something really stupid did you?”

“What…? No, no I still can get pregnant, I think… I just haven’t had a period for the past 2 years. No ovulation, no babies…”

“Then what the hell is all that pmsing coming from?”

He finally cracked up in a small smile and she felt every muscle in her body relax. It was like the weight of the world had fallen off of her shoulders when he smiled at her. They were going to make it through this.

“Shut up…”

She sniggered back at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. So this is all Mingus fault really?”

“Yeah, your nosy little brat of a son. He never could mind his own business. Kinda like his father. But I guess if you had been smart in the first place and listen to me when I asked you to go to hell the first time around, we wouldn’t be here.”

“I never could just mind own business when it comes to you, Jess, you know that.”

“Are we ok? Are you ok?”

“I will be ok, just give me some time. But we’re fine, baby. If you really need me to say it, I will.”

“Yeah, I think I do actually.”

“I forgive you for lying to me, Jessie.”

“Thank you.”

“Check your phone.”

“Why?”

“Just check your phone.”

He leaned forward and rested his underarms on his knees as she reached for her phone. Her eyes widened when she had more than 25 new text messages and 10 missed calls.   

“What did you do?”

The first thing she saw however was a notification on both Twitter and Instagram about a new post by Bigbaldhead. She stared at the picture of herself for a solid 10 seconds and then read what he had actually wrote for yet another 10 seconds.

“There’s no turning back now, baby.”

“Why….?”

She stuttered out the word.

“Why not? There’s going to be so many fucking rumors going around, I might as well come clean right away and confirm it. I love you, Jessie.”

“I love you too but this…”

She gestured to her phone and threw her hands out in front of her in resignation.

“It’s giving me even worse conscience… You’re too good to be true, you know that right? I had expected to be thrown out and never see you again.”

“You actually thought I would be that mad?”

“Yeah…Maybe you really should value your sanity and get out of this.”

“Babe, that ship sailed 10 years ago. The moment I first saw you I knew I was in over my fucking head. You were nothing but trouble, girl.”

“You love me too much for your own good.” 

“Probably. I need you to promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“If you would get pregnant again, tell me and we will figure it out together.”

“Ok… No one else known though, besides Sean. Could we keep it that way?”

“Sure. What did you tell Mingus when he asked if we were having a kid?”

“I’m not sure I actually gave him an answer. He caught me of guard to say the least. I think I told him that we hadn’t thought about it at all. You’re not still thinking about it, are you?”

“Well, could you blame me if I was right now? Ask me again in a week when I’ve gotten the picture of you being pregnant out of my head.”

“Would you like to see it?”

She had never shown him a family picture. Her apartment had been cleared of every picture of her family the same year she met him. She had needed to get rid of the constant reminder of losing her family so she had gathered all pictures and other keepsakes in a box. He had asked but when she had explained to him, he had accepted it and never asked again.

“If you want to show me I want to see it.”

She searched her iCloud account on her iPad for the right files. She saw him move at the corner of her eye and his hand was suddenly on her thigh as he sat down next to her.

“You don’t have to, baby…”

“It’s fine. It’s gets easier for each year that passes. You make it easier.”

“Where the hell have you been hiding this romantic side before, J?”

“I’ve learned from the best the past 10 years. This is my sister Jenny. She was 4 years older than me. This was on her 21st birthday.”

“You look very much alike.”

“Yeah… I got just as drunk as her that night. Lost my virginity to a collage friend of hers the morning after. She pretty much beat him up when I told her. She was always so damn overprotecting.”

“How did you met Josh?”

Norman took a closer look at the Hispanic good looking man on the next photo. He was wrapping his arm around a younger version of the woman sitting on his bed.

“A blind date.”

“Was he your first serious boyfriend?”

“No, but he was the first one it felt really good with, you know, that we could actually grow old together. Then of course things changed when I got pregnant so soon.”

“Was he happy?”

“Ecstatic! He was so happy about it.”

“Where you?”

“It sort of grew on me. I guess I was more of the realistic one, the practical one. I had just started another production on _the Lion King_ and he had just started a new job as well and we weren’t even living together. I was still staying with mom and dad. That’s them.”

She flipped to a picture of her parents. She was a perfect combination of her parents. The green eyes came from her father’s side, while the long blond hair came from her mother.

“What’s was their names?”

“Edward and Lisa. Hamilton was mom’s last name.”

“Where they married?”

“Yeah. We all went to City Hall on their 20 anniversary, I was 10 and they got married. It was the perfect day…. Well, there you have it. Josh was so excited about it he took the same picture every month. At first I was like, what the hell? But now I’m very happy he actually did.”

“There’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

He watched her naked belly swell and expand for each photo she flipped through. After the 9th or 10th photo the belly was suddenly gone and a newborn baby boy was resting on top of it instead in a hospital bed and the new mom and dad was looking into the camera, smiling.

“New Year’s day, right?”

“Yeah. 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I had been in labor since midnight. He wasn’t due until 3 weeks later really but I guess he got sick of waiting.”

“He got your eyes.”

She allowed him to flip through the photos himself. She had watched them so many times. Norman watched the dark haired baby boy with green eyes, just like his mothers, grew. There were pictures of the boy standing for the first time, crawling, eating by himself. Everything had been capture on camera. Then they suddenly stopped. The last picture was of a laughing baby boy with dimples, only wearing a diaper and standing on his own two feet in the middle of what looked like a kitchen.

“Josh sent me that the very same night they drove to Boston. It’s the last picture I have of him.”

“He’s beautiful… He was one lucky kid, so much love…”

“Yeah. He was the pride and joy of everyone in my family. So fucking spoiled but I couldn’t stop it. He was just such a happy kid all the time. No fussing, sleeping through the night after 2 months…. Josh was so proud of him, planning his future before he could walk. He was going to play baseball for the Yankees.”

“You should bring a few pictures to Georgia when we move.”

“Why?”

“Cause they’re your family. Now we’re a family and they should be part of that too. They’re part of who you are.”

“We’re a family?”

“Yeah, you and Mingus are my family. Right?”

“Yeah. It’s just weird… I love your son, you know I do, I just never thought I’d have another family.”

“Well, you do.”

“Thank you.”    

 

Jessie didn’t’ like the feelings that started to spread through her entire body at all. Her eyes narrowed and her eyes got dark with anger. Norman was doing promo for _Sky_ and seeing him with the blond co-star stirred up the very new and unwelcomed jealousy. The two women had only met once before, but it had been an extremely loud and unpleased meeting for all three of them. It hadn’t been one of her proudest moments. She had been drinking too much and had gate-crashed their private dinner, yelling and cursing all over the place. Of course she had never admitted she had done it because she needed him all to herself and not share him with anyone else at the time. And there she was again. Unannounced and in her eyes, unwelcomed, outside the front door when she opened it. She was in the middle of making dinner while Norman was in the study doing a phone interview.

 “Hi…”

She trailed off and Jessie actually laughed internally when she could tell the blond had expected Norman at the door.

“Well, hello.”

“Is he here?”

“Yes. Would you like to see him?”

“I didn’t come to see you, bitch.”

“Wow, big words this early in the afternoon, princess Di.”

“Oh shut your fucking mouth…. What are you doing here anyway?”

“What? You didn’t get the memo? Did it pass you by that we’re dating? I’ve been staying here for the past 3 months now.”

“Who’re you talking…to? Hi….”

Norman began talking to her from the kitchen but when he finally saw the two women at the door, he trailed off. He stopped a few feet behind Jessie and stared at the blond woman in the doorway.

“Is she for real?”

“Nice to see you again, Diane. What are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet up tomorrow.”

“Why is she here?”

“Why the fuck are you here?”

Jessie fired back and Norman intervened before things got out hand. Again. He wrapped his arm around Jessie’s waist and pulled her close, kissing the side of her head as he did. She smiled, simply to annoy the blond in front of her and wrapped her own arm around him as well.

“No, the question really is what are you doing here, Di?”

“Are you fucking serious? Are you actually dating this pshyco now?”

“Why do you even care? Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Why the hell are you still fucking talking?”

Norman felt how Jessie began to move but he simply squeezed her side a little harder and she stopped. She knew it would piss the blond off and feeling him close by made her decide to play the pissing-you-off-card instead of hitting-your-face-card. She grinned before turning and kissed her boyfriend. He got slightly surprised but when she forced her tongue inside his mouth, he responded to the kiss automatically. At the corner of his eyes, he could see his co-worker glare at both of them and finally turn and stalk away.

“Nice seeing you again!”

Jessie said, half laughing as she pulled away.

“Shut up…!”

Norman hissed at her as he closed the door.

“Your evil little bitch….”

He caught her lips once more when they were finally alone again and pushed her up against the now closed front door. She smiled against his lips and ran both of her hands through his hair.

“You gotta start behaving, babe.”

“Sorry, not gonna happen. Not around her. She fucking used you. The only one who gets away with doing that is me.”

“True. But we will spend some time together now and I need to know you won’t get bananas on her, at least not in public.”

“I will just stay away.”

“Good. You trust me, right?”

“I do trust you but I don’t trust her. I kinda hate that you’ve to see her again.”

“Are you jealous?”

He grinned at her and squeezed her waist lightly. She scowled and hit his shoulder.

“Shout your mouth.”

“That’s pretty cute, honey. You’re jealous.”

“Fine...! Yes, maybe a little. You actually did sleep with her.”

“Not for real, just on camera.”

“Still... I want to ask you something.”

She kissed him one final time before heading back to the kitchen to finish their dinner. He followed right behind her.

“Shoot.”

“This promo is going on for the rest of the week right?”

“Yeah. Until Monday or something I think.”

“Would you mind if I skipped town for a few days?”     

“You know I would, cause I will miss you but go ahead.”

“I want to go home to Georgia. I need some serious alone and quite time right now.”

“Home to Georgia...?”

“Yeah. Home away from home, you know what I mean. I could go down there this weekend and just make the house ready for you.”

“If that’s what you need, of course. I won’t come down for another two weeks though.”

“I know.”

”You’re not getting cold feet are you?”

“It’s just been a bit intense lately, I need some time to just breath for a second.”

“Tell me about it...I would come with you if I could.”

“I know that. But you need to go play nice with princess Di.”

“Come on, Jess don’t call her that.”

“Well she acts like it. Spoiled little bitch princess with the biggest ego on the planet.”

“It’s really cute that you actually stick up for me like this but please don’t do anything stupid.”

“Why the hell do you think I’m planning on leaving? You know I’m not really proud of what happened last year in Toronto but I would punch the bitch to ground again if she gave me a reason to.”

_September 2015, Toronto_

_It was the worst month of the year for both of them. For him it had gotten worse for each year because he realized more for each year of knowing her, what it did to her. She had vanished from the face of the earth for the first 5 years as 9/11 approached. Usually for about 2 weeks it would be impossible for him to get hold of her. 2014 had been the first year when he had really tried to help her get through it. It had been one of the worst weeks of his life. He didn’t know what he could do to help her or if she actually wanted his help but he had tried. They had ridden his bike south and kept to the road most of time. She had beaten him up more than once during their trip. He had never seen a person so completely devastated and distraught and it turned to an uncontrollable range a few times._

_He felt that he was better prepared this time around though. They were in a better place to begin with. She had been staying with him in Georgia pretty much since they began filming in May. They began their trip up north already September 8 th with Toronto film festival as a final destination. _

_“You need to eat something.”_

_It was close to midnight and they had stopped at a motel along the way. He found her crawled up at the head of the bed when he returned after heading across the road to a 7eleven to get her something to eat. She didn’t even move when he got in the bed with her. He could see the tears on her face but it was quite tears. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong, he knew why she was crying. She didn’t protest when he simply lifted her into his lap and cradled her to his chest. She was so tens and stiff in his arms but he rocked her gently like he had been rocking Mingus so many years ago. It took almost an entire hour, but she finally relaxed._

_“You know what the worst thing is…? I keep running it through my head every fucking second. What it was like on that plane. If he was scared, did he cry or did Josh managed to keep it together? I know that it must have been quick but I keep running it through it my head over and over again and I just hope that he felt safe and loved to the very last second. That he knew that he was loved and that I loved him. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve wished that it had been me instead of him.”_

_“I don’t… I love you, Jessie. Just like you are right now, like you’ve been from the start and truth is you wouldn’t be this person if it hadn’t happened. We would never have met if you hadn’t lost your family. Don’t get me wrong, you know I would never wish for anyone to go through what you’ve gone through and I know it’s selfish as fuck but I love you and I’m glad we’re here right now.”_

_“Me too…Thank you for doing this. It makes things easier.”_

_“That’s all I’m trying to do, baby. I need you to eat something right now, baby girl. You haven’t had anything to eat all day. Please?”_

_“What did you find?”_

_She sat up and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her hoodie. She stopped and turned to look at him. He looked back at her and put a hand on her check and traced her tear tracks gently with the tip of his fingers._

_“I love you, Jessie.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_She leaned in and kissed him gently._

_“There weren’t much to choose from I’m afraid. Turkey sandwich and chips. And some chocolate but I…”_

_“You ate it on the way back, right?”_

_“Yeah… I was hungry.”_

_He sat and watched her eat from the bed and she knew him too well to ask him to stop. He would make sure she ate every last crumble of that sandwich before he took his eyes off her. She noticed that she was really hungry once she began to eat and she ended up finishing both bags of chips and a can of soda as well._

_“At ease solider.”_

_She actually smiled at him when she rose from her seat and walked back to join him on the bed. He opened his arms to her once again and she crawled into her safe place. Hearing the steady pounding of his heart calmed her down. He was still there, he was always going to be there whenever she needed him. She knew she didn’t deserve him but at that moment she didn’t care. She just closed her eyes and let her mind drift off to sleep._

_“I’ll be back as soon as possible, ok? You ok?”_

_He had to leave for to do some promo for_ Sky _but he had never felt less like leaving her. She had assured him time and time again that she was fine, but he didn’t feel comfortable about leaving her alone at the hotel._

_“I’ve a dinner reservation with Diane and the director but I really don’t need to go. I could come back.”_

_“I’ll be fine. Go.”_

_“Ok, see you tonight. Love you.”_

_“Love you too.”_

_She really thought she would be fine without him but as the hours crept by and she made the mistake of flipping through the TV and caught one of many documentaries about 9/11, she fell down in her own personal hell once again. Everything that he had helped her through the past couple of days vanished just as fast as she watched the towers come down. The demons in her head came back with full force and not having him there to calm her down made her head straight for the overstocked minibar._

_The small bottle of Jack danced in the palm of her head for about 5 seconds before she swallowed the liquor in two big swallows. It didn’t have the effect she was looking for. She just needed to feel something. Something at all besides feeling so completely empty and lost so she picked up a second bottle._

_He wasn’t much of a dinner company that night. He kept checking his phone every 5 minutes. His guts were still telling him, he really should go back to the hotel and check on her and he had tried to take the chance when the female director had left after their main course. He was too much of a gentleman though when then blond actress asked him to stick around a little longer and have another drink._

_“It’s not still the same chick that gets inside your head, is it? Jessica, right?”_

_“It’s Jessie actually…”_

_He said quietly and spun the glass between his hands._

_“Are you serious? You’re still not seeing that crazy bitch that came out to see you on set before bolting the very next day?”_

_“She’s having a hard time right now…”_

_“So what? You’re her knight in shiny armor? Please, Norman you must know you’re way out of her league. You could do so much better than her.”_

_He stared at the blond on the other side of the table. He didn’t even know her that well but she was showing him a side that he hadn’t expected at all and one that he didn’t like at all. What right did she have to tell him what he could or couldn’t do? He swallowed the angry hiss that he wanted to direct at the woman and took a sip of his drink instead._

_“She’s an old friend…”_

_“Friend, huh? Really?”_

_“It’s complicated. I don’t want to bore you.”_

_“I really hope you’re not turning someone else down cause of this chick. Someone that would be a whole lot better. I would be a lot better for example.”_

_“You’ve a boyfriend….”_

_“So…? He doesn’t have to know.”_

_“Come on…”_

_She reached out a hand to one of his that was resting on top of the table. He quickly moved his hand away from her and shook his head at her._

_“I love her. I love Jessie.”_

_“Right…”_

_She said, her voice dripping of sarcasm as she rolled her eyes at him. He saw a movement at the corner of his eye and he felt Jessie move pass him before he had time to connect his brain to his body. She jumped past him and attacked the woman on the other side of the table with claws and fists._

_“Shut your fucking mouth!”_

_He heard her yelling and the blond was yelling as well and he watched a second to long. Her nails dogged into Diane’s shoulder and she slapped her in the face with the other as she kept yelling at her. Jessie got attacked right back before he managed to reconnect his brain to his body again and he launched at Jessie. He wrapped his entire body around her, both to protect her from the other woman, but also to be able to lift her away. He saw people rushing to aid him but he had her under control after only seconds and somehow managed to carry his lover outside to the back alley of the restaurant._

_“Jessie! Jessie, baby calm down! Please, baby…!”_

_The alcohol on her breath was very strong and she had a hard time to really focus on him when he tried to make her look at him. Just as she seemed to see him they could both hear movement behind them and they turned as one to the blond, furious woman that came stalking after them._

_“What the fuck…!”_

_Norman actually cursed but it was mostly to himself because both women began to yell at each other the same time._

_“What’s your fucking problem, bitch?! Your fucking crazy whore! I should fucking report you!”_

_“You keep your fucking hands off him, whore!”_

_“Or what? What the hell are you going to do about it, bitch?”_

_He couldn’t believe her when she placed her hand on his face and leaned in close to him. He quickly moved and shoved her hand away and took a step back._

_“You have a boyfriend, Diane.”_

_“Are you fucking serious?! Are you turning me down cause of this psycho bitch?! What the hell does she have to offer you besides a warm fucking body?! She will never be enough for you, Norman. You will never be good enough for anyone, bitch! Just look at you… Worthless little whore…”_

_“Shut up!”_

_The words came from Norman. He pulled Jessie behind himself and kept one hand firmly around her arm as he stepped closer to the other woman. She looked completely dumbfounded and she just stared at him._

_“I apologize for this, she was way out of line, attacking you like that I have to admit that. And I would appreciate if you didn’t go to the cops with this. But you’re not one bit better right now! Shut your fucking mouth about stuff you know nothing about. Who the hell are you to tell me what I deserve or not?! You don’t even know me!”_

_“You’re not serious going to take this whore back to the hotel with you?”_

_“She lives with me…! I don’t fucking have to explain myself to you. I’m gonna go now and I’m taking Jessie with me, you do whatever fuck you wanna do, Diane… Take care of yourself.”_

_He turned quickly and scooped Jessie into his arms. He knew she would jump the other woman if she got the chance. By carrying her away, he made sure she never got the chance and that she actually stayed on her feet. He couldn’t remember seeing her this drunk in a very long time. Once he had put some distance between themselves and the restaurant, he put her down on her feet. It was a cold September evening but he made her walk all the way back to the hotel. She didn’t talk yet. He knew she would, but she was still too angry to be able to form words. She stopped 3 times during their 20 minutes’ walk and threw up. He wondered how much she really had been drinking or if she simply had been drinking on an empty stomach. He held her hair back every time and helped her get it all up. Once they were inside their hotel room she collapsed against the back of the door and he allowed her to stay there while he cleaned up the worst mess of the room. The entire bed was covered in empty bottles and it looked like she had taken out her range at the TV at some point, because it was no long hanging on the wall. How the fuck would he explain that when they checked out?_

_“You too fucking good to me, you know… You really are…”_

_“I know.”_

_He kneeled in front of her and began to take her cloth’s off. She had closed her eyes and was resting the back of her head against the door._

_“I fucking hate you…!”_

_“I know, baby. I fucking hate you too right now, your crazy ass bitch… What the fuck were you thinking, Jess?”_

_“Fuck you, Norman!”_

_She pushed him away when he finished taking her shoes and socks off. He lost his balance and ended up on his ass in front of her._

_“What the fuck…? Look, Jess let’s just get some sleep and we can talk about this in the morning, ok?”_

_“Whatever…”_

_He waited until she had passed out before he lifted her to the bed. He placed her on her side and made himself ready for bed before crawling down next to her._

_She woke up with the worst headache she had had in years. The room spun as she opened her eyes to the thankfully dark room. The first thing her eye caught was a bucket at the side of the bed and the mere sight of the red plastic made her stomach contract and she vomited straight into it. As she straightens up she saw a bottle of water and 2 aspirin on the nightstand. She was still not completely sober and the anger about last night hadn’t really past yet. Not that she remembered all of it but as she laid eyes on her lover sitting with his laptop by the desk she knew it must have been bad. The worry in his eyes were overwhelming and she knew he had probably watched her for a while. She grunted her morning greeting before swallowing both pills with half of the water in the bottle._

_“How are you feeling?”_

_“Probably as I deserve.”_

_“I’m guessing you don’t want breakfast?”_

_She shook her head and tried to get to her feet. She moved to the side of the bed and let her legs dingle over the edge for a moment before she put them down. The floor kept spinning and she shut her eyes tight. When she opened them again it had stopped and he was hoovering close to her._

_“Don’t!”_

_He put both hands up in front of him and took a step back._

_“Sorry…”_

_She went to the bathroom to pee and wash her face. When she looked at her own reflection in the mirror she saw a red scratch mark on the side of her throat. A picture of the blond actress popped into her head and she remember seeing her touch Norman in a way that had made her see red._

_“We need to talk about this, Jess.”_

_He said as she came back from the bathroom and headed straight back to bed. She turned to her back and tilted her head to look at him. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and looked back at her. She sighed and leaned up slightly to a pail of pillows behind her back._

_“What the hell happened last night?”_

_“I really don’t remember, Norm…She scratched me.”_

_She removed the t-shirt she wore and showed him the thin red marks on her throat. He traced his finger gently over them._

_“In her defense, you attacked first. Why didn’t you call? You should’ve told me to come back.”_

_“I don’t need you! I’ve managed to get through this without your fucking help for 14 years!”_

_He stared at her but she stared right back. He tried to find his voice but he just couldn’t believe what she had just said to him. She might as well have slapped him in the face. She wasn’t prepared when he began to tear up in front of her. She ran her words through in her head once again and started to really regret them at once. Why the hell did she always have to hurt him?! Why could she never think things through before she opened her mouth? He moved before she had had time to from some sort of apology. He headed straight to the door after collecting his jacket._

_“Fuck you, Jessie!”_

_The door slammed behind him but she remained on the bed for just a second before she followed him. He was stepping inside the elevator when she rushed out in the corridor. At the very last second she managed to squeeze herself into the elevator after him._

_“I’m sorry!”_

_She practically shouted at him as the doors closed and the lift moved down. He glared at her._

_“Not fucking good enough, Jess!”_

_“What the hell do you want me to say?! You know I’m not good at this shit…”_

_“Fucking try, Jessie cause right now I’m going to fucking let you get back home on your own!”_

_“I’m s…”_

_The lift stopped and she was forced to cut off as a whole bunch of people made their way into the lift with them. They eyed her with dislike and she realized she was only wearing one of Norman’s t-shirts and underwear. And she probably smelled of bad alcohol and vomit. She moved back and took the opportunity to move in closer to him. She knew he would never make a scene in public and she took advantage of it. As the elevator stopped yet again and more people entered, she pressed herself into his arms and he had no chose but to let her. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she got up on her tiptoes to whisper to him._

_“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t, not really. I need you. I need you so fucking much, Norman. I love you, baby. Please, I’m sorry. I should never have said it, cause it’s not true. You know it isn’t. There’s no one I need more then you.”_

_They reached the lobby and everyone existed but they stayed pressed together in the back corner. The second the doors closed and they were alone, he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard. She responded with full force and grabbed him by his hair to force him closer._


	10. Pilot season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so this is going to be a rough one...

She loved his Georgia home, an hour and a half outside Atlanta, in the middle of nowhere. She took a few minutes to just stand in the doorway when she opened the front door and simply breath. There was nothing but woods around and all she could hear was the sound of the tress blowing in the wind and birds singing. No traffic. No siren’s. No shouting people outside the windows. Simply peace and quiet and it was what she really needed right now. He picked up on the 4 ring when she picked her phone up to let him know she had got there safe and sound.

“Hi!”

The happiness in his voice didn’t pass her by and she ended up with a silly little smile on her face that she wasn’t really used to yet.

“Hi… Damn, what the hell have you done to me…?”

She started to tear up and she tried to swallow back the tears that burned in her throat, but nothing passed him by.

“Baby… What’s going on?”

“Nothing… Really, it’s nothing. This is fucking insane, I don’t even know why I’m crying. You’ve made me a damn emotional mess.”

“And I’m not at all sorry for it.”

“You should.”

“Not going to happen, babe. Emotions are good for you, love.”

“Fine… I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Jess. How was your flight?”

“Ok…”

“What happened?”

“Met some of your fans at the terminal. They weren’t the friendly kind of fans if you know what I mean?”

“I’m sorry, honey. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. I put my headphones on and ignored them. Don’t really know what they said more than bitch and that I should leave you alone.”

“That’s my girl. I’m really sorry though, Jessie you shouldn’t have to…”

“Hey, don’t apologize. I don’t care, you know that. Maybe it should actually help if you talked about it? I know you haven’t and I get why but maybe it should help calm things down a bit if they actually heard you talk about it, not just “yeah, I’m dating.” You have the most enthusiastic fans on the planet, they want to know everything.”

“But they don’t need to.”

“I’m not saying they do, but simply saying you’re dating could actually just be pissing them off more.”

“You might be right, haven’t really thought about that…”

“That’s because I always have to do all the thinking.”

“Shut your mouth, Jess!”

“Yeah, I love you too, baby.”

“How’s my best buddy doing?”

“He’s fine. He was a bit nervous during take-off, but he settled down once we got up in the air. He’s still asleep.”

She kneeled and peeked inside the cage at the sleeping cat. Since Norman wouldn’t really be spending that much time in New York, he had asked her to take his furry best friend with her. She hadn’t hesitated but was actually happy to get some company.

“Good. How about I post something online?”

“Do whatever you feel like doing, babe. If you don’t feel like sharing, you know I respect that but if you’d that’s fine too. It’s all up to you. I’ve nothing to hide, you already know everything about me.”

“I gotta go, baby. I’ll call you.”

“Alright. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

He was lying alone in bed for the first time in a very long time and he hated it. She had been by his side for the past months but he hadn’t really had the time to reflect over how used to her he had gotten. He was heading out in the morning but had finally had the opportunity to spend some quality time with his son. He flipped through the pictures of his phone and tried to find one of her or the two of them together he felt comfortable sharing with the rest of the world when he heard movement outside the door.

“Hey, dad?”

Mingus poked his head inside his bedroom and he lifted his head to look up at his son standing in the shadows.

“What’s up?”

“Are you alright?”

“Fine… Why?”

“I just thought that since Jessie left… You know, that you…”

He knew Mingus couldn’t really see it but he got a bit chocked up by his son’s concern for his wellbeing. He really had managed to raise him good.

“I’m fine. Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Why aren’t you?”

Mingus walked into the room and to his father’s slight surprise he crawled into bed. He waved the phone in his direction before answering.

“Jessie thought it might be a good idea to share something more the just, you know… That I’m actually dating.”

“Why?”

“She pointed out that it might actually be pissing them of, the fans I mean, more by not knowing. We really have just shared that we’re dating, nothing more.”

“They don’t need more.”

“I know, but there’s so much shit going around and I just want to straighten some things out.”

“What shit?”

“That she’s a gold digger, looking for her own 15 minutes of fame.”

“You know she can take it, right?”

“Of course I know that but she shouldn’t have to.”

“But it’s not really like you can tell the whole story.”

“Hell no…! Wow, I forgot I had this one”

He had found a black and white photo of his girlfriend with his son. It had to be one of the very first times they had gone away together the three of them. Mingus had been 10 and they had gone to Disney World. He had taken the photo during one of their dinners at night and they had all been all smiles and laughs. His son had kissed her check and if he closed his eyes he could go back to that very moment.

“You should post that one. At least that will show she’s been around for a while. Might get rid of the gold digger rumors at least. I mean she’s been by your side for 10 years now. She really is the reason you ended up addition for _Walking Dead_ in the first place. That’s something you really should share if anything.”

“Yeah, maybe… Thank God you inherited your mother’s brains.”  

Mingus burst out laughing so hard at his father’s comment it hurt his stomach after a while.

_To all the haters out there, this is Jessie and Mingus 7 years ago #gf #alwaysbymyside #beforetwd #bff #respectplease #love_

After much debating he was finally satisfied with what he had written and how the picture turned out and he posted it on Instagram. He heard his son’s breathing getting heavier and he realized that he had fallen asleep. When he turned his head to finally look at him, Mingus was indeed asleep. Comparing the picture on his phone with the image in front of him, he could still see the smiling boy. The trip to Disney World with them had been one of his absolute favorite trips he had ever done and he knew it had been the same for Mingus.

_Good night. We love you._

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep he got a selfie from Jessie with Eye in the Dark. She was just about to go to sleep too and knowing she wasn’t actually alone made it easier for him to go to sleep after texting a quick message back.

_Love you too. Sweet dreams._

He texted back before going to sleep next to his son, his head 7 years back in time. 

_Los Angeles, spring of 2009_

_“You bitch! I wasn’t done with that!”_

_She grabbed the grilled cheese straight out of his hand and threw it down on the floor as she crawled into his lap. The scrip in his other had was also yanked away from him when she demanded his full attention. He was not in mood to take part in one of her games though. He had tones of scrips to read. They were in L.A. for pilot season and he was looking for something that would be worth his time._

_“Well, I say you are.”_

_She tugged his shirt out of his pants and began to pull it up but his hands closed around her wrists. She glared at him._

_“Not right now, Jess.”_

_“Yes, right fucking now, Norman.”_

_“No…! I’m not in the fucking mood right now!”_

_“Your dick doesn’t seem to agree with you.”_

_She wriggled out of his grip and one hand landed on his indeed hard erection. He cursed to himself and forced her away from him and down on her back before sitting back up and picking the script back up. She scowled at him but decided not to give up that easily. She rose to her knees and began to strip off her clothes. She smiled to herself when she saw him paus his reading to glance at her. He swallowed back a moan and turned back with determination to the script. His eyes weren’t moving over the pages though. She knew just as well as he that he would give up but he was determent to hold on to his own free will for as long as possible. She was so damn good at taking that away from him._

_She had gotten naked within seconds and as her hands began to touch herself, he could feel his pulse quicken. She moaned and closed her eyes as her hands dropped to her breasts and she began to massage them. Her nipples hardened at once and she pinched them lightly. His breath hitched when he watched her hands travel past her flat stomach and down to her just newly shaven pussy. The scrip was still in his lap but he had been reading the same word 100 times. Once her legs fell open, he moved. The papers hit the floor and he grabbed both her wrists and forced her hands up above her head when he laid on top of her._

_“Fucking crazy bitch….!”_

_An evil little smile spread over her face and he knew she wasn’t going to play nice tonight before she actually moved._

_“You’re right… I think I changed my mind.”_

_She said and somehow managed to push him away and she stood, gathering her cloths together within seconds. He knew it was exactly what she wanted but once the shock left him, he moved._

_“The hell you are!”_

_He ran up after her and grabbed her by the upper arm and spun her back around. She tried to pull out of his grip but when he didn’t let her go she slapped him hard in the face and shoved him in the chest. He staggered back a step and released her but stopped only for a second before heading straight for her. He grabbed her throat and pushed her up against the wall._

_“What’re you going to do about it?!”_

_She yelled at him._

_He was when it really came down to it, a lot stronger than her and although he rarely took advantage of it, now he had her under full control. She had but one move but he had known her long enough to know what it was. He even grinned at her when she tried to knee him in the crotch but he moved away in time and pushed her even harder against the wall. One hand pressed against her airways while the other kept her hips in a firm grip._

_“Fuck you, Norman!”_

_“No, baby I’m fucking you.”_

_She dug her nails into his shoulder and scratched him hard, making him curse. They glared at each other for a second before he moved once more. Grabbing her hard by the neck and forced both arms to her back, he pushed her down on her knees. She landed hard on the side of her head seeing as her arms were still locked behind her back._

_“Is this what you waned, bitch?!”_

_“Do what the fuck you wanna do!”_

_She tried but failed to turn her head back around to look at him. She had never been able to explain to him or to herself why she needed this now and again. Maybe it was all about feeling something else then just numbness. She got really turned on watching him so furious and having him take full control over her made her so wet she could fell her juices drip down her legs. She began panting when she heard him unzip his jeans._

_“Fuck!”_

_She yelled out when he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up._

_“Get the fuck up, bitch!”_

_The moment he forced her to stand again and she faced him, his hand still holding on to her hair, she spat at him._

_“Fuck you, Norman! I fucking hate you!”_

_“Shut your fucking mouth, bitch!”_

_The back of his hand made contact with her left cheek but he left her no tine to hit back as he forced her back around and pushed her upper body hard onto the bed. She struggled and cursed at him but he locked her arms behind her back and kicked her legs apart._

_“I told you to shut the fuck up, bitch!”_

_“Fucking make me, your fucking piece of shit!”_

_He took on the challenge at once and found just the right thing when he dropped his gaze to the floor. He shoved her panties into her mouth and the curses that left her mouth ended up muffled._

_“Now that’s better… You really should learn to listen, Jess.”_

_He ran one hand over her ass as he kicked off his jeans and underwear, exposing his fully erected and longing dick. He had a strange love/hate dominating her like this. The first time it had happened he had broken down crying the day after. He still wasn’t completely comfortable hurting her like this but as he slammed inside her and he felt how wet she was, he knew she was getting off on this just as much as he did. She even stopped struggling and he could hear a soft moan escape her as he began to move slowly out of her and slamming back in. When he let go of her arms, she grabbed hold of the sheet above her head. While still slamming inside her, he gathered her hair into one hand and pulled her up into his chest. He removed the underwear from her mouth._

_“Let me hear you scream, bitch.”_

_“Is that all you can do?!”_

_She asked and looked back at him. He grabbed her by the chin and forced her lips on his. She bit his lip hard enough to draw blood before letting go._

_“Fucking whore! You want it hard, do you? I’m gonna fucking make you scream, bitch!”_

_He spun her around and pushed her down on her back on the bed. She did indeed cry out when he pushed himself inside her with so much force, she was pushed further up the bed. She came the second time he slammed inside but he knew she wouldn’t want him to stop. But the anger and need for him to hurt her, washed off with every thrust he made. He watched as her entire body begun to relax and she simply enjoyed his treatment. When she closed her eyes and threw her head back, arching her back, he slowed down. His hand released her legs and he crawled on top of her. Gently he kissed the marks his hands had left on her throat and neck and she moaned quietly as her hands got tangled in his hair. She wrapped her legs around his waist and they began to move together._

_“I love you, baby.”_

_“I love you too, Norman. Please, baby make me cum again, I’m so close.”_

_He stopped when she spoke and she opened her eyes to look at him. He simply grinned and winked at her before moving down her body with kisses and careful love bites. He made a pit stop at her breasts, earning him the soft moan of his name escape her lips. He knew she would be soar and bruised in the morning and already now when his lips made contact with her hips, he could spot bruises on the inside of her thighs._

_“I’m sorry, baby girl.”_

_He kissed the bruises gently but she simply pushed her hips towards him._

_“Don’t apologize, baby. You don’t need to.”_

_“Yeah, I do. Can I make it up to you, baby?”_

_“You know you can.”_

_She said, looking back down at him. When his tongue made contact with her swollen clit, she_ _shut her eyes closed grabbed him by the hair._

_“Shit, yes, baby please…”_

_He didn’t have to work long to make her fall over the edge. Her hands griped his hair so tight_ _he actually had to bite back a curse._

_“Fuck! Yes, oh my God!”_

_She held his head steady while her orgasm rushed through her and he happily drank her sweet fluids. Her hands released their grip on him after a while but he didn’t move, rested his head against her stomach for a while. He listened when the heavy and fast breathing slowed down for each minute that ticked by. Once she was asleep, he tucked her in, kissing the top of her head and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower and take care of his own realize._

 

_He woke up with a jerk the following morning. At first he had a hard time focusing on what was happening but he quickly realized that Jessie was kissing the side of his neck, down his collar bones, while on hands caressed his necked chest._

_“What you doing, babe….?”_

_“Make it up to you for last night. I fell asleep before you could…”_

_“Don’t worry about it, baby. I’m fine.”_

_“I know you are but I still want to make to it up to you.”_

_He flinched when her hand ran over the scratches she had left on his shoulder the night before. She lifted her head and found the reason for his sudden movement. She bent closer to him and kissed the red marks lightly._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“I’m sorry too.”_

_It had always fascinated him how they had been able to change their relationship so drastically in the course of just a few hours. There was nothing violate or cruel in the way she touched him. She was gentle and for a lack of a better word, lovely to him. She kept telling him over and over that she loved him, that she was sorry she had hurt him, all while kissing her way down his body. These were the moment he wanted to call her his girlfriend. To him this was what a girlfriend would do, but actually saying the words to her, he knew would make her freak and ran at the door so he shut his mouth and concentrated on the incredible feeling of pleasure as she wrapped her lips around his erection._

_She really did make it up to him that morning, making him yell out her name at the top of his lungs. She leaned back on her heels and watched him ride high on his orgasm, whipping her mouth in the process. She wasn’t familiar with the guilt that came over her as she watched the marks she had left on him. She had never really felt bad about it before but now she found herself leaving the bed and heading to the bathroom to collect a cold, wet towel and after searching her toiletries she found band-aids. He was still not really aware of her when she crawled back into bed and kneeled by his side._

_“Whoo…!”_

_He snapped open his eyes when he felt the wet and cold towel make contact with his shoulder. Once he found her eyes looking calmly back at him, he relaxed and allowed her to continue._

_“Could we stop doing this?”_

_He looked at her for a moment, trying to figure out if she really meant what he thought she meant. She kept cleaning his wounds with gentle fingers._

_“Hey, you asked for it, J.”_

_“I know I did… And I waned it, you know I did, otherwise I wouldn’t have let you do it. I know it’s my fault and I need it but this…”_

_She gestured towards his shoulder as she patched him up._

_“I’m fine, Jessie. How are you?”_

_Her check was slightly swollen when he put his fingertips on her face._

_“I’m the fucked up one. I mean what the hell is wrong with me?”_

_He sat up and grabbed her face in his hands before leaning in to kiss her lips._

_“You know I love all those fucked up parts too, right?”_

_“That’s because you’re fucked up too… I could of course blame it all on you.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Cause you’re too god damn hot when you get angry.”_

_He chuckled and pulled her into his arms before laying back down. She wrapped her arms around his abdomen and snuggled close to him._

_“I don’t know what’s happening right now, Norman.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I’ve never cared that I hurt you before. Not like this…”_

_“Maybe we could try figure things out again?”_

_“Yeah, maybe.”_

_“I love you, Jessie.”_

_“And I love you, Norman.”_

_She leaned up and kissed him quickly before something clicked into place in her head all of sudden. She ended the kiss abruptly and ran out of bed._

_“What?”_

_“I just remember finding something you must read.”_

_She searched the desk with at least a dozen scripts on. She had sorted through them with him since they got to the City of Angels and finally found something she had got hooked on just reading the headline._

_“It’s not another bad hospital or cop show is it?”_

_“What? You would look hot in scrubs…But no, this is something completely different.  Here it is. You’re going to love this.”_

_She bounced back down into his arms and handed her the stack of papers._

_“The Walking Dead…? What’s this?”_

_“Zombies taking over the world.”_

_“I’d love to kill of some zombies.”_

_“You should audition”_

_He looked back at her and nodded. He had complete faith in her and if she thought this could be something worth his time, he would take her word for it._

_“Ok.”_


	11. Badass

****“Are you really dating?”

Norman wasn’t quite use to the question’s coming from the fans he met. Since the season finale of season six it had been all about who died or didn’t die but as the shock of that blowing over, the questions about his private life had taken over. He had a bunch of interviews to do that day and was heading inside the big building but stopped however outside to sign some autographs and talk to the handful of fans that had shown up. He rolled his eyes behind his shades but simply smiled at the young woman in front of him and signed her picture.

“Yes, really.”

“Who is she?”

“She’s an old friend that just turned into something more.”

He quickly wrapped up the signing and headed inside, egger to get this thing over with. Later that afternoon he was finally going back to Georgia and the hours couldn’t tick by fast enough. He missed her so damn much it actually physical hurt and being constantly reminded of her by the fans asking about her, didn’t help one bit.

He knew most reporters had been given restrictions from his PR crew regarding asking questions about his private life but as he did the last of 7th or 8th interview of the day, the reporter seemed not to give a damn about that.

“I’ve a bunch of fan questions but I tell you, all of them really just want to know one thing and it’s not if you die or not anymore. They’re more curious about the fact whether you’re dating or not.”

“Yeah, I got the question before walking in here too…”

“Are you dating?”

“Yes.”

“The follow up question then of course is who she is? You shared some photos a while back but not much more. Who is Jessie?”

He hesitated for the shortest of second before finally decided to let the public into the most private parts of his life.

“I met her in 2006 for the first time and we’ve been friends ever since. She’s always been there, you know? And we’ve been dating before but nothing that never really turned into something serious.”

“But it is now?”

“Yes. We got back together in January and she’s been by my side ever since. I mean, she’s already down in Georgia so….”

“So she was there before Daryl Dixon?”

“She’s the reason I auditioned for the Walking Dead in first place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. We know each other inside and out and she was with me for pilot season in LA and she just knew it would be something I’d like.”

“Well, thank God for Jessie then.”

“Yeah, really thank God for Jessie.”

“So Norman Reedus has official a girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“It can’t be the easiest relationship in the world. A few days back you gave a shout out to all the haters out there, why is that?”

“She has had to put up with a lot of crap since I decided to share this part of my life with the rest of the world and she really shouldn’t have to. I really don’t do hate, I prefer love and I just think there’s enough negativity in the world at the moment. I’m happy and she’s one of the most important people in my life and I just wish people could see the amazing woman I’ve known for a decade now.”

“Anything you would like to share?”

“About her?”

“Yeah, I mean what makes her an amazing woman?”

“Wow…. I mean, I’m not really sure where to being and frankly it’s none business but she’s the most badass person I know. Honestly the strongest human being on the planet. She’s been through much shit and it’s really just an amazing achievement that she’s still here. I’ve always said that damaged people gravitates towards damaged people and it really has been true with us. I just don’t think people should make judgments about something they know nothing about. Jessie is not a gold digger, looking for her 15 minutes of fame. She has more fucking money then I do. She’s been with me through it all for the past 10 years and somehow it turned into something more than just friendship.”

”You choose to share a photo of her with your son.”

“Yes. Really just to prove a point. Everyone has a phone these days and they think they know everything. Most people have been really nice but there always going to be some that... just hate on everyone and just assume whoever I’m dating is simply dating me cause of the show and everything around. But Jessie has never cared about any of that. She has kept me pretty damn grounded and I’m very thankful for that. And she’s so awesome with my son. He was 7 years old when they got to know each other and now he's 16.”

“You captioned the photo with “my everything”, how long have they been your family?”

“The definition of family is a relative term. She’s been part of mine and my son's life for 10 years and she has been living with us back and forth throughout those 10 years. I mean I’ve included her in my family, the once closest to me, since like 2008.”  

“Any chance we will get to see Mr. Reedus become a married man any time soon then?”

“I mean never say never but even if it did happen sometime in the future it wouldn’t be something we would share with y’all.”

“How about your first time together?”

He actually laughed, even though it was without humour. Their first time together was something he should take with him to his grave without letting anyone in on their own best kept secrets.

_Winter 2007 – NYC_

_She wasn’t really sure what she was doing there but she had found herself not being able to get him out of her head. For almost a month they had had a passionate affair that went beyond anything she had ever thought was possible. At the same time 9/11 got closer and one morning she had simply not been there when he woke up. For two weeks she had been away from him and they had texted back and forth. She had seen him again and they had picked up where they left off again but again she had quickly noticed that he tried to take it further then just sex. She had stuck it out until the end of October before breaking pretty much all contact with him once more. That had been almost 2 months ago. But now she was standing outside his door with a chocolate cupcake with a small candle in it, seeing as it was his birthday. Well, it would be in less than 30 seconds._

_The second it past midnight, she knocked on the door. She had expected to have to bang pretty loud and pretty long but she could hear movement inside as she dropped her hand from the door. He stopped dead in the doorway when he opened it and she felt him stare at her. She stared right back and caught herself drowning in his eyes. She had almost forgot how fucking hot he was. Even now when he looked like he had fallen asleep on the couch and just got up to answer the door. His hair was messy and he wore sweats and a t-shirt._

_“Happy birthday.”_

_She held up the cupcake in front of her and waited for him to decided what to do. She knew he could ask her to go to hell and never come back again but somehow she had convinced herself that he real could do the complete opposite as well. She just had to give him some time to figure it out on his own and don’t push him._

_Wordlessly he finally took the cupcake and gestured her inside and took a step away from the door. She nodded once and stepped inside the apartment and he closed the door behind them. The TV was on but she couldn’t figure out what he was watching from this distance._

_“What are you doing here?”_

_He asked the question from the front door and she undressed her shoes and jacket before continuing into the kitchen. He followed her and sat the pastry on the counter and picked up a lighter that lay close by._

_“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”_

_She said as he lit the candle and it drove both their gazes to it._

_“You could have sent a postcard.”_

_“I could.”_

_“Why are you here, J?”_

_“Why did you let me in?”_

_“You had chocolate.”_

_“You could have just taken it and closed the door.”_

_“I could.”_

_He bent closer to the flame and blow out the candle._

_“Where’ve you been?”_

_“Around…”_

_Every fibre in him told him to throw her out head first and never see her again but as he lifted his eyes and looked at her, he fell as hard as he had done the first time he saw her. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He knew it was a mistake but the sexual need he felt for her was like nothing he had ever experienced before. She was simply leaning over the counter slightly and it made her top slide just an inch to expose a little bit of skin on her shoulder and he had to restrain himself not to shred her cloths into little pieces. 7 weeks she had been gone. He had tried to get hold of her for 7 weeks without an answer. She had sent him a text once in a while but never to answer any of the million questions he had. And he had promised himself to try to get her out of his head but it had proven a lot harder than he had thought it would be. And then she suddenly shows up again. His emotions were so mixed it was driving him insane. He was glad to see her again, relived even, but at the same time so fucking pissed he could kick her ass to the ground._

_It ended up to be an act in between the two emotions. He walked up to stand right in front of her and he grabbed her face hard between both hands. He heard her gasp and some small part of his even hoped it hurt just a little. Her hands grabbed his wrists and the seconds ticked by when they simply looked at each other. He gave in first, leaning in to catch her lips with his. Her arms came crushing down around his neck the moment their lips met and she forced her tongue inside him. Her hands got tangled in his hair and he hissed when she tugged hard in an attempt to get him closer. He returned the favour and grabbed her braid and forced her head back. He smiled against her throat when he heard her curse._

_They started to move towards the couch at the same time, tearing cloths off each other in the process. She was in only underwear when she pushed him down on the couch and climbed on top of him. She could make out with him forever, he was such a good kisser and he had quickly found her special spots and she had found his. Her lips found her collarbone and the X tattoo, earning her a low growl at the same time as he unhooked her bra and removed it. When she leaned back slightly to look at him, they were both panting._

_“You got some fucking nerve to just show up like this after 7 fucking weeks, you know that?”_

_“You’re the one letting me in.”_

_He pushed his hips up and pressed his erection hard into her._

_“Fuck…!”_

_She moaned when his still covered dick made contact with her hot centre. He smirked at her before grabbing her hips and forced her on her back. He gave her no time to protest although she might have wanted to. The second his lips began to travel down her throat and his hand landed on her boobs, she gave in to her needs and moaned his name. She felt him undress her panties with his teeth and the second she was completely naked, he attacked where she wanted him the most. This was the one of the main reasons she was here. Orally he was out of this world, 10 times better than everyone else she had ever been with combined. She grabbed his head when she felt his tongue on her. He didn’t have to work long to get her to cum. He knew exactly where to_ _touch_ _her to make her squirm._

_“Do you want me to get a condom?”_

_She opened her eyes and looked at him as he hoovered over her. She shook her head and tried to get her breathing under control._

_“Have you been with anyone else?”_

_“No. Have you?”_

_“Not fucking.”_

_He sneered at her, earning him a glare right back. She moved quickly and straddled him once more and grabbed his crotch in the process. He cursed and leaned his head back_ _to_ _the couch as she began palming him outside his jeans. He helped her by lifting his hips as she began to undress him._

_”What happened to your girlfriend?”_

_”She really wasn’t my girlfriend, we had just gone out on a date.”_

_”Ok, I thought… Dear God!”_

_Her words got cut short as she grabbed his dick and guided herself down around him. He held her hips tightly as she began to roll them around him._

_“You were saying?”_

_He asked teasingly and smirked at her. She let out a giggle and leaned in to kiss him._

_“So you wanna talk now, huh?”_

_“Why not? We never get the chance to talk. So no, I do not have a girlfriend right now.”_

_“Fucking a random chick is enough, right?”_

_“You’re not random, Jess. Not anymore. I haven’t forgotten those weeks with you even though it seems you’ve…!”_

_He snapped his words at her and forced her on her back without breaking them apart and kept on moving. She scratched his back hard enough to leave marks on him and he cursed quietly._

_“I didn’t forget. Why the fuck do you think I’m here?”_

_“You didn’t call, texted, anything. You just fucking left. No explanation whatsoever. What the fuck is up with that, J?”_

_“Why the fuck are you giving me nicknames already?”_

_“What? None’s ever called you J before?”_

_“No. You’re the first, Mr. Reedus… I left because you couldn’t stop the fucking nagging about wanting more. We made a deal, remember?”_

_“You made a deal, babe, I never agreed to anything. You just said you wanted sex and nothing else. I didn’t even have the time to make compromises.”_

_“There’s no fucking compromises, Norm. I’m here because we’d make one hell of a pair in the sack and I left cause you wanted to take me out for a date. I don’t do dates.   With anyone. Period.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Maybe I’ll tell you some day.”_

_“Why don’t you tell me now.”_

_He said and attacked the side of her neck and sucked lightly on her skin. She moved her hands to his head and grabbed his hair. He continued down and ran his tongue around her nipple and bit one at the time, making her cry out._

_“Fuck…!”_

_“Tell me, Jess. Tell me why you don’t date. I really want to know, cause we could be awesome together, babe.”_

_“Cut the crap right now or I’m fucking leaving!”_

_She actually put her hands on his chest and pushed him halfway off her._

_“Fine, fine… Sorry… “_

_He grabbed her around her waist and flipped her over to her hands and knees. She quickly leaned down on her forearms and braced herself for him. They both moaned loudly when he re-entered her again._

_“I lost my family on 9/11.”_

_As the words slipped out of her, she felt him tens behind her and he stopped moving._

_“Don’t you fucking stop now!”_

_“I’m sorry, I just…I think I want the longer version of this story, J.”_

_“I’m not telling you shit before you make me cum.”_

_She cried out when he suddenly grabbed the back of her head and started to move with more force and speed then before. She exploded around him within seconds and he followed not even a heartbeat later. He collapsed on top of her and he grabbed her hands that rested over her head after kissing her neck._

_She told him her story while they lay there on the couch, as close together as two people could and he listen to everything she had to say. She told him about her son, whose footprints he had wondered about but not wanting to ask about. He cried and she let him. She had no more tears to cry at the moment. Her emotions were like roller coaster and at the moment she was just numb. She knew she would have bad days where she would cry again and days where she would be pissed at everything and everyone. And some days would be ok. Today was an ok day. He made her high on endorphins so that probably helped lifting her spirit as well._

_He woke before her_ _and after going to the bathroom, he laid back down beside her. She moved in her sleep and crawled into his arms. He wrapped one around her and gently caressed her arm. Awake and aware she might not want to date him but now when she was unconscious and relaxed she seemed to need him close by. He had tried to deal with what she told him hours before. He had known there was something messed up with her from the very beginning but never had he thought it was this fucked up. She had lost it all. Literally everything that mattered in just a few seconds. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to end her life, he would’ve done the same. The mere thought of losing Mingus made him tear up and he hugged her lifeless body tighter to himself._

The exclusive interview was all over the internet before he got on his plane the very same afternoon. He was used to cameras following him on the airports and on the plane as well but that day it was crazier than normal. He had no one but himself to blame of course but it still annoyed the hell out him. He pulled his baseball cap down over his eyes and put on his headphones before the plane had taken off and fell straight to sleep. He had needed to sleep 10 more hours at least and when the plane touched down in Atlanta he was grumpy and simply hurried past everyone that tried to make contact with him. At security checkpoint however he was suddenly stopped by two security guards.

“Mr. Reedus could you please come with us?”

“Come on…! Why?”

He sighed heavenly and the annoyance in his voice was loud and clear. The two men simply looked back at him and one of them picked up of his bags.

“This way, sir.”

He threw out both arms in front of him in resignation but knew there was no point in arguing and followed the two men. He began to get really worried when they didn’t take him to the usual examination areas but took him through the authorized personal only door and continued through long corridors. Whenever he asked where they were going, they simply told him to keep moving.

“Can I call my girlfriend, letting her know I’m going to be late?”

“No.”

“Why the hell not? Where the hell am I going? Did I break any rules I’m not aware of?”

“Just keep walking, Mr. Reedus.”

When they had been walking for long enough for him to really want to protest they finally stopped and one of them men held open a heavy looking door for him and gestured for him to step through. To his utter surprise he stepped into the airport garage.

“Just making sure you’re getting home safe and sound, Mr. Reedus.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I thought you guys were going to tie me up somewhere and torture me.”

He let out a breath of relief when the two men grinned at him.

“Just following orders, sir.”

“What orders?”

“That would be mine.”

He spun around so fast he almost lost his balance when he heard her voice. She came out from the darkness right in front of him. She was wearing faded black jeans and her leather jacket and holding her helmet in one hand. When he looked closer he could see his own bike behind her and it made him want to jump her right away. She was the pure definition of sex on legs at that very moment and he grabbed her by the back of her head and shoved her into a deep kiss.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Sorry about the kidnapping.”

“Yeah, they really did scare the shit out me. Thanks though.”

He turned and nodded towards the two men.

“No problem. I’ll have these sent to your home right away.”

Norman simply nodded towards his bags and the two men before they left the couple alone in the dark parking garage.

“Ready to go for a ride, Mr. Reedus?”

“You’ve no idea. I love you so fucking much.”

Once more he kissed her and she threw her arms around his neck and held him tight. After more the 5 minutes of making out they finally pulled apart, both slightly out of breath.

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Jess. Let’s go home.”

“After you, baby.”

She handed him his helmet and jacket and he jumped right on the Tiger and she followed as so many times before, wrapping her arms around his waist. Before driving off, he grabbed one of her hands briefly and squeezed it. The bike started with ease and he let out a soft moan hearing the roar of the engine. He had really missed this and he was in no hurry to get home, they simply cruised through Atlanta and heading towards home.

They didn’t make it inside before they were in each other’s arms again. He had barley parked the bike in the driveway and dismounted before she was right in front of him, the helmet already on the ground. The second he took his helmet off, she launched at him and kissed him hard. He responded at once and before he knew how it had happened, he had undressed her jacket and worked on unzipping her jeans at the same time as her hand rubbed against his crotch. He was able to keep some commonsense though and had them move to the side of the house where the only thing that could be seen were woods. Not that he had neighbors that could see them but it felt a little to exposed to have her in the middle of the driveway. Instead he pushed her up against the side of the porch and she wrapped one leg around his waist.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you, baby. I’ve missed you so fucking much, Jessie”

“Me too. I’ve missed you too, Norm.”

His flick fingers pulled her jeans down around her thighs and quickly moved inside her panties. He pushed three fingers inside her, making her gasp and clung to his back.

“Shit…! Yes, baby please fuck me.”  

After working her soaking pussy for a while he added a forth finger and she bit down hard on his lower lip when his fingers stretched her even further. When his thumb began to rub against her clit she pulled away from his lips and gasped.

“Shit, shit, shit… Don’t stop, baby!”

She buried her head in his shoulder and started to move in the same rhythm his fingers were going. She had missed him so much she had had trouble sleeping at night and failed eating on a regular basis. Finally having him close by again made her breath easily, but now she really was gasping. She hadn’t been without sex for this long for nearly 5 months and she exploded around him after such a short time, it even surprised him.

“Now you really have been missing me haven’t you, baby?”

He sniggered in her ear as he released her and she put her foot back on the ground.

“You’ve no idea. Come on.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her as she made her way around the house and up on the porch. She pushed him down on the closest sunbed and straddled him. He leaned back and watch as she leaned back slightly to be able to open his pants.

“I love you, Jessie.”

He reached out a hand and caressed the side of her face. The gorgeous smile on his face turned into a moan and he threw his head back when she wrapped her hand around his cock and began to jerk him off.

“I love you too, Norman.”

She said before leaning down and allowed her tongue to dance over the tip of his hardness. She worked his length with both hands while sucking him hard enough for him to cry out.

“Shit, Jess! Fuck, I’ve missed you so fucking much, baby girl.”

She continued her treatment until she could feel his hand on her shoulder, demanding her attention. She lifted her head but allowed her hands to remain wrapped around him.

“What?”

“Take your pants off.”

She had stripped her shoes, jeans and panties within second and lowered herself around him, making both of them hold their breath. She stopped when she could feel his entire size fill her up and she stared to roll her hips around him.

“Jesus Christ!”

She began to really move up and down him within second and he leaned up and kissed her hard at the same time as he grabbed her hips and helped her bounce up and down around him. Out of nowhere the sky suddenly opened up and the rain started to pour down around them. She pulled away from the kiss and they looked at each other with huge grins on their faces.

“Welcome to Georgia, baby.”

She said, smiling and attacked his lips once more as she rode him fast and hard. She felt her orgasm began to build so deep within her that she had a hard time focusing. Her movements became so uncontrolled, she finally allowed him to take control. He turned them around and placed her on her back and her legs to his shoulder before beginning to move again. She grabbed the sides of the sunbed so hard her fingers got white.

“There’s no one to hear you out here, baby. Let it out.”

“Fuck….! Yes, baby! Shit, Norman!”

His name escaped her screaming lips over and over while her orgasm pulsed through her entire body. He followed, screaming her name on the top of his voice as well before collapsing on top of her.

“I fucking love Georgia.”

He chuckled and kissed her face, trying to bring her back to life. She had a huge smile on her face as he looked at her.

“I love fucking in Georgia.”

She replayed making both of the burst out laughing. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. His hair was dripping wet but thankfully it was an extremely hot late April evening and after what they just did, she knew they both needed to cool off. They simply lay there in the rain and watched and touching each other everywhere.

“You’re breaking the internet right now, you’re aware of that?”

“Yeah, my twitter account crashed…You’re ok with this?”

“It’s fine, Norm. It makes you even more lovable, if that’s somehow possible. I read some of the comments.”

“Don’t.”

“No, they were mostly really sweet actually. I mean you’ll never be able to please every fan on the planet but most of them are really great. I think I’ve blown my Instagram cover though.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I got 400 000 followers all of a sudden. I think the damn cat actually blow my cover.”

“Yeah, cause he’s the one that has been posting pictures of himself on your Instagram, Jess.”

“Well, he’s the only company I’ve had for two weeks.”

“And now you’re stuck with me, babe.”

“Thank God.”


	12. Marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Instagram accounts are all made up and if some of them actually do exists, I mean no disrespect... ;)

She pulled her wet panties on and headed back to the driveway to pick up their stuff while Norman moved inside the house. The rain was still pouring down and she was soaked to the bone. She groaned when she turned the helmets upside down and emptied them of water. It would take forever for them to dry. Not to mention their leather jackets. The rain made her deaf to the sound of the car approaching and she jumped a foot in the air when she stood straight again and Andy stood in front of her with an umbrella.

“Fuck...!”

“Sorry, babe didn’t mean to scare you.”

He almost yelled at her through the rain.

“Andy...Shit, you scared me!”

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

He looked her up and down and she could tell he put two and two together rather quickly when he noticed the items in her hands. He chuckled and shook his head at her.

“Shut the fuck up...!”

“Sorry, love. I would offer you some cover from this rain but it seems I’m like half an hour too late.”

She rolled her eyes at him before heading towards the front door. He followed and left the umbrella outside on the front steps, beside the helmets and jackets she left as well, before stepping inside after her.

“We got company.”

She called out from the hallway and Norman poked his head out from the fridge. He stepped back, only wearing a towel around his waist and placed the plate of leftovers in the counter before walking up to his friend.

“Welcome home, dude.”

They embraced each other.

“It’s good to finally be back. How did you know I was back?”

“Talked to this one last night.”

Andy nodded his head towards Jessie. He glanced over to his girlfriend but once he laid his eyes on her, he turned his entire body towards her and stared. She could have won any wet t-shirt competition in the world at that moment. The top was smeared to her wet body and he, as well as Andy, could make out the shape of her boobs and nipples crystal clear.   

“What?”

She asked, looking back at him. He eyed Andy quickly before scooping her into his arms and headed towards the master bedroom before she really had time to reflect over that he had moved.

“Stop the fucking drooling over my girlfriend, Andy!”

Andy laughed out loud when Norman playfully called back to him.

“Then don’t let her walk around half naked, man!”

He let her back down to the floor in the bathroom. She turned the shower on at once but hadn’t expected Norman to still be there when she turned back. She ran straight into his naked chest and he grabbed her hips to keep her from falling. Her hair was dripping water unto the floor and her wet feet were leaving footprints.

“You look cold, babe.”

He grabbed the hem of her tank top and she rose her arms above her head to help him undress her.

“You should go keep Andy company.”

“He can survive 5 minutes without me.”

“I’m still going to be here, you know. I’m not going anywhere. Go spend some time with Andy, I’ll be fine.”

He grounded and protested a little as she gave me a gentle nudge, making him take a step back from her. As he turned around, she snapped the towel away from his waist.

“Can I borrow that?”

“Sure thing, baby.”

He shook his naked ass at her and danced out of the bathroom, leaving her with a huge grin on her face as she stepped under the warm water.

_DaarylDiixon: You will burn in hell, whore!_

_1234Norman: Leave Norman alone bitch!_

_Dixonangle: You guys should leave her alone! What kind of fans are you? Whoever Norman’s dating is none of your fucking business!_

_Andysb-tch: What a beautiful girl, one lucky lady._

_HamiltonJessie: You’re my everything too, babe. Love you. XOXO. Thanks @Dixonangle._

_Dixonangle: OMG! It’s really truly you._

She ended up in bed after her shower and grabbed her laptop to do some scouting online. She really didn’t care what people thought about her and she really liked interact with the fans that showed her the respect she was entailed to so she was reading some of the replays to Norman’s Instagram photo of her and Eye in the Dark from a few weeks ago. People were still commenting and she decided to joined the conversation.  

_HamiltonJessie: IDK what mean by that @Dixonangel but I just really appreciate that you stick up for someone you really don’t know_ _J_

_Dixonangel: If you really are the Jessie Hamilton who’s dating Norman @HamiltonJessie, you’re one lucky girl. @bigbaldhead really is one sexy man._

_1234Norman: Leave him the fuck alone! You’re no good for him bitch!_

_Andysb-tch: @1234Norman, will you shut the hell up?! Show some fucking respect!_

_DaarylDiixon: A train wreck coming your way Norm…_

_HamiltonJessie: @1234Norman and @DaarylDiixon, how are you in any position to make any type or comments about this relationship in the first place? Do you know @bigbaldhead personally? As for @Andysb-tch (love the name btw ;) ) and @Dixonangel, thanks for setting a good example, I really appreciate it and I know Norman does too._

_Andysb-tch: I just watched the interview @bigbaldhead made yesterday. You’re one lucky girl to have someone who loves you so much. I really don’t know you but you’re one beautiful woman and you seem like one tough kid. Whatever happened to you in the past I’m sure it made you stronger and it got you to where you are today._

_HamiltonJessie: @Andysb-tch, wow thank you. If you want to know what happened to me, you can read my books from @_ [ _thekeypublishinghouse_ ](http://www.publishersglobal.com/directory/publisher-profile/10861/) _under the pseudonym Jenny Smith. I lost my family on 9/11._

_Dixonangel: You wrote “Sorry miss Smith but there’s been a terror attack in New York City?”@HamiltonJessie?_

_HamitlonJessie: Yes, that’s my first book @Dixonangel._

_Dixonangel: Second one is “To Neverland and back” right? I read them when they first came out. I’ve never cried so much reading a book before. But you didn’t know @bigbaldhead back then right?_

_Bigbaldhead: Stop kissing ass with my fans babe @HamiltonJessie ;) @dixonangel and @andysb-tch, thanx for sticking up for my girl ♥ and to answer your question, no we didn’t know each other back then._

_Andysb-tch: You’re one of the most beautiful looking couple I’ve ever seen @bigbaldhead and @HamiltonJessie. Really hope you guys make it last, you both deserve every bit of happiness you can find._

_Dixonangel: Agreeing with ↑ and like to add that you really should make that marriage become a reality ;)_ _J_

Marriage. Why was everyone so determent to see them get married? Andy had been the first but far from the last of bring the subject up. Maya had asked too and she knew he had been asked by friends and family too. She knew it was mostly because they really had been in and out of this relationship for 10 years now and apparently people seemed to think it was about damn time they settled down for real.

“So, how about it?”

She looked up from the screen and found him leaning to the doorway watching her while eating what looked like last night chili from a bowl.

“What…?”

The confusion turned into shock as she figured out what he was talking about. She quickly shook her head.

“No, no, no, no! Do not drop to one knee and propose right now! I’m fucking serious, Norm.”

“It’s a onetime offer, babe.”

“I don’t fucking care, do not ask me to marry you right now.”

“Why not? Would you say no?”

“Don’t push it, Norman!”

“Alright. It’s up to you then, J.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m leaving it up to you, babe. You will get to dropping to one knee and propose when the times comes.”

He bent down and kissed her shocked lips quickly.

“You’re kidding right?”

“Nope…And stop talking to the fans.”

“Why?”

“Jessie…”

He pleaded and she sighed but nodded her head.

“Fine. But you really don’t have to be some damn overprotecting, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, babe but you don’t have to anymore. Why did you blow the miss Smith cover?”

“Cause pretty much everyone has already figure out it’s me. And my publicist asked me to…”

“To increase the sales, yeah smart move.”

“It’s goes to charity so…”

He kissed her again before getting to his feet and heading back to Andy in the kitchen.

“Still time to change your mind.”

He said, winking at her from the doorway. She grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. It landed at his feet and he laughed.

“Get out.”

“Fine.”

He was halfway through the corridor when he heard her move, like he knew she would. He had time to put the bowl of food on the small table with photographs of his son on before he turned around and almost got knocked to the floor when she threw herself at him. The words he was about to speak got smothered when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.

“I love you, Norman Mark Reedus but please do not propose right now.”

“Scouts honor, baby.”

“Thank you.”

“Come eat something. This chili is amazing.”

“Glad you like it.”

“Since when do I not like your cooking?”

“It’s vegetarian chili.”

“Really?”

“Yup.”

He picked the food back up and sneaked his hand into hers before they made it back to the living room where Andy was launching on the couch with his feet on the table, looking like he had always been there. Like he had always lived there. And he probably had. He kissed the top of her hand when they parted ways. She headed to the kitchen to get some food and he took a seat beside his best friend and mimicked him by threw his feet up on the table as well.

“You really should marry him instead.”

Both of them looked up at her at the same time and then quickly at each other before bursting out laughing as they noticed their similar postures. She crawled up in one of the armchairs with her food and began to eat in silence.

Once the food was gone she remained in the chair just enjoying listing to the two friends go on and on about everything from Andy’s Christmas holiday with his family to the upcoming season 7 of Walking Dead. She was grateful she wasn’t asked to joined in on the conversation, they just let her sit there in her own little world, watching and old GoT episode on the TV but really just letting her mind wander.

Marriage had never really been on her mind. Marrying Norman had definitely not been on her mind before. Not that she really could see herself with anyone else but him but did they really need to get married because of that? Did he want to get married? She had always thought he didn’t believe in marriage, mostly because his parents had split and there really wasn’t anyone else then Andy who had made his marriage work and even they had been close to a divorce. She had decided to commit to this relationship and she really tried but in the curse of 4 months she had been faced with so many new possibilities. When Mingus first had asked if they were having a baby the thought had terrified her and now people wanted to know when they were getting married. It was a lot to process after only 4 months of dating and she had really needed these 2 weeks away from him to get her head wrapped around everything that had happened.

Sometime during her hours of sitting there, the cat joined her and crawled into a ball in her lap and fell asleep. Petting the black furball absentminded made her eyes drupe and the voices of Norman and Andy faded further away for each second that passed.

“Did you really mean to propose to her?”

“I don’t know… I know she would say no anyway so I guess I really didn’t mean it.”

“She doesn’t want to get married?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you?”

“Maybe. I mean there’s never going to be anyone else but her anyway so why the hell not?”

“You really think she can stop?”

“Stop what?”

“Sleeping around with everyone el…?”

“Shut up, Andy…! How many guys do you think she’s been with? You make it sound like she fucked the entire New York City!”

“Then tell me how many times you’ve actually caught her cheating on you.”

“She never cheating on me, cause we were never dating.”

“Screw that! Why the hell would you get so fucking pissed then?”

Norman glared at his friend for a second but as his question really registered with him, his face softens and he shrugged.

“Fine… But I’ve always had more feelings for her then she has had for me. Even from the beginning.”

“How many times have you caught her cheating on you, Norman?”

“Three.”

He saw his friend roll his eyes at him and he knew Andy didn’t buy it.

“Three time it really bugged me, ok? Those other times were just… You know, before things got beyond just sex.”

“Anyone after what happened with Jose?”

“No…”

“I really don’t get this, man. It’s so fucking hard to wrap my head around this. I mean she said… She’s asleep, right?”

“You’re kidding right? She can sleep through tornados.”

“Ok… When you guys were in London she said she first told you she loved you 2 years after you guys met. I’m guessing you said it first?”

“Yeah. After like a day…”

“Come on.”

“Well, ok not really a day but after like 6 months. She freaked out and didn’t speak to me for a month. We were over in Europe when she told me a year and half later. I’m not sure she really meant it. Everything was still so fucked up back then. I mean I know she loved me in her own twisted way but it’s not like it’s now.”

“She’s over her fucking head in love with you, man.”

“Yeah.”

He said, grinning from ear to ear as he said it.

“I was here last week, borrowing some stuff and she… She has been a mess, man.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she really missed you. I know I really don’t know her that well, I never took the time because it was just so fucking messed up but she’s growing on me, man. She probably hasn’t been eating or sleeping that good since she got here.”

“She said she needed some time on her own.”

“She probably did but I’m telling you, she really missed you.”

“What are you trying to say, Andy?”

“She loves you, dude. She really loves you. Not in her own twisted way, it’s real. I mean, she gets this look in her eye every time she sees you, it’s quite adorable actually. It’s just weird to think of her that way when…”

“You hated her at first.”

“I just never got it.”

“I know.”

_September 2013 – Georgia_

_“You wanna come with me to Andy’s? We’re having a pool party.”_

_Norman walked into the bathroom as she was getting ready for the day. He had the day off and they had spent the entire morning in bed. As lunchtime approached though, the hunger had driven them out of bed. He leaned to the doorway with a bowl of scrambled eggs and watched as she was standing in front of the mirror in only underwear and applied a light makeup. She looked up a_ _nd_ _watched him through the mirror._

_“Now?”_

_“Andy just texted me. A last minute thing.”_

_“Ok, sure. If we can take the bikes.”_

_“How else would we get there?”_

_She smiled and put the foundation away before stepping up to him._

_“Thank you.”_

_She took the bowl out of his hand and took a bite of the eggs as she walked back out to the bedroom, leaving him speechless in the doorway looking after her. It took him about 5 seconds to react. He caught her halfway to the kitchen and his hands sneaked around her waist and he pulled her hard to himself._

_“Hey….!”_

_She protested, almost dropping the food to the floor as he yanked her backwards in the middle of a step._

_“Give it back.”_

_He hissed and bit her earlobe lightly. She whined softly and leaned her head to his shoulder. She felt his hands loosen at once and she knew he thought he had won but she wasn’t done playing just yet. Gripping the bowl tightly, she quickly maneuvered out of his embrace and sprinted towards the stairs leading down to the basement._

_“Make me!”_

_She called back and quickly looked over her shoulder to find him only steps behind. They threw themselves down the stairs, both of them jumping the last three steps but she was still one step ahead of him._

_“Got you now, babe.”_

_She suddenly reached a dead end as she sprinted around the pool table towards the door to the garage but found that it was locked. She spun around and found him with his arms stretched wide, stopping her from passing. She glared for a second but finally realized he had beaten her for once. She sighed and held the bowl out for him to grab._

_“I don’t want that.”_

_He said before grabbing her arm and pulled her into his. He sat the bowl down on the table behind them as he leaned down to kiss her, grabbing the side of her neck._

_“I want you.”_

_“Then take me.”_

_She said between kisses. She yelped in surprise as he suddenly reached down and grabbed her ass in both hands and spun her around quickly and placed her on the pool table. He moved in between her legs and broke their kiss. She panted slightly when she looked at him and he simply looked back at her. When his hand landed on her chest with a gentle nudge, she tilted her head back and laid down. He ran his hand teasingly careful all over her upper body, making her arch her back and moan his name._

_“You’re so goddamn beautiful, Jessie. Look at me, baby. Show me those gorgeous eyes.”_

_Her eyes snapped open at his request and he grabbed her bent thighs and pulled her closer to the edge of the table and leaned closer to her to be able to really look at her. He knew her weakness lay in his eyes too and they looked at each other for a long time all while he kept running his hands all over her. Her breathing got stuck in her throat for a second when he tugged her panties off her. She tore her eyes away from his first and closed hers as she once more arched her back towards his hands, begging him to touch her where she needed him the most. He grabbed her hips in a tight grip and pushed h_ _ims_ _elf inside her hard._

_“God, yes….! Shit, baby.”_

_She could still to this day, after 7 years of having sex with him, be surprised over how quickly he could make her cum. He went slow and hard on her, touching every part of her craving pussy. He had learned quickly how she wanted it and through the years perfected his technique. He felt her body tense after not even 2 minutes and he knew he had his foreplay to thank for that but it still made him rather smug that he had the ability to make her feel so good. He stopped his thrusts as her orgasm pulsed through her, enjoying the feeling of her insides contracting around him too much to let the opportunity pass by._

_“Don’t stop.”_

_“Easy, love. I’m not done, I promise.”_

_“How the hell did you get so good? You’re fucking amazing, you know that?”_

_He bowed his head when he felt himself blush slightly but when he felt her sit up and grab him by his chin, he looked back at her._

_“You’re amazing, Norman.”_

_“Well, after 7 years of fucking you I sure would hope I learned something.”_

_“I learned somethings too.”_

_She smiled and swiped away the hair from his face as she moved her hips around him and pushed down hard on her insides, making him threw his head back and cry out._

_“Shit!”_

_“See? I know how you want it too.”_

_“Turn around, baby.”_

_She didn’t have to be told twice. Quickly she moved and turned around with her back to him. He put one of her feet up on the table and once he saw her wet pussy open up to him, he quickly bent and let his tongue dance over her swollen clit._

_“Holly shit!”_

_She cried out and balled up her fists so tightly her knuckles turned white as he continued to work his tongue and fingers all over her. Once again he didn’t have to work long to make her hit her climax._

_“Damn girl, you’re making my job real easy today.”_

_He stood, whipping his mouth as he did. This time though, he didn’t give her time to recover. He needed his own realize too bad to wait and he shoved himself inside her hard and quick. She pushed back against him and they quickly found the right rhythm, costing both of them to break out a sweat and gasping for air within minutes. He grabbed her long ponytail in one hand and held on tight as he felt his climax began. Right on que, she fell over the edge as well and they came together, screaming each other name’s as they had done so many times before._

_They arrived late as always and she stayed a minute longer then he did_ _in the driveway._ _She never liked getting to things like this with him. He had tried a few times and she knew why. He wanted the normal couples thing, like arriving hand in hand to a friend’s party. But she hadn’t been able to pull it off yet. At his place it was another matter, when no one else was watching but with friends and family around she always tried to stick to the background. He had accepted it a long time ago but he still tried now and then to get her to cross the line. She headed straight to the backyard instead of going through the front door after Norman. She liked Andy’s place best, she could always find her own little place by the pool area or maybe it was simply that she had spent most time there and had gotten used to it._

_She hadn’t expected to see so much people seeing as it had been a last_ _minute thing_ _, but the backyard and pool area was filled with cast and crew members. She quickly stripped of her jeans and sweater to her bikini and sat down with her feet in the cool water. Norman was already in the water and he came swimming straight up to her._

_“Hey… You ok?”_

_“Fine.”_

_He put both hands on her knees for a brief second but they both knew it wouldn’t go any further. He would sneak a kiss on her every now and then but it wasn’t much more then that when there were this much people around. Andy’s wife came over and talked to her when she took a seat in one of the sunbeds. Must people come to chat with her but it was mostly polite small talk. They all knew she preferred to be left alone._

_“You look like you could use a drink.”_

_She looked up from her phone and fond Jose with a plastic glass with a red drink in it. She accepted it and he joined her in the seat next to her. The actor had only been on a handful of episodes and she had only met him once or twice but everytime he had struck up a conversation with her. She wasn’t stupid enough to know why. He didn’t really hid the fact that he was flirting with her._

_“Thanks.”_

_“How’ve you been, Jessie?”_

_“Pretty good. How about you?”_

_“Great, just great.”_

_“Sorry you got killed.”_

_He chuckled and took a long drink of his beer._

_“Yeah, thanks…”_

_She kept up a surprisingly pleasant conversation with the man from Costa Rica and she was fully aware as to why that was. He reminded her of Josh. In the middle of nowhere though, Norman showed up and sat down by her feet._

_“Hey. Some food?”_

_He offered her a plate of grilled chicken. She shook her head at first._

_“Come on, J, you need to eat.”_

_He tried again and she rolled her eyes at him but decided to take the plate just to make him stop nagging her about it. The two men shared some small talk while all three of them ate and drank. Norman excused himself though after a while as Andy called for him from across the pool. Once he rose he grabbed her lightly by the chin and kissed her lips. She recoiled by surprise and looked questioningly at him._

_“You know you’re mine, right?”_

_He whispered so quietly against her lips that the other man didn’t hear him. She quickly took his hands away from her and glared at him as he left._

_“Didn’t know you guys were dating.”_

_“We’re not!”_

_“You’re sure about that?”_

_“Yes!”_

_“Ok then. Well in that case I would like to check out your bike. I hear it’s a pretty sweet ride you’ve got.”_

_“Absolutely.”_

_She grabbed a t-shirt that might have been Andy’s or Norman’s, she wasn’t sure, from the ground next to her seat. They both knew the moment they stepped out to the driveway away from everyone else, what was going to happen. She wasn’t really sure why she felt a need to do it, she never could explain it. But he had really pissed her off when he tried to claim her like his. She knew she really was his but she was nowhere near letting everyone else know that. He pretended to listen to her talk about the bike in front of them but they knew he was just being polite. He made the first move, grabbing her hand and pulled her close to his body. The hesitation came from both of them. She hadn’t allowed anyone else but Norman to kiss her for the past 7 years and she wasn’t going to change that today. When he got closer she shook her head slightly and he seemed confused at first but when she moved her pelvis into his, he seemed to understand he wasn’t being rejected._

_“No kissing on the lips…”_

_The confusion only lasted_ _for a second_ _more_ _but_ _he s_ _eemed to decide not to let it bother him. He began by kissing her check instead and traveled his lips down her throat while one hand traveled up under her shirt. They ended up on the side of the garage and he pushed her up against the wall. She_ _began palming his growing erection with one hand, earning her a low growl. But as she_ _ran her_ _other hand_ _through his hair_ _she_ _caught herself missing the long curls of Norman’s. It just felt wrong and she felt her mind wander a hundred miles away from where she really was. She could feel his hands inside her bikini bottom and she suddenly snapped open her eyes._

_She heard him before she saw him. Norman’s fist made contact with the side of Jose’s head and they were roughly pulled apart. The Hispanic man wasn’t going down without a fight though. Once he stood straight again with a broken lip, he threw a punch straight back at Norman._

_“Stop it!”_

_She tried to get in between both men but she was unsuccessful when she tried to reach out for Norman. He pushed her arm away from himself and aimed another punch at Jose._

_“Fuck!”_

_She cried out and threw both hands in the air in frustration but deiced to let the two men end their fighting on their own. Not many punches were delivered though Andy suddenly showed up out of nowhere and somehow ended up in between both cursing men. She stayed long enough to watch Norman pace behind Andy like a cage animal, more pissed then she had seen him in a long time. She could hear Andy shout at them but what his exact words were, she didn’t hear as she hurried to the backyard to collect her jeans and shoes and pulled them on in such a hurry everyone around her stared and Lauren tried to talk to her but she stalked straight back to her bike once she was dressed. Unfortunately, she had to make her way past the three men to get to her bike and the second Norman saw her again, he went straight for her._

_“No!”_

_She pushed him away when he grabbed her arm but he didn’t let her go. He yanked her and she staggered to a halt as she tried to make her way past him._

_“Let me the fuck go, Norman!”_

_Once more she shoved him in the chest and this time it was hard enough for him to get the message and let her go. She watched the other two men gape at her as she put her helmet on and raved the bike to life and speed off before either of them could protest. She hadn’t made it far enough though to miss Norman’s bike being kicked to life and she knew he was following her. She kicked in the next gear and increased the speed further, knowing she would lose her licenses if she got caught speeding like this but she didn’t give a fuck. She just needed to get home. The garage door had just gone up and she drove through it to park the bike when she heard his bike speed up the driveway behind her. She dropped the helmet to the concrete floor and stalked towards the side door leading into the house. She was halfway through the corridor towards the kitchen and living room when she heard his furious steps behind her. When she turned to face him, he was right in her face and he grabbed her hard and pushed her up against the wall._

_“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”_

_She wasn’t prepared for this level of anger coming from him. It had been years since she saw him this pissed at her. He was furious, his eyes all black. She had never been afraid of him and she wasn’t now ether but she was unprepared and it made her go into defensive mood at once._

_“Let me the fuck go, Norman!”_

_“No! What the fuck was that?! Fucking bitch!”_

_“Why the fuck do you care?! I can fuck whoever I want! I don’t have to ask your fucking permission!”_

_She gathered all her strength and shoved him away from her and headed for the kitchen. He followed half a step behind and grabbed her by the upper arm. She snatched it right back though and turned to glare at him._

_“You’re fucking mine! That’s why I fucking care!”_

_Once again he pushed her and she ended up with her back to the fridge. He pinned her arms hard to her side, making it impossible for her to get away from him this time. He rarely took advantage of his strength but now there was no escaping him._

_“What the fuck was all that this morning then?! Huh?! You’re fucking mine and you know it, Jessie!”_

_“I’m not fucking yours, Norman! You don’t get to claim me! Let me go!”_

_“No…! Are you fucking trying to hurt me right now?! Is this what this is all about?! Is this getting too serious for ya?! Is that it?!”_

_“No!”_

_She screamed back at him but they both knew at that very moment when she protested so violently that he really had hit home. She wasn’t going to go down without a fight though._

_“I’m not fucking yours, Norman! I’d what the fuck I wanna do! Including fucking your coworkers and there ain’t shit you can do about it!”_

_“Your fucking whore!”_

_He slammed her head hard into the metal behind her and she gasped as the pain shoot through the back of her head and her vision got blurry for a second._

_“Get the hell out of here! Get your fucking things and get out of my house, Jessie!”_

_He released her and took a step back from her but she didn’t move. She watched him as he turned his back to her and grabbed a bottle of Jack from the counter and picked up a glass. He slammed the glass unto the counter and pour himself a drink and emptied the glass straight away. He leaned heavily to the counter with both hands and hung his head, feeling the tears burn behind his closed eyelids._

_“I’m sorry…”_

_She stepped up behind him and she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head to his back. It wasn’t like her to apologize but she knew she had really fucked up this time around. Hell, she had felt it before Norman interrupted them. She shouldn’t have let Jose get that close. She heard him snort and he shook his head._

_“Baby? I’m sorry…. I fucking freaked out when you kissed me like that. In front of all those people… You know I can’t…. I’m all yours, Norman you know that but not… Why the fucking need to mark your territory all of a sudden?”_

_“Cause that fucker has been flirting with you everytime you’ve seen him and he needed to know you’re mine. And don’t fucking turn this around on me, Jess! You’re the one fucking up, not me!”_

_He shoved her arms away from himself and turned around to face her. She groaned in frustration and threw her hands out._

_“You’re pushing the fucking wrong bottoms right now, Norm! Since when do we show affection for each other out in public?! You fucking pissed me off!”_

_“So that give_ _s_ _you the fucking right to go fuck someone else?!”_

_“I’m not yours to claim, Norman! You’re not mine to claim, we’re not fucking married…! If you really want me to leave, I’ll leave.”_

_“I want you to fucking try to explain what the hell is going on inside your heard right now. Do you like this, Jessie?! Do you honestly like to hurt me like this? Coz you’re a fucking expert at it, babe… I feel like I could fucking kill you right now… Well, kill Jose actually.”_

_“I don’t know…! Ok? I don’t know what the fuck happened, it just did. You pissed me off when you kissed me. I freaked, ok? It got so real all of a sudden. I know that’s what you want. You want me to be yours all the way but we never fucking make it work and I know it’s my fault but I… I can’t do it, Norman. Not right now. Maybe someday but outside these fucking walls, you have no claim on me.”_

_“But I do. You’re always going to be me mine, Jessie and I’m always going to be yours. Cause that’s how fucked up this is. It doesn’t matter if you leave now, cause you’re just going to come back in a few weeks anyway. We’ve done this fucking ride before…”_

_He sighed heavily and turned to pour himself another drink. The burning alcohol was a welcome relief and the anger subsided slightly. He drank half of it before lowering the glass again. When he began to twist it between his hands she stepped up right in front of him and grabbed it from his hands. She finished the drink in one swift move and placed the glass on the counter behind them. Her arms landed around his waist once more and at first he simply stood there, scowling at her but he had never been able to stay mad at her for a longer period of time. He grabbed her face between both hands and sighed as he felt the anger turn into frustration. She always managed to win him back. She could fuck a 100 guys and he would still take her back. Because that was how fucked up their relationship always had been and sometimes he feared that it would always be that way. His mind was in a complete state of chaos when she got up on her toes and kissed him. Not even 5 minutes earlier he had felt the urge to strangle her and now there wasn’t anything more he wanted then to make their two bodies become one. She messed him up and the fucked up thing was that a small part of him loved it. So he gave in like so many time before and kissed her right back. It got rough and quick as they began to tare cloths from each other and he had her on the kitchen floor within seconds._

_“Say it.”_

_He pinned her down with his whole body as he pushed himself inside. She gasped and threw her head back, exposing her neck and he attacked her with his lips as he sped up. He felt her nails dig into his back as she tried to get him closer._

_“Fucking say it, Jessie! Say you’re mine!”_

_She pushed her hips to meet him and they began to move together and she exploded around him._

_“Fuck, Norman…! I’m yours! I’ve always been yours. Shit…! I’m all yours, baby. Always.”_

_She gasped and held on to him for dear life as he pounded her pussy until they both climaxed together and collapsed in a heap of arms and legs tangled together so tightly it was hard to tell who’s legs where who’. She fell asleep right there on the floor, while stroking his head that was resting on her chest. Twisting his dark curls between her fingers and feeling him still inside of her made her strangely relaxed and she drifted off to an exhausted and dreamless sleep._

_Andy knew his friend probably needed some space after what had gone down at the pool party the day before and he had therefore chosen not to call him. He knew Norman would call him if he needed to talk. When he finally came to set the morning after though, he could literally feel his jaw drop the ground. Jessie was getting off_ _t_ _he bike behind him as he parked outside his trailer. He had expected the bitch to be halfway back to New York by now._

_“Morning.”_

_Norman grunted his morning greeting as he approached his friend. Wordlessly Andy held out a coffee for him, while narrowing his eyes at the woman._

_“Don’t…”_

_He begged but for once Andy wasn’t able to shut his mouth but attacked Jessie the moment she looked back at him._

_“You got some nerve to show up, you know that?”_

_“Oh, fuck you, Andy!”_

_Jessie fired back before trying to walk past him into Norman’s trailer, but Andy stood his ground and blocked her way._

_“Really, man let it go.”_

_“Let it go?! You’re kidding, right?”_

_“It’s none of your fucking business, Andy! Get out of my way!”_

_“You’re the fucking reason he ended up with a black eye yesterday!”_

_“I didn’t fucking punch him, remember?! He got into that fight all on his own…”_

_“There wouldn’t have been a fight in the first place if you could just stop fucking every guy that comes your way!”_

_They stood so close to each other that she could almost feel his angry, heaving chest touch her and the anger stopped her from running through_ _the_ _next words in her head before they came out._

_“You didn’t seem to mind when it was you that came my way!”_

_The second after she spoke she quickly stepped back from him and made a quick sweep around them. They were thankfully quite alone but she knew she had crossed the line even though no one else were there to hear their secret. It looked like Andy stopped breathing._

_“I’m sorry…”_

_She quickly tried to smoother over her mistake of reminding him that he actually had done a lot worse than just kissed another guy._

_“I’m sorry, Andy. I didn’t mean to… Sorry, I brought it up.”_

_She quickly moved around him and made it into Norman’s trailer before Andy had time to replay to her statement. She was right of course. He had cheating on his wife in a way that was way worse than making out_ _,_ _pushed up against a wall._

_“Told you to drop it.”_

_“Yeah… Sorry, dude.”_

_“No reason to apologize to me, Andy. She can take care of herself. Trust me, I wanted to kill her yesterday too.”_

_“What did you do instead?”_

_“Fucked the shit out of her on the kitchen floor.”_

_He said and winked, making Andy burst out laughing and they sat down to drink their coffee while going through today’s work._


	13. Let's talk about sex

When she crawled into bed he was already asleep most nights as the filming began in May. He was so exhausted after a day at work that they usually just ate before he fell asleep. Sometimes they didn’t even make it through dinner and he would be knocked out on the couch while she cooked. Weirdly enough she loved it. She loved taking care of him and she really didn’t mind that for the past weeks they hadn’t have sex on a regular basis. It had usually been in the mornings or when he had gotten back from work and she had joined him for a shower or bath. The sex had always been such a big part of their relationship and now they had to find new things to keep them busy. Well, she had to find new things to keep herself busy. He was busy enough but within a week she started to grow restless. She liked hanging out on set with him but she needed something on her own. So she began to do researches about maybe starting to dance again. She began by practicing at home first. It had been so long since she did any professional dancing and she was a bit rusty. She had done it all on Broadway, everything from classic ballet to Michael Jackson and she knew her resume and family name could give her any job she asked for, but she wanted to be able to stand on her own two feet, not just be the daughter of the Hamilton’s. So she rearranged the furniture in the living room, creating a big open space for her to practice in front of the big windows looking out over the Georgia woods. She put the first thing on that popped into her head when she wanted to just let loss. The first beats of Michael Jackson’s _Billie Jean_ made her go back at least 15 years back in time and it was as easy as breathing as the music filled every fiber of her body and she started moving without thinking.

 

“Baby, I’m ho…me.”

Norman stopped in the middle of the living room as he entered the house on May 16th and found her bending over with her hands flat pressed to the floor.

“What are you doing?”

He looked around the changed layout of the room.

“Stretching.”

She looked at him through her knees as he approached.

“Ok… Why? What have you been up to today?” 

“Practicing.”

He stopped a step behind her and took in her appearance. She was wearing baggy sweatpants and a sports bra with a bandana tying her hair back. He couldn’t stop himself when he felt his dick jump to life just by watching her gorgeous behind. As she was still bending over, he ran one hand gently over the small of her back down to her ass. She let out a soft moan as his hands caressed the back of her thighs and up in between her legs. When she stood, he wrapped his arms around her and took a steady grip of her ass and pushed her to him. The music was still playing and he recognized the first words of the Ed Sheeran’s song _Thinking out loud._

“Dance with me.”

She grabbed him around his waist and began to move her hips, making him follow her in the slow beat. They danced through the living room, she mostly guiding him but she got surprised both once and twice when he took the lead.

“All this dancing and touching is making someone very happy.”

She grinned at him as the last notes of the song faded and she slowed their movements. He knew she could feel his hardness press against her lower abdomen and he smiled back at her.

“You’re just so fucking sexy… God, I’ve missed you today, baby.”

Once he kissed her there were no more talking. He moaned into her mouth as he felt her hand drop to his crotch and she quickly worked his jeans open and grabbed him tightly in one hand. He backed them closer to the couch and she dropped his jeans to the floor before breaking the kiss to look at him.

“Sit down.”

She pushed at his shoulder and made him sit down on the couch. She dropped to her knees on the rug in front of him and ran her hands all over his soiled cock.

“I’ve missed you too, baby.”

She said before putting him inside her mouth. He closed his eyes and let out a long breath of contentment.

As she let the tip of her tongue dance over his entire length and she rolled his balls in her hands, he suddenly grabbed her by the arm. He didn’t have to use words to let her knew what he wanted and she was more than willing to obliged. She quickly stepped out of her sweats and panties before straddling him. They moaned together as she lowered herself all around him and began to move at once. She needed her realize just as much as he did and she rode him quick and hard. She came twice in a row and as the second orgasm tore through her, he grabbed her hard by the side of the head and forced her lips unto his. They muffled each other’s scream of pleasure as they fell over the edge together. It was a good thing they did, cause in the middle of coming back down from their high, they could both hear the unmistakable sound of the front door opening and someone stepped inside the house.

“Dad? Jess?”

Before ether of them had time to move, the teenager rounded the corner and spotted them on the couch. Jessie was facing him and she was very thankful at that point that they had chosen the right couch and she hadn’t take all her cloth’s off. There was nothing for him to see but the scene in front of the teenager didn’t leave much over for his imagination.

“Mingus…!”

Jessie cried out in shock as she met his gaze. She tried desperately to get her breathing under control but she already knew Mingus was fully aware of what he had walked in on. 

“Hey…. How about I just walked back outside and you guys can get dressed again and I’ll be back in 5 minutes?”

“Yeah, probably a good idea.”

“Ok, then.”

He back away a few steps before turning around and heading out the front door again. Jessie could hear him chuckle to himself and the moment the door closed she broke down in a hysterical giggles.

“Shut the fuck up….! That was not funny.”

“Come on, baby.”

She leaned back slightly to look at him. He was flushed and tried to scowl at her at first but seconds later he burst out laughing too. She laughed with him and pulled away the strains of hair that clung to his sweaty face.

“You still got blood in your hair.”

 “Yeah… Could you get off my dick now please?”

“Fine.”

He grabbed her hips and lifted her off himself, making both of them groan. He placed her on her back beside him on the couch as he pulled his underwear and jeans back up. She watched him with one hand on her heaving stomach and one behind her head.

“J?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

He bent down over her with his hands resting on either side of her head and kissed her. Once the kiss began it seemed neither of them wanted it to end. He even crawled on top of her and she grabbed his waist.

“Come on…!”

Norman stopped abruptly when he once again heard his son call out. This time he turned to look at him over the back of the couch.

“Sorry… But I’m dressed and it’s not actually been 5 minutes.”

“You want me to go back out again?”

“No.”

He kissed her lips once more before getting to his feet. Although she really didn’t mind being without cloths, practically being naked in front of Mingus after screwing his father, didn’t seem like the best thing to do. While Mingus was distracted greeting his father, she slipped on her sweatpants while still laying down on the couch. She heard Norman excuse himself for the bathroom and she stayed a second longer on the couch, taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart. She failed to hear the muffled footsteps of the teenager and called out in surprise when he stuck his head into her line of vision.

“Hey!”

He grinned.

“Fuck….! Mingus, don’t do that!”

She sat up and hit his shoulder when he laughed at her. He walked around the couch and bounced down beside her.

“Lost something?”

He bent and picked up the black panties she had worn but not bothered to put back on. She glared and snatched them from him.

“This is what you get for just showing up like this, get use to it.”

“Yeah, I’ll remember to call next time.”

“You’re always welcome you know that, Mingus.”

“I know. Why the hell do you think I’m here?”

“Everything ok?”

“Just needed a break from mom…”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah….”

“Wanna talk about it?”

The young man turned to look at her and she looked right back. He seemed to consider her offer for a while but finally shook his head.

“Ok. Just know you can talk to your dad or me if you need to.”

“I know. Thanks, Jessie. What have you been doing here?”

He nodded around the living room.

“I had to free some space for practicing.”

“Practicing what?”

“I’m thinking about going back to dancing…. Not like on Broadway again but maybe teaching or something. I just wasn’t sure I still got it in me.”

“That’s awesome.”

“Don’t tell your dad though.”

“Why?”

“Cause he gets too excited and wants to help.”

“So?”

“I need to do this on my own. Not as Daryl Dixon’s girlfriend, you know?”

“Oh... Yeah, I guess I can understand that. You know he would let you do it on your own if you told him to though, right?”

“Probably but he really sucks at not wanting to help me. He would pull off a week or two at most and if nothing had happened before then, he would find a way around.”

“True. He loves you too much.”

“Yes he does.”

“Can I stay for a few days?”

“You can stay as long as you want. Just call Helena. She knows you’re here right?”

Mingus tore his eyes away from her and looked down on the floor.

“Mingus! Helena knows you’re here, right?”

Jessie turned to him and grabbed his arm. He looked back at her but snapped his head around when both of them heard Norman approach.

“Call her right now, Mingus.”

Norman held out his own phone to his son. Mingus ran up from the couch and knocked the phone away from himself as he rose.

“Stop the fucking nagging…!”

Norman threw his arms up in defense and backed away from his son’s anger.

“Ok, ok, ok. I’ll call her.”

Without looking at either of them, Mingus stalked to the staircase and jumped two steps at the time up the stairs to his room. He left a loud silence behind him and both adults just stood staring at each other.

“What the hell was that?”

Jessie finally spoke but Norman couldn’t do anything else then simply shake his head in confusion. He wasn’t use to his son lashing out like this.

“I don’t know.”

“You should call his mom.”

She could see the hesitation in his movements as he kept looking back and forth between the phone in his hands and the upstairs.

“I know what you’re thinking but you need to give him some space right now.”

He nodded once before walking off to the kitchen as he searching for Helena’s number and pressed call. She picked up right before he was about to give up.  

“Hey, Norman.”

“Hi, Helena. How’re you doing?”

“Fine, just fine. What about you?”

“Fine… Just… Have you talked to Mingus today?”

“Not since he left for school this morning. Why?”

“Did something happen?”

“Did he call you?”

“Not exactly. He’s here.”

“What?!”

“Yeah. He showed up like 10 minutes ago. He said he needed a break. Is everything alright?”

“It’s been a couple of rough days. He’s been very moody and just angry. I tried to talk to him this morning but he ended up storming out of the apartment. I tried to call but I figured he just went to school.”

“Do you want me to get him back?”

“No, he can stay if that’s what he wants… Is Jessie there?”

“Yes, we live together, Helena.”

“For however long that last this time.”

“Come on, Helena please don’t start this shit again. I’m really not in the mood.”

“You need to consider the possibility that this, whatever the fuck is going on and has been going on, between you and Jessie, might be the reason for this.”

“I’ll talk to him, ok?”

The line fell silent a couple of heartbeats before he heard her sigh deeply and he knew she was shaking her head.

“Fine.”

With not as much as a goodbye she hung up on him and he cursed before putting the phone down on the counter. She was there to put a comforting hand on his forearm and the other at the small of his back.

“Hey… It’s going to be ok.”

He hung his head but nodded, trusting her words without a second though. She nodded back and kissed his check.

“I’m going to take a shower. There’s some food in the fridge.”

 

He had knocked on his son’s door early in the morning and asked him through the closed door if he wanted to come to set with him, but he had been greeted with a loud protest and “leave me alone!” His entire body had protested when he left but he knew there was no use in arguing with his son and he had left for work that morning with half his mind still back home.

Jessie tried to ignore the fact that they had a moody teenager in the house the entire morning but as lunch approached and he still hadn’t made a sound, she went against her own advice from the night before and knocked on his door. She heard him grunt and she took it as an invitation to enter. He was sitting in the middle of the bed with his laptop as she opened the door. She decided not to step inside though but leaned to the doorway.

“Come on down and have lunch with me.”

“I’m not hungry.”

He didn’t look up from the screen.

“Now that’s a goddamn lie. Mr. Reedus. You’re always hungry. Move your ass downstairs and come eat with me. Homemade baconbugers and fries.”

She could see a small smile on his lips and he lifted his eyes an inch and muttered something she couldn’t really hear. But it was all she needed. She nodded and left the room, door still open and headed back downstairs. She was just about done with her own plate of food when he came dragging his feet and he sat down on the opposite side of the table from her. She had to bit her tongue a few times but she never spoke to him. They simply sat there and ate in silence. He even helped her clean up once they were done and yet she didn’t say a word to him. He seemed to find this very odd and she caught him looking at her in confusion a few times. When she grabbed two containers of ice cream from the freezer and handed him his favorite, did he finally speak.

“I’m dating someone.”

She looked at him for a second before gesturing towards the living room sofa and they headed towards it at the same time. She sat and turned to him as she began eating her ice cream. He simply stabbed the ice cream in his hands at first.

“I know. Your dad told me a while ago. How long?”

“Three months or something now.”

“Ok. What’s the problem?”

“We haven’t… You know…”

He trailed off and poked the ice cream even harder. It took her a few seconds to figure out what he meant but when she did, she nodded and put a hand on his stabbing arm.

“You haven’t had sex yet?”

He looked up at her and nodded.

“Why is that a problem?”

“Because she wants to but….”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t know… I guess. I just…”

“Stop killing the fucking ice cream, Mingus…! It’s the first time?”

“Hmm…It’s not hers and I’m just…”

“Scared you’d fuck up?”

“Something like that.”

“Have you told her it’s the first time?”

“I can’t do that! She’ll think I’m a fucking loser or something if I tell her that.”

“Listen, if that’s the kind of girl this chick is, do yourself a favor and dump her ass right away. I can guarantee that she would’ve like to talk about it before her first time too and she probably didn’t. If you’re not comfortable talking about sex with this girl, you’re not ready to actually have sex with her. Have you done other things?”

“Yeah.”

“And how was that?”

“Come on, Jess I can’t…”

“I didn’t mean like that… I mean could you talk about it? Before? After?”

“I guess… She wanted to take it further but I… I wasn’t really prepared for it.”

“And you told her?”

“Yeah. I said I didn’t have any condoms so we couldn’t.”

“Really…? Wow, I’m so proud of you!”

She actually beamed and kissed his forehead hard. He protested wildly but it was with a smile on his face as she pulled away.

“Come on!”

“Safety first, good boy…Do you want to have sex with this girl?”

“I think so.”

“If you’ve been able to talk about the other stuff you’ve done and she was ok with it, I’m sure you could explain the situation to her about this too. You’ve all right to be nervous about it, Mingus.”

“What was it like for you?”

“My first time you mean…? I was 17 and the guy was in college so he was a bit older than me.”

“Did you want to?”

“Sure. But I wasn’t completely sober so that probably helped. It was fine but if I could go back I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Did you ever do it when it was… You know, the guy’s first time.”

“Yes. I’m not going to lie to you, Mingus. It will be quick. Don’t try to tell yourself differently because it will only make things worse. You will be nervous and you should be but as long as you talk about it I’m sure it’s going to be fine. Don’t complicate shit and try some karma sutra crap, keep it simple. It’s her first time too, remember? Her first time with you, it’s new to the both of you.”

He looked at her for a solid 10 seconds before finally beginning to eat his ice cream.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true. I never thought about that. When was the first time for you and dad?”

“We met at party for a mutual friend back in August of 2006.”

“So how long did it take from you guys met until you had sex the first time?”

“About 10 minutes.”

Mingus stopped with the spoon in the middle of the air and gaped at her with his mouth wide open. When he finally found his voice again he almost shouted at her.

“What?!”

“Yeah…”

“In the fucking bathroom or what? In the middle of the party?”

“No. In the elevator leaving the party. We were going to my place a few blocks away but we… Well, I couldn’t wait.”

“It’s good, right? Now?”

“Do you really want me to talk about this? Cause I will tell you if you want to know but it is your father we’re talking about.”

“I just want to know if it’s… It gets better, right?”

“Of course it does. You’ve got time, Mingus. Your dad and I have had 10 years or practice. You learn pretty quickly what your partner likes and doesn’t like, but you’ve to talk about it. Things just doesn’t work out if there no communication. Especially in the bedroom.”

“What about before….? Before the actually…?”

He tried to get the words out but they seemed to get stuck in his throat. She knew where he was going though and helped him out.

“You mean foreplay…? It’s always a good idea, but seeing as it’s your first time and that you really want to go all the way, whenever you feel ready for it , it’s probably not a good idea to let her perform any foreplay on you, if you know what I mean?”

“But that’s kinda the best part….”

“Trust me, there’s a better part. For both of you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but you’re going to have to ask your father about that, I can only speak for myself but the act after the foreplay is always so much better. At least with your dad.”

“What if she doesn’t like it? If she doesn’t… You know?”

“Get off….? She probably won’t. That’s what I mean about using foreplay on her. Make sure she gets hers before you move on. Must girls actually don’t get off simply by… penetration, they need a bit more.”

“Can you?”

“Damn, Mingus this is getting weird…. But yes, I’m lucky. Lucky enough to have someone who knows just how to get me off.”

“More than once, right? I mean, you know I can hear you guys and it really doesn’t sound like it’s ever a problem for you.”

“Fuck, Mingus don’t…Don’t listen too much.”

“You’re loud, Jess!”

“Sorry…  But I really don’t have a problem getting off and that’s thanks to your dad, he has always been very selfless in the bedroom. Don’t compere yourself to others though, don’t listen to all the stories your friends tell you. Majority of them are lying about what their first time was like. And for god’s sake do not compare yourself to us. I know you’ve heard and seen more then you should but we’ve had a lot of time to get to this. You’re 16, Mingus.”

“What’s your record?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re pretty damn crazy once you get together again after a break up or whatever it is you guys have done in the past. What’s the record for one day?”

“I really don’t know, but we have had days, weekends, that has been… Insane. Your dad has been blessed with the ability not to need that much to get going so it can get pretty intense.”

“I don’t really have that problem either.”

“Good for you… Just remember to use protection. I know it’s a drag but for both your sakes, use a condom.”

“Do you?”

“No but I’m on birth control and I haven’t been with anyone else for the past two and half years and for your dad it’s been quite a bit longer as far as I know anyway. And I’ve gotten tested twice a year the past 10 years and you really should too if you decided to keep having sex with this girl or someone else.”

“You’ve been with other guys besides dad?”

“Yes… But that was before it got… You know before we got to where we’re right now.”

“When dad talked to me about this, when he tried to explain it all, he said you never cheated on him because you were never really dating.”

“He actually said that? Well, that’s not really true, he’s being too nice.”

“I knew that. He can’t really lie.”

“No he can’t. The thing is that I never really saw it as cheating either because we really weren’t dating, but I know he got really hurt a few times it happened.”

“He always did love you more then you love him back then.”

“Yeah…”

“When’s the last time it happened?”

“September 2013. That’s the last time I was with someone else. Although it never really got all the way cause your dad caught us.”

“Here?”

“No. At Andy’s.”

“What did he do?”

“When he caught me? Punched the other guys in the face and got a black eye in return before Andy managed to stop it.”

“Do I know the guy?”

“Yes…. It was Jose. It was just a stupid thing that happened. I got pissed at your dad for no reason really and I wanted to get back at him and Jose was very willing if you know what I mean? It was the last time though, cause it felt like I really was cheating on him too.”

“How did you guys work it out?”

“As we always have… Shutting and fighting. He slammed my head into the fridge over there and told me to get the hell out of here.”

“And 5 minutes later you were having sex, right?”

“Yes… Promise me you won’t try to find something like what we have had, Mingus. It’s not right, you know that. What I’ve had with your dad for the past 8-9 years isn’t right. It’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”

“I know that. What you have now though… That’s the way it should be. You’re the new relationship goal couple on social media, you know.”

“Come on…”

“It’s true. You haven’t seen the new hashtag? Normie?”

“Normie? What the hell is that…? Oh, you mean like Rickly for Rick and Daryl?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s crazy… You want to head out?”

“You’re going to set?”

“Whatever you wanna do.”

“We could go out on set.”

“Ok, great… Are you going to talk to your dad about this?”

“Not all of it. It’s easier to talk to you.”

“Do you want me to talk to him? I mean can I tell him you talked to me?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Talk to him too, Mingus. He could probably give you a little better advice then me when it comes to guys first time.”

“Ok, I will. Thanks, Jessie.”

He placed the ice cream on the table in front of them and half rose to kiss her check.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mingus.”

“I’ll just go and get dressed and we can go, ok?”

“Sure. You wanna take the bike?”

“Absolutely.”

He said before rushing up the stairs, leaving her to clean up their desert. She was waiting for him at the front door when the phone in her jeans pocket buzzed.

_Are you alive?_

The text from Norman put a smile on her face.

_No. Your crazy ass son went bananas this morning and chopped my head off with a blunt knife_

_So not fucking funny!_

_Sorry. We’re fine. We’re coming out to see you in a sec_

_Did he talk to you?_

_Yes_

_Is he ok?_

_Yes_

_What is going on?_

_He’s having girl problem_

_Do you think I should talk to him about it?_

_Yes. Go out and do something with him tonight_

_Ok. See u soon?_

_Yes_

_I love you_

_Love you too_

 

Norman took a deep breath and looked out over the lake and leaned back on his hands behind his back. His son was a few feet in front of him by the edge of the water, crouching so he could feel the water. He still wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that his own son had chosen to turn to his girlfriend instead of him. One part of him was glad though that Mingus felt comfortable enough around her that he talked to her but it made him slightly annoyed at the same time. He had to restrain himself not to just shake his son and force him to talk about what made him so damn moody. Jessie had told him Mingus was having girl problem but he didn’t want to be the one starting the conversation.

The sun was setting behind the trees and they had been out there a good half hour in silence before Mingus finally made his way over to his father. He sat down a little in front of him and kept his eyes on the water as he finally spoke. Talking to Jessie had really helped but he knew he wouldn’t be repeating even half of what they talked about but he needed his father’s input to his problem.

“How old were you when you had sex for the first time?”

Norman stared at the back of his son’s head so long he was surprised it didn’t catch on fire. He stuttered the first words that came out but quickly cleared his throat.

“Ah… I… I was your age. Yeah, I was 16.”

“Were you nervous?”

“Yeah. So damn nervous…”

“Was it her first time too?”

“No, she was like 2 years older.”

“How was it?”

“It was… Fine, I guess. It’s hard to tell, seeing as I had nothing to compared it to, you know. But it was fine. Pretty quick though… You’re thinking about doing it because you really want to though, right? Not because everyone else is starting to have sex?”      

“A little bit of both maybe. I want to but I’m fucking scared, dad…”

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“No. It’s not her first time either.”

“How do you know? Did you talk about it?”

“No but she has been dating a mutual friend.”

“If you want one piece of advice...”

“Yes please.”

“It will be a lot better for both of you if you actually talk about it first. She’s probably nervous too, remember that. She might have done it before, but not with you.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes. For God’s sake, make sure you’re alone and that there’s no one to come bursting in on you. The last thing you need is something to add on to the stress. You know you can always stay at my apartment.”

“Yeah I know. I sort of already have.”

“Good... I’m guessing Jessie gave you the same advice though.”

“Yes. It was easier to talk to her first but it doesn’t mean…”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I get it. I’m glad you can talk to her. But I’m also glad you decided to talk to me. It wasn’t all you talked about was it?”

Sometimes he even surprised himself how well he seemed to know Jessie. He couldn’t even explain to himself how he knew Mingus had been told more then he probably should when he talked to Jessie.

“No…”

Mingus couldn’t hide the snigger that came out.

“I’m not sure I even want to know…”

“It wasn’t that bad, dad. She only told me about your first time… Is that why you never seem to be able to step inside an elevator without starting to making out?”

“It is indeed…Why did she tell you that?”

“Cause I asked of course.”

“I’m not sure I like that you’ve gotten so close to her.”

“Yeah you do.”

Mingus finally turned around and looked at his father with a huge smile on his face.

“Yeah, you’re right, I do. I love you, Mingus.”

“I love you too, dad.”


	14. Moving on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all kinds of comments are always welcome :)

As May progressed he quickly noticed how she changed. She was keeping something from him and it bugged the hell out of him. She had been spending a lot of time in Atlanta lately. A lot of late nights and long hours at the time. She was always so tired whenever she got back at night that she would fall asleep before he had the chance to talk to her and frankly he was too tired as well. Mingus had stayed with them for a few days and they had both spent a lot of time with him on set but once his son left, her trips to Atlanta had begun. He had brought it up a few times but she always somehow managed to wriggle out of the conversation without answering his questions. He knew she was entitled to her own life but he wanted her to want him to be included in whatever it was she had going on in her life at the moment. And frankly it did even make him a bit suspicious and jealous.  

  
"Baby?"

  
He laid down behind her in bed and put one hand on her hip. She was still asleep although it was past noon. He leaned down and kissed her naked shoulder, trying to get her back to the land of the living. She muttered and spun around and crawled into his arms. He smiled to himself and kissed her forehead as he wrapped his arms around her. 

"I love you." 

She said, her voice full of sleep. 

"I love you too, babe. I'm going to New York tomorrow, remember?"  
"Is it Fleet Week already?"  
"Yes... Where've you been the past week, Jess? Cause it sure hasn't been here with me."  
"I'm sorry, Norman."  
"Are you cheating on me?"  
"Yeah... With 16 teenage boys and girls."

She finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. He frowned at her in confusion. 

"I'm working in a dance studio in Atlanta. I just stated my first hiphop class."  
"Why haven't you told me? That's awesome, baby."  
"I didn't tell you cause I had to do this on my own. I know you would try to help and I love you and Daryl but I wanted this to be all me. You know?"  
"Of course. I understand that but I would have liked to support you. But it's really awesome, babe. How did you start this? I didn't even know you wanted to start working again."  
"I didn't really know myself until I actually stepped inside the studio 9 days ago. I was just going to watch but I ended up talking to the owner and she knew who I was. She asked me to show her what I could do and like 2 hours later she had a signed me a 16 person’s group of an advanced hiphop/street class. It was the second time yesterday."  
"You're teaching a full class?"  
"It was full within 36 hours."

He beamed at her as he crawled on top of her and kissed her hard. 

"I'm so proud of you, baby."  
She beamed right back at him and thanked him. He grabbed hold of her face and his fingers lingered on it as he spoke again.  
"Dose this mean I've to go to New York on my own?"  
"Maybe. Sorry..."  
"Begging won't help?"  
"It depends. How bad do you want me to come with you?"  
"Pretty please?"  
"Tell me why."

He began planting kisses all over her face and down her throat towards her chest as he began to talk.

"Cause I'm fucking crazy about you, J. It physical hurts to be away from you. I get headaches and I can't sleep when you're not beside me. And I haven't seen you in like forever. We haven't had sex since Mingus got here 2 weeks ago and I miss you like crazy. And there's going to be all these hot sailors in uniform at the party."

His hand disappeared under the thin silk garment covering her.  

"I'd love my men in a uniform."  
"See? Knew I could convince you."  
"You're got me at the physical hurting part. Cause it's the same for me. But I've to be back on Sunday."  
"Ok, sure. I'll be back Wednesday."  
"Has it really been 2 weeks without sex?"

She asked and gasped slightly as his hand came in contact with her breasts. She closed her eyes and whished for this moment never to stop. Her body had really missed his touch and it wasn’t until he actually touched her, that she realized it had been too long since they had made love.

"Yeah, I guess my mind has been somewhere else. I'm sorry."  
"No reason to apologize, baby."  
"You really didn't think I was cheating on you, did you?"

She asked as she stripped of his shirt at the same time as she wrestled him around to be able to better view him from the top. She wasn’t disappointed at all as she looked back down at him, placing both hands on his naked chest.   

"Not really."  
"Good. I love you."  
"And I love you. So much, Jess… What’re you doing?”

He raised both eyebrows at her when she suddenly reached over to the nightstand and collected her phone.

“Making your fans jealous.”

“Oh, your crazy ass bitch… You’re not making life easy for yourself.”

“Life isn’t supposed to be easy.”

She answered him as he snapped a photo of her caressing hand over his naked chest and quickly post the black and white picture with on word: _claimed_ before she began to kiss her way down his body.     

  
She caught Andy staring at her when they arrived to have dinner with him and his wife after their trip to New York the very first day of June. She hadn't spent time with the Englishman since he had caught her out in the pouring rain. They had just kept running into each other whenever she had been on set but now he couldn't stop staring at her as she stepped out of the car in the light rain that was falling. He hadn’t had time to really look at her for a very long time. 

"You look different." 

He hugged her lightly and kissed her check quickly as he greeted his dinner guests at the door. 

"Ok...?"  
"I can't really put my finger on it, but you look different, Jessie. You're glowing, hon."  
She smiled a little shyly at him but beside her, Norman beamed and squeezed her hand. The thing was that he had seen it too. She had changed since she had started working. Both physical and mentally. She had gain some weight in just the right places for his liking, boobs and butt. All that working out on a daily basis had only done her a favors. They were both enjoying life to the fullest at the moment and it showed in everything they did. He had stopped counting how many times they had appeared the tabloids, not even carrying anymore. He just enjoyed being able to love her and getting the same love in return. She had really given herself completely to hi and she even had a hard time keeping her hands off him during their dinner. She was resting one hand on his thigh at all times and leaning close to him as she grabbed her 3rd chicken leg. 

"All this dancing is really helping your appetite, honey. You never did eat enough before." 

She looked across the table at the warm smile from Andy’s wife. She shrugged and took a bite of the delicious chicken.

"Well, it takes a lot more energy working like this then simply keeping this dork busy."  
"Not to mention that you're happy. You know you really do deserve this, don't you?"

Jessie had always liked Gale. She was one of the most genuine nice people she knew and she looked at her from under her eyelashes.  

"I might need to be reminded sometimes... But it gets easier for every day that passes. I really don't feel guilty anymore."  
"Good. Where you back in New York with him for Fleet Week?"  
"Not all of it, I had a class Sunday night."  
"You saw Helena and Mingus?"  
"Yeah. We got together on Thursday."  
"Great. Everything alright with Mingus?" 

Andy asked as Norman wrapped an arm around his girlfriend and kissed the side of head. He nodded towards Jessie. 

"Yeah. I got the teenage whisperer right here so he's fine."  
"Is that so? Can we hire you in a few years?"  
"It really isn't that complicated, Andy. You just have to let them do the talking and listen when they're ready to talk. Mingus is easy as long as you don't treat him like a kid."  
"He really isn't a kid anymore. He must have grown taller then you."

"No shit...? It really sucks, man! He's growing up too fast. I swear, I wished there was a way to stop it sometimes. It was so much easier when he was a toddler."  
"How much time did you get with your son?" 

Jessie looked at the other woman and she could feel Norman tens beside her but for the first time in a very long time, if not even the first, she didn't feel the need to avoid the question. Calmly and with a small smile on her face she answered. 

"9 months. We got 9 months with him." 

The boy's face popped into her mind and for once she was able to talk about it without breaking down in tears. This was what moving on was all about for her. It wasn't about forgetting about what had been and missing what could have been, but be thankful for every second with Jacob that she actually had had.  
"He really was a beautiful boy. Where was his father from?" 

"Porto Rico."  
"Still he got your eyes...?" 

It took her a second to figure out how Andy could know that, but then she remembered she had actually brought a picture of her baby boy when they moved down to Georgia. He must have seen it in the living room at their house. 

"These eyes have strong genes." 

She chuckled lightly as she felt Norman smile at her and squeeze her shoulder. 

"Too bad you have no plans on passing them on once more." 

Both men took a sharp breath and started with shocked eyes at Gale. Jessie looked up at her too but she found once again that the question didn't upset her. Perhaps because it actually came from the right person, she knew Gale had no attention to hurt her and that she simply wanted to pass on her sympathy’s. 

"I don't know about that, it would be very weird to start over now."  
"I wouldn't mind starting over."  
She turned her head and looked at him.  
"I know you wouldn't, babe but you know it won't happen."  
"Yeah...It's a good thing you can talk about it though. You know, besides me."  
"A few months ago I would have hated you for bringing it up, Gale."

“I know. You’ve come a long way, Jessie and I hope you know the reason for it.”

“Yes.”

She nodded and turned to her reason for moving on. Norman looked a bit confused when she kissed him but when the women’s conversation sunk in, he turned slightly red as all three of them looked at him with silly little smiles on their faces. Even Andy looked like he was ready to jump the table and plant a wet one on him at any time.

“Come on!”

Norman looked away when all of them began to laugh. She leaned up and kissed his check lightly.

“Learn to take a damn compliment, you know you earned it.”

She whispered to him as their hosts began to clean the table. He gave her a small smile and nodded once.

 

The dance studio was almost completely dark. The only light guiding him came from the hall furthers away from the entrance. He heard the beats of the music and although he was far from sharing her taste in music he recognized Avicii’s _Wake Me Up._ He left his helmet and jacket on the front desk before heading towards the lights. He heard her curse and the music started over the next heartbeat. When it came to her dancing she was a perfectionist and although no one else then her knew she had done one step wrong, she would always start over. The door to the dance studio was open wide and he took a step inside and found his own reflection looking back at him. She was standing in the middle of the long wall of mirrors, her eyes closed and her head moving to the beat of the music. He had seen her do the same thing countless of times and he knew she ran through the choreography in her head before she took the first step. He sank down on the floor against the opposite wall and watched her. She ignored him like he knew she would but he didn’t mind.

He had always loved watching her dance. It was like watching a beautiful piece of art come to life. Just like him, her body was her tool and she knew just how to use it. Her bare feet left the floor so quickly and frequent, he had a hard time following every step she took. He picked up his phone and laid down flat on his stomach and taped the last minute of her performance. As the last beat of the song faded she had ended up on her back on the floor, spread out in a perfect X shape. Her chest was heaving and her eyes were closed as he walked up to her. She was wearing one of his baseball hats and the tinny outfit of jeans short and an oversized t-shirt made him want to do very bad things to her right there and then on the floor. He did move in between her legs, standing over her and took a picture of the gorgeous woman that he was forever thankful to be able to call his at last.

“Tell me what you want to do right now.”

“Oh, baby I’m not sure you can handle that.”

He answered her and he saw a smile spread on her face.

“Try me, why don’t you?”

He took on the challenge in a heartbeat and began to pace around her. She pulled her legs up and her hands landed on the heavy breathing stomach as she opened her eyes and found him walking around her.

“First, I would kiss those gorgeous lips of yours. Taste your tongue with mine and maybe even bite that lower lip. I would throw that shirt off your body before I would have you pressed up against those mirrors and I would have you bend over with your hands against the glass so you could watch me.”

“Watch you do what?”

Her heart was racing for a whole other reason now and she could almost taste the excitement and anticipation he was building up in both of them.

“Watch me when I ran my hands all over your back and stopping at your fine ass. I would get behind you and ran my hands all over you. Then I would bend over you and kiss your neck as I began to unbutton those ridiculous small and sexy jeans of yours. I would put one hand inside your short and find that you’re wearing thongs and I would squeeze your ass before standing up again and help you out of those jeans. I would let my lips follow the same path as your cloths and kiss you all the way down to your ankles. I would have you step out of them before I would get to my feet again to be able to look at you. And you would be looking back at me through that mirror and you would be panting, wanting me to touch you. But I would watch you first, walk around you to really be able to look at your beautiful and sweating body. I would know you weren’t panting because you’re tired, it would be because you want me to fuck you and you would moan as I stripped of my shirt. And I know you would try to turn around but I wouldn’t let you and then you would get frustrated and try to convince me in another way.”           

He came to a stop by her feet and looked down on her. She was indeed panting and while he had been talking she had stripped off both shirt and jeans and they had been thrown across the room. He quickly followed her example and tossed the shirt from his body before grabbing her by the wrist and yanked her up from the floor. He grabbed her by the chin and kissed her hard, tasting her tongue with his own and bit her lower lip as he pushed her up against the mirror. Quickly he turned her around and made her bend over. Her hands pressed flat against the glass and she panted as she watched him move behind her. Her heavy breathing was fogging up the glass. She moaned out loud when she watched him drop his hands to his jeans and opened them up.

“I would spread my legs for you. Arch my back for you and you would be able to see my wet pussy waiting for you.”

As she spoke she took a step apart and exposed her sex to him. She smiled when she saw him watch her with wide eyes and he moaned. She gasped and braced herself as he dropped to his knees behind her. The thin thong she was wearing was quickly torn away from her body as he leaned in and put his tongue inside her. She cried out and banged one fist into the glass when his fingers followed his tongue and she felt him rub them over her swollen clit in perfect circles.

“Yes! Fuck, baby…! Don’t stop, Norman!”

He smiled to himself as she lost control so quickly. He slipped two fingers inside her and quickly began to fuck her at the same time as he began to work the other hand around himself. He was painfully hard and he really just wanted to dive his cock inside her but first he had to taste his personal choose of drug. He worked fast and had her explode to his touch within minutes. The moment her orgasm hit and he leaned back slightly, she suddenly moved, taking him completely by surprise. She pulled him to his feet and she quickly dropped to her knees and pulled his jeans and boxers off.

“My turn.”

She said, smiling up at him before putting him inside her mouth. He growled and grabbed the side of her head. She watched herself bob her mouth around her loves cock through the mirror and the mere sight made her moan around him. They had never done something like this before, at least not in a such a big place. They had countless of very R rated clips that she loved to watch but actually being able to see him enjoy her touch live like this was turning her on beyond anything she had felt in a very long time. He really was the sexist man she had ever seen and knowing she, and only she, could make him feel so good, made her swell with pride. He was hers and no one else’s. And out of nowhere an image of herself in a white wedding dress and flowers in her hair flashed in front of her eyes. A shocked gasped escaped her and Norman, misreading her, quickly bent and grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet.

“Are you alright?”

It took her a second to grasp her new position and she shook her head in an attempt to get her focus back.

“Jessie?”

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what the hell happened.”

He put both hands on her face and leaned in to gently kiss her. He hadn’t counted on her response though. She threw herself around his neck and demanded his full attention right away. The worry about what had just happened went out the door the same moment she forced her tongue inside his mouth and she grind her naked hips into his erection. They moaned in each other’s mouth as he pushed her up against the mirrors and without a second hesitation, helped himself inside her. She wrapped her leg around his waist and stared to move with him. He threw out on hand and supported himself with it beside her head when she tore their lips apart and they looked at each other without ending their movements around each other.

“I love you.”

It didn’t matter how many time he heard the words come out of her mouth. Every time he put a smile on his face and so it did this time. She placed her right hand on his check and smiled back at him.

“I love you too.”

He replayed and tilted his head to be able to kiss the scare on her wrist. Sooner then she had expected she felt the familiar feeling of realize start to build inside her and she shut her eyes closed and clung to his back for support as he began to speed up.

“Fuck…! Shit, baby!”

He lifted her off the floor and gently placed her on her back without breaking their bodies apart, but not moving, as he allowed her to recover from her euphoria. She didn’t want to recover though. The moment her back hit the floor, she made him trade placed with her without Norman really knowing how the hell it happened. But he found himself on his back and he watched her grab the bas of his cock, lowering herself around him all the same. Once he was all the way inside her, she stopped and placed both hands on his chest and began to roll her hips. He felt his eyes roll to the back of his head and he called out her name. She kept her slow torture until she felt him tens under her and he actually stopped breathing as he emptied himself inside her. She kept up a gentle and slow pace around him until she felt him relax completely under her touch. He finally found his eyes again and when he opened them she was still rolling her hips gently around him, smiling down at him with an angelic smile.

“Holly fucking Christ, J… You’re out of this fucking world, girl.”

She traced the letter of his new _Leemy_ tattoo on his chest with light fingers and it made the hair on his arms stand up.

“We both are, remember? The misfits?”

“Thank God for that. Maybe I should tattoo your name next time, huh?”

“I’ve a better idea.”

“Do tell, my dear.”

He leaned up on his elbows so to better be able to look at her.

“I would like something on my other wrist, like maybe an infinity symbol or something and I want you to draw it.”

“I would love to, baby.”

She leaned back and pulled her up into his arms, kissing him as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

“Happy Father’s Day, my love.”

“Thank you, babe… We’re so damn late.”

“Where’re we going?”

“Really, Jessie? What’s happened to your memory? We’re having dinner with Greg and everyone else who shows up, remember?”

“At the restaurant, right… Sorry. I guess I have had a lot on my mind lately.”

“You sure you ok, baby girl?”

He caressed her check with his knuckles and kissed her nose, costing her to chuckle lightly.

“Pretty damn good at the moment.”

“I know that. I was asking if you are ok?”

“I’m fine, Norman… How are you?” ¨

She grabbed his face between both hands and kissed it gently.

“I’m tired.”

“Me too.”

“And I really miss Mingus.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry you couldn’t be with him today. Why don’t you bring him with you when you go to L.A. on Thursday? Spend some quality time with him for a few days.”

“I thought you were coming with me.”

“I am but it doesn’t mean he can’t come too. I really just want to see Sean again.”

“You will. Soon enough, baby.”

“Did I tell you I love you?”

“You did, but please tell me again.”

She smiled and said the words over and over again and kissed his face until he wrestled her to her back and kissed her hard to make her shut up. They really were going to be so fucking late…


	15. Anniversary

Mingus got up on the board at just the right time and managed to stay on his feet for about 10 seconds this time around before falling back into the sea with a splash. When he began to paddle out again, Jessie followed beside him.

“How the fuck did you learn so quickly?”

“Keeping my balance is second nature after 30 years of dancing.”

“So unfair!”

“Yeah, your parents should’ve put you in a ballet class when you were a kid.”

She said, smirking at him, as she paddled past him, challenge him to follow her. He scowled at her but followed quickly. Sean, who had managed to find them a secluded place away from preying fans and reporters in his Santa Monica home, followed his guest’s moments later after directing Norman to where they were. They had spent the entire afternoon on the beach while Norman had some work to do.

 

                                                                                              ---------------------------

 

“Norman told me you have quite the way with his son.”

He looked over at Jessie. She was lying back on her elbows in the sand, eating watermelon and drinking a lemonade, watching Mingus practice his surfing.

“He’s an easy going kid. You just have to let him do the talking when he’s ready for it.”

“How are you, honey?”

He placed his hand on her knee and touched her gently. She sighed and turned to look at him.

“It’s good. It’s really good. I’m just so fucking tired. And so is he.”

“Well, he’s not really doing things easy for himself. Filming Walking Dead and doing promo for Ride at the same time and then opening a restaurant in the middle of everything else. And not to mention trying to keep your relationship going.”

“You forget the most important thing…”

He frowned at her but she simply nodded her head into the water towards the blond teenager surfing the waves.

“Yeah, right. Forgot about Mingus. But you just said he’s an easy going kid.”

“He is, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t giving his father’s grey hairs. He worries about everything and everyone when it comes to Mingus.”

“He’s supposed to.”

“I know.”

“Did he tell you he kinda proposed to me?”

“What do you mean “kinda proposed” to you…? Only Reedus could do something like that, I tell ya.”

“Yeah, I know… I was chatting with some fans in Instagram and some were really rude and some stuck up for me and were really sweet. One girl wanted us to get married and he just came storming in and asked “so what about it?”

He stared at her for a solid 10 seconds before bursting out laughing so hard it began to hurt his belly. He tried to stop when Mingus finally joined them, wondering what was wrong with him. Sean wiped the tears in his eyes with the back of his hand and took a deep breath to calm himself before answering.

“Your father really can be a very amusing man sometimes… I’m guessing you said no?”

“Hell yeah!”

“To what?”

“Why?”

She looked from one man to the other as they questioned her at the same time. Mingus had taken a seat next to her and grabbed her lemonade right out of her hand to take a zip.

“Your dad asked me to marry him a while back… I’m not sure he really was that serious about it but I told him no so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Why did you tell him no?”

“Cause we had just started to really date and it was too soon but now…”

“Now what?”

They asked the same question at the same time, looking at her intently. She sighed and sat up, looking first at Sean then at Mingus, stealing her lemonade back from the teenager.

“I need your help with something. Both of you… He sort of told me I had to be one asking if the thought would ever cross my mind.”

“You want to marry dad?!”

Mingus as good as shouted the words a her and turned his entire body towards her.

“Yes, I think I do… Do you think he want to gets married?”

“Hell yeah… Don’t you like celebrate, or whatever you want to call it, your 10-year anniversary in August?”

“August 14th, yes. And I’ve never really been good with words so I thought I could show him instead.”

“Show him how?”

She turned with a grin on her face to Sean.

“How good are you dancing skills?”

“You want me to dance with you?”

“Yes, Sean I want you to dance with me.”

“H…How? What? To what?”

She reached over to her bag to retrieve her phone. After making a quick search on Youtube she found the official video of _Thinking out Loud_ by Ed Sheeran and handed Sean the phone. He watched in absolute silence the 5-minute-long video and once it was over he handed it back wordlessly.

“Sorry, babe, there’s no way in hell I’m going to pull that off.”

“Come on, Sean. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t know you could do it. And you forget one thing. I’m an awesome teacher. Let’s go down to one of your studios tomorrow and just try. Please. I really want to do this.”

Sean nodded.

“Fine… I’ll give it a try.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I need you to keep my cover. You can’t tell your dad about this and I need you to make him believe I’ve been in New York whenever I go out here.”

“That’s a whole lot of shit that could go wrong with this plan, Jess.”

“Like what? I’ll be the one doing all the work really, you just have to keep your act together if your dad asks.”

“Ok… It would be pretty damn beautiful if you pulled this off. He really does love you, you know.”

“I know.”

She could feel his gaze at the back of her neck before either Sean or Mingus even noticed they were being joined by Norman. But she knew he was right behind them. As she turned her head around she came face to face with him, only he was a lot closer then she had expected. She even bumped her nose into his as he had bent down to.

“Hey!”

She grabbed the side of his head and shoved him into a kiss, costing him to lose his balance and fell over into her lap. When she finally released him and he looked back up, he found 3 of the people he loved most in this world looking back at him, smiling from ear to ear.

 

                                                                                                    ___________________________________________

 

 “I swear, Jessie, you’re getting heavier every time you get here…!”

“Fuck you, Sean.”

They were practicing one of the many lifts in her chorography but Sean was having a very bad day and couldn’t quite get it right. It didn’t help that she was having an even worse day than him and she got very frustrated when they couldn’t get it right. She tried to ease some of it by throwing her water bottle across the floor but then only thing that achieved was wet spots on the floor. Sean stood a foot away from her and they looked at each other through the mirror. She felt the tears burn but she scowled at the man looking at her anyway.

“Don’t even fucking think about taking out your anger on me, girl! I’m trying my best here.”

She kept scowling at him for almost a solid 2 minutes but he kept on looking right back at her the entire time. She somehow found it in her to swallow her pride and she sighed heavily and turned to him to apologize.

“I’m sorry, Sean. I know you are. Why don’t we just get something to eat and try again later instead? This isn’t doing either of us any good.”

”Ok, sure.”

Their tempers began to subsided some as the food started to put some energy back into them again. This was her 5th time flying out to him in the past four weeks and he knew she was exhausted. Behind her sunglasses, her red shut eyes screamed to get some sleep. He was however glad that she always took the time to make sure she got something to eat. He knew from experience how easy it was to forget to eat when the stress really kicked in.

“When’re you leaving tomorrow? Are you flying?”

“I’m going to get a bike and ride down to San Diego Saturday morning.”

“Jessie…”

Sean began but she simply shook her head at him, knowing full well what he was going to say to her. He really had started to treat her like a little sister, always protecting and worrying about her.

“Come on, Sean. I need a few hours alone to just clear my head. It’s only a 4 hour ride, I’ll be fine. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”

“Yes. What’re your plan’s for tomorrow then? Why not leave with me?”

 “I’m meeting up with a friend/old colleague tomorrow, he’s going to help me put it all together.”

“Text me when you leave, ok? And when you get there, please. I want to know you got there alright.”

“Yes, dad.”

She said, smiling at him. He rolled his eyes at her but grabbed her hand the second after and kissed the top of it.

“I love you, baby and I just worry about you.”

“I know you do, but there’s no reason to. I’ve been on a bike alone before you know.”

“I know but I’m still going to worry so suck it up.”

“Fine…. I love you too by the way.”

 

                                                                                            ---------------------------------------------

 

Sean did a ridicules little happy dance and shook his ass bending over at her. She tried to keep a straight face but failed miserable and ended up resting her palms on her knees as she began to giggle. He had finally nailed it. All 5 minutes of it in one take and he was so smug and happy about it he couldn’t be still.

“I feel so fucking awesome right now!”

“You’re fucking awesome right now. Come on, one more time. From the top.”

“You’re one evil little bitch, you know that? It’ll never be as good as that time.”

“No, it’s going to be better. 4 weeks ago you couldn’t even tell your left leg from your right, Sean.”

“Fuck you, Jessie.”

He looked at his outstretched hand but finally stepped up to her and grabbed it.

“Fine. A question first though.”

“What, Sean?”

“Did it ever cross your mind that Norman might actually get seriously pissed that you’ve spent this much time with me alone?”

“Of course it did. Has it crossed your mind how seriously pissed he would be, knowing I had spent this much time with a guy either of us knew? I mean, I’ve fucked you, Sean, if he could make it through that, I’m sure he’s fine with this.”

He deliberated her statement for a second before nodding.

“Alright then.”

“Any more questions or could we begin?”

“Yes… I’ve been thinking about something for a while now and I’m curious…”

“What?”

“Why did you freak out when Norman told you he loved you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m just trying to get a clearer picture how things were between you before it got to this. I remember Norman telling me at some point a few years ago that he had screwed up and used the L word too soon.”

“L word?”

“I love you.”

“Right.... It had been 6 months!”

“So?“

“So?! Six months, Sean! 6 months of just fucking, nothing else than sex and out of the blue he just said he loved me.”

 

                                                                                                     -------------------------------------

 

_February 2007 – NYC_

_She woke up in his apartment yet again as the second month of the year began to come to an end. She had stayed with him for the past week and it had been insane. She moaned softly as she turned around to her back and felt her backside being sore after their playtime in the bathroom the night before. He was not in bed with her but she could hear him move about in the kitchen. She got up and headed for the bathroom before collecting a shirt of his and walked out to the kitchen._

_He stood by the stove with his back to her and sang to himself. He was only wearing underwear and she leaned over the kitchen counter to take a closer look at him. She had to bite her lips to stop herself from let out a moan of longing. She couldn’t get enough of him. She couldn’t even count how many times they had fucked since she got there 4 days ago. It had been completely insane and she knew she would be lucky if she didn’t end up catching a urinary infection. She chuckled at the thought and it made him jump around, cursing in surprise._

_“Sorry.”_

_“How long have you been standing there?”_

_“Not long.”_

_“Want to share what’s so funny?”_

_“Just realized I might have to make you pay my insurance bill after this week.”_

_He looked at her with a puzzled expression that made her giggle once more._

_“Sorry?”_

_“All this fucking is going to give me a damn urinary infection.”_

_He chuckled and placed a plate of eggs and bacon at her hands, asking her what she was up to today._

_“I want to go work out. I haven’t been inside a dance studio for ages.”_

_“Can I come?”_

_“You wanna see me dance?”_

_“Hell yeah.”_

_“Why?”_

_“What the hell do you mean why? Have you seen yourself? I’m getting a fucking boner just watching you stand on your two feet right now.”_

_“Alright then, you can come with me.”_

_\-----------------------------------------_

 

_It took them a few hours to actually get to the studio as they really weren’t in any hurry to leave and once they did, they stopped to do some shopping and get something to eat. She took him to a small studio she had spent countless late nights and early evenings working tirelessly towards a Broadway premier._

_“Jessie!”_

_“Miss Hamilton!”_

_This was a whole new side of her that he hadn’t seen before, but one he wanted to explore so much more of. In this arena, she got treated as royalty and although he could tell she hated it, there was no stopping it. Within minutes she led him down one flight of stairs and into a small, perfectly square studio. To his absolute delight and excitement, he spotted three poles to their right as they stepped inside. She headed straight for the media center and connected her iPhone to the system._

_“Can I take pictures?”_

_She looked at him through the mirror as she kicked off her shoes and tired her hair back with a black bandanna. She eyed the camera in his hands and nodded. She had gotten so use to it already. The camera and those damn masks was something she had quickly learned was what he kept close to his heart. He was an artist just like her but it still surprised her slightly that he showed such respect for her work. He kept quiet and still on the floor at the corner of the room so not to get in her way. The only movements he did was to change position to take another picture._

_She kept going for nearly an hour before pausing the music all together and turned her attention back to the man on the floor. He was lying flat on his stomach with the camera stretched out in front of him. As she put a bottle of water to her lips to drink, she heard it click._

_“How’s that boner?”_

_He smirked and got to his feet._

_“Painful.”_

_He replayed as he walked up to her._

_“I can see that.”_

_Both of them glanced over to the poles at the same time._

_“You really, really want to see me dance?”_

_“You have no idea, miss Hamilton.”_

_She walked past him but let on hand ran over his heaving chest as she went to turn the lights off. For a second the studio was completely dark but she turned on 2 small spotlights directed at the poles instead. When she turned back to the room, she found him by the media center._

_“Do you mind?”_

_He asked as she picked up her phone and she realized he wanted to choose the song._

_“Not at all.”_

_She wrapped both hands around the metal pole and ran one of them up and down a few times, getting a feel for it again. It had been a while since she did pole dancing or she as she was sure Norman would call it, stripping. She really didn’t care what he called it. She untied her hair and let it fall down around her face and shoulders. She felt his intent gaze at the back of her head and she heard him move closer as the first notes of the music began. She closed her eyes and tried to figure out what song he had chosen. It took her 2 seconds to locate the iconic Nina Simone’s voice and her body got into the rhythm of_ I put a spell on you _as easy as breathing._

_He could feel his brain stop working and he just stared at her angelic body move around the pole with such grace and sensuality that he was sure he had never seen anything sexier or would ever do again in his life. She didn’t stop once the music stopped though. She had ended up completely naked and all he wanted to do was fuck her, but he moved past him and he was still too paralyzed to be able to do anything about it. The studio went almost all dark as she turned off the spotlights and he made to turn his head to search for her._

_“Don’t… Stay right there.”_

_She told him and he froze at once. His breathing almost stopped and his heart jumped into his throat as he felt her right behind him. She grazed the top of his head with light fingers before grabbing a fist full of hair and pulled his head back. It didn’t hurt but it was unexpected and he was so on edge he actually feared he would cum in his pants before she even touched him. When she pulled him to his feet and blindfolded him with the bandanna, he actually gasped and he heard her giggle._

_She circled him once before stopping in front of him. He was panting for air already and she smirked to herself, feeling rather proud of her ability to turn him on so absolute. Her hands landed on his hips and he jumped._

_“Easy, Norman.”_

_She put her hands inside his shirt and reached up just enough to reach his lips with hers. She tugged at his lower lip with her teeth and he whimpered. She knew she was torturing him by going this slow but she opened up his shirt on bottom at the time while biting his lip and running her tongue over it, but never letting him really kiss her. She went just as slowly when her hands traveled down his naked chest towards his crotch._

_“Oh pore baby…”_

_She actually giggled to herself as she dropped to her knees after freeing his impressive erection. He looked ready to explode already and when she stuck her tonnage out and sucked on his already leaking head, he cursed loudly and wrapped his hands in her hair._

_“Yes! Fuck, Jessie…!”_

_Her eyes had gotten used to the darkness and she could make him out as she looked up at him. It made her moaned and she let her own travel down to her wet pussy. She began to finger herself at the same time as she swallowed Norman’s length and sucked him hard and fast._

_“Fuck, Jessie! Slow down! You’re going to make me cum. I want to taste you, baby girl. Please, Jess.”_

_“Lay down on your back.”_

_He followed her command within seconds and she climbed on top of him, positioning her soaking sex right over his mouth. His eyes might be blind at the moment but he didn’t fail to bring her over the edge just as good and just as fast as he usually did. She exploded to his tongue and fingers, screaming his name. Before he could react to her orgasm though, she moved and he held his breath as he felt her sunk down around him. He threw his arms out and fumbled for a second before he found her hips and held her tightly as she began to move around him. She rode him fast and hard, knowing he wouldn’t last long and neither did she. They came together, letting each other’s name escape their lips loud enough to get caught, but they couldn’t care less._

 

_\--------------------------------_

 

_"Interesting choice of song.”_

_She crawled into the corner of the couch and zipped on her tea. He was still in the kitchen, making himself a night time snack. It was almost midnight but they didn’t feel like sleeping and Jessie had turned on the TV on low volume. She wasn’t sure they were going to watch something yet, or just stay awake and talk. He seemed like he needed to talk and to keep the peace, she would let him._

_“It was the first thing that popped into my head really.”_

_“It’s a good song, one of my mom’s favorites actually.”_

_“Really…? Those people at the studio… Friends of your family?”_

_“Yeah. Some I’ve worked with, some are just… In the industry I guess.”_

_“You must have had a blast growing up.”_

_“Yeah, it was great must of the time. Goofing around on stage and backstage, it was a new adventure everyday, every new show. A lot of hard work, a lot of late night without mom and dad at home but it was great most of the times.”_

_“I was thinking…”_

_She knew what he was going to say before he continued and she cut him off quickly. It amazed her, how well she had gotten to know him already. The look in his eyes said it all and she protested at once._

_“Don’t!”_

_“What? You don’t even know what I was going to say.”_

_“I know that look by now, Norm. That’s the give-me-more-look! I’m not going to go out with you, we’re not going to be an item.”_

_“Why not? What are you so fucking scared off, Jess?”_

_“I’m not fucking scared, I just don’t date! You know this and you fucking know why! Don’t ruin this, Norman.”_

_“Ruin what? What is there to ruin?! This is nothing, Jessie, just two people fucking. It’s insane, J! How can you want to live your life like this? It’s fucking killing me!”_

_“What the hell is killing you?! What the fuck about this hard, Norman?! Getting a pussy to shove your dick into whenever you want is hard?”_

_“I love you!”_

_Her fury had driven her up from the couch and as he shouted the words, he could never take back, came out of his mouth they were standing on either side of the kitchen counter._

_“I love you, Jessie.”_

_He had to repeat the words just to understand he had actually said them. He hadn’t really planed on saying it but the feelings he had kept bottled up for a while now, finally spilled out. She stared back at him in shock. She looked genuine shocked and confused and she blinked at him._

_“What the hell did you just say?”_

_“I love you, Jessie. I probably have since the first month you stayed here. I want more, Jessie. The sex is fucking amazing but I love you. I didn’t plane to, trust me but I’m not going to lie and I’m not going to take it back.”_

_“Are you fucking insane?!”_

_“What’s so wrong with me loving you?”_

_“You don’t know me! I don’t know you! We just fuck, Norman. There’s nothing else! There’s never going to be anything else! Ever!”_

_“How can you say that?! I know you want me too, Jessie!”_

_“The only thing I want from you is from the waist down! You don’t love me, you can’t! I’m too fucked up. You don’t know me!”_

_“Then let me!”_

_He walked around the counter and reached out for her. She pushed his arm away and turned to head for the front door._

_“Fuck you, Norman!”_

_“Where the hell are you going?”_

_“Getting the hell out of here before you getting any more crazy ideas into your head! Stop this, Norman! You don’t love me, you can’t!”_

_“I love you, Jessie!”_

_He grabbed her shoulder and forced her to look at him but she simply threw his hands away from her and grabbed her bag and jacket before leaving._

 

_\---------------------------------_

 

February 28 2007 5:34 am

_Pick up your fucking phone J!_

March 3 2007 12:12 pm

_Please baby answer me. Just let me know u ok._

March 12 2007 6:12 am

_I’m going fucking crazy here Jessie. I really don’t understand why you left and why you’re staying away like this. I love you. I’m not going to apologize for it and say that I never meant it coz I did and I do. I love you. I know it’s not rational and that I probably shouldn’t but I’m not going to lie. You don’t have to say it back, I get if you can’t yet._

March 25 2007 8:26 pm

_Norman: When you finally get to love somebody, guess what? It’s gonna be me._

_Jessie: Wrong fucking boyband!_

_Norman: Sorry. Finally got your attention though_

_Jessie: Fuck you!_

_Norman: Where are you baby? Are you ok?_

_Jessie: I’m fine Norm_

_Norman: Where are you? I’ve been by your place a few times, you were never home. Folk said you had gone overseas_

_Jessie: I’m in Rome right now_

_Norman: Want some company?_

_Jessie: No!_

_Norman: Fine… I miss you._

_Jessie: Stay away from me Norman!_

_Norman: Are you breaking up with me?!_

_Jessie: What the fuck are you talking about? There was nothing to break up in the first place! Back the hell off!_

_Norman: Sorry babe not going to happen. I still love you. But if you just want my dick right now I’m your J. Always. Come see me when you get back to NYC and I’ll show you how good it can really be_

_Jessie: Can it get better?_

_Norman: You have no idea baby_

_Jessie: I’m looking forward to it_

_Norman: You should..._


	16. Accident

Jessie _: I’m heading out on the road. This is the way I’m planning on going, hope to ease some of the worry you’ve, u wuss_

Sean _: Thanx babe, it does actually. Why not the highway?_

Jessie _: Too crowded_

Sean _: Stay safe and let me know when you get there_

Jessie _: Sure. Time to say hi to my man yet?_

Sean _: Not yet. Trying to see him later today. Hope to see you too then_

Jessie _: Not sure when I’ll get there, around 1 o’clock maybe. Have a great time. Love you and thank you for doing this. It means a lot to me_

Sean _: Of course hon. I love you too. Be safe out there_

_\--------------------------------_

Andy could tell something was wrong before anyone else even noticed a change in their coworker and friend’s behavior. They just said he was tired and probably needed to get some rest but Andy knew better. He had known Norman long enough to know when something really was bothering him. The panel the day before had been great and they had been all smiles and laughter. So this morning but now, after lunch, he could tell Norman was nowhere near where the rest of the cast were. His mind had drifted off someplace else.

“Come take a walk with me.”

Andy interrupted Norman’s conversation with Jeffrey in the middle of a sentence and both men look at him in confusion. Andy looked straight at him and Norman felt such a relief to be asked to leave at that moment, that he could’ve kissed Andy. Andy knew, he always knew when he needed a break. Norman nodded and got to his feet, leaving the food he hadn’t even touched behind. They headed towards the private terrace that was attached to the VIP section they had been assigned. Andy leaned to the railing, looking down on all the people walking by and waited for him to say something but when he turned his head, Norman wasn’t beside him anymore. He turned around and found his friend pacing the terrace, twisting his phone between his hands.

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t get hold of Jessie.”

“Isn’t she in New York?”

“She was going to come out here this morning, flying in from New York but she never got here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she wasn’t at the airport when they went to pick her up. She hadn’t even stepped on the plane in New York in the first place.”

“So she’s still in New York then. Just call Mingus.”

“I did. He said she left hours ago. She never turns off her phone, Andy. Now it goes straight to voice mail.”

“When’s the last time you talked to her?”

“Before she left for New York Wednesday. After that we just texted. She sent me a good night last night, which was weird…”

“Why?”

“Cause either she was up until like 3 in the morning or she was already here. There’s a 4-hour time difference between New York and San Diego, man and she sent it like 11 pm.”

“Where’re you going with this, Norman? I’m not following.”

Norman was about to answer him when his phone suddenly rang and he answered before the first signal had ended, praying it was Jessie.

“Jess?”

“Sorry, man it’s me.”

“Sean, hi… Sorry, I just…How’re you, bro?”

“Good, man I’m good. How about you? You sound off. Everything alright, Norm?”

“I seem to have a runaway girlfriend on my hands, so n….”

“Jessie isn’t with you?”

Sean interrupted him with such a hast and panic that Norman automatically began to move again, ready to act.

“No… She was supposed to fly in from New York this morning but never got on the plane. I can’t get hold of her and Mingus said she left hours ago.”

He could hear the panic in his own voice getting worse and he turned to find Andy. He was right there, watching him with concern etched on every inch of his face. Norman walked over to the railing and grabbed it hard with one hand, just to have something to hold on to.

“I’m sure she’s fine, man.”

“No, you’re not…Why are you fucking lying to me, Sean?”

“Listen, could we met somewhere?”

“What the fuck are you doing with Jessie, Sean?!”

“Nothing…Where’re you right now? I could come to you and we’ll sort this out, ok?”

Andy had been hearing the two friends’ conversation and knew Norman wouldn’t be able to say anything productive at the moment, so he grabbed the phone from his friend and gave Sean their location before hanging up.

“He’s your brother, man. He would never hurt you, you know that.”

“Screw you, Andy…!”

Norman snatched his phone back and began pacing once more, while dialing Jessie’s number for the 100th time without answer. He left dozens of message’s and for each of them his rage kept on building to the point that Sean got the full blown experience when he showed up not 10 minutes later. He had just greeted Andy by shaking his hand when Norman, pacing a few feet away from them, turned and locked eyes with him. Sean took a few quick steps back and raised his hands, palms up, in front of him in defense.

“Don’t! I don’t want to hurt you, Reedus.”

“Fuck you! Where’s Jessie?!”

“Listen, it’s not what you think it is, ok? Just…”

He launched at Sean without a second thought to his friend’s legendary black belt skills. And without even being able to put as much as a finger to him, Norman found himself on the ground without being able to move.

“As you’re just lying there, listen to me. I don’t know where Jessie is right now. I only know she left L.A. this morning on a black and blue Suzuki bike and was going to ride all the way down here to see you.”

He allowed his words to sink in for 10 seconds before losing his grip around his friend and slowly got to his feet.

“What the hell has she been doing in L.A.?”

“She has been visiting me.”

“Why?!”

“Come on, Norm. If I had fucked her again, I would just have told you… It’s not how things are anymore, man. She’s like a sister to me, you know that.”

“Why?! Why was she with you?!”

“I guess she needed to get away… She told me you knew where she was going.”

“I didn’t! She told me she went back to New York.”

Norman stared at his outstretched hand but finally grabbed it and Sean pulled him to his feet.

“It still doesn’t answer the fucking question, does it? Where’s she now? When did she leave L.A.?”

Andy took control of the situation and turned it into a rational and highly efficient conversation. He turned to Sean to get all the information and glared at Norman every time he tried to open his mouth and no doubt try to start an argument with Sean again.

“She texted me a little before 8 this morning. I got the directions she was going to take and it shouldn’t take more than 4 hours, even though there might have been heavy traffic. She ought to have been here an hour ago, especially with that bike.”

“Did she plan on making any stops along the way?”

“No, she was going to head straight down here.”

“Taking the I-5?”

“No, she said it’s too crowded.”

“What kind of bike was it?”

Norman finally spoke but he had to really restrain himself not to yell at Sean.

“Not really the right person to ask, Norm. It was black and light blue, I don’t know. Looked pretty fucking fast though. Here.”

He picked up his phone and showed Norman the picture Jessie had sent him the night before, when picking up the bike, making the thumbs up and grinning into the camera.

“That’s a GSX-S1000…”

“Ok…? What does that mean?”

“It’s pretty fucking fast.”

“Hey! Doesn’t she have an iPhone?”

Norman turned to Andy when he suddenly cried out beside him.

“Yeah…”

“Well, can’t you track it?”

Norman stared at his friend for so long it started to hurt his eyes because he wasn’t blinking. Andy couldn’t even tell the right way up on a fucking cellphone and there he was with the obvious answer to all their questions.

“I fucking love you, man!”

Norman grabbed Andy and kissed him full on the mouth before turning and heading back in a hast.

“She might kill you for tracking her though. She’s probably just stuck in traffic somewhere.”

“I don’t fucking care. I’ll kill her first if something happens to her.”

“Ok, good no worries then.”

                                                               ---------------------

Jessie couldn’t move. The bike pinned her whole right side down from the shoulder to her hip. The moment she opened her eyes the pain that shoot through her arm made her scream out and shut her eyes again. She started to hyperventilate when she couldn’t get the bike off herself and moving just an inch made the pain worse. Norman’s face flashed in front of her eyes all of a sudden and she felt the panic ease. For each memory that rushed through her mind, her breathing slowed down and she was able to focus. She managed to threw her helmet off and somehow wriggle out of the backpack after tearing the straps apart.

“Fuck!”

She cursed loudly when she dug her phone out from her bag and found the screen broken and the phone dead. She placed the phone on top of her backpack after drinking half the water she still had left. She found herself looking up at the bright blue sky through the top of the trees surrounding her. She was thankful for the shade they provided for her in the 100-degree weather but the tears of fear still started to trickle down her face. Yelling was no use. She couldn’t hear a single noise besides the wind blowing and insects and birds buzzing all around her. Although she knew it was pointless, she checked her phone over and over and tried to bring it back to life. When she closed her eyes in an attempt to make her head stop spinning, an image of Norman the morning after their first meeting popped into her head. He was so young and she smiled despite the pain and fear rushing through her. She just prayed he would find her before it was too late.   

                                                               -----------------------

Norman felt everyone around him look at him as he stormed back inside and headed straight for his backpack in one of the corners. He tuned them all out and sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and rested the iPad in his lap. He was vaguely aware of Andy standing over him, almost like he was shielding him from anyone who tried to approach. He cursed himself for not thinking about this first. It should’ve been his first move when the uncomfortable feeling first started to come creeping. He said a fast pray she hadn’t changed her passwords for some reason. His prayers were answered and he quickly activated the search for her iPhone. He knew it was turned off but if he was lucky he would be able to get a better location to when she last used the phone. He stared at the map that started to come to life in front of him. There was nothing there. Just a green mass of woods and mountains with a smaller road in the middle of it. _Basilone Road_. Her phone had been stationary on this road since 11:54 am. The bad feeling kept on growing and all kinds of images popped into his mind. A bloody mess smeared on the road after being hit by a truck. A broken neck from taken a curve too fast. Body part and bike parts all over the road.

“Anything?”

Andy’s hand landed on his shoulder and he was glad for a reason to snap out of the dark path his mind had traveled. He nodded and shoved the iPad back into his backpack before getting to his feet. Sean was at the front door, waving a set of car keys in his hands.

“Call me, ok? As soon as you know anything.”

Andy didn’t even question wherever he should go look for her and for that he was forever thankful. He wasn’t focused enough to really registry this at the moment though and he simply nodded at the Englishman. A swarm of people suddenly moved in on him and from every corner of the room where his coworkers had enjoyed a nice lunch together, they wonder what the hell was going on and where he was going.

“I need to find Jessie…”

Was all he said before making his way through the crowed and headed straight for Sean, who was waiting for him with the door open. He could hear the showrunner shout something about breaking his contract and a hand closed around his wrist. He was forced to stop his progress towards Sean when Scoot stepped in front of him.

“Where’s she? We’ll just have someone pick her up…”

“No. I need to find her and I’m going to leave right now. Not when it’s convenient for you. If that’s breaking the fucking contract, fire me, sue me, I don’t give a fuck. She might be lying dead in a ditch right now and I need to fucking find her.”

“You’re willing to risk this for someone like her…?”

He felt Sean move in closer to his side and he knew the reason for it. It was the same reason he felt the urge to punch the showrunner to the ground. They stood side by side and stared at the man in the eye without moving and all that really was missing was the guns in their hands. Scoot quickly backed away and cleared his throat, clearly aware he had said the wrong thing to the wrong people.

“Hope you find her and that’s she alright.”

“Thank you…”

They didn’t speak to each other until they were in the car and Sean had taken the wheel after a silent fight over the keys with Norman.

“Where’re we going?”

He asked, turning to look at his friend in the seat next to him. Norman answered by placing his phone with the GPS coordination’s in the phone cradle. Once he had made sure the phone was security in place, Sean grabbed his hand and squeezed it for a second.

“She’s alright, Norman.”

“No she’s not.”

Saying the actually words made it possible for him to confirm his own feelings about this and he continued in the next breath.

“Don’t tell me she’s alright, Sean. I know she isn’t.”

“How can you possible know that?”

“I can feel it. I knew something was wrong before you called… Sorry for taking a swing at ya, bro. You really haven’t fucked her, have you?”

“No, Norman really, I haven’t touched your girlfriend. Well, not like that anyway…Alright, let’s just say she’s going to be alright. We’ll find her and make sure she’s alright. What about actually calling the police? They could probably get there a lot faster.”

“If there’s police, there’s going to be press....”

“I might know a guy.”

“You might know a guy?”

“Fuck you! I know shit.”

It was a relief to be able to laugh with Sean. He could always make him laugh, even in a situation like this but the moment past quickly and he headed straight back into his dark place once more. He couldn’t concentrate enough on Sean’s conversation but he gathered that Sean’s guys, whoever the hell it was, were going to look into it. All he could focus on was the map on his phone, showing how long they still had to get to where she might be. 40 miles. 30 miles. 20 miles. 10 miles. As there was less than 5 miles left, Sean began to slow down on the deserted road. It had been a while since they had seen a car in either direction and it made Norman even more nervous. She might actually be lying in a ditch somewhere without no one seeing her.

“Stay in the car.”

“Are you fuckin insane?!”

“Stay in the fucking car, Norman! I’m not asking you again. I’ll fucking tie you up if I have to but you’re staying in the damn car! Let me go outside and look for her.”

They had arrived at the exact coordination’s on the last position of her phone and Sean pulled off to the side of the road. Sean was fully aware that Norman wouldn’t listen to him long but when he actually stepped out of the car, he stayed behind. He gasped in the almost 100-degree heat as the sun hit his face. There was nothing but trees and bushes on the hard graveled earth on either side of the road. Only a few feet in front of the parked car there was fresh black marks on the asphalt and he didn’t have to look twice to know there were marks from a breaking vehicle. A two-wheel vehicle. Before Sean had the time to move, he heard the car door open. Together they followed the tracks that disappeared in between two trees that stood just close enough together for a bike to slide through and down the small slope on the other side. They both saw the bike before they saw her. The bike had fall on top of her, pinning the right side of her body to the ground.

“Jessie!”

Her name had never left his mouth in such a loud scream before and he pretty much fell down the slop in his haste to get to her. She stirred when he got to her side and he grabbed her face in between his hands. The helmet was lying right next to her as were her backpack, her broken phone resting on top of it.

“Hi.”

She was smiling. She was actually smiling and talking but it took her a few seconds to open her eyes to look at him.

“Are you ok? Baby, are you alright?”

“Fine. I’m just taking a break in between these lovely trees. I think my arm’s broken though. I wouldn’t mind getting away from here, whenever you feel like it.”

“Baby girl, you’re one crazy as bitch, how many times do I need to tell you?”

“Sean…? You didn’t blow our cover did you?”

“No, but you might if you don’t shut up right now, hon… You just stay right there, baby. You’re going to be fine.”

“I know that. It’s just a broken arm.”

“Can you move your leg?”

“Yes. I’m telling you, I’m fine. If I could lift 600 pounds on my own I would be out of here in no time but it turns out I can’t with just one hand.”

She groaned when her rescuers with combined effort managed to lift the bike enough for her to slide her body sideways. The pain she had felt in her arm had been manageable when she had other things to worry about, like if she would ever be found, but now when she was free from the bike and she was with the two men in the world she loved the most, the pain shot through her with such force she screamed out loud and cold sweat began to broke out in her face as she panted.

“Your bleeding.”

Sean quickly put a hand over a fine cut under her right knee. Norman’s focus was on her face, he held her head in his lap and talked to her, probably just to calm himself as well. But Sean couldn’t blame him and in some ways he was glad his friend kept his eyes locked with hers. He didn’t need to see her like this. Her jeans had ripped open all the way from the shoe to the knee on the right leg and blood was trickling down from the cut. Her foot, missing the sneaker, was blue from lack of circulation. He lifted his gaze inch by inch, checking her over with quick and careful hands and he was glad to find that she actually seemed fine from the waist down. Her arm on the other hand was a whole other matter. His stomach lurched a little as he saw the bone pipe stick out through her leather jacket.

“We need to get an ambulance out here. We can’t move her on our own, Norm.”

“We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere, it will take forever!”

“We past a military base, didn’t we? Like 15 minutes away. They should be able to send someone.”

Sean had already picked up his phone and had a 911 operator on the other end within seconds. But neither of them paid any attention to him. She kept looking back at him and it really helped to allow herself to drown in his eyes. The pain wasn’t as bad when he was with her.

“What happened, baby?”

“There was a horse in the middle of the fucking road. I came around the corner and it just stood there and I hit the brakes but I lost my balance and next thing I knew, I was lying here under that damn bike… Hey, don’t cry, baby. I’m fine.”

“You scared the hell out of me, Jess. I get to cry as much as I like and you just fucking suck it up, ok?”

“Ok… Is that a chopper?”

“Yes, they’re sending a chopper to pick you up and take you back to the hospital. It’s a marine base out here.”

Sean replayed as he made his way up to her head so she could see him.

“Hey, I get to see men in uniform again. I do love that.”

“You need to shut your mouth right now, J. Take it easy, love.”

“I love you, Norman Reedus.”

“I love you, Jessie.”

                                              --------------------------

Andy had to force the smiles to the fans and the answers to all the reporters as Saturday afternoon at Comic Con dragged on with press meetings and fan signings. Norman had been excused with a terrible migraine according to AMC but the rumors had already started to circulate.

Andy was never one to keep his phone on him but now he was checking it every 5 minute, hopping to hear good news. But when a text finally came, it was from a number he didn’t have.

_You can shove this up Scoot’s fucking ass and tell him to run and hide! /Sean_

He stared at the picture and tried to take it all in. The military chopper, the stretcher, her face. Norman’s face as he held her hand. He had a hard time remembering when he had seen someone in so much pain before. Her physical pain and his extreme agony to see the love of his life hurt.

_Andy: Where’re you? Is she ok?_

_Sean: She’ll be alright, need surgery though. Flying her to sharp memorial hospital_

_Andy: Is he going with her?_

_Sean: Yes. I’m driving back_

_Andy: How long before they get here?_

_Sean: Maybe 20 minutes._

_Andy: Tell him I’ll meet him there. He shouldn’t be alone_

_Sean: No he shouldn’t_

He was scheduled for an interview with Jeffery and Steven in less than 5 minutes and now they were just taking a break, drinking coffee and chatting but the moment he stared his conversation with Sean, Andy had already made ready to leave.

“You guys are going to have to do this without me.”

Both men turned to look at him, midsentence and with smiles on their faces. They quickly disappeared though when they realized Andy was serious. 

“She’s ok, right? She isn’t…?”

Andy shook his head at Steven’s question.

“No, she’s alive. She’s getting flow in, I going to h…”

“Whoo, what do you mean flown in? To where?”

“Sharp memorial hospital. Looked like a military chopper. Guess she was in the middle of nowhere.”

“Doing what?”

“She was riding down here from L.A. to meet Norman.”

“She was on a bike...? You’re sure she’s fine?”

Andy sighed a little impenitent but showed Steven the text from Sean.

“Her fucking bones are sticking out her jacket, man…”

“Yeah. See why I need to go?”

“Yeah, of course. Go… And I will shove it up Scoot’s ass for you if he has a problem with it.”

“Thanks…”

Before anyone else could protest or ask any more questions, Andy walked away with determent steps to find the closest cab he could lay his hands on. First and foremost, Norman was his family, not just a colleague and family always came first and he needed to be by his side no matter the consequences. He called his wife in the car, feeling a very strong need to just hear her voice at the moment. She knew of course something was up and she had him tell her within seconds. They shared a few tears over the phone but Andy quickly pulled himself together as he arrived at the hospital.

“I’m looking for someone. She should’ve got here in a helicopter, name’s Jessie. She has been in an accident. Did she get here yet? Is she alright? Can I see her?”

The words blurred out of him so quickly he had a hard time to make sense of it all himself and he couldn’t blame the frighten looking nurse on the other side of the desk when he came storming at her with all his questions. The nurse quickly composed herself though and began to tap the computer.

“Are you related?”

“No, she’s a friend… Her boyfriend’s my brother, he arrived with her. Please, I just need to see them. I need to know she’s ok.”

“Give me her last name.”

“Hamilton. Jessie Hamilton.”

“She has been transferred straight to surgery.”

“What about the guy that came with her? Where can I find him?”

“I’m sorry, there’ve been restrictions about this, I can’t…”

“I’ll look through every damn room you’ve on this fucking hospital until I find him so you might just do me a favor and tell me.”

“No need to rise your voice, mister….?”

“Lincoln. Andrew.”

“Andy?”

“Yes.”

“Well, if you would just have told me that to begin with it would’ve been a lot easier. If you follow me, I’ll take you to your brother, Mr. Lincoln.”

“Thank you.”

She took him to the very end of the long corridor with private patient-care rooms on either side. When she came to the end, she took a left and continued a couple of door down the next hall.

“It’s a little more private. Miss Hamilton will be transferred here when the surgery is done. It will be a couple of hours. Just push the bottom if you need anything. Mr. Reedus is in a pretty bad shape. It’s a good thing you got here so quickly.”

“Yeah… Thanks. Sorry for yelling at you.”

“No worries.”

Norman was on the floor when he pushed open the door and took a step inside. He closed the door quietly behind him before walking over to his friend. He was under the only window in the white room, sitting with his knees pulled up, his arms wrapped around them and his head resting on the arms. He could hear the silent sobs and when he stepped closer, he could see the man shake slightly.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her, Andy. I can’t… I really can’t live without her.”

“You don’t have to. She’s going to be fine, Norman. Jessie is going to be alright.”

Andy slide down beside him and wrapped his arm around Norman. He felt Norman drop his head to his shoulder as the sobs eased some. Andy had never really understood how much Jessie meant to him until they sat in that sterile hospital room and waited for her to come out of surgery. He had never seen Norman so completely devastated and lost. He was inconsolable, no matter what he said, Andy knew it wouldn’t matter, he wouldn’t hear it. He needed to see she was ok before believing it.


	17. Hero's

_Her baby boy was all grown up and so much alike his father that it was like looking at a reflection of Josh and it put a huge smile on her face. He still had her eyes though. He was looking at her through those big, green eyes that was so full of life and joy. It was hard to tell how old he was though. He might have been a teenager but it was something very boyish about his looks. His dark brown hair was long, going almost all the way down to his shoulders. When she reached out a hand to him, he mimicked her movement and grab his mother’s hands in his. He kissed the top of her hand and she put her other hand on his face._

Norman pressed his lips against her hand and whished for the 100th time that she would just woke up already. It had been less than an hour since she got out of surgery and she had just stared to stir. She was moaning and mumbling in her uneasy sleep, letting Jacob’s name escape her lips over and over. When his hand landed on her forehead, her eyes started to open slowly.

“Jessie? Baby?”

His voice was hors from lack of use but his low voice woke both Andy and Sean up. She tried to say something but it got cut off by an itching cough. The second she stopped coughing, he pressed his lips hard against hers. She actually began to giggle as she grabbed his face in her left hand. He was crying and she whipped the tears from his eyes.

“Stop this crying.”

She waved away the IV tube attached to the top of her hand as it got tangled in his hair. He kissed her once more before finally sitting back down in his chair next to the bed, but his hand never left hers. He helped her sit up and gave her some water.

“How are you feeling, baby girl?”

Sean bent down and kissed her forehead, while Andy simply let his finger linger on her check for a brief second before both of them sat down on the other side of her bed.

“I’m fine.”

Two of them rolled their eyes at her while the third still couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She rolled her eyes right back at them before quickly checking herself over. She really didn’t feel that bad but it might be because of the morphine being distributed into her veins at the moment. A red cast was covering her right arm from just beneath her elbow to the tip of her fingers. She had a vague memory of seeing her own bones sticking out of her arm but they seemed to have done a very fine job. She had yet to talk to the doctor but at least she could move her fingers and besides her arm, there was just bruises and cuts, all located to the right side of her body. She couldn’t of course see them now but she felt how soar she was. She knew she was lucky, pretty damn lucky to still be alive.

“Really, I’m fine. It could’ve been a lot worse. It would’ve been a lot worse if you hadn’t found me so quickly.”

“You actually have to thank Andy for that.”

Jessie’s eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline in surprise as Sean spoke. She turned to Andy and he nodded as he looked down on the floor.

“You don’t even know how to tweet.”

“That might be true but he remembered that you’ve an iPhone and that they can actually be tracked. What happened, Jess?”

“A damn horse stood in the middle of the road. When I swayed not to collide with the beast I lost control and ended up, wherever the hell I ended up.”

“Told you, you should’ve come with me.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Sean. I’m alive, right?”

“You wouldn’t have to be here if you would’ve been in New York like you said you would.”

She pursed her lips together tightly as she looked at Norman. He looked back at her with an empty expression. She had thought he’d be angry and hurt but this was almost worse. His anger she was use to and could handle but this indifference was new to her. She saw in the corner of her eye, how Andy and Sean got up and left the room.

“Norman… Look at me.”

She grabbed his chin and forced him to look up at her.

“I’m guessing Sean has already told you we haven’t been fucking, but if you need to hear it again, I’ll tell you. I didn’t go to L.A. on Wednesday to cheat on you with Sean. If I felt the need to have sex with him again, I would’ve told you and brought you with me. I needed to get away for a few days and I had an appointment with an old friend/colleague on Friday.”

“It still doesn’t give you the right to fucking lie to me, Jessie! Do you think I would’ve stopped you from going to L.A. to see Sean? And why the hell did you get Mingus into this?”

“Yeah, ok that was pretty stupid. I’m sorry I lied to you, baby. It won’t happen again.”

“Yes it will.”

“Good thing you love the way I lie then… I swear to God, Norman, I’m not fucking Sean. He’s like a brother and he’s my next best friend and I love him and I’m not going to apologize for spending time with him. I’m sorry I lied though.”

“If you ever do this to me again, I’ll fucking kill you, Jessie.”

“I’ll see Sean again, Norman.”

“I didn’t fucking mean that, your ass. If you get yourself hurt like this again, I’ll fucking kill you. You can go visit Sean as much as you like and fuck him all through Sunday if that’s what you want, but don’t lie to me and don’t get hurt.”

“I don’t want to fuck Sean all the way through Sunday. All I want is you. All I need is you, you know that. You always were a lot better you know.”

“I fucking heard that!”

Sean apparently had been eavesdropping outside the door.

“You were meant to! Go get us something to eat instead of eavesdropping at the door!”

She called back to the closed door, finally putting a small smile on her lover’s face. She moved as far away from his as she possible could and patted the space beside her in bed.

“You’re hurting.”

“It’s not going to get worse cause you stay close. It might actually get better.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Please, baby?”

He sighed but got to his feet and laid down beside her, careful not to press himself too close to her. But she didn’t give a damn and moved in as close to him as she could get. He wrapped his arm around her and she placed her head on his chest.

“All I could think about out there was how bad I wanted you to find me. I just couldn’t get your face out of my head…. It was weird though, cause all imagens that popped into my head was like from the first year we met.”

“You mean when I was still young and good looking?”

“Shut up… For your information, I do like this version a lot more than 10 years younger Reedus. You’re so much hotter with long hair.”

“I know you’re trying to make me feel better and get my mind off what just happened, but you need to just shut the hell up right now, Jess and let me hold you.”

“Ok… Sorry I scared you.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“I’ll try… I’m so not going to get my deposit back from renting that bike.”

“Shut up!”

“Right, sorry.”

She snuggled closer to him and ignored the pain in her right side as she closed her eyes, listing to the steady beat of his heart. His fingers were gently caressing her arm and shoulder and she felt him rest the side of his face to the top of her head after kissing it. She was halfway asleep when both of snapped open their eyes, hearing a knock on the door, followed by it opening and 3 medical personal dressed all in white stepped into the room. He was fully aware of the weird and maybe even disapproving looks from the doctor when he laid his eyes on the pair in bed, but he couldn’t care less. Jessie didn’t seem to care either, she didn’t even lift her head from his chest, but hugged him tighter.

“Miss Hamilton, hey, I’m doctor Dixon…”

Jessie couldn’t stop the small giggle that escaped her lips and she knew Norman rolled his eyes at her.

“Sorry…”

She said quickly.

“I don’t know how much you remember, you were pretty medicated when they put you on that chopper, but I was the one fixing your arm. It was a pretty bad break.”

“Yeah, I figured since I could see the damn bone sticking out of my arm. How long do I’ve to have the cast?”

“You broke both bones in the underarm and you have a smaller facture on your wrist. I fixed the break with metal plates and you’re going to heal fine, but the cast will have to stay on at least 6 weeks.”

“Ok. So when can I leave?”

“Miss Hamilton, you’ve just woken up from surgery after a major accident, you need to rest.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“I would like you to stay a couple of days for observation, Wednesday at the earliest, if you’re healing alright.”

“Sorry, doc that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to be in bedrest for 4 fucking days. I’m fine and I want to go home. I’ve a class Monday.”

“Now you need to shut your mouth again, Jessie. You’ll listen to what the doctor says and stay put or I’ll fucking making you. Ok?”

He received an annoyed glare from his girlfriend but the doctor and the 2 nurses that had accompanied him simply looked amused.      

“Any chance of a compromise?”

“You could try.”

“Could I be transferred home to Atlanta at least?”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m going to be eaten alive by AMC if I don’t bring this one home for production on Monday. And I know he’s not going to leave me alone even if I threaten to cut his balls off, so I would really appreciate if I could be transferred to Grady for example.”

“I really wouldn’t recommend you flying right now, Miss Hamilton. Your body has been through trauma, you need to take it easy.”

“But…”

Her words of protest got muffled when Norman clamped his hand over her mouth.

“We’ll stay right here until you discharge her. Thank you, doc. I’ll make sure she rests.”

“Good. I’ll be back later tonight but if you should need anything, just push the bottom. Get some rest, Miss Hamilton.”

Norman didn’t feel safe to remove his hand until the personal had left the room. She sighed heavily at him but decided not to pick a fight with him. She knew she would get it her way anyway. She just had to wait.

She hadn’t expected that it would get so quickly though. It was close to midnight when they once again were visited by the doctor. Sean was asleep with his head on the bed and holding her hand, while she and Norman quietly shared a box of nuggets after spending a few hours sleeping.

“Good, you’re eating. Don’t forget to drink too... Well, I’ve you transfer papers here, you just need to sign them.”

“Sorry?”

“A Mr. Gimple has arranged a private flight for you back to Atlanta. You’re leaving tomorrow morning with 2 nurses. You’re still going to be on bedrest so don’t get any ideas and Grady will make sure you follow through on the bedrest as well.”

“Ok… Thank you.”

“But what happened to the not-recommend-you-to-fly-right-now-talk?”

“She’ll be on an ambulance flight, Mr. Reedus, there’s really no different than to be here. I wouldn’t recommend you flying on a regular flight, but Mr. Gimple really insisted on getting you back to Georgia and asked what it would take for me to let you go so here we are… If you still want to go, there is.”

“Yes, please.”

Jessie turned to the table where the doctor had placed the papers and quickly signed it. Once again she thanked her guarding angle that the bike had fallen on her right side instead of the left. She would’ve been 10 time worse of if she had been her left arm that got broken. Norman had to her surprise, remained silent, he simply sat there and watched her conversation with the doctor and now and then glanced over to Sean who somehow had stayed asleep.

 “I’m really thankful for your help, doc but I would feel a lot better being closer to home.”

“Understandable… We’ve a heard of hysterical journalists at our front door, waiting for information. I haven’t been given them any yet and they’re getting very inpatient.”

“Just tell them I was in a traffic accident, broke my arm, but are recovering. And for God’s sake, make sure you tell them that he wasn’t hurt in any way or that he was anywhere near the accident when it happened. I don’t need any more reasons for his fans to want to murder me.”

“Alright then, will do, Miss Hamilton.”

“Thank you, doctor Dixon.”

The doctor left a comfortable silence behind in the dimly lit room and Jessie leaned back against the pillows in the slightly raised bed with a deep sigh. She was tired but not enough to go to sleep. Norman on the other hand, looked absolute beat and she put a hand on his face.

“Go to sleep, baby.”

He didn’t for once argue with her but simply leaned forward and kissed her, before moving his chair closer to the side of the bed and mimicked Sean by resting his head on bed. She sat stroking his hair, twisting the curls between her fingers, until she felt his breathing getting heavy and he fell asleep.

_My hero’s in every sense of the word. No words can describe how thankful I am or how much I love you @bigbaldhead and @spflanery. I will tell you guys all about it soon enough but for now I’m saying good night with a wish that wherever in the world you are right now, that you make sure to cherish your time on this planet because we never know when our times is up._

The picture of the two sleeping men on her Instagram went viral within minutes and she had over half a million likes when she woke up early in the morning. No one ever could restrain the MacManus brothers. She only found one of them though when she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Norman was nowhere to be found but Sean was looking back at her, still resting his hand on top of her right one.

“Morning. Sleep ok?”

“Pretty good, yeah. You?”

“I’m too old for this shit, my back is killing me.”

“Sorry, baby.”

She smiled and leaned over and placed a hand on his face. He kissed her palm just as Norman reentered the room. He halted in the doorway as he spotted them and a sting of jealous rushed through him. The second she looked at him though it all went away. There was nothing but love in her eyes when she looked at him. She didn’t look at Sean like that, she didn’t look at anyone else but him like that.

“I went to get some breakfast. Cream cheese bagel alright?”

“As long as there’s no salmon.”

“Since when don’t you eat salmon…? But no, it’s plain cream cheese.”

He pasted out breakfast to all three of them with a puzzled expression on his face. He couldn’t make sense of all the changes that was going on with his girlfriend at the moment. When he looked at her, he could find something new every time. It was strange because he had always thought that he knew every inch of her. But for the past months he saw new curves almost every time he allowed his gaze to travel over her body. She was so much stronger physical and he was both proud and pissed at her for showing her strength in a time like this. She shouldn’t have to think about his work but it was the first thing on her mind and she was too damn stubborn not to get her way. What pissed him off even more though was the fact that he had to choose. It wasn’t a hard chose when it came down to it, he was where he was supposed to be. AMC had him on a very short leash but he just wasn’t sure it was worth it anymore. She was living proof of that. All he should be focused on right now was her, making sure she was ok, but at the back of his head he still worried about work come Monday.

He had always been torn between the two; work and family. For a long time, it had just been Mingus though and the guilt about not spending enough time with him had been manageable. Now there was Jessie too. Seeing her pinned down under that bike had stopped his heart, frozen the blood in his veins and made him want to pray to every known and unknown God on the planet that she was alive. He really couldn’t live without her…


	18. Baby girl

She never really knew how much people cared about her or how many friends she actually had until she ended up at Grady. Her room was already overflowing with get well cards and balloons and other gifts as she arrived. To her and by the looks of it, Normans too, surprise there was a half a dozen people already in the room waiting for her. Steven, Andy, Gale, Laruen, Mellissa and Alanna with her daughter, were all there to welcome her. Norman even stopped in the doorway, managing to avoid being run over by her bed, by Steven yanking him to the side in the last second.

“What’re you doing here?”

He looked around the room in astonishment but followed the nurse that cared for Jessie quickly. He made sure she was comfortable and had everything she needed before turning back to the room at large and found them all looking back at them.

“Hey, guys!”

It was a relief to see them all again but it was Andy he went to first. As they embraced he could feel tears burn in his eyes but he swallowed them back as he heard Andy’s calm voice in his ear.

“She’s alright, man. She’s fine, Norman.”

When he had made his round he turned back around and found that his heart stopped for a whole other reason than the day before. Now it stopped out of happiness and shock. The beautiful little baby girl Marlowe was resting between Jessie’s legs, admiring his girlfriend while she talked to the girl. She had never been this close to either of the babies or younger kids on the show before. She liked them from afar she had told him once and he had accepted it without second thought. She had never minded them, she liked having the kids in the house but playing with them like this and holding them was new to him. He guessed she might actually just be happy to be alive and that she was happy to be able to see the bright and innocent smile of a child one more time.

“You need to fill me in on what happened with Mr. Gimple. I believe Sean’s text to you wasn’t all that nice, huh, Andy?”

“No, I believe he might actually have pissed his pants when he and Norm turned on him. Almost made me piss my pants to be honest.”

“What did you do? What did I miss? When did you make Scott piss his pants?”

“When he tried to stop me going out to look for you. Sean didn’t really like the idea either. We might have stared him down a little…”

“Boondock style.”

Steven added with a huge grin on his face. Jessie gaped at Norman but he simply shrugged and laughed along with most of the people in the room.

“I would’ve loved to have seen that… No wonder he felt the need to kiss ass so much.”

“Why do you think we’re getting the day off? You scared the hell out of them, Norm. It got even worse when Andy left. It was a bit chaotic, no one could really focus on anything so we headed back to the hotel shortly after Andy left… What happened to you, Jessie? Seems like you had a guarding angle, girl.”

“I happen to have five actually. Besides the arm, I’m fine really. Overprotecting doctors…”

“Hey!” ¨

Norman protested loudly.

“And boyfriends…”

She added and rolled her eyes at Norman.

“You’ll stay in this bed until the doctors tell you otherwise, baby.”

“Yes, sir.”

She hand saluted him, which cost the baby girl in front of her to shrike with laughter. Norman couldn’t resist the little girl’s laughter and grabbed her and lifted her up in the air, earning him more shrikes of laughter.

“How are you feeling, honey?”

Gale tried to catch her attention but it took Jessie a few seconds to tare her eyes away from the laughing girl and the man holding her. Only when she felt Gale’s hand on hers, did she turn to look at her.

“I’m good. Really don’t know how I’m going to be able to stay on bedrest for another 2 days. I really just started to get this routine of working out every day and then this shit happens.”

“You’ll be on your feet within 6 weeks, right?”

“I’ll be on my feet in 2 days, the cast’s coming off in 6 weeks. I don’t need my arm to dance, Gale.”

“You know he will tie you to the bed if you ever make that suggestion, don’t you?”

“He could try.”

“You need to take it easy, Jess. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Thanks, Gale I’ll try to remember that.”

                                                       --------------------------------

Norman called her every hour while he was away working and she was still in the hospital. She could almost set her alarm after his calls and at first she had really thought it was cute, but after the second day her mood switched to annoyance. He was so overprotecting it drove her mad. Unfortunately for American press that waited for her outside the hospital as she was finally discharged Wednesday afternoon, she was therefore not in the mood at all to greet them. Without really caring, she jumped into the waiting car AMC had sent to get her home, but it wasn’t before flipping every camera off.

“How are you, sweetheart?”

“Greg!”

She cried out in surprise as the man next to her leaned forward and helped her with her seatbelt.

“Orders from the man himself.”

“Fuck you, Norman…”

She muttered to herself as Greg drove off.

“Come on, baby girl, you know he’s only doing it because he loves you. He just wanted someone he trusted. And who could blame him with all those fucking bloodsuckers all over the place?”

“Just take me home, Greg please.”

“Will do, Jess.”

“He’s not going to be back until tonight, right?”

“No, they’re filming all day.”

“Great…”

She said, but the annoyers didn’t pass Greg by.

“Oh…?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, Jessie. What’s up?”

“Just hoped I wouldn’t have to wait so long to fuck him.”

Greg laughed out loud and glanced over at her but she kept her gaze out the window, calm as a cucumber. Her causal way of talking about sex had always impressed him at the same time as it scared him slightly.

“If you text him about that, I’m sure you won’t have to wait that long.”

Greg finally said between laughs.

“You’re kidding, right? I’ll be lucky if he fucks me before Christmas. Overprotecting bastard…”

“You’re in a very bad mood today, babe.”

“Yes I am. So it probably better if you just ignore me, cause I’ll ignore you.”

“Ok, silent ride it is. Do you mind if I put on the radio?”

“Not at all.”

                                                       ----------------------------

He sprinted up the front stairs after parking the bike in the driveway. She was finally home and although it was already dark and he was exhausted, he looked forward to spending a few hours in her company before getting some sleep. Maybe eating something, watch an episode of GoT or playing a board game. He kicked off his boots inside the door and left them and his jacket on the floor as he called out for her. She stepped out of the bedroom, into the hallway when he found her. She stopped to look at him and the look in her eye made him take an involuntary step back. She walked with determent steps up to him and before he knew what had happed, she pressed him up against the wall, grabbing his crotch in her left hand and kissed him hard.

“Whoo, baby what’re you doing…? Jessie… Shit….”

“You need to stop this overprotecting shit right now, Mr. Reedus. I shit you not, you hear? I’m fine and I need you to fuck me right now, ok?”

He wanted to protest, it was too soon, but his body betrayed him before he could get the words out. Her soft fingers had somehow found their way inside his jeans and she worked him over, hard and fast, getting him fully erected within seconds.

“Holly shit, babe. Slow down…”

She had dropped to her knees and he stared down at her as she began to suck his dick hard and fast. She looked back up at him, her mouth full of cock and smiled. The animal in him took control then and he grabbed her head as he began to move his hips in sync with her mouth. A 5-minute blowjob was all he could take though before he felt the need to empty himself inside her mouth. Quickly he took a step aside at the same time as he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her to her feet and into his waiting arms and lips. They had done this trip so many times before, from the hallway or kitchen or livingroom, to the bedroom that he knew it by heart. He could keep his eyes on her, making out with her madly, as he maneuvered them to the bed.

“Turn around, love.”

He asked as her back hit the edge of the bed. Jessie quickly turned around with her back to him and he dropped to his knees behind her at once. He moaned when he removed her shorts, his lips following his hands with kisses and found that she wore no underwear.

“You’re a very bad girl, Miss Hamilton.”

“It’s a fucking drag to put on one pair of pants onehanded, get used to it.”

She panted back as she leaned forward and rested the top of her body to the bed.

“Oh, I’m not complaining, baby. Not at all.”

He said as his hands grabbed her checks and spread them wide. She cried out the second his light fingers made contact with her wet pussy.

“Please, baby. I need you so fucking much. Please, Norm just make me cum.”

The desperate plea in her voice surprised them both, it wasn’t something she usually asked him and he made sure she wouldn’t have to ask twice. His tongue traveled over her pussy, hard and fast while his finger teased the sensitive walls of her insides. He left his fingers inside her and rose to his feet when she cum, calling his name out loud. She lay recovering for a moment or two, enjoying the feeling of very limb of her body relaxing. Then she rose and she groaned when Norman slipped his finger out of her. She turned around and found him wiping his mouth on the shirt he just removed from himself. She wrapped her healthy arm around his waist and grabbed him and closed the few inches that was still left between them. He reached out and grabbed the side of her head for the briefs of seconds before grabbing the back of her thighs and pushed her down on the bed. He was inside her before her back hit the madras and she wrapped her legs around his waist and threw her head back as he started to move. Neither of them were going to last very long and they both knew it.

“I love you. I love you so much, Norman.”

She pulled him down over her when she felt her own realize began to build. He protested a little though and tried to avoid putting his own weight on her. Instead he rested on his forearms and she glared for a second but it turned out to a moan as he kissed her hard and filled her up with his sweet seed, making her fall over with him.

“I love you too, baby… I don’t want to hurt you, Jess.”

He said, kissing her face and throat. He moaned softly as he felt her hands in his hair and he rested his forehead to hers after placing a final kiss on her nose.

“You’re not. Thanks for sending Greg to pick me up by the way.”

He rolled off her and they laid side by side, looking up into the celling and holing hand.

“Yeah, figured you’d feel better not having a stranger take you home. Why hating on the press all of a sudden though?”

“I was in a bad mood, you should be glad I didn’t shove my hand up one of their asses.”

“Yeah, please don’t… Are you in a better mood now?”

“Yes. I had expected to have to do a lot more begging though but this was fucking easy.”

“You did threaten to cut my balls of a few days ago so I really didn’t have much chose now, did I, your evil bitch?”

“Not to mention that you want it too.”

“Of course I wanted it, baby. I always want you but I don’t want to hurt you. Promise me you’re alright, Jessie.”

“I swear to you, Norman, I’m fine… Oh, before I forget. I promised to make sure you called Mingus when you got home.”

“Mingus called?”

“Yeah, we Skyped earlier. He kept me company when I ate… I need your help with something.”

“Anything.”

“Take a shower.”

He turned his head to grin at her when he heard how reluctant the words left her. She was really annoyed about that cast.

“Well little Miss Independent, what happened to managing everything by yourself?”

“Oh shut up…!”

She rose and when he followed she turned and pushed him back down.

“I guess I could call Sean… Or maybe Andy is…”

“Hey, don’t even go there, Missy.”

He rushed up and followed her to the bathroom. She had already turned on the shower when he entered the bathroom. She spun back around and found him in the doorway.  

“Or what?”

The challenge slipped out her mouth before she had time to stop it. Not that she really did want to stop it, she was just pretty sure he wouldn’t be in the mood of her games tonight.

“Is that the way it’s going to go tonight? You’re sure you can handle it, babe?”

Apparently she was wrong. She even gasped as he approached her with his eyes lucked with her and there was nothing but lust and longing in them. She felt her own pupils widen as her gazed wander over his gorgeous body. He really needed a shower. The dirt, blood and bugs, that hadn’t rubbed off unto their sheets had to be washed off even though she very much enjoyed the sight of him like a dirty redneck.

“Are you?”

She finally found her voice.

“I’ve got all night, baby.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“You should.”

**\------------------------------------**

Andy knocked on Norman’s trailer door and entered before being asked to do so. He brought coffee and lunch with him but as he stepped inside he found his friend asleep on the couch. They had an hour lunch and he hated to wake him up but he really needed to eat something too. Andy decided to compromise this time though and allowed him 20 minutes of sleep before shaking him awake. It took him another 5 minutes though to finally sit up.

“Thanks man…”

“Rough night?”

“Jessie isn’t sleeping that well, which means I’m not sleeping well.”

“Why not? Nightmares again?”

“No, I think she’s just stressed out. She has a show August 14th. I’ve barley seen her since we got back, she’s spending hours practicing.”

“Something one could go and see? It’s this weekend then, right? Fuck, the days just blur together, don’t they?”

“Yeah…. It’s Thursday today, right? I could ask her, I think it’s in Atlanta. Have you seen her dance?”

“I’m sure it’s a sight to behold. I mean she’s beautiful just standing on her two feet, I’m sure it’s not going to change on the dancefloor. You’re one lucky man, Norman. Finally…You’re ok though, right? You and Jessie? After everything that happened in San Diego?”

“Yeah. It’s been pretty wild and crazy actually, probably because we don’t spend so much time together and once we do, it’s…”

“Steamy?”

“To say the least.”

He sniggered and continued eating his lunch while telling Andy about their first night after she got discharged from the hospital. Wanting nothing more than brag and maybe making Andy a bit envious.


	19. August 14th 2016

Jessie couldn’t sleep at all the night to Sunday. She was practically bouncing in bed because she was so damn nervous. It woke Norman up in the middle of the night. She had already been twisting and turning for 2 hours by then.

“Baby, go to sleep.”

He could barley make the words come out as his voice was full of sleep.

“Sorry I woke you up.”

She kissed his head and told him to go back to sleep before she left the room. For once he was too tired to argued and he rolled over and fell straight back to sleep. She headed for the kitchen and made herself some nighttime snacks before sitting down to watch some TV. Watching an old TWD episode always helped.

Norman found her asleep on the couch, season 2 of Walking Dead still running. She must have watched it all from the beginning again. He started to make breakfast for them and was halfway through it as the front door open. The only one who did simply walk into his house without knocking was Andy or his son. 5 seconds later Andy showed up right in front of him.

“This shit is gotta end, Andy. You can’t keep storming in like this. I could’ve been butt naked for you all you knew.”

“I’ve seen you butt naked, Norm, doesn’t do much for me, man. And you’re pretty much butt naked right now. Besides, you do the same at my place. Had a fight?”

He nodded his head towards the couch and the sleeping woman as he helped himself to a cup of coffee and pored one for Norman as well.

“No, she couldn’t sleep and I guess she didn’t want to keep me awake so she moved out here in the middle of the night…You want me to turn it off?”

He pointed to the TV with the knife he was cutting up tomatoes with, knowing Andy never watched himself.

“Will it wake her up if you do?”

“Probably. She has always slept better with some sound in the background.”

“Then let it stay on. She need to sleep and I don’t have to look at the thing. Need a hand with anything?”

“You could make some juice.”

“Absolutely. Any requests?”

“For her 2 orange’s, half a mango, a slice of pineapple and some lemon.”

He recited quickly.

“Wow…You really do know everything about her, don’t you?”

“I think I do.”

“Favorite book?”

“Lord of the Rings.”

“Food?”

“Right now it’s pepperoni pizza but usually it’s fried chicken.”

“First boyfriend?”

“Martin, she was 14, he was 16 and they dated for 5 months.”

“What about favorite song?”

“Hotel California.”

“She doesn’t share your taste in music, does she?”

“You’re kidding right…? Nowhere near, man. But it depends on what mood she’s in. She’s been listening to a lot of Linking Park lately but her favorite group is the Backstreet Boys. Her first celebrity crush was one of them guys, AJ I think.”

“The boyband?”

“Yeah…”  

“Did not see that one coming… Holiday?”

“Christmas.”

“What about vacation?”

“New Zealand with her family when she was 10. They went there to celebrate her parent’s marriage. As an adult though, the trip we made with Mingus to Disney World a few years ago.”

“How about 3 things she can’t live without. And you don’t count.”

“Her iPhone, mostly because she’s always on Spotify, her bike and a small stuff grey cat named Snoopy.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s the first stuffed animal Jacob got and Josh had forgotten it at the apartment in New York before they… She always keeps it with her.”

“Something she hates or doesn’t like?”

“Right now, Trump is getting on her nerves. But other than that she hates bats, they freak her out with their shrikes.”

“So I’m guessing Batman isn’t her favorite superhero?”

“Daryl fucking Dixon, dude!”

“Eyefucking isn’t a superpower. You haven’t got superpowers.”

“Fine… She likes the X-men. Why are you here, Andy? Shouldn’t you be with your family?”

“They went back to UK yesterday.”

“Right.”

“So here’s a hard on, when and where is she born?”

“Is that supposed to be a hard one?”

“You barley remember your own birthday, man!”

“Well she’s born 12:12 pm, January 10 1981 in the backset of a taxi cab on 5th avenue.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“How the hell do you remember all this? You can’t even remember your lines… I know you don’t believe in that crap but she really is your soulmate, you know that, right? You will never find someone like her again.”

“I know. I’m not planning on finding anyone else.”

He saw her before he heard her. Her bare feet made no noise at all as she sprinted across the floor towards the bathroom by the front door. The unmistakable sound of Jessie vomiting made him drop the knife and he was halfway towards her, when she called out

“Don’t…! I’m fine, it’s just nerves.”

The toilet flushed and she turned on the water in the sink for a second, probably to wash her mouth and he waited for her outside the half-closed door. He grabbed her the moment she stepped up to him. He took her face between both hands and looked at her intently.

“I’m fine. Just nervous… Good morning, Andy.”

She grabbed Norman’s hand and walked back to the kitchen. She had never been this nervous before and seeing the reason for her nerves wasn’t helping. She really just needed to get some breakfast down so she could leave to see Sean as soon as possible. He had arrived the day before but due to a delayed flight, they had only had 2 hours of practicing the night before. She knew in her heart of hearts that it was enough, they had nailed it everytime but it still made her jumpy. She couldn’t even find enough rest to actually sit down to eat her breakfast. Both men were seated at the counter, eating and chatting but she kept bouncing on her feet, drinking her juice and eating her scrambled eggs.

“Jessie!”

Andy called out her name 3 times before she snapped her head to look at him.

“What?”

She looked up and found Andy alone in the kitchen with her. She could hear Norman talking on the phone, heading up the stairs.

“What the hell is going on?”

“I’m just so fucking nervous… I didn’t think it would be this nerve-racking.”

“You’ve performed in front of thousands…” 

“Oh good, you’ve actually bought that little lie. Means he has too…”

“What’re you talking about?”

“I need your help with something…I’m not performing with my class, there’s no such thing at all actually. I’ve something else planed.”

“For Norman?”

“Yes.”

“Is it a good something or a bad something?”

“I hope it’s a good something but it depends on him really. It’s 10 years since we met for the first time today.”

“Really? Beat he doesn’t know that.”

“Probably not. I’ve got something planned and I need you to get him there. It’s a small theater downtown. 6 o’clock tonight. Can you do that?”

“Of course. Do I need to bring anything else?”

“Tissues. Cause I’m going to start bawling, so he’s probably going to do the same.”

“What’re you up to, Jess?”

“You’ll see.”

                                            -----------------------------------

Sean’s hands gently wrapped around her waist and she took the final leap into his arms, her legs wrapped around him and the final beats of the music faded. She was slightly out of breath but she grabbed him and kissed him quickly on the lips.

“Awesome job, Mr. Flanery.”

He chuckled before dropping her back to the floor. She pulled her hair back and sighed as she looked out over the empty theater. Well almost empty, Mingus was there minding the music.

“Don’t get too touchy with him, Jess or I might tell dad.”

Mingus said, trying to hid his amusement but failed completely as he started to giggle when Sean flipped him off.

“You ready for this?”

She handed Sean his water bottle as he sat down on the edge of the stage. She couldn’t stay still though. She ran it all through her head and took a step once in a while without really realizing it.

“Well, you’re a pretty awesome teacher. Yes, I’m ready, Jessie.”

“What’s the story behind this?”

Mingus asked and Jessie closed her eyes as the first beats of _I put a spell on you_ reached her ears and her feet quickly fond the choreography. Sean turned and watched with mesmerized eyes. There was such a beautiful flow in every move she made. She made it look so easy. Even all the twirls in midair and flipping over herself looked easy as she did it. She found herself on her back, the song ended, before she answered Mingus.

“It’s the first song I ever danced to with your dad.”

“He can’t dance.”

“I didn’t say he danced, did I? I danced, he watched.”

“Please tell me there was a pole involved.”

She lifted her head from the floor and looked over at Sean. The giggle that left her mouth was enough answer for him.

“Ah….! I don’t want to hear!”

Mingus protested and covered his ears.

“You would make one hell of a stripper, J. And I say that with outmost respect. You could make Bill Gates go bankrupt.”

“Thanks, I guess…What time is it?”

“5:45. Andy was going to text when he got here, right?”

“Yeah. Put on Rhianna again.”

_On the first page of our story_   
_The future seemed so bright_   
_Then this thing turned out so evil_   
_I don't know why I'm still surprised_   
_Even angels have their wicked schemes_   
_And you take that to new extremes_   
_But you'll always be my hero_   
_Even though you've lost your mind_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_   
_But that's all right because I like the way it hurts_   
_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_   
_But that's all right because I love the way you lie_   
_I love the way you lie_   
_Ohhh, I love the way you lie_

_Now there's gravel in our voices_   
_Glass is shattered from the fight_   
_In this tug of war, you'll always win_   
_Even when I'm right_   
_'Cause you feed me fables from your hand_   
_With violent words and empty threats_   
_And it's sick that all these battles_   
_Are what keeps me satisfied_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_   
_But that's all right because I like the way it hurts_   
_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_   
_But that's all right because I love the way you lie_   
_I love the way you lie_   
_Ohhh, I love the way you lie_

_So maybe I'm a masochist_   
_I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave_   
_Til the walls are goin' up_   
_In smoke with all our memories_

  
_It's morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face_   
_Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction_   
_Hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry_   
_That you pushed me into the coffee table last night_   
_So I can push you off me_   
_Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me_   
_Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy_   
_Baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me_   
_Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me_   
_Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the_   
_Destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we_   
_Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs_   
_That we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky_   
_Together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills,_   
_You hit me twice, yeah, but who's countin'?_   
_I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count_   
_But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain_   
_Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refused counsellin'_   
_This house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand_   
_Square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it_   
_With you I'm in my fucking mind, without you, I'm out it_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_   
_But that's all right because I like the way it hurts_   
_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_   
_But that's all right because I love the way you lie_   
_I love the way you lie_   
_Ohhh, I love the way you lie_

She had asked Mingus if he wanted to part of this and when he had given her the song he felt would be most fitted for the first couple years of their relationship, she had wanted to cry at first. She knew he was right, it was the way had been, but he shouldn’t have known that. He had explained it to her though, that he didn’t think of the song as a failure. To him it really was a love song and after listening to the song a hundred times by now, she had to agree with him. She had always stood by his side and he by hers and they really couldn’t be without each other.

The second her phone buzzed with a text from Andy, her heart started to race and her mouth got dry. He was there.

“What the hell is going on, Andy? Where the fuck are we?”

“Stop with all the fucking questions, I’m not going to tell you.”

Andy had to grab him by the arm to make him move. The high celling, oval, shaped room was dimly lit with blue and white very comfy looking armchairs in rows in the middle. There were white drapes covering the walls and at the end a stage that rose a few feet over the floor. Someone was standing in the middle of the stage but Norman couldn’t make out his face.

“Hi, dad.”

Norman halted at the front row when his son spoke. He turned to Andy, who pushed him forward to take a seat.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Take a seat and I will tell you.”

“I’m fucking scared right now…”

He followed his son’s instructions and sat down in the front row, Andy following right beside him. He glanced over at his friend but couldn’t for once figure out what if Andy actually was setting him up. Payback for the glitter attack maybe. But Mingus would never be on it, would he? His own son wouldn’t turn against him, he was pretty sure. But he couldn’t come up with a reason why his son was there.

“Are you aware of what date it is today?”

“Not really. Should I? What did I miss?”

“August 14th 2006\. Ring any bells?”

He searched desperately in his memory for what his son was talking about. That was 10 years ago. How the hell was he supposed to remember one day 10 years ago? Then she suddenly popped into his head. Jessie, wearing a green cocktail dress that showed every delicious curve of her body. The smoky, green eyes that he had drowned in from first sight. He couldn’t find his voice as all the memories of their first meeting rushed through him. He simply nodded and Mingus grinned back at him.

“Yeah, I’ll give you moment to wrap your head around all that.”

He said and Norman was actually thankful for be giving a minute to try to recover from the rush of images that flooded his mind. Jessie naked on the floor in hallway as they hadn’t made it all the way to the bedroom. How they had taken a shower together in the morning and she had been on her knees…. He shook his head and tried to refocus on where he was at the moment.

“Done?”

“Yeah, sorry… What about it?”

“Today is August 14th 2016.”

“Oh…”

“And Jessie has never been good at expression her feelings for you, you know that. So she asked for a little help and that’s why I’m here tonight. She thought she’d do a better job showing you instead of telling you what you mean to her.”

“She hasn’t taught a dance class at all, has she?”

“Yes she has, they just don’t have a show tonight. She has put together a show for you. From the point 10 years ago up until now and… I chose the first song and I know it might not make much sense at first but if you really think about it, you’ll get it. I love you dad and so does she.”

“Now I’m really terrified.”

“Good.”

Mingus jumped off the stage and took a seat next to his father. His hand landed on Mingus face for a second and he was shocked to find his eyes slightly glossy.

“You ok?”

“Awesome. These are happy tears, trust me.”

“Ok… Hey, baby. What the hell are you up to?”

Jessie had entered the stage. She stepped into the spotlight and tried her hardest to get her trembling under control as she looked at the love of her life.

“Hi, babe… I’m no good with words so I’m just going to shut up and show you instead, ok?”

“Ok… Love the dress by the way.”

She felt herself relax as he smiled at her. She had a green laze dress with a corset on and she knew it would remind him of the dress she had worn the first time they met. Her feet were bar, she had always preferred dancing bar feet, it made her feel like one with the floor beneath her.  

He couldn’t move even if he had wanted to. It felt like he was glued to the seat underneath him as she began to dance. He couldn’t stop staring at her, following every little move she made. She really wasn’t the skilled when it came to talk about or express her feelings, but she made up for it 100 times over with her body. When dancing there was nothing holding her emotions at bay. She had the ability of showing it all. Anger, sadness, disappointment, happiness. And above all; love and affection.

He got so many flashbacks, he was glad the theater was quite dark and that he wore tight fitted jeans. At the end of the second song, she ended up sitting on the edge of the stage and he had expected her to be done and really just wanted to rush up and kiss her but Sean was suddenly standing behind her. He tried to find his voice but before he had time to open his mouth, _Thinking Out Loud_ started playing and she was wrapped in Sean’s arms. He couldn’t even find it himself to be jealous. She had said it wasn’t like that anymore, that she didn’t look at him like that anymore and she really didn’t. They danced like lovers on stages but he knew, he was the one she was thinking about.

She had always tried to expressed her feelings through music instead of her own words. Whenever she wanted to apologize for something, she would text him a Youtube video of a song she thought expressed the right words and this time she really hit home. He could tell Andy was crying next to him without having to look at him and it didn’t take more than a minute for him to feel the first tears roll down his checks. He didn’t want it to stop. He could watch her dance all night and never grow tired of it. The song ended however and she was on her knees at the edge of the stage, breathing heavily. Sean had discreetly moved to the side and the theater was dead silent as they looked at each other.

She had thought about how she was going to say it for so long and tried so many different things inside her head but as it came down to it, she decided not to complicate shit. They had complicated shit enough through the years.

“Do you want to marry me, Norman Reedus?”

She could hear her own heart pound in her ears as she waited for him to respond. She counted 5 heartbeats.

He moved quicker and a lot smoother then she had ever seen him do before as he leaped up on staged and grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her. He knocked them both over and she landed on her back on the floor as her hands tangled in his hair. She lost track of how long the tumbled around the floor, kissing and caressing but she was aware of the clapping and the whistling going on from the small audiences. When he finally pulled away they were both crying and he looked down on her laying on top of her.  

“Was that a yes?”

“Yes. Yes, Jessie, I do want to marry you.”

They took a few more minutes just to share a few happy tears between kisses, before he finally got to his feet and pulled her with him up into his arms. He lifted her off her feet when he hugged her to himself and they spun around.

“You assholes knew all about this without telling me?”

He narrowed his eyes over Jessie’s shoulder at the three guys standing in front of him. Jessie kissed his check before putting her feet back down on the floor and turned around to face them as well, her arm wrapped tightly around Normans waist though. She didn’t want to let him go just yet.

“Andy actually didn’t know all of it.”

“Yeah, what the fuck, Jessie? You should’ve told me you were going to propose, I would’ve brought more tissues.”

Andy sobbed a little and dried his eyes with the back of his hands.

“Sorry, Andy.”

“How long have you practiced for this, man? You were fucking awesome.”

Norman looked at Sean, he had a huge grin on his face but he could tell Sean had tried really hard not to break down in tears as everyone else, but had failed and giving in as well.

“About 2 times a week since July.”

“You’ve never been back in New York at all, have you?”

“Nope.”

“I’m never fucking trusting any of you again…

“Congratulations, you two.”

Everyone started to move at the same time and Sean hugged Jessie so hard she was sure she was going to get a bruise in the morning.

After she had hugged Mingus last, he turned to his father, while still holding Jessie’s hand.

“Dad?”

As Norman turned around to him, Mingus picked up something from his pocket and held it in the palm of his hands. A small black velvet box rested there.

“Mom helped me pick something out.”

“I really didn’t feel like I had the time to find something so I pasted the task on to Mingus.”

Jessie added on, a bit concerned, but he simply walked up to her and kissed her before grabbing the box from his son. Inside were two identical platinum band rings. There was an inscription on each of them.

“That’s elvish…”

Jessie grabbed the smaller of the rings and turned to gape at Mingus. He blushed slightly and shrugged. She placed her hand on his check and smiled.

“They’re beautiful. Thanks you, Mingus… _Yours_ , right? It says _yours?_ ”

“You read elvish? Wow, you really are a geek.”

She gave Andy an evil eye but it really was with a smile on her face. She grabbed the bigger of the rings and read _mine_ on it.

“ _Mine_. This one says _mine_ … Yes, I do know elvish, yes I’m a geek and a proud one.”

“Good thing you broke your right arm.”

Norman said as he grabbed her hand. Sean protested and asked them to hold on as Norman slipped the ring onto her finger. He said something about Instagram but both of them protested at once.

“No!”

“No Instagram, Sean.”

“I was fucking kidding… Chill, dammit. I’m putting up our dance online though. No way I went through all that training and not getting any creed for it.”

“Brag about that all you want, Sean, you earned it… Have you found the perfect angle yet? I would like to put a ring on her finger.”

“I’m good, go ahead.”

She began crying again as the ring was slipped onto her finger and she returned the favor to his left ring finger. He was a marked man now. She was his.

“ _Mine,_ huh?”

He watched the symbols on the ring closer but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how someone could make sense of it and actually make out words. It was very beautiful though and different. Helena might have picked out the rings but his son had made them one of a kind.

“We need to go out and celebrate!”

“I would love some food actually. I’m starving.”

Jessie said as a follow up request to Sean’s suggestion and they were all quick to agree.

“I should change first th…”

“NO!”

She had taken a step towards the backstage to change out of her dress when all 3 adult males shouted out at the same time. The confusion on her face as she looked at them and his father’s angry glare at Sean and Andy made Mingus double over in hysteric laughter.

“She ain’t married to you yet, Reedus so I’m still allowed to say that you’re looking too damn hot in that dress to change into anything else, baby.”

Sean glared back at his friend before turning and winked at Jessie. She sighed and rolled her whole head at them but decided to humor them and keep the dress on. She smacked Mingus at the back of his head when he wouldn’t stop sniggering but the kid simply hugged her tightly, making his father succumb to a fresh set of tears.


	20. Dying

It was weird how quickly she got used to it. She glanced down on her hand resting on the steering wheel and the ring felt like it had always been on her finger. Not just for eight days. She admired the inscription so long she missed the light turning green and she jumped when the car behind her honked. Quickly she put her foot down on the gas pedal and the car moved forward. She was heading home after a morning class with 4 extremely talented young women but their spoiled brat attitude was getting on her nerves. Daddy’s money could take you only so far when it came to performing and dancing and the sooner the brats learned that lesson, the better for everyone. She had gotten into a very loud argument with one of the girls this morning and she knew she would feel bad about it, but she really couldn’t at the moment.

 She had gotten so used to this; working a few hours a day, heading back home to take care of whatever needed to be done in the house that day. Today was laundry day. She didn’t mind any of it, not even cleaning the house. She loved her life just the way it was. She loved waiting for Norman to get home at night, have dinner with him and talk about what he had done during the day. He would ask what she had done as well and most evenings they ended up watching a movie or an episode of a TV show, before going to bed together.

_Andy: You don’t happen to have some miracle remedied to the male flue?_

She actually laughed to herself as she read Andy’s text as she parked the car on the driveway and stepped out of the car.

_Jessie: Pore baby are you dying? A fever? Runny nose? Headache?_

_Andy: Yes! Help me! Save my life woman!_

_Jessie: I do happen to make one killer chicken soup. Give me an hour_

_Andy: Thank you_

_Jessie: Are you actually not on set today? Must be a first_

_Andy: I’m fucking dying here, J!_

_Jessie: I’m on it. Stay strong. Be brave, you will survive this. JSS_

_Andy: Fuck you!_

She grabbed the mail before heading inside. After flipping through the half dozen letter quickly and finding nothing of great importance, she headed straight for the fridge to make the dying man some much needed soup. While the soup simmered she did some of the exercises she had been shown to get her wrist and arm back to full function. The cast had come off just 3 days before and she was so relived but she had lost a lot of strange and needed to exercise daily. As she flexed her fingers back as far as she could the stack of letter suddenly caught her attention on the counter in front of her. The top letter was from Grady Memorial, she recognized the signature red cross at the corner. Thinking it was probably another bill, she opened the letter and scanned the top quickly but halted at once.  

_August 19 th 2016 _

_Dear Miss Hamilton,_

_You had an appointment Thursday 18 th to remove a cast after breaking your arm and upon this visit I decided, with your full consent, to run a few tests as you were complaining about a lack of sleep and stress lately. The blood test showed a very high volume of_ _HCG (humant choriogonadotropin). I got the impression that you were not aware of being pregnant and I therefore encourage you to get in contact Dr. Charlotte Owens to make sure you get the prenatal care you need. She’s expecting your call so do not hesitate to call. You will find her contact information down below._

_Good luck,_

_Dr. Wright_

She wanted to scream but she couldn’t find her voice. She felt like she was falling and she grabbed the side of the counter for support as she read through the letter twice, three, four times. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Her mind went completely blank and she stared into space with the panic rushing through her with full force.

                                                        ---------------------------------

Norman found his own car parked outside Andy’s home when he decided to swing by his costars place on the way home. It had been weird not having him on set but he hadn’t even been able to talk in the morning and been sent home to rest for the rest of the day. It was a very grey looking Andy that met him indeed when he knocked on the door and stepped inside. He came dragging his feet, wrapped in a huge blanket, his eyes red and wheezing with every breath he took.

“You look like hell.”

“You should’ve seen me a few hours ago. This is better.”

“This is better?”

“Yeah, but could you please bring the crossbow and shoot me in the head? I rather fucking die right now.”

“Sorry, dude not going to happen. You will just have to get through this… Sit down before you fall down.”

Norman helped him back to the couch from where he came. The TV was on, showing some sitcom.

“Where’s Jessie?”

“Out back. She brought me soup. I love your girlfriend, man.”

Andy’s words got strung together the moment he laid down on the couch and began to shut his eyes.

“Go to sleep, man.”

“You should go talk to her, she’s weird…”

“Andy, go to sleep.”

“Ok…I love you, man.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He was asleep within seconds and Norman stayed a minute longer just to make sure, before he headed outside. He found her in the very back by the tree line. She was on one of the swings, on foot still in the ground as she swung gently back and forth, her gaze fixed a million miles away. As she was facing away from him, he sneaked up on her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and snapped her head around. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying and a single tear was making its way down her right check.

“Honey…?”

She turned away from him and shook her head slightly. He moved in front of her and squatted down and grabbed her knees, making her stop moving. When he searched for her eyes, she wouldn’t look at him and she turned her face away from his touch as he tried to lift her chin.

“What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me, Jessie, please.”

“I’m pregnant.”

He felt himself open his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He wanted to ask if she was kidding, but he knew better than that. He stared at her, at the top of her head as she refused to look at him. He fell down on his backside and he tried to make sense of her words as quickly as he possible could. She needed him to say something but he wasn’t sure what it was yet. He ran the words through in his head over and over and tried to comprehend what it actually meant. For her. For him. For them. Then it all fell into place. All the changes she had gone through. They had both thought it was because of her work. The constant eating, gaining weight, lacking sleep, mood swings. But that started months ago…

“What do you want to do?”

The words left his mouth without him barley being aware of speaking them himself. But it made her lift her head at last. She looked down on him, whipping her eyes as she did.

“I don’t know.”

A small beckon of hope started to lit inside him as she spoke. He knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up but he had expected her to say she would want to get rid of it but maybe now he could actually be able to talk to her.

“When did you find out?”

“This morning… They ran some tests as I removed the cast and… They sent a fucking letter.”

He got up on his knees and grabbed her waist, leaning in to hug her but it was with hesitation. He wasn’t sure she wanted him this close at the moment and he was ready to back off at any second. She kept looking at him, trying to calm her racing heart. She was relived to find that he eased the panic just by simply being there. When he carefully put a hand on her face, she actually managed to take a deep breath. They sat there in silence for what felt like hours, but it probably was less than one. Jacob’s life rushed through her mind once more. Just like it had the last time she found herself in the same situation. This time was different though. He was with her this time and she wasn’t even sure what she wanted to do. 6 years ago, she wanted nothing else then to do an abortion but now she had doubts. She knew she was still in shock and that she shouldn’t make any decisions just now and when she finally spoke, it was with well-chosen words.  

“I need to go see someone before I decided what to do.”

“We… Please, Jessie… Don’t shut me out. We’ll go and see someone before we deiced what to do.”

She nodded and she could see his entire body relax in front of her. She grabbed the letter from the pocket at the front of her hoodie and handed it over to him. He read it through once before getting to his feet, his phone already in hand. She heard him convers with the female doctor but she wasn’t focused enough to hear his exact words. But he was suddenly right in front of her again and asked her something. 

“Do you want to see her now? She says she can see us in like an hour.”

She nodded her answer to him and she found herself on her feet. She swayed slightly as all the blood rushed to her feet quickly. He was there to hold her steady, keeping her feet firmly on the ground. Like he always had done. She caught him off guard when she threw herself at him, burring her head in his chest and just wished for him to hold her. He wrapped his entire body around her it felt like and she had never felt safer. She knew she would be alright. They would be alright no matter what happened next.

                                              ----------------------------------

He held her hand tightly as they were shown through the dark hospital by a security guard. It was after midnight and the hospital was quiet and the only people moving about was ether medical personal or cleaning crew. He had asked for discretion and he was quite impressed how discrete they actually were. They met no unauthorized personal whatsoever on their way to the OB/GYN ward and Dr. Owens was waiting outside the doors for them.

“Thanks for seeing us this late, Doc.”

“Of course, Mr. Reedus. I spoke to Dr. Wright earlier today and he was… I don’t know how much he told you, Miss Hamilton?”

The female doctor spoke while they walked through the empty corridor towards an open door at on the right side.

“I got a letter this morning, just saying I was pregnant and to contact you as soon as possible.”

“Ok, well it’s a good thing you’re here.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Your HCG’s levels were very high, Miss Hamilton. Please, lay down and remove your top.”

“What does that mean?”

Jessie followed the doctor’s instructions and pulled her shirt up, exposing her lower belly. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, kissing it hard.

“That you’re probably a lot further along than you think you are… Any guess as to when you might actually have gotten pregnant?”

“No… I’m taking birth control pills, I’ve for the past 10 years. I changed sort about 2,5 years ago and I haven’t had my period since then.”

“I see… Shall we take a look then?”

“Can I…? I just… The thing is that I’m not sure this is what I want… What we want… So could you just do what you have to do and just keep to the medical aspect for now. I don’t need to…”

“I understand, Miss Hamilton, of course. I’ll be quick.”

She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand hard as she felt the cold jell on her stomach. She didn’t even open her eyes as she felt the woman press the sonogram to her belly. Her mind was full of images of Jacob’s first ultrasound.

“Holly crap…!”

She actually wanted to laugh when Norman suddenly cried out but quickly apologized in the next heartbeat. She opened her eyes and found him staring back and forth between the grey screen, her belly and searching for her gaze. Dr. Owen did giggle a little at his comment.

“Holly crap indeed.”

“But that’s a baby… It’s actually a baby.”

Norman couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It looked like a full grown baby inside her. Arms, legs, feet, fingers, all of it where it was supposed to be. It looked like it was even sucking its thumb.

“You’re 16 weeks pregnant, Miss Hamilton.”

They tried to wrap their heads around the number at the same time. She counted backwards but his mind was heading forward. 16 months. That meant she was already 4 months pregnant. Almost halfway through. She finally turned and looked at the screen. She felt the doctor start to move again and the image of their baby vanished before she had time to really look at it.

“No… Please, not yet.”

The woman smiled warmly at her, before doing as asked. Jessie saw the small head first. A tinny nose and fingers that played in front of the face. Thinn arms and long legs that moved a little. And she fell in love. Right there and then. It was so unexpected and out of the blue that she really couldn’t do anything else then start crying. It was such overwhelming feeling and something she had only felt once before in her life and that had been the second time she had seen Jacob. Beside her, Norman was crying as well.

“I understand that this is a lot to take in… Did you really have no idea that you were pregnant?”

“How is this even possible? How can she be 4 months pregnant?”

“Well to start with you have an anterior placenta. It means it grows on the front side of your uterus, with the baby behind it, which is why you’re not showing yet and why you’ve not been able to feel it move. Have you been feeling sick at all?”

“No.”

“Under a lot of stress lately?”

“Yes…It’s fine? I mean… The baby, it’s fine?”

“Yes, everything looks just fine, Miss Hamilton. It’s a healthy and growing baby. I’ll give you a few minutes alone to take this all in. I’ll be in my office just across the hall whenever you feel ready to come and talk to me.”

She wiped away the jell from her stomach and made to leave the room but not before printing out 2 pictures for them to keep. She left them on the bed right next to Jessie as she sat up, whipping her eyes as she did.  

“Please, Jessie… I’m know this is selfish as hell but I’ll never ask anything else from you. Please, baby could we please try to make this work? I really want us to bring this kid into this world. We could do it, I know we could. You could do it, baby. I love you, Jessie. I’m begging you, baby.”

He was ready to get down on his knees if it was what it took. He would fight until his dying breath for her to make her see how good this could be. They could be a family. They could start a family and rise a baby. Their baby. She grabbed his face and kissed him, effectively shutting him up.

“Ok.”

She said and it took him a few seconds to realize what she had just told him. Once the two letter word sunk in and he managed to make sense of what it actually meant, he almost knocked her off the bed as he kissed her.

                                              -----------------------------------

It really wasn’t until the morning after that she had allowed the whole thing to really settle in her mind. She woken up half an hour before his alarm was about to go off. He was still asleep behind her with his arm wrapped around her, one had resting on her tinny bump. Cause there really wasn’t any question about that she had a bump, tinny yes, but it really was there. She had just chosen to ignore it and blame the dancing for her weight gaining.

Carefully she removed his arm and got up to pee. As she rose from the toilet she caught her own reflection in the full body mirror besides the door. She removed her tank top and stood sideways to look at herself. Her hands landed on top of the small bump and she cradled it for a second. She had made up all kinds of scenarios inside her head after reading that letter that turned everything upside-down but her first thought had never been to get rid of it. Her first thought had been Norman and how much she needed him right now to get through this. She knew he would support her no matter what but the moment she had seen him watch the ultrasound image of the little bump, she wanted nothing more but give him what he wanted. He would have gone down on his bare knees and begged if he had to, she knew that.

She crawled back into bed and kissed him awake.

“No… I was having such a good dream.”

He moaned and rolled over to his stomach but faced her with a smile on his face. She leaned in and kissed his lips.

“Sorry. I just wanted to talk before you leave.”

“What do you want to talk about, babe?”

He couldn’t see it but she rose both eyebrows at him.

“Where you at the same place I was a few hours ago? I’m pregnant. Ring any bell? 16 fucking weeks pregnant.”

“You mean that wasn’t a dre… Fuck, you’re pregnant…!”

He scrambled up, slightly panicky and looked down on her. She gave him a couple of minutes to get his brain starting and it was amazing to watch how he journeyed back a few hours.

“Are we really doing this? Is this what you really want, J?”

He was kneeling beside her and one hand landed feather light on her stomach.

“Yes, we’re really doing this. I mean if everything goes as planned and no complications accrue, yes.”

“I love you, baby.”

He kissed her quickly and directed his attention right at her bump when he let her lips go. He placed his head, one ear down on her stomach and his fingers gently danced over her naked skin.

“I love you too.”

“Say it again. Please, I need to hear you say it again.”

“We’re having a baby, Norman. You’re going to be a dad

“Shit… I’m really too old for this, you know.”

“You’re the biggest kid I know, you’ll never get too old.”

She tangled her hands in his hair.

“Andy thought you were pregnant 2 months ago. Can I tell him? I’ve to tell mom and my sister and Mingus and…”

“Hold you horses, baby. Could you give me a few days to just adjust to this first? It’s a whole lot to process. I’m 16 weeks knocked up. I’ve gone through half the pregnancy without knowing about it.”

“I think you knew. Somewhere deep down you knew. I think I knew too.”

“Maybe.”

“When did she say you’re due? February 8th, right?”

“Yes. You’ll get to tell everyone, Norm but could you wait until the end of the week at least? We could have a dinner party or something. Are you happy? Is this what you want?”

She felt him stop and rest his chin to the bump after kissing it. They looked at each other for a moment before he gave her a gorgeous smile. It really was enough answer, he knew that but he gave her one anyway.

“Yes, Jessie this is what I want. I’m the happiest man alive right now, baby and that’s because of you and this little kid inside you… I think it’s a boy. Fuck, Mingus is going to be hopeless.”

“Not to mention Sean.”

“Does he know?”

“How the hell would he know? I didn’t call him. Did you?”

“No… I’m sorry I’m asking this, baby but… You’re sure it’s mine, right?”

“God dammit, Norman… Yes! Of course I’m sure it’s yours. The last person I fucked besides you were Andy and that was more than 6 months ago. I get that you ask, baby but I promise you, there hasn’t been anyone else but you since after London. This had to happen in May, we had moved here by then.”

“Let’s say it was that day Mingus caught us. That could be an awesome story someday.”

“It might have been. We need to stop having so much sex.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Fuck yeah…”

She giggled as he glared at her.

“Good. Where’s Jacob conceived?”

“The back of Josh’s jeep out in Brooklyn. I still hadn’t introduced him to mom and dad so we sort of sneaked around and had sex everywhere but in a bed. What about Mingus?”

“The shower, I think. At least that’s what Helena said… Could you do me a favor and take it a little easier at work? Maybe cut a class or two?”

“Come on, baby don’t start this overprotecting crap again.”

“But it’s not just you anymore. Please, Jessie. It’s a fucking miracle you didn’t lose the baby when crashing the bike.”

“He has five guarding angels watching over him too.”

“See? You think it’s a boy too.”

“It…! You want to hear something insane?”

“Other than you being pregnant you mean?”

“I saw Jacob after my surgery. I know I was high on drugs and all that but it was so real. I could see him so clearly. He was tall like Mingus, looked just like his father, except the eyes. He had my eyes and he looked so happy. At peace, you know? I think it’s easier this time around because of that. And of course because you’re right here this time but it was like he was telling me it was ok.”

“It’s going to be ok, baby.”

“I know it is. I love you.”


	21. Murder

“Dad, dad, dad, dad, where’s she? Where’s Jessie?”

Mingus came storming in through the front door screaming like there was a fire. Norman rushed to meet him to calm him down but his son barley saw him as Mingus looked around the living room and kitchen for her.

“Is this what’s it’s going to be now? I don’t even get a hug from my own son?”

He protested by throwing both arms in the air in gloom but Mingus simply rolled his eyes at his father and walked past him.

“What the hell is going on out here?”

Jessie had been in the basement going through and sorting boxes all morning. She was carrying a box in her hands but dropped it as Mingus rushed right at her. She hugged the boy tightly, she had no chose really as he threw himself at her.

“Hey, Mingus.”

He took a step back after hugging her and looked her over. His eyes fixed on the small bump that had begun to really show the last couple of days. Or maybe it was simply the fact that she knew she was pregnant that she could see it and that she had taken to wear a lot more fitted cloths. They had called Mingus with the news just the morning before and he had been on the first flight out.

“You’re really pregnant?”

He actually placed a careful hand on her stomach and she smiled and put her hand on his face.

“Yes. But go say hi to your dad before he murders you.”

Mingus turned around and found his father indeed glaring at him. He said a quite ‘sorry’ before hugging his father.

“Just had to make sure you guys weren’t kidding. She’s really pregnant, dad? You’re having a baby?”

“Yes. Come on, sit down and have some lunch… And leave the damn box on the floor. I told you I was going to bring it up.”

Jessie ignored Normans request and picked the box back up and placed it on top of the other one she had brought up.

“I’m not fucking dying, Norm, I can carry a damn box.”

They sat down at the dinner table but they had barely begun to eat before the questions came pouring out of Mingus’s mouth.

“How did this happen? When’s he…? Is it a boy or girl? How are you feeling? How long do you still have? Are you guys staying here?”

“Holly crap, Mingus slow down.”

Jessie laughed at the impatient teenager next to her and past him the water as he once again apologized.

“No need to apologize, I get that you wonder. I’m 16 weeks, going on 17 tomorrow.”

“Isn’t it a full-term pregnancy like 40 weeks?”

“Yes.”

“Then why the hell wait this long to tell me?”

“Cause we found out about it this Monday.”

Norman took upon himself to retell the whole story about the events a couple of days before and now and then Jessie sneaked in a comment or explanation as well. Mingus sat quite for a few moments and ate after listening to his father’s account of the what had happened. It was a lot to take in and they both knew it and therefor allowed him to process all the information in his own time.

“So when’s the due date?”

“Early February. And no, we do not know if it’s a boy or girl and we’ve decided not to find out either. As to whether we’re going to stay here, we haven’t had time to talk about that yet. And I’m feeling just great, thank you for asking. I’ve had trouble sleeping but other than that I’m fine. No one knows about this yet, though. Just you and your grandma and aunt, we would like to keep it that way. Until Labor day.”

“What about Labor day?”

“Your dad is having a party.”

“How are you planning on keeping this from the press?”

“Not sure yet. I guess we’re hoping I won’t show that much. Let’s just say there won’t be a lot of outdoor activities. If it was up to your father I’d be on house arrest until next year but we all know that’s not going to happen.”

“No, you haven’t even stopped working, have you? You’re still teaching classes just like before, right?”

“Yes and I’m not going to stop!”

She pinned down her boyfriend with a detriment gaze.

“We will see.”

“You’ll never win that war, dad. Might as well give up right now.”

“See? Listen to your son, he’s a very intelligent young man.”

“Never!”

_June 2010 – Atlanta, Georgia_

_Jessie’s phone buzzed with a text from Norman as she was getting her hair cut. The hairdresser abruptly stopped talking when she picked up her phone to read and replay to the text._

Please come down and stay with me for a few days

_She debated his request for a few seconds. She hadn’t seen him for 5 weeks now and she really had started to miss him but he had really pissed her off right before she had left him this time around._

Why?

I miss you and I know you miss me too

In your dreams!

You are actually. Every night baby. A fucking drag coz it makes me horny as hell

Show me

_She actually gasped as she received a picture back. He was standing in nothing but underwear in front of a mirror, dirty as hell and blood on his arms. He was showing off his impressing erection and she actually bit her lip as she realized she wanted to see him right now. She needed him although she hated the power he had over her at times._

_“That is one mighty fine looking man, Jessie.”_

_“He is indeed. The bad thing is that he knows it very well.”_

_“Dating him?”_

_“No.”_

_“Gay?”_

_“Sorry, Dan no…”_

_“The best ones never are. What’re you waiting for? Go put him out of his misery.”_

_“He’s in Atlanta.”_

_“So? Go to him, take the next flight. He clearly needs you.”_

Please baby girl. I really need you here right now. You know I’ll beg until you give up

You mean your dick needs me?

Yes my dick really needs you baby. Please just get on a goddamm plane and come down to see me. You know you want to. Don’t make me beg J

_“He calls you J?”_

_“Stop readying my fucking texts…! Yes, he’s the only one who calls me J.”_

_“Who is he? He looked familiar… Are you dating a celebrity, miss Hamilton?”_

_“I’m not dating anyone.”_

_“Then why are you booking a flight to Atlanta right now?”_

_“Cause he happens to be a fucking genius in bed and I actually do miss his dick even though he drives me absolutely insane most of the times.”_

_“Somehow I think it’s the other way around, Jessie.”_

_“Yeah, we drive each other up the fucking wall I guess…”_

_“For how long?”_

_“3,5 years now.”_

_“You love him!”_

_She scowled at the hairdresser through the mirror but he simply smiled back at her._

_“You should allow yourself to love again Jess you know that. It would kill your parents to see you this alone.”_

_“Don’t go there right now, Dan… I know you’ve known my parents forever but don’t fucking go there. I’m alone, yes but it doesn’t mean I’m lonely. There a s difference. I’ve Norman whenever I feel the need to and his son... I’ve his son too.”_

_“Norman Reedus….! I knew I had seen him before. You’re fucking Norman Reedus?!”_

_“Yes I am.”_

_She said it with proud in her voice and she really was most of the times. She knew he was a vert sought after single man and yet she knew he wouldn’t want anyone else but her. She really didn’t want or need anyone else either but she was never in a million years going to tell him that._

_\------------------------------------_

_He loved his new job. It was the best move he had done in a very long time and he had to remember thanking Jessie for it whenever she came to see him. He rented a small apartment in the suburbs of Atlanta and it was late when he parked the car outside the complex. He almost got run over by a kid on a skateboard when he ran around the car towards the door, when he spotted her sitting outside._

_“Why do I always have to wait for you outside some fucking apartment in the middle of the night?”_

_He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet and into his arms without answering. He pushed her up against the door and locked lips with her._

_“Cause I’m worth the fucking wait, baby and you fucking know it.”_

_He found his keys while kissing her madly and got the door open. They stumbled through it and into the elevator before she broke away to speak again._

_“We’re back in a fucking elevator again.”_

_She chuckled as she found herself pressed up against the back of the elevator. He held her waist tightly in both hands and pushed his erection into her pelvis. She moaned into his mouth and ran her hand up his back under the shirt._

_Somehow that neither of them were quite sure how it happened, they made it into the apartment. She had always been quick in getting both of them naked, but this time he wasn’t even aware of her beginning to take his clothes off before he found himself naked in the hallway._

_“Holly shit, baby how the hell do you do this so fucking fast?”_

_She dropped to her knees on the hallway carpet and wrapped both hands around his erection. He hissed and she lifted her eyes to look at him._

_“Maybe I did miss your dick that much, huh?”_

_She said and stuck her tongue out to meet the tips of his cock. He smiled and grabbed her by the hair. She opened her mouth wide for him and he thrust his hips forward into her wet and hot mouth._

_“It’s time to introduce yourself to your new neighbors, baby.”_

_She said after blowing him for a while and he moaned softly but she wanted more and wrapped her hand around him and worked him over fast and hard, making it very hard for him to contain his need to yell her name. He shut his eyes tight and pursed his lips tightly shut as well, biting his own tongue in the process. He usually didn’t hold it in like this but he didn’t want her to win tonight. He was still really pissed that she had left._

_“Oh, is this how this is going to go tonight?”_

_She asked teasingly and swiveled her tongue around the top, driving him insane. Quickly he moved, grabbing her under the arms. He took her hand and pulled her through the living room and into the bedroom. He pushed her down on the bed and crawled right after._

_“You scream first, babe.”_

_He said, smiling as he bit her nipple and pushed himself inside her, fast and hard. She hadn’t expected it at all and cursed involuntary. She grabbed his upper arms tightly and they began a silent struggle for dominance. She managed to wrestle him around and forced his arms over his head, pinning him down. He wasn’t backing down though and she found herself on her back within seconds. She got frustrated and tried to break away once more but as he began to move inside her, she lost the battle and gave in to her needs._

_“Come on, baby. I know you want to.”_

_He watched her squirm under his hands as he got to his knees without allowing his cock to slip out. He placed one of her legs to his shoulder and began to really slam inside her. He knew she wouldn’t give up that easily. She even scowled at him but as he moved one hand to her pussy and began to run his thumb over her clit, she began to lose control for real. He smiled to himself, kissing her ankle as she arched her back closer to his hand. He had to repress his own moans as he watched her massage her boobs and allowing his own name escape her lips._

_“Fuck, Norman…! Shit, baby don’t stop.”_

_She exploded to his touch but kept her mouth firmly shoot, smirking at him at as he scowled a little at her. He didn’t have much time to really scowl at her though, as he suddenly found himself on his back again. She moved so fast and he was still a bit dazed after experienced her orgasm around himself and therefor had no idea how she managed it but his wrists were tied to the bedpost before he had time to stop her. She sat back between his legs and watched him once she was done tying him up. It had been a lot easier then she thought it would but it was probably because he had enjoyed her orgasm too much._

_“Jessie…?”_

_She smiled at the nervous tone in his voice and he tugged at the cloths she had used to restrain him with._

_“No, baby it really is you that’s going to scream.”_

_She said and licked her lips as she watched him. She placed her hands on his thighs and ran her fingers lightly towards his hips. He hissed and bucked them to meet her touch. When she saw his cock actually twist in front of her, she moaned quietly and leaned down to grab his length in both hands and kissed the top. She lowered her mouth around him, inch by inch until she had swallowed him as much as she possible could. She surprised herself as well as him when she managed to keep him deep throated for longer than ever before. He was gasping and in a desperate need to move but she kept his hips firmly pressed into the bed. She wouldn’t allow him to force himself on her tonight, he knew that when he lifted his head and looked at her. She had an evil smile on her face that he knew too well. He was going to be begging tonight and she wouldn’t give in for a very long time._

_She had him twisting and turning under her touch within minutes. Her tongue and lips made contact with the head of his cock only while she ran her fingernails all over his craving body. Again and again she denied him his realize by stopping sucking his dick just in time before he was about to cum. After the 4 th or 5th time doing this within the hour, she sat back on her heels between his legs and watched him. He lay panting, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body was shining with sweat. She had expected him to beg a lot sooner but yet he had remained quiet as far as begging went. He had cursed at her, calling her names and tried to kick her. _

_“Fucking bitch! Fucking crazy bitch!”_

_He was so out of breath it was heard to make out his words. He opened his eyes and lifted his head enough to look at her. He had no strength left in him whatsoever, he was completely drained and aching worse than he ever had before. He had never been this on edge in his entire life, his balls so tight they were screaming for realize._

_“Please, Jessie…Baby girl, please. I’m begging you. Make me cum. I need to cum, baby Please, Jessie love.”_

_She smirked when the words finally left his mouth. She wrapped one hand around him and leaned down over him._

_“Scream, baby.”_

_She whispered against his lips before kissing him. She guided him inside herself and he stopped breathing when she sat back up and began to move around him. He screamed her name so loudly they both knew every neighbor awake in the building could hear him. She rode him quick and hard and made him cum within seconds. She stopped moving and watched him hit his absolute high. His entire body spasms under her and he filled her up so much she felt it trickle down between their legs. He had closed his eyes shut but when she gently began to roll her hips around him, he snapped them open and yelled._

_“Fucking shit! God dammit, Jessie!”_

_“Easy, baby.”_

_She hushed him and placed her hands on his chest and moved around him until she could feel him go limp inside her and he stopped trembling. When she leaned over and untied him, his arms fell limply on either side of his head. He didn’t even seem to notice when she got up from the bed to collect a wet towel for the bathroom to clean them both up with. It took him almost 15 minutes to return to the land of the living and she waited patiently beside him. Finally he turned his body towards her and wrapped one arm around her hips and kissed her shoulder._

_“Holly shit, J. That was fucking insane. You’re fucking insane.”_

_“Thank you. Go to sleep, baby.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_“Thanks for coming. I’ve really missed you, baby.”_

_“Me too, Norman.”_

_She caressed his face and kissed him before pulling the cover over them both and she watched as his breathing got heavier with each breath and he fell asleep._

 

He had past his old neighborhood on his way into Atlanta and got a flashback so vivid with details that he had almost forgotten why he was on his bike and where he was going. He was going to pick up some new cloths for Jessie while she was back home getting everything ready for the party later that day. The second he parked the bike outside the store she had directed him to, he picked up his phone and called her.

“What?”

She snapped when she answered the phone.

“Sorry, babe am I interrupting?”

He heard her sigh and he knew she hadn’t really mean to take out her bad temper on him.

“I’m sorry… No, not at all. I love you.”

“Love you too, baby. I just wanted to tell you I really miss my old place in Atlanta so fucking much right now.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Norman?”

“I drove past the apartment I was renting during season 1 back in 2010. Remember?”

The line fell quite for a few seconds and he could imagen the flashbacks she ran through her head as well. He heard her begin giggling.

“You’re one dirty fucker right now, Mr. Reedus.”

“As I recall it, you were the dirty fucker most of the times when we stayed there, J.”

“And you loved it…”

“What’s there not to love?”

“True… I got a text from Andy just now. I’m guessing you couldn’t keep your mouth shut anymore?”

“He forced me!”

He hadn’t been able to keep his mouth shut. Andy had known something was up the second they saw each other again after they found out Jessie was pregnant. He had however been able to avoid the questions pretty damn good if he was to say so himself.

“You should be proud of me, baby. I did manage to keep my mouth shut for 2 weeks! And it wasn’t without effort. He’s been on to me like a fucking zombie and he finally figured it out this morning. I mean he has guessed it like 10 times a day and tried to make me admit it but I never have. But this morning he was a fucking pain in the ass.”

“Yeah, it must have been awful to have your own bitch do everything you ask him to… Come on, babe I know Andy has been bringing you breakfast, lunch and snacks and god knows what for the past week, buttering you up pretty good, right? He knows the easiest way to get you talking is through your stomach.”

“Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not mad, babe. Don’t worry about it… Can I call Sean then?”

“Sure. I love you, J.”

“Love you too, Norm. Drive carefully.”

“Always. See you soon.”

She hung up in her boyfriend and not even a minute after the front door opened and Andy rushed inside the house. When he spotted her in the kitchen, he headed straight for her without a single word and grabbed her hard and hugged her.

“What the hell, Andy….?”

He actually had tears in his eyes as he pulled away and held her at arm’s length to look at her, his eyes fixed at her belly.

“Can I…?”

Seeing him so emotional made her chook up a little as well and she simply nodded when she couldn’t find her voice. He placed both hands on her bump and his entire face lit up like a 4th of July as he felt a small kick only moments later. Out of nowhere, he burst out crying and he hugged her once more. She hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from the Brit and she wasn’t quite sure why he was crying but it made her break down in tears as well as they hugged each other.

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know… Why are you crying?”

“I’m pregnant, I don’t need a reason. What’s your fucking excuse?”

He started to laugh as he wiped the tears away.

“I just can’t believe you’re actually pregnant. For real. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really, really alright with this, Jess?”

“Yes, Andy I’m really alright with this. We’re having a baby and I’m really looking forward to it, it’s going to be great. Scary as fuck but it’s going to be great. It’s what he wants, what _we_ want.”

“20 weeks, huh? You should be a lot bigger. Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s alright. It’s just taking a backseat in my uterus.”

“Norman said it’s a boy.”

“He doesn’t know that… Why are you here?”

“To help you of course. So what can I do? Put me to work, woman.”

“Fine. You can bring up some extra chairs from the basement to start with. I’m going to go call Sean.”

“He doesn’t know yet?”

“No.”

“Tell him I said hi.”

Andy said as he made his way towards the basement while she went the other way towards the bedroom.

“I will.”

She entered the bedroom and collected her iPad before settling in at the head of the bed and propped up the pillows behind her back. She smiled as the familiar Skype ringtone filled the room.

“Hey!”

His face appeared on the screen after the 3 ring and she beamed right back at him. How she missed the man on the other side of the country. She hadn’t seen him since she proposed to Norman and it felt like half a lifetime ago, seeing how much had happened since then.

“Hi.”

“What’s wrong?”

His smile quickly disappeared as he heard the hesitation in her voice. She wasn’t even sure why she suddenly had a hard time finding the right words. This was supposed be a call about good news but it overwhelmed her all of a sudden what they were about to do. Everyone would know she was pregnant after tonight.

“It’s not wrong, it’s just… Fuck, I didn’t think it would be this hard to tell you.”

“Tell me what? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Is Reedus alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s fine, we’re fine.”

“What’s going on, baby girl?”

“I’m pregnant.”

Everytime she said the words it still made her slightly panicky. But for each time she said it got easier to handle and now she simply took a deep breath and felt a smile spread over her face as she looked at the man 10 000 miles away. His eyes seemed to be leaving the sockets and he opened and closed his mouth over and over, seeming not to know what to say.

“Did the frame freeze?”

She finally asked and giggled.

“I,I,I…I… What…? I… Do you want me to say congratulations?”

“Yes.”

“Congratulations!”

He finally unfroze and pretty much shouted the words at her.

“Oh, man…Wow. That was…”

“Unexpected.”

“Fuck yeah. Did you try to…? I mean, was this planed? You never told me you wanted to, he didn’t tell me….”

“We didn’t. I mean, he might have wanted me to get pregnant but I… It just happened.”

“Are you alright? You’re keeping it? I mean, with your history, it’s…. Fuck, Jess I’m coming down there as soon as I can, ok?”

“It’s fine, Sean. I’m fine, really. I want this, I really do. There’s something else too though.”

“What? Don’t tell me you’re having twins or something…”

“No. But I’m 20 weeks.”

“20 weeks what?”

“I’m 20 weeks pregnant, your idiot.”

“What?!”

She knew she would be retelling this story a few times tonight so she practiced it on Sean first, telling him everything that had happened since she first read that letter. She had saved the letter along with the first ultrasound images, thinking it would make a neat addition to a scrapbook sometime in the future.

Norman walked into the house and heard Jessie moving about in the kitchen talking. He couldn’t find anyone else though and wondered for a second if his girlfriend had lost her mind. But as he approached he could hear his onscreen twin and real life best friend coming from the iPad leaning to the coffee jar on the counter.

“For I second, I really thought you’d finally lost your mind and started talking to the furniture.”

She straightened up from the dishwasher and sprinted at him with a dinner plate in one hand. The tight embrace made him drop the shopping bags to the floor and he kissed her back when she attacked his lips.

“Fucking gross, man!”

Norman flipped Sean off, earning him a set of giggles from the older man.

“I love you.”

“I love you too… How are you, brother?”

He directed his attention to the screen as Jessie went back to the dishwasher.

“Great, man. Congratulations, Norman. A baby, huh? Awesome, man, congratulations.”

“Thanks… Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.”

“You guys are going to have the prettiest baby ever.”

Norman grinned from ear to ear at his friend’s words and looked over at Jessie, who simply smiled and shook her head. He grabbed the iPad and walked off to the bedroom to continue his conversation with Sean a little more private as Andy opened the front door and began haling food inside the kitchen.


	22. JDM

Jessie stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and watched her outfit. She had dressed up in a pair of white chino shorts and a black, loss fitted tunic with gold jewelry. She didn’t really want to show off her baby bump before he had told them. She still wasn’t all that comfortable being the center of attention with this much people. Which was kind of weird as she had always loved performing on stage. The more people, the better. But this was his family and to some of them, she was still an outsider. Many had taken her in with open arms but she was still holding back and wasn’t completely at ease with everyone just yet. Andy, Steven, Greg, Alanna and Melissa where the once she socialized most with and it was no surprise to either of them when Alanna was the first one to arrive, little less than an hour earlier then what was said. She knocked on the bathroom doorpost and Jessie looked at her through the mirror as she applied mascara.

“Hey!”

“Hi… Wow, you look awesome!”

“So do you. Are you alright? We’ve missed you on set, I haven’t seen you for weeks.”

Jessie finished the makeup before turning to Alanna and hugged her before they walked back out to the bedroom and continued out to the living room.

“I’ve just been busy working but I’m going to try to head out to see you guys this week, promise.”

“Good… So what can I do to help?”

“Norman and Andy is setting up the tables out on the porch and I was thinking we’d set up the food in here and people can just grab what they want and head outside. Sounds like a good plan?”

“Awesome… This is enough food to feed an entire army, you know that right?”

“I know. But there’s pretty much an entire army coming. How’s your daughter?”

“Good, still growing too fast though. She’s with her dad tonight, I really felt a need to be away from them a little, you know?”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.”

“You ever get the feeling of just being…?”

“Smothered?”

Jessie asked and the actress nodded.

“I do. It’s hard not to in any relationship and out here it’s so intense. I’m heading out to L.A. next weekend to visit Sean just to get away from here a little.”

“I really don’t know how you do it.”

“What?”

“Handling all the publicity, the paparazzi and fans and all that. It’s insane.”

“It’s part of who he is so there’s really no chose. I knew what I was getting myself into long before we actually went public with this.”

“Show me the ring!”

Jessie proudly placed her hand on the counter and Alanna grabbed it and examined the jewelry closely.

“Have you set a date?”

“No. We have barely had time to talk about it at all actually. We’ve just really been trying to keep it out of the press.”

“They don’t know yet, though, right?”

“No. It’s still just the closest circle that knows about it and we’re trying to keep it that way…. Shit!”

She let out an involuntary hiss when a kick was aimed hard against her lower ribs and she gripped the counter hard.

“Are you ok?”

Alanna rushed up to her but Jessie quickly waved her away.     

“Fine, fine… Menstrual pains.”

“Come on, Jessie cut the crap. You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

“It’s that obvious?”

“No, not really but I knew something was up the moment Norman met me at the door. He’s a hopeless lair.”

“I knew he would be the one blowing this up.”

“So you’re pregnant?”

“Yeah.”

She finally looked up at her guest and found Alanna close by, beaming at her. The two women embraced each other at the same time as Norman and Andy walked in from the backyard. Alanna attacked her friend with a bear hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“Congratulations!”

“To what?”

The confusion on Norman’s face made the rest of them burst out laughing.

“Really? You really are thick sometimes, man. Did you really think I wouldn’t figure out something was up?”

Norman looked at Alanna and then over at Jessie and then back again and finally put two and two together.

“Oh… But I thought you wanted me to tell them.”

“I didn’t tell her but you’re a shitty actor inside these four walls apparently.”

“Sorry…”

He apologized with a smile on his face and walked over to kiss the mother of his unborn child.

Lucky for them, none of the other guests had the same gift as Alanna seemed to have though and not before long the house was swarming with people wherever she looked. Friendly faces smiling and laughing with a drink in their hand while mingling around the house and out on the porch. She did the same, trying to greet and talk to everyone but she found herself drawn to the people she felt most relaxed with and seek the company of Andy, as Norman as the host was too busy. Andy quickly noticed what she needed from him and wrapped his arm around her shoulder while keeping up his conversation with Michael and Melissa.

When he looked around his home he felt extremely blessed and thankful for each and everyone to some extent that night. She found Jessie on the arm of Andy and at first he got very confused. He wondered how he could’ve missed them getting a lot closer the past couple of months but he was glad they had. He knew she didn’t exactly loved these kinds of parties but now she seemed to have find her place. She met his gaze and rose her glass to him and smiled. He nodded to her and saw how she tensed for a second but as Andy squeezed her shoulder, she relaxed again and nodded once back to him.

The buzz of laughter and talking died out slowly as he clinked his glass to get everyone’s attention. His heart was pounding in his chest and he could feel his pules quicken as everyone turned to look at him. He ought to have gotten use to speaking in front of people after doing all those panels and interviews but it was something entirely different to have a room of people he loved and cared for in front of him. He cleared his throat.

“I really just wanted to say welcome. I’m really glad you’re all here and I hope y’all will have a great time tonight. There’s plenty of food so feel free to eat and drink all you want.”

He hesitated for a moment, deliberating his next words carefully.

“There’s something I would like to share with you though, seeing as pretty much everyone is here right now.”

He looked at Jessie as he said the words and if he wasn’t mistaken, Alanna had moved over to her and she grabbed Jessie’s hand.

“Jessie and I are having a baby in February of next year.”

Two heartbeats pasted before everyone started to talk at once and shouts of congratulations were delivered before people began to move towards him or Jessie.

It took him more than hour but finally he was able to wrap his arms around Jessie and she wrapped hers around his waist and they shared a long hug in the kitchen when they were both heading back inside to collect some more food at the same time. When he pulled away, he grabbed her face and leaned in to kiss her.

“How are you?”

“Fine. A little overwhelmed.”

“Yeah… I love you.”

“I love you.”

She leaned in to his chest and hugged him hard as she took a deep breath. She felt exhausted but happy. Jeffrey showed up on the other side of the counter to collect more food and he stopped when he came face to the couple. She looked up at him from under Normans chin and waited for him to say something. She hadn’t really got to know Mr. Morgan that well yet. Frankly, he scared her a bit but that was mostly because of the character he was playing.

“You really do know how to pull of one hell of a party.”

“Glad you’re enjoying yourself, Mr. Morgan.”

“You do know you can call me by my first name, right?”

“I know but you still scare me a bit.”

She felt Norman chuckle and Jeffrey smiled too.

“Sorry… A baby, huh? Didn’t see that one coming. How are you feeling?”

“Tired but other than that I’m fine.”

“How the hell have you been able to keep this a secret for so long?”

“Cause we didn’t know about it until 3 weeks ago.”

Jeffrey acted the same way as everyone else had when she spoke. He pretty much let his jaw drop to the floor as he stared at them.

“Come again? Aren’t you like 20 weeks pregnant?”

“Yeah… Long story.”

“Come tell me about it. I’m not going to bite you, Jessie. I would just like to get to know you. I kinda like your fiancé you know.”

He turned and headed towards the empty couch in the back of the living room. Pretty much everyone else were outside on the porch. She hesitated for a second but after Norman nudge her in the side and smiled, she collected her own plate of food and went to join the man on the couch. He pated the place beside himself as she approached and she crawled into the sofa with her plate in her lap.

“I read your books.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? You’ve sold millions of copies, why so surprised people have actually read it?”

“I’m not, just surprised you have.”

“You’re a really good writer. I cried like a little bitch reading both of them.”

“Sorry about that. You have kids, right?”

“Yeah. Two sons… He’s really existed about this.”

Jeffrey nodded his head out towards the porch and she figured he meant Norman.  

“I know.”

“I get the feeling you’re not sharing his excitement though.”

“I do, I just… I haven’t really had time to process the whole thing yet. I mean usually you have like 8 months to prepare for a baby to arrive, I’ll have not even half that time.”

“How could you not know that you were pregnant?”

“Cause I haven’t had a period for 2,5 years so technically I shouldn’t even be able to get pregnant. But I guess faith wanted something different and here we are.”

“You’re going to have the prettiest kid alive. Is it a boy or a girl?”

“We don’t know and we’re not going to find out. Norman thinks it’s a boy but I know he’s hoping it’s a girl.”

“It’s going to be an asskicker either way, right?”

She grinned at him and nodded.

“Yeah… “

“Why did a lot of the cast and crew warned me about you as I joined season 6?”

“Really? Who did?”

“Does it matter?”

“You don’t have to rat anyone out, I know who talked to you…They told you to stay away from me, right? Cause I was… A slut? Man eater? Going after everything on two legs? I’ve heard it all really, but I guess that’s what you heard right?”

“Yeah… But when we began shooting again in May there was no one else but Norm. Right? I mean, you made me fucking jealous. You’re so in love with each other it’s fucking disgusting. So you might understand my confusion when the first thing I hear about you is that you’ve pretty much nailed everyone on set, both crew and cast and when we met for the first time you seemed like there hadn’t been anyone else in your life but him since the beginning of time.”

“Well, for 10 years anyway…”

“You’ve been dating for 10 years?”

“No…! God no… We’ve been…. It’s complicated.”

“I’m sure I can keep up.”

“He’s been… Part of my life since 2006 but in the beginning it was just… Physical, you know? We tried after a while to make it work, to really date but it never worked out. It’s been pretty insane, on again, off again about a 100 times by now. It’s been my fault really, I never could commit to him like he wanted me to.”

“Because of what happened to your family?”

“Yeah…. I got commitment issues I guess.”

“So why are you here now?”

“Cause he was done waiting and I realized I’ve been in love with him for the past 2 years really, I was just too afraid to admit it… You’ve probably already heard a lot of rumors about me, right?”

“I really don’t listen to gossip and rumors.”

“Yeah you do, everyone does…. Most of them are true, you might has well know that from the start. Whatever you wanna do with that information is up to you. I’m not going to make excuses and try to explain to you or anyone else, I don’t care what you think of me. What you see is what you get and if you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine. I’ve everything I need and that’s him.”

“Damn, girl….! Listen, I really don’t give a fuck what you’ve done or what he’s done before, I’m getting to know you now and I really like you. Andy told me to look out for your bitchen attitude but I like it. You don’t’ take shit from anyone and although I intimidate you, you’re not afraid to speak your mind. I appreciate that.”

“Bitchen attitude, huh?”

“He said it with a lot of love though.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he did.”

She looked away from the man beside her and scanned her surroundings. Andy was in the kitchen with Lauren and Steven and he must have felt her look at him because he tore his gaze away from Steven. He rose an eyebrow questioningly at her but she simply shook her head with a small smile on her face.

“You mind if I join you?”

Andy walked up to the couch and they both looked up at him. Jessie moved a little and freed some space for him.

“Sure you can handle my bitchen attitude?”

She asked and giggled lightly, letting Andy know she really was just messing with him. He tensed a little anyway but when she rested her hand on his thigh for the briefest of seconds, he relaxed.

“I’ve known the bitch a lot longer than the over-her-head-in-love-with-my-best-buddie- version of you, Jessie.”

“True, sorry about that.”

“Yeah, I really don’t want her back.

“When did you guys first met then?”

They looked at each other at the same time and burst out laughing together as the question came from Jeffery.

_August 2010 – Georgia_

_They had hit it off right from the start. Andy had fallen head first in love with him, not in a romantic way, but as a lifelong friend and they had started to hang out every chance they got even outside set. Norman didn’t have quite as much work to do as Andy but he always hung around on set even though he was free._

_“Fuck you, J1 What the hell…?! No….! Don’t even fucking go there!”_

_Andy was just about to knock on the trailer door but as he heard the raised voice from inside, he hesitated. He had never heard Norman so angry before. Apparently he was on the phone, because he couldn’t hear any response to his anger._

_“If you’re so fucking worried, come down here….! So it only goes one way, huh?! Fuck that, J! How many guys have you fucked since I last saw you…?! Fuck you….! Go to hell, bitch!”_

_He heard the older man kick something inside the trailer, followed by a loud curse and Andy decided to come to the rescue. He wasn’t really sure what he could to do to help or if Norman actually wanted his help but he needed to try. He knocked once and entered before being told to. He found his new found best friend pacing the little floor space that wasn’t occupied by the tiny kitchen area or the couch at the other end._

_“Andy!”_

_He spun around and Andy could tell he tried really hard to get his temper under control._

_“You’re alright?”_

_“You heard?”_

_“I’m sure Sarah heard you and she’s like 2 miles away from here… Everything alright?”_

_“Yeah…No… I don’t know.”_

_He sunk down on the couch with heavy sigh and Andy walked up and handed over the Starbucks he had brought._

_“Sorry I don’t have anything stronger.”_

_“Yeah, I could need a drink right now.”_

_He rubbed his face hard with one hand before he took a sip of the hot coffee. He realized as he drank the coffee that Andy had learned just the way he liked his coffee in just a few weeks and it cracked him up. He had deliberated back and forth about letting Andy into his best kept secret but as he sat there with the Englishman and drank his coffee he started talking without really realizing it. Only a handful of people in his closest circle knew about Jessie and they didn’t really know that much about her. But to his slight surprise he kept talking about her and their twisted love affair until his throat ran dry and his voice failed him. Andy simply listened and tried to take it all in but his mind went into overdrive just trying to wrap his head around it all. He had never heard about anything like this. He had gotten the impression of Norman that he was rather shy and insecure around women but always with a tone of respect for them._

_“So… I mean… Is she… I’m sorry, I’m just trying to understand… Is she a girlfriend?”_

_“Not right now. I guess… I don’t know. It’s fucking insane, I know that.”_

_“But you love her?”_

_“Yeah… I know it sounds crazy but I do love her. And I know she loves me, she just pretends she doesn’t sometimes, coz it gets too real for her at times.”_

_“So what was your conversation about just now? She seemed to be very good at getting under your skin, man.”_

_“No shit…? She’s a fucking expert, dude. She was here a few weeks ago and it was fine, she stayed at my place and it was fine. But it never lasts. We ended up fighting and she left. That was 3 weeks ago and we haven’t talked since. I sent her a picture of Laurie and me this morning.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Cause I know it will make her come back… I know how it fucking sound, ok? It’s…”_

_“Fucked up, Norm.”_

_He lifted his head and stared for a second at Andy, not really prepared for this level of honesty but he was thankful nonetheless._

_“Yeah… I know it’s fucked up but I can’t do anything about it. I don’t even think I actually do want to do anything about it… Sorry, Andy I didn’t mean to…”_

_“Fuck that, I don’t mind. We’re friends, right? I’m glad you told me, you apparently needed to get it off your chest.”_

_“Thanks, man.”_

_“So is she coming down to see you?”_

_“Maybe. I don’t know.”_

_“Do you want her to?”_

_“Yeah… I miss her so fucking much… And I fucking hate her too right now. She drives me fucking crazy, Andy.”_

_“Have you ever thought about just… You know, stop?”_

_“About a million times.”_

_He laughed a humorless and tired laugh as he leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees._

_“Sorry, Norman…”_

_Andy patted his back and tried to put as much comfort into it as possible._

_\-------------------------------_

_Jessie waited outside his apartment yet again. Only this time she wasn’t really in a friendly mood. It was raining and she was standing in the middle of the sidewalk as he pulled up. He approached her with caution but determination. He knew he had done nothing wrong. He had no idea how she was going to act. He had pissed her off but yet she was there. He stopped in front of her and they stared at each other while the rain kept pouring down._

_“Are we going to stand out here in the rain and catch a cold?”_

_“I haven’t decided if I want to stay yet.”_

_“Then what the fuck are you doing here?”_

_He snapped at her and picked up his keys and opened the front door. He felt her gape at him and he knew she wasn’t use to him lashing out at her. He held open the door a second longer though and she walked in after him. The elevator ride up was quiet and they stepped into the apartment without speaking. He headed straight for the bedroom and stripped his cloths on the way there. He heard her curse behind him and he grinned to himself. He stopped at the foot of the bed and dropped his jeans and underwear to the floor. He knew she was watching him and as he turned around to face her, she stood in the doorway._

_“Well, are you just going to stand there and stare?”_

_“Fuck you, Norman!”_

_She pulled her blues over her head as she took a step towards him._

_“You fucked up, Jess not me! Not this time! You pushed the wrong fucking bottoms, J and you fucking know it!”_

_“You need to stop this fucking claiming, Norman! I’m not fucking yours! I’ll never be yours!”_

_“Fuck you, Jessie! You know that’s not fucking true!”_

_He walked straight up into her personal space and grabbed her waist and began unbutton her jeans._

_“Why the hell not?”_

_“You love me, baby.”_

_“Not right now I don’t!”_

_She grabbed his crotch hard enough for him to wince and pinch her waist hard._

_“God dammit, J…!”_

_“I’m not your fucking girlfriend!”_

_“Not right now maybe… Ok, ok…”_

_He changed his mind quickly as she squeezed his jewels hard._

_“I love you, Jessie. I just want…”_

_“I know what you want, Norman but you need to shut the hell up about that right now! It’s not going to happen. Not right now.”_

_“Why?! We’ve been on this fucking train for 4 years now, Jess. I love you and I know you love me too.”_

_He reached behind her and unhooked her bra at the same time as his lips landed on her neck. He heard her moan softly and her tight grip on his cock loosened. He took another step closer to her and let his fingers travel over her arms lightly as he kissed her throat._

_“Please, baby. Just let me love you.”_

_“Shut up…”_

_She tried to sound angry but failed and it made him smile against her shoulder as his lips traveled further down. Her bra hit the floor as she let him go and her hands landed on his hips._

_“Kiss me.”_

_She pulled away slightly from him and came face to face with him. He looked at her before grabbing her by the chin lightly and leaning in to kiss her lips gently._

_“Love me.”_

_He replayed and put a strain of hair back behind her ear._

_“You know I love you.”_

_She said and ran her hands over his back as she searched for his lips again. She had an unyielding power over him but he also knew he held the same power over her. He felt her give in to his touch and once he kissed her again, she pushed herself against him and her hands began to caress every part of his naked skin and he returned the favor, costing her to moan into his mouth as he reached down and pushed his hands inside her pants and caressed her naked behind._

_“Come take a shower with me.”_

_He whispered to her and kissed her right under her ear. He felt her nod and he dropped to his knees to undress her pants. As he leaned in to kiss her lower stomach and his hands carefully removed the last of her clothing, she grabbed him by the hair._

_“I need you to just fuck me right now, Norman. No fucking talk about wanting more. Not right now, I can’t…”_

_She forced his head back and made him look up at her. He nodded._

_“Ok, I hear ya.”_

_“Good.”_

_He gently blew his hot breath against her most sensitive spot. She hissed and ran her hands through his hair and pulled him closer. He kissed her lightly._

_“Oh God…!”_

_“I love you so much, baby.”_

_“I thought I told you to shut up…Shit…!”_

_“Sorry, babe guess I forgot.”_

_He put his tongue inside her and at once felt the familiar tug in his hair and he knew she had thrown her head back as his name escaped her lips. As his fingers joined the dance his tongue was making and she was so close to the edge, they were suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door._

_“Norm?”_

_“What the hell…?!”_

_He pulled away as Andy called out from the front door and Jessie cursed at the same time._

_“Just wanted to check you were alright, man.”_

_Norman sighed and got to his feet but as he began to move, Jessie quickly pushed him down on the bed and told him to stay put, before she stalked off to the front door._

_“No! Wait…!”_

_He never got there in time. Jessie threw open the front door and came face to face with Andy in the middle of knocking on the door. He froze with his closed fist still in midair._

_“He’s fucking fantastic!”_

_Norman halted behind Jessie, his face blushing scarlet. He stuttered a string of words that didn’t make sense to either of them. Andy kept staring at the naked woman in front of him. He couldn’t help but eyeing every inch of her. He hadn’t expected her to be so stunning. When Norman had talked about her, he had made it sound like she was pretty yes, but the woman in front of him was a beauty. The intense green eyes were glaring at him but he could still feel himself drown in them._

_“Anything else you wanted?!”_

_She was pissed and it wasn’t really hard for him to understand why. He had interrupted them in the middle of the act. He tried to find his voice._

_“N...No…No, I just… Sorr…”_

_He never got to finish his sentence before she shoved him in the chest and slammed the door closed in his face._


	23. Caught

“I’m not having a fucking stranger following me around, Norman!”

She shouted at him from across the bed and threw another pair of jeans into the open suitcase lying on top of the bed. He slammed his fist down on the nightstand and shouted right back at her.

“I’m not fucking asking, Jess! You need security!”

“You’re not getting me fucking bodyguard!”

“It’s not a fucking bodyguard! They’ll be discreet, keep to the background. You won’t even know they’re there.”

“ _They_?! Fuck you, Norman! I’m not fucking discussing this. I’ll be fine on my own! It’s a damn airport and Sean will met me at LAX. What the hell do you think could happen?!”

“I don’t even want to think about it! It’s not just you anymore, Jessie! It’s not just you I’m worried about.”

“I’m not having a fucking security guy!”

She slammed shut the finished packed suitcase and lowered it to the floor. She grabbed her jacket before stalking off towards the front door where the cab as already waiting. She heard him let out a roar of frustration behind her.

“Your fucking killing me, Jessie!”

“Do you really want me to leave like this? Fighting over something this stupid? Give it the fuck up, Norman! I’m not getting a bodyguard! I can take care of myself!”

His hand closed around her arm and she stopped at the front door, dropping the bag and her jacket to the floor.

“But you don’t have to…! You’re so fucking stubborn you’re going to get yourself seriously hurt one of these days and I’m not just going to stand beside and watch! Not when there’s not just you anymore! I know you can take care of yourself, Jessie that’s not that fucking point! It’s not for you. It’s not you I’m must worried about!”

“Norman, the rest of the world don’t even know I’m pregnant! I don’t need protection…! I really need to get to the airport and you need to get to work. I love you, Norman you know that but you need to cut the overprotecting crap and let me go. Alone!”

He grabbed her face in both hands and stared at her and he started to tear up.

“If anything happens to you or our baby I’ll never forgive myself, Jessie and I’ll fucking kill you if you get hurt. Ok? Don’t get yourself hurt.”

“I promise. If anything chases me I’ll just run and run fast.”

“Shut up…!”

He crushed her body to himself and kissed the side of her head hard.

“Are you going cause I’m getting at your nerves right now?”

“Yes….!”

“You know it’s not going to change once you get back, right?”

“I know but I’m hoping I might end up missing it after a few days away from it.”

“Be safe, ok? Both of you.”

He placed a hand on the bump under the hoodie she wore. Only now did he notice that it was a Mrs. Dixon hoodie and it cracked him up but as he caught the ring on her finger it quickly turned into a nervous grin. They had both decided not to display the fact that they had gotten engaged to the public and he never wore his ring out in public and neither had she.

“Hmm… Babe? Are you really going to wear that?”

“What…? Oh.”

She looked down on her hand when he nodded towards it.

“I’ve just gotten so use to it… “

She said as she removed it and attached it to the neckless around her neck instead. The cab honked for the 3rd time during their conversation and she sighed as he opened the door and followed her outside, carrying her bag.

“Call me when you get there.”

He handed over the bag to the driver and gave her, her handbag. She nodded and kissed him quickly. But he didn’t let go once she tried to pull away and she gave in to another minute of making out with a small laugh.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mrs. Dixon.”

“Go kick some zombie ass, Mr. Dixon.”

“I will. When are you getting back?”

“Thursday.”

“Today’s Friday, right?”

“Yes and you need to go to work.”

“Right…Will you be alright? I mean…”

He trailed off and she knew why. She nodded and hugged his waist.

“I’ll be fine. You’ve helped me get through 9/11 the past 2 years and now it’s… It’s fine, Norman. I’m fine, I’ve you.”

He smiled as she reached up and kissed him with a smile on her face.

“Have fun with Sean but not too much fun.”

“Shut up…!”

She kissed him one final time before she jumped into the cab. He waved her off but the moment she was no long in sight he pick up his phone to make sure she was getting the protecting she needed. This was something he wasn’t going to gamble on no matter how pissed she might get. He needed to keep her safe and the only way of doing that when he wasn’t around, was to make sure someone else did.

                                              -----------------------------------------------------

“Miss Hamilton, can I get a picture?”

“Will you sign my book?”

“Please, just a quick selfie?”

She hadn’t even made it to security checkpoint before being stopped at least 5 times by different groups of fans, mostly young women and for once she managed to encounter all sweet and friendly fans who simply asked how she was and where she was going and whished her safe travels.

Her luck ran out after she reached her gate though. It was 45 minutes left before boarding and she grabbed a Frappuccino at a close by coffee shop and took a seat in an extremely comfortable armchair with a footstool. She kicked off her sneakers and leaned back with her drink to look out over the early morning travelers. It was still not 7 a.m. and she had only gotten 5 hours of sleep and rubbed her eyes, jawing as she saw a middle age man with a shaved head and sunglasses on top of it, heading straight for her. She knew he was a reporter before he stepped up to her and picked up his phone, ready to make notes at once, or maybe even record her. She had just opened her mouth to protest and asked to be left alone when another man walked up from behind her and blocker her from view.

“I believe Miss Hamilton wants to be left alone at this time, Sir.”

The man was huge! She was sure he was at least 2 head taller than her and his shoulders were so broad she could probably spread her arms wide and still not be able to reach around him. And she knew who he was. Or more likely what he was doing there and why and above all who had sent him. The man didn’t rise his voice at all but the underlying threat in the words made the reporter back away with his hands raised. She didn’t even watch as he left and the man scarring him away glanced over his shoulder at her. She just picked up her phone and dialed Norman. It went to voicemail.

“You’re a fucking dead man, Norman Mark Reedus! You better pray you get fucking eaten by a fucking walker before I get home or I’ll hunt you down myself and kill you slowly!”

The apologetic look on the man face was just making her even more pissed off as he finally turned around to look at her.

“I’ll pay you twice as much as Mr. Reedus if you leave me the hell alone.”

“Sorry, ma’am that’s not going to happen… I’ll be right over here.”

“You know I’ll try to get away from you, right?”

“Yes. Mr. Reedus warned me you might try to, but I’m very good at my job, Miss Hamilton.”

“Fuck you, Norman… What’s your name?”

“You can call me Tim.”

“Well, Tim I hope I won’t ever have to see you again. No offence, it’s nothing personal.”

“No worries, Miss.”

He disappeared from view and she picked up her phone and put her headphones on, hoping to calm the rage rushing through her with some music.

                                              ---------------------------------

She never would have thought she would actually be thanking Normans overprotecting ass but as she touched down at LAX and walked out to the arrivals terminal she was surrendered by photographers. The cameras were flashing from every direction she could see and she began to panic as all of them shouted at her. She knew L.A. was a lot crazier than anywhere else in the world but this was insane and like nothing she had experienced before. She didn’t know what to do but the moment she froze to the ground, she felt a determent but yet friendly grip on her arm and she turned and found the huge man come to her rescue. He helped her push through the crowed and she had no chose but simply following.

She wasn’t aware of how it happened but the noise and the flashes was suddenly gone and she found herself inside a car.

“Baby? Hey, J? Jessie?!”

She snapped her head around to the driver seat and found Sean looking back at her. His hand grabbed her chin.

“Just go…”

She heard herself speak but she wasn’t sure how she found her voice. He might have said something or nodded but she wasn’t paying attention. He hadn’t even made it 10 minutes before she asked him to stop. The moment the car stopped at the side of the road, she threw open the door and rushed out. She puked twice and rested her hands to her knees as she felt Sean’s hand on her back. She trembled from head to toe and the tears burned behind her closed eyes.

“Hey, calm down, honey. It’s alright.”

He reached out for her and the moment she felt him close by, she threw herself at him and started baling into his chest.

“I’m sorry, baby girl… We gotta move, hon.”

She lifted her head enough to see Sean look over her head and when she glanced behind she could spot the caravan of cars starting to pull up behind them. She hurried back inside the car, practically diving into the backset this time.

“Babe?”

“Just get the hell out of here, Sean.”

She asked as he looked back at her. She laid down across the seats and crawled up in fetal position and tried to get the hysterical sobbing under control. In the middle of all the chaos that rushed through her brain, she noticed her phone ringing. She glanced at it and found Norman’s number and knew he must have been alerted her flight had landed but she hadn’t called. She was not in the mood to talk to him at the moment though. She knew it wasn’t rational but she was so pissed, she answered with a snarl.

“Fuck you! Fuck you Norman Reedus and fuck Daryl fucking Dixon! I’m fucking breaking up with you, this is fucking insane!”

She heard him try to get a word in between her curses but she wasn’t letting him and she hung up in the middle of a word and threw the phone on the floor of the car. She heard Sean giggle and she kicked the seat hard.

“Fuck you too!”

“Sorry, baby but this pregnancy is making you crazy hormonal, you know that right?”

He said as his phone rang and he put it on speaker.

“Hi, Norm.”

“What the hell is going on?! What the fuck happened?!”

“Calm your ass down, Reedus. She’s fine. Tell him your fine, Jess or he might have a heart attack.”

For a second she actually whished for him to just drop dead and all her problems would be solved but the next second she wanted to kick herself for even thinking it. She wouldn’t last a day without him.    

“I’m fucking fine!”

“See…? No reason to panic. She was just welcomed by a herd of paparazzi and got a bit shuck up. She’ll calm down soon enough.”

“Are you heading home?”

“Yeah, I just picked her up. It’s lucky you decided not to listen, man. That guy was fast and huge!”

“Oh, I fucking hate you too, Sean! You were in on this too?!”

“Do you honestly think either of us would let you travel alone? Now, hon I thought you had got to know me better than that by now. Just say thank you, will ya?”

“Never going to happen! Fuck you too, Norman! I fucking hate you both right now.”

“Jessie, baby I’m sorry…”

“Now there’s no way to talk to your lover, hon.”

They spoke at the same time and Sean even added on the Irish accent and she had a very hard time keep a straight face, which she knew was what he had been aiming for. She sat up and smacked him at the back of the head.

“Hey…! We’re going to call you back later, alright, brother?”

“Yeah, there’s going to be a whole lot of gratuitous violence going on!”

She hissed and hit Sean’s shoulder right after he hung up on her boyfriend. He kept laughing at her and she kept hitting him until he stopped at a right light and he grabbed her arm and kissed her hand.

“Come on, baby… I love you.”

She huffed annoyed but climbed into the front seat with some difficulty and a lot of curses.

“Smooth…”

He teased and chuckled. She slapped his thigh.

“Here. Drink. Get some sugar into your system. It will help you calm down.”

He handed her a bottle of coke and she accepted it and drank.

“I don’t need to calm down!”

“Yeah you do… It’s ok to get scared, Jessie.”

She stayed quiet for a few seconds and looked down in her own lap as she felt him glance over at her. She hadn’t gotten scared. She had been terrified. Not so much for herself but her mind had panicked over the fact that one of those bloodsuckers could have gotten too close, pushed her and she could’ve fallen and being trampled and her baby could’ve gotten hurt. She could’ve lost their baby.

“It’s mostly because it’s not just me anymore, you know?”

He smiled and leaned forward and put one hand on her bump.

“You’re really pregnant… You need to be careful, Jessie. You know he’s only doing this because he loves you and he would never forgive himself if anything happens to you because of him.”

“I know but I’m still not going to like it.”

“You don’t have to, you just have to deal with it.”

She moved his hand to the other side of her belly as she felt the baby move. She watched his face lit up in a gorgeous smile.

“Wow… You’re really pregnant, Jessie. I can’t believe you’re having a kid. I hope you don’t mind finally meeting my kids.”

“Of course not, I would love to. I can’t believe I never got to see them until now. Did you send them out of town on purpose whenever I came out here?”

“They were here when you were here too, when we practiced but you didn’t want to stay with us then remember?”

“It was just because it was only for a day.”

“Reedus is getting on your nerves?”

“No kidding…? He’s driving me insane. Why the hell do you think I’m here?”

“Because you love me of course and you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you, babe. I did get to see you a lot this summer but it was never enough time.”

“I know.”

\-------------------------------------------

He was bombarded with calls, texts, e-mails and God knew what, the very same morning Jessie left for L.A. He didn’t notice until they broke production for lunch though and he headed back to his trailer. When he put his hand on the doorknob, he heard someone come running behind him and he turned in time to find Steven stager to a halt right in front of him.

“Sorry, man. They know.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“Someone talked, Norm. Someone talked to the press about Jessie. The engagement, the baby, all of it. It’s all over the place, man.”

He moved inside the trailer and left the door open for Steven to follow him. He grabbed both of his phones, personal and professional but ignored all the missed calls from his PR people. He needed to get an overview of what actually had happened.

_Met the future Mrs. Norman Reedus and Little Asskicker!_

_Norman Reedus engaged!_

_Mr. and Mrs. Daryl Dixon expecting!_

There were pictures everywhere, pictures of her arriving and leaving Atlanta as well as landing in LAX. None of them really showed her pregnancy but someone had put a lot of work into analyzing every paparazzi shoot of them together for the past month and had zoomed in on Jessie’s neckless. To avoid just this, she always wore the ring around her neck while he had taken the slightly easier way out and simply wore it on his right index finger instead. He knew the engagement would be out there sooner or later and he really didn’t mind that part but he would’ve liked to keep the fact that she was pregnant to themselves. Simply to keep her safe.

“Fuck!”

He cursed at the same time as he pressed speed dial and waited for Jessie to pick up. They should’ve gotten home to Sean’s place by now.

“Is it really important? Cause I’m about to kick some serious ass playing Scrabbles right now.”

He actually felt himself calm down and managed to laugh. The line fell silent for a moment and he wondered how the hell she was able to read his mind 10 000 miles away.

“What’s wrong?”

She asked, all the excitement in her voice gone and she gave him her full attention.

“The press knows.”

“Knows what?”

“All of it.”

She fell silent and he heard her move, probably to get away from the noisy kids and their father in the background. She spoke again after he heard a door close.

“Kinda explains why there were so much press at the airport. When did this happen?”

“I guess this morning or something, while you were in the air and I was working. Steven just told me…”

“What do they want you to do about it?”

_They._ She had never liked the people working around him and deep down he couldn’t really blame her. She had been nothing but a pain in the ass from the start for them and making everyone so damn nervous about whether she would expose him in any way that wouldn’t look good. They saw her as a threat to their client and if only they knew how much she actually knew, he was pretty sure she would be murdered in her sleep.          

“I haven’t talked to them yet. I called you first… Just wanted to make sure you’re ok. Are you ok, sweetie?”

“I’m fine, Norman. It was just quite a shock to be run over by all those cameras… It’s fine now, Sean stopped by Dairy Queen on the way.”

“Thank God for ice cream, huh?”

“Yeah… Listen, sorry I yelled at you before. I was so fucking freaked out about the whole thing, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Don’t worry about it, babe. It’s fine. I just really wish you would be here right now. I’m kinda freaking out too.”

“Why?”

“Cause they’re fucking predators out there, Jess. It’s not going to change until you get back home, you know that. They’re going to hunt you down baby and I want you to be safe. I want you to be here.”

“Sean’s a black belt, remember? He promised he would take everyone down if he had too. You know he won’t let anything happen to me.”

“I know. You had an interview scheduled, right? Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Entertainment Weekly to talk about the 9/11 and the book and all that.”

“That’s not what’s going to happen, babe and you know it…”

“You want me to cancel it?”

“Could you just wait a few hours? I need to sort this out.”

“You know they want you to deny it, preferable break up with me while you’re at it.”

He moaned when her voice got all cold and pissed within seconds and he closed his eyes as he ran his hand over his face.

“Jessie…”

“You better say the right fucking thing right now, Mr. Reedus or I’m hanging up!”

“Baby, please… I love you, Jessie. Just let me figure this out and if it’s not too much to ask, please stay where you are.”

“Fine!”

“Thank you. I’m sorry about this, babe I really am.”

“You find out who sold us out and I’ll personal strangle her….”

“She would never talk to the press, Jess. Not like this.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right? You know she hates me, she has since day one.”

“Denise did not talk to the press, Jessie.”

“Fucking prove it, Norman!”

She hung up on him and he cursed so loudly it made Steven jump where he lingered in the doorway. He threw the phone beside him on the couch and sank back with a heavy sigh. His head was spinning and he could feel a migraine began to pulse through his brain. He knew from the moment she picked up that this was how it was going to end but it still made him extremely frustrated. She was so damn stubborn he felt like strangling her at times.

From the first time they had laid their eyes on each other, Jessie and the co-executive producer had disliked each other to say the least. Two personalities that simply collided and neither of them had any desire to change the fact that they couldn’t be within 10 feet of each other without getting into an argument.

“She thinks Denise talked to the press?”

Norman snapped open his eyes and got startled when Steven suddenly spoke and he felt the couch move as he sat down beside him. He turned to look at the Asian and nodded.

“She wouldn’t, would she?”

Norman tried to convince himself by asking but truth was he wasn’t 100 % sure that she hadn’t talked to the press.

“I don’t know, man. I hope not but I don’t know… What’re you going to do about this?”

“There’s really nothing I can do, is there? God dammit! She’s going to get into so much trouble!”

“Jessie can take care of herself, Norman. She’s the toughest badass woman I’ve ever met, dude. She’ll be fine.”

“I’m most worried about the once that cross her, man. If she gets pissed… I mean, fuck man she can be fierce and with all these pregnancy hormones, she’s a fucking hurricane. If she gets cornered… I tell ya, she will end up getting arrested.”

“Maybe you should go to L.A, Norman. I mean, you’ve the weekend off right?”

“I’m going back to New York, spending some time with Mingus… Could I get a few minutes, man?”

“Yeah, of course… If there’s anything you need, let me know, ok?”

“Thanks, man.”

He spent his lunch on the phone with his publicist crew. He was pacing the trailer floor with his phone pressed to his ear, arguing and sometimes yelling and cursing at the person on the other line. Finally he had but one call to make and Mingus picked up as he tried to cram some food down although every bit made him want to throw up. He knew better then to try to kill walkers on an empty stomach.  

“Hey, dad!”

“Hi…”

“Are you alright?”

He should’ve known he never could lie to his son.

“No… It’s… Listen, I’m sorry but I won’t be able to make it home tonight.”

“It’s fine, you need to head out to L.A. Right? Figure this out with Jessie? I saw the pictures, dad, there’re all over the place. Are you alright?”

“It’s just a bit fucked up right now.”

“Maybe you should just tell them, dad. I know you’re trying to keep everyone safe, Jessie, me, mom, everyone but it’s really no reason you know that. You know you wouldn’t be able to keep this a secret forever and I get why you want to, dad but frankly, if you don’t want the press getting into your business, quite working.”

Norman stopped with his fork suspended in midair and felt himself gap at the words his son spoke.

“What the hell happened to my 16 years old teenager? Damnit, Mingus don’t grove up so fucking fast!”

“Kinda have to now, seeing as I’m going to be a big brother and all that.”

He wanted to cry. He wanted to just get on the next damn plane so he could hug his son and cry happy tears all day long. He was so proud over the fact that he was finally going to get a little brother or sister.

“Come with me to L.A.”

He heard himself say.

“Ok. Do you want me to come down to you first?”

“I’ll check the flights, maybe I could just take the flight I was going to take back home and you can meet me at the airport and we’ll just go from there. There ought to be a night time flight.”

“Sure, sounds good. Text me the info. I’ve a class, gotta go.”

“Great. I love you, Mingus.”

“Love you too, dad.”

                                              -------------------------------------

_I caught them first… ;)_

Jessie stared at the picture on Helena’s Instagram and tried to remember from where and when it was taken. She was an amazing photographer and Jessie had pretty much never seen her without a camera in her hand. This black and white, polaroid picture was at least 5 years old. She was asleep on a couch that might have belonged to the woman taken the picture, Jessie wasn’t quite sure. She was on the couch with Mingus and Norman but the only one awake on the picture was Norman. She and Mingus was fast asleep on either side of the man, both of them curled up as close as they could possible could get while Norman looked straight into the camera with a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. She had never seen the picture before and wondered for one horrible second how much Helena had actually caught on camera, before realizing they had actually never been intimate in any way whenever she had been close. But as she took a closer look at the picture, she couldn’t convince even herself that they had just been friends. They looked nothing like just friends to her, they looked like lovers. He had his arm wrapped around her shoulder and her head was resting against his chest with one arm around his waist.

_Thank you ♥_

She replayed to the post and decided to repost it as well.

_I feel the need to let some things off my chest after what happened yesterday. I arrived at LAX yesterday and got overrun by a herd of paparazzi, which was something entirely new to me. At least in in this scale. I’m not going to lie, I was terrified and I was not at all prepared for it. What gives 100 aggressive men, because they were yelling and cursing and fighting to get closer, the right to harasses another human being because I happen to have a man in my life that a makes his living on the big (and small) screen??? I know you probably think that I should’ve known what I signed up for and trust me, I did but it doesn’t make it ok for anyone to invade our privacy or my personal space! I don’t mind talking to fans or sometimes even reporters but the lack of respect for other people’s safety makes me sick! As to any comments to all the rumors and picture circulating, check back later tonight for an interview with @entertainmentweekly._

_Ps. Thank you for the gorgeous picture @helenachristensen, you’re an amazing woman in every way._

The house was still quiet, everyone else were still asleep in the early Saturday morning but she felt wide awake. Probably because she had fallen asleep on the couch before 8 while watching a movie with the kids. Sean must have carried her into bed but she had no memories of it. She got dressed and quietly walked through the house and out the backdoor. She tucked all her hair inside a TWD baseball hat and zipped up her hoodie before heading down towards the beach only 10 minutes away. When she reached the pretty much deserted sandy beach she headed straight for the water line. She kicked off her shoes and pulled her sweats up around her ankles before walking into the water.

She hated this. Hated how things had turned out just in the matter of one day. Because of one bitch everything had changed from manageable to a living hell. She felt like a prisoner in her own life when Norman had asked her to stay indoors. She wanted to be able to move around wherever and whenever she liked without fearing someone would attack her with cameras and questions. But as she looked over the water and the sun was rising, painting the sky purple and pink, she felt calm for the first time in 24 hours. With the rush of the waves and seagulls waking up all around her, she walked back up a few feet and sank down into the sand and wrap her arms around herself and just let her mind wander.

She didn’t get to wander long though. She could feel the familiar gaze at the back of her head before she saw the shadow approach from behind. There was something different though and she lifted her head to take a closer look at the black silhouette. She ended up with a huge grin on her face as she realized why the shape looked different.

“What are you doing here, Mingus?”

“Wow…! That’s just fucking crazy, Jess. How the hell did you know it was me?”

“I’ve known you since you were 7 years old, Mingus. There’s no way you’ll ever be able to sneak up on me. Where’s your father?”

“He’s not as fast as I am, he’s coming.”

“Let me guess, he traced my phone again?”

“Yeah…”

“I really should change my password.”

“Please don’t. He’s a fucking nervous wreck right now and the only thing that keeps him calm is knowing where you are. He kept checking the damn phone every 30 minutes while we were in the air. You really don’t get how worried he is, Jessie.”

Mingus took a seat beside her and they shared a long hug and she kissed him on the forehead.

“Ok.”

“Thank you… How are you?”

“I’ve had better days, I’ll admit that. Yesterday was… chaos. You didn’t have any visits, did you?”

“By the paparazzi? I saw some of them but they never got close enough.”

“I’m sorry, Mingus… Maybe I should’ve just stayed away. Giving him up when he wanted me to. He would have been a whole lot better off and you would be safe and…”

The words just kept blurring out of her in a haste. The thoughts had been spinning around in her head all night long and she was finally able to share her fears and once she started talking it was no stopping it.

“I mean he told me so many times that I should never come back and maybe if I had just listen, he would’ve moved on with his life, find someone else, someone better and I… I could just go back to being another girl in his past and…”

Tears were streaming down her face as she spoke but she was suddenly forced to cut off as a pair of familiar lips pressed hard against her lips.

“Shut the hell up, baby.”

“First of, I’m fine, Jessie you don’t have to worry about my safety. If it hadn’t been you, it would’ve been someone else and it would be just as crazy… Well, maybe not as crazy as this but almost. Second, if you hadn’t come back, he would’ve made you.”

Mingus spoke from beside her and his father took over not a second later as he sat down on the other side of her.

“Yeah, I would… I never could live without you, babe, you know that and you never were just a girl in my past, you were, you are _that girl._ Why are you suddenly second guessing this?”

“I’m not… I just…. I just started thinking too much.”

“Stop thinking.”

“Ok.”

She whipped her tears and took a deep, calming breath.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“Coming to rescue you.”

The moment the words left his mouth, Norman knew it was the wrong thing to say and he regretted it at once as Jessie lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I know you don’t need to be rescued.”

“Not as much as you do if you keep talking.”

She snarled and Mingus chuckled right next to her and placed a hand on her knee as his father sat down right in front of her with his hands raised in defense.

“You want me to leave again?”

“No, but you need to back the hell off!”

“Not gonna happen, babe, I told you yesterday and it ain’t about to change. Not when you’re carrying a piece of us inside you.”

The scowling slowly changed and she finally rolled her eyes at him.

“Fine...! I tell ya, I’ve a newfound respect for Helena for putting up with you for 9 months when expecting this one.”

She nudged Mingus in the ribs.

“I only have to put up with it for another 4 months.”

She watched his face turn up in a smile but the second after his eyes darted past her and he caught something behind them and his eyes turned black with anger. She didn’t need to turn around to knew what had pissed him off. She could hear the faint clicking of cameras going off in rapid succession.

“Come on.”

He rose to his feet and held out his hand to her. She wanted to protest at first, she really wanted to stay just a few minutes longer but the look on his face made her change her mind. She had never seen him so worried before and although she really hated that he was being so overprotecting, she couldn’t help but loving him more for it. He really was the sweetest guy on the planet and the best thing was that he was hers.


	24. EW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turned out to be a loooong one...

**Chapter 23 – EW**

He was on edge the entire day but tried his hardest not to let it show. There wasn’t any other place in L.A better then Sean’s and he enjoyed their morning and afternoon as good as he could. But the fact that he knew the paparazzi was just outside the door made him jumpy. Mingus had tried to convince him that he should come to the interview as well but he had firmly and quickly ended that conversation with a loud no! He had enough on his plate keeping Jessie safe once they stepped out of the front door.

“Could we take your bike?”

Norman was on the edge of the bed in the guestroom, waiting for her to get ready in the bathroom when she spoke to him.

“What?”

“Can we take the bike?”

She leaned backwards from the mirror and looked at him.

“Why?”

“Cause it’s faster than the damn car and easier to sneak through L.A traffic and get away from the paparazzi.”

He hesitated and he knew she knew why. He even heard her sigh and without seeing her, he knew she rolled her eyes at him. The image of her being pinned down under that bike still haunted him. At the same time she was right about the bike being a lot faster.

“Fine.”

He heard himself say and she smiled when she exited the bathroom with her hair tied back in a complicated looking braid.

“You’re so beautiful, baby.”

For a few seconds all the worry and fears disappeared and he simply enjoyed looking at her. When he reached out a hand to her, she walked up and stopped in front of him. He grabbed her hips and leaned his forehead to her bump and closed his eyes.

“I love you. Whoever you are, I love you so much.”

“How about we do this our way?”

He was just barley listening to her, he kept talking to his unborn baby but knew what she was going to do anyway. He saw the phone at the corner of his eye and heard the camera going off. He really didn’t care anymore, it was too late anyway. Somehow the pictures from the ultrasound that was nowhere else but in their Georgia home had found its way into cyber space earlier that day.

_I love you both to the moon and back ♥@bigbaldhead_

After posting the picture on Instagram she threw the phone down on the bed next to him and allowed her hands to ran through his hair. She smiled to herself as she listened to him talk to the bump under his hands. She wasn’t sure what he was saying but it didn’t matter, she was just glad he could finally unwind for a few minutes and leave all his worry at the back of his head. She didn’t rush him although she knew they really had to get going. He needed this right now and she would give him all the time he needed. Finally, after more than 5 minutes and when her feet had started to fall asleep, he kissed her bump and lifted his head to look up at her. She caressed the hair out of his face and let her hands linger on his face.

“I love you.”

She said.

“I love you more.”

“Let’s get this over with…”

                                              ------------------------------------

Both of them felt at home once they put their helmets on and she climbed on the bike behind him. He raved the engine and speed out unto the road way over speed limit but it caught the paparazzi by surprise and he had shaken them off within minutes.

“I really can’t believe she would do this, Jess. She can’t have.”

The headsets in the helmets made his voice a little muffled but she heard him loud and clear through all the noise from the traffic around them.

“Who else would do it, Norman? Give me one name.”

He fell silent for a moment.

“I just… I don’t know, baby it just doesn’t make sense to me. Why would she talk to the press…? And even if it’s Denise, I… I mean, what the hell can we do about it?”

“To starters, you could let me beat her ass. Listen, I know she a friend and you know I would never ask you to choose me over any of your friends, but if she did this… She’s not welcome into my life in any way anymore.”

“Baby, please don’t say that… I can’t… I can’t think about that right now. Innocent until proven guilty, Jessie, please. I’ll talk to her. I’ll find out who talked to the press.”

“Ok.”

Just as she spoke, she felt Norman’s jeans pocket vibrate with an incoming call. He ignored it but the moment the phone stopped ringing it only took a second until it started again. Finally he pulled over, cursing to himself and dug the phone out of his jeans and threw the helmet away to answer the call.

“What?”

“Sorry, man bad time?”

“A little, yeah.”

He answered Greg on the other line.

“I gotta talk to you about something though, kinda important. You got 5 minutes?”

“What’s going on, Greg?”

“I talked to Denise this morning, she was kinda panicky.”

“She has a right to be.”

“She didn’t do this, Norman. I know Jessie thinks it’s her and… She…”

“Spill it out will you.”

“Someone stole her phone, Norman. Sometime during shooting yesterday, she lost her phone. Well, someone probably stole it.”

“So?”

“So where the hell do you think the pictures came from? Whoever stole the phone sold the pictures. You sent pictures from the engagement remember? About the ultrasound pictures… It’s probably why she asked me to talk to you… She took the pictures on Labor Day, I guess she found them somewhere and… I don’t know, man, she’s… She’s devastated, Norman. She really is, you gotta believe that. She would never sale you out like this, you know that. Call her, will you?”

“Ok…Thanks, Greg.”

“Yeah, sorry about all this, Norm. I know you wanted to keep it out of the press.”

“What’s done is done. I’ll talk to you later. Take care.”

“You too, Norm. Say hi to that beautiful girl of yours.”

“I will.”

“You don’t honestly believe that crap, do you?”

Jessie had overheard every word of their conversation and Norman turned his head around to look at her. He couldn’t make out her face under the dark helmet but he knew she was pissed. He really didn’t need to see her face to know her facial expressions, he knew them all by heart.

“I need to call her, babe.”

“Now?”

“We need to figure this out, J.”

“Ok, but then I want ice cream.”

She handed him her helmet and before he could protest, she had jumped off the bike and headed straight into the ice cream place he had parked by. He wanted to scream at her to come back, it wasn’t safe but she was already gone. For 5 seconds he allowed himself to panic before finding his focus again and dialed Denise’s number.

He was still on the phone when she got back outside. She leaned to a lamp-post in front of him and kept eating her ice cream while he kept talking on the phone. She was impressed he could keep so calm, she would’ve been yelling her head off, no matter if it really was on purpose or not. Although she hadn’t heard the entire conversation and she wasn’t able to hear Denise on the other line, it was pretty obvious to her that Norman believe every word the woman on the other line spoke. She sighed a little and cursed him internarial for being so naive and too trusting. She would never forgive Denise for this.

She pushed at his shoulder a little and at first he just looked confused but only a second later he moved back on the bike and she jumped on in front of him, facing him. She smiled as he suddenly had a hard time focusing on his conversation as she slowly raised the spoon to her mouth and sucked on it long and hard. She giggled when she heard him growl under his breath. Quicker then he probably would have, he ended the phone call.

“You’re so evil, you know that? A fucking angel in disguise.”

“And you love it.”

“Way too much.”

He grabbed the back of her head and shoved her into a passionate kiss that seemed to go on forever. She dropped the ice cream to the ground and wrapped her arms around his head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too… Can I drive?”

“Go ahead, babe. But you’re going to have to outrun the bloodsuckers.”

“Well, hold on tight then, baby.”

                                              ----------------------------------

They were greeted by a whole entourage as they entered Entertainment Weekly’s headquarters in down town Los Angeles despite the late hour. She was the one asking for a late interview so she would be able to spend as much time as possible with Sean and his family. They were taken into a small conference room which was clearly furnished to make them feel at home. There was a big couch with lots of comfortable cushions and the table in front was laden with bottles of water and bowls of fruit and a vas of fresh flowers. A film camera was set up to the left of the couch. Jessie grabbed a bottle of water and an apple before curling up at the corner of the sofa.

“So we’re really doing this?”

“Now you’re asking? Come on, babe, a little too late to change your mind now.”

She said as he bounced down right next to her and put his feet up on the table, just like he would have done at home.

“I know, it’s just… Strange to be sitting here with you. I’ve done this so many times before but never with you.”

“This was supposed to be my interview, remember?”

“Yeah, sorry for stealing your spotlight, babe.”

He patted her thigh.

“It was never going to be about me, you know that. Not after what happened this morning. Maybe if that bitch hadn’t blown our cover, it might have been but now….”

“Jessie, please. She didn’t do this on purpose. Her phone got stolen, probably by some extra on set yesterday.”

“Even if it did, she had no fucking right to make copies of our private pictures!”

“Let’s not talk about this right now, ok? She made a mistake, babe.”

“You’re too damn forgiven; you know that?”

“Something you’ve taken advantage off for the past 10 years.”

He reminded her and she was just about to comment on this as the door opened and a reporter Norman had crossed before entered the room.

“Mr. Reedus, nice to see you again. How are you?”   

Norman didn’t bother to get up, he simply put his feet back on the floor and shock the man’s hand as he held it out to him.

“Good, I’m good, thanks.”

“Miss Hamilton, it’s an honor to finally met you. I’m Dalton Ross. How are you?”

“Nice to meet you and please call me Jessie.”

“Sure thing. Do you mind if we tape the interview? You’ll of course be allowed to decided what ends up on our website, nothing is getting post without your permission.”

“You mean unlike this morning?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Hamilton I’ve no control over what paparazzi pictures end up on our website. All I know is that we got hold of the pictures from an anonymous source this morning.”

“You mean you payed for them?”

“You’re one of the most sought after couple out there, Miss Hamilton. People want to know more about you. It’s a very high demand around the two of you at the moment, I’m sure you’re aware of that.”

“Not really… At least I wasn’t until I got here this morning and got attacked. But I guess that’s price you’ve to pay for staying in our own little bubble down in Georgia for too long. You sort of forget about the outside world.”

“It was only you that was scheduled for this interview from the beginning, Jessie. Why are you here, Mr. Reedus?”

“To make sure she says the right things, or rather not the wrong things... No, seriously though it’s…I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for all those pictures ending up online this morning. I guess both of us felt a need to tell our side of the story before the rumors gets too crazy.”

“So what is the truth?”

“We’re pregnant and expecting to extend our family in the beginning of February of next year and we’ve been engaged since August.”

Norman spoke in a rush, just wanting to get it out of the way and be done with it. Now he had said it, reveled their secrets to the world and there was no turning back.

“Congratulations!” ¨

It didn’t matter from whom it came or how many times he heard it, it still made him silly happy whenever someone congratulated them and for a few seconds shared their joy.

“Thank you.”

He glimpsed over at Jessie and smiled as he saw her lit up in a smile as well. Without really thinking, he grabbed her hand and kissed it.

“But February? You don’t even look pregnant.”

“The baby is taking a backseat inside me so that’s why I’m not showing that much yet. At least not with cloths on.”

“Boy or girl?”

“We will see whenever he or she decided to come out.”

“Given your past with losing your family, Jessie, is this something you guys have talked about for a long time?”

“We talked about not having kids. I’ve never wanted another child after I lost Jacob but when he came around… I don’t know, I’m still getting use to the idea of being pregnant.”

“Did you know each other before 9/11?”

“No, I met her back in 2006 for the first time. She told me about her family a few months after we met.”

“What was your reaction to it all?”

“My reaction…? Damn, I mean… How do you react to something so tragic? I cried for hours. I knew something was up from the beginning but I never would’ve imagined it to be so heartbreaking. My son was just about to turn 7 at the time and I know I would never be strong enough to survive something like that, losing your own child. “

“Tomorrow is 9/11, 15 years since America was attacked. What do you usually do?”

“For the first couple of years I ran. As far as I could get, usually overseas and I would lock myself up on some hotel somewhere and just wait it out. I’ve actually never been in New York on 9/11 since it happened.”

“Not tomorrow either?”

“No, I’ll be here. For the past 2 years I’ve been with Norman and it’s been better than before and this year is the first time I don’t feel the need to run. I can just stay right here and try to get through the day.”

“What’s been like for you, Norman?”

“Hell… There’s no other way to describe it other than it’s been a real hell cause I couldn’t do anything to help. You feel helpless and it’s the worst fucking feeling in the world. Last year was the first time it was… Fine, not good, it’ll never be good, but it was an ok week.”

“So it’s not just tomorrow that’s…?”

“No, the entire month of September really sucks for me, it’s not just 9/11 because everything comes back to the surface again. You know, what we did 2 weeks before, 1 week before, the day before, I keep reliving it all every year and sometimes it just gets too much to handle.”

“So what do you do? What happens?”

“In the beginning I had panic attacks but it wasn’t just around this time, it was all the time. Up until I decided to… Quiet, hopped it out, whatever you want to call it. After that, when I finally met the right people, it got better. I still get them once in a while but now it’s once or twice a year instead of once or twice a week.”

“What’s the right people?”

“Professionals. People who know what they’re doing. I don’t think there’s a person on this planet that would be able to get through the loss of their loved once without getting professional help, at least not with their sanity still intact. I couldn’t.”   

“Did you tell him about that part too?”

“I didn’t have too, he figured it out. I didn’t have the tattoo back then so the scar was pretty visible. It was a silent agreement in the beginning, he knew that I knew but we didn’t talk about it. Not until we got to know each other better.”

“You really seem to know each other inside and out. When did the friendship officially turned into dating?”

The words that formed inside her head was _which time?_ but the slightest tension in the man sitting beside her made her change her mind. He apparently didn’t feel the need to share that part of their relationship. The rest of the world would know their relationship as one going from friends to lovers.

“Since January.”

He said and gave her thigh a thankful squeeze. She turned towards him and nodded her head enough for only him to notice it. He had never been able to communicated without words with anyone else but her but this time it even surprised him a little how well she seemed to understand him.

“So 10 years of friendship and all of a sudden you just happen to fall in love with each other and decide to give it a shot?”

“Something like that.”

“When you guys first went public with this a few months ago and you made the statement about Jessie always being by your side, I started to do some… poking around to see if it was actually true. Turns out you were right. I had to do a lot of digging but you’ve been on pretty much every premier or event he has ever done since 2007. _America Gangster, Red Canyon,_ pretty much every Comic Con _, Pandorum, Boondock_ of course, _The Conspirator,_ even though you never walked the red carpet together, she was there, right?”

“Yeah, I guess she was.”

“Were you a fan?”

“Absolutely! I still am. The reason I even made a move in the first place was because of Murphy. The first Saints movie is one of my absolute favorite of all times.”

“So how did you first meet?”

“Through mutual friends. We were both at a birthday party for a friend of a friend and I spotted him across the room and just decided to go talk to him.”

“So she took the first step?”

“Yeah…I think I’ve said it before but she really is a badass. I would never have struck up a conversation with her.”

“Why not?”

The question came from Jessie and he turned with an amused grin on his face to look at her.

“You were intimidating, babe.”

“Did you know something was up from the beginning? It had been, what, 3 years since you tried to take your life?”

“Yeah, I knew something was… Different.”

“You can say what you really want to say, Norm. I was messed up.”

“Yeah, ok I knew something was messed up from the beginning. Not to what extent but the moment I saw her, there was something I’ve never seen before in her eye, it was… Like I said, an intimidating, badass girl, but behind all that was a desperate need to have some kind of connection. When she told me what happened it all fell into place.”

“How hard has it been to stay in each other’s life’s for 10 years? I mean it can’t have been the easier ride for either of you and I’m not just talking about Jessie losing her family, you’ve been through a lot of changes in your life as well, Norman.”

“Yeah, it’s been a crazy ride… I mean we’ve had periods when we haven’t spent that much time together. We’re not always the best of friends that keep in touch every single day…”

“You’ve lived together before, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“As in dating before?”

“As in trying to date.”

“It didn’t work out back then?”

“No. I was still too messed up to want to make it work. We had a Labor Day party and I got talking to Jeffrey about this as well and I’ve got… I still got commitment issues to some degree, I don’t let people in that easily. It’s not been easy to try to adjust to this new way of living once he started the show.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean there was a lot of new people that all of a sudden was part of his life and whenever I came down to Georgia it was so intense, they really are like a family and for me it was hard to grasp the whole concept.”

“Of family?”

“Yeah. I’ve never been part of Walking Dead family, I don’t think I ever will be, but that’s not because of the cast and crew cause they’ve been amazing and welcomed me with open arms but I can’t bring myself to include any more people into my life like that. Norman and Mingus is my family and I’m scared shitless every single day of waking up and find that they’re not there anymore. It’s nothing personal to anyone, I’m very good friends with a lot of the cast and crew but I know I’m holding back.”  

“Not when it comes to Sean though it seems?”

“Sean’s a different matter, yes. He’s family too. He’s like a big brother and father wrapped up in one.”

“Tell me about San Diego Comic Con. What happened that weekend?”

“I was out here to spend some time with Sean and decided to take a bike down to San Diego to join them on their last day of Comic Con, I mean that was the plan anyway. About 40 minutes outside San Diego I crashed the bike and ended up by the side of the road, pinned under it. It was the middle of nowhere really.”

“Were you scared?”

“Of course. I couldn’t move and my phone broke when I crashed so I couldn’t get in contact with anyone. I could just lay there and hope for someone to pass by and see me.”

“How long where you out there?”

“I don’t know, 2-3 hours or something.”

“When all this was going down, there was a lot of rumors about what happened or didn’t happen and what you were doing, Norman. Did you get into a fight with Sean about this?”

“Yes.”

“You thought they might have getting closer than they should….? You were on top of a roof and apparently you shouted pretty loud according to a lot of witnesses.”

“The thing is that I didn’t know she was in L.A. She had told me she was going to New York and fly out to San Diego Saturday morning, so yeah I was a bit freaked out when I found out she hadn’t been on the flight at all. And Sean caught me in the wrong moment.”

“So you decided to get into a fight with a black belt?”

“It wasn’t a fight, I might have tried but Sean really knows his stuff so he had the situation under control before I even knew what happened…”

“Where you getting too close to Sean?”

“Let’s just pretend you weren’t so fucking stupid to ask that question, ok?”

Jessie said, her voice ice cold and she gave the man interview them a glare that even made Norman recoil in his seat even though it wasn’t directed at him. He tried his hardest not to burst out laughing when the other man held up his hands in defense and apologized as fast as he possible could. She stared the man down for another 10 seconds before deciding to allow him to continue and she nodded once at him before getting to her feet, grabbed another apple and walked over to the window.

“You alright, babe?”

“Fine, just need to get the circulations going in my legs.”

“When’s the due date?”

“February 8th.”

Mr. Ross relaxed when Jessie spoke from her spot by the window and he said a fast prayer that he hadn’t screw it all up.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m guessing you mean more in generally, cause right now I’m pissed, hungry and my feet are killing me. But yes, in general I’m doing great.”

“Is she?”

Norman sniggered as he was asked the question as well. He could tell without actually seeing her face, that Jessie was smiling as well.

“Yeah. Given that it took more the 3 months before we even figure out she was pregnant, she’s doing great. She’s had trouble sleeping, waking me up in the of the night by all the twisting and turning but other than that, it’s not been any different really. She’s an amazing woman.”

She felt a wide smile spread over her face as she listened to Norman talk. The baby seemed to be having a party by its own inside her at the moment and she put one hand on top of the bump, hoping to calm the kicking against her ribs.

“How do you feel about starting over again? Your son is 16 now right?”

“17 next month, yeah… It’s weird, man. I never thought I’d be a dad again but it’s really amazing, I can’t wait for him or her to get here.”

“I’m guessing the rest of your family have known about this for a while. How did they react when you told them the news?”

“Pretty surprised to say the least.”

“How old are you, Jessie?”

“35.”

She finally turned back to the couch and sat back down. She smiled when he couldn’t pass on the chance to feel the baby move, even if it was caught on camera for the rest of the world to see. His hand landed firmly on her still moving bump and she placed hers on top of his.

“It must be a lot different now, having a child at 35 when you were only 20 the first time.”

“In some ways yes but in other ways no difference really. Physical there’s no difference 15 years later. Mentally is a whole other story though. I still have no idea how things are going to turn out when I’m actually due.”

“Are you scared?”

“Of what could happen, yes. Not so much for the physical pain, I know I can do that, I’ve done it before but I’m not sure I can trust myself to handle the emotional part of it. I know it’s going to take me back to when Jacob was born and I’m not sure how I’m going to react until I’m actually in the hospital or wherever we might be.”

“Is there any other place than in a hospital?”

Jessie giggled when Norman turned to her with his question, his voice a little panicky.

“Hey, I’m born in the back of a taxi cab remember?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My parents didn’t make it in time to the hospital so I’m born on 5th avenue actually.”

“Please try not to make that a family tradition, I would not come out of something like that alive.”

“Yeah, sorry I forgot what a wimp you are.”

“So he’s really not as badass as Daryl?”

“Hell no!”

“Is it a good thing or a bad thing according to the one who actually lives with him?”

“Oh trust me, I could never in a million years live under the same roof as Daryl Dixon. We would fucking kill each other after a day.”

“True.”

“Why?”

“Cause we’re too much alike. It would be an extremely silent household with a lot of glaring before one of us snapped and killed the other.”

“Even after the season 6 finale?”

“Not gonna go there, sorry. AMC made me sign the damn papers as well so my lips are sealed about what happens or doesn’t happens when season 7 begins.”

“But you were there? During that final scene?”

“Yes.”

“Every actor I’ve talked to and you as well, Norman, they all told the same story about how it was the worst day ever. As a bystander, how was it for you? I mean you’ve been there from the very start and seen firsthand what this show has become.”

“It was rough, no doubt about that. Personally I had a worst time when they did the episode before the finale.”

“ _East?_ Why?”

“Cause he got shoot! And Greg and all those other make-up artists are fucking geniuses and they made the whole thing look so damn real. And he was having a very rough time during that episode.”

“Has he changed since the show took off? You’ve known each other for 10 years’ time and you were around before the whole Walking Dead circus began.”

“As weird as it might sound, he’s a lot calmer now than when we first met. It probably comes with old age.”

“Shut up!”

Norman protested loudly when Jessie’s teasing words left her mouth.

“Is age a sensitive topic? There’s 12 years between you.”

“He’s never acted his age so no, it’s not a sensitive topic. I just mean you’ve change, find some inner peace and not care so much what other’s think of you. When we first started to get to know each other there was a lot of insecurity and it’s really true what we talked about earlier, that he wouldn’t have come up to talk to me cause he was not that skilled at communicating back then. I just wanted a 10-minute conversation with him so I decided to go talk to him.”

“Is he better at it today?”

“Communicating? Yes. He’s always been a lot better than me at commutating, I just happen to be the one with a little more guts to actually start a conversation.”

“You’re saying your communications skills isn’t that good, Jessie?”

“Mine? No, I really suck at it.”

“She really does, or did really. It’s getting better and better but in the beginning it was really bad. There were a lot of e-mails and text messages though. I guess that’s why she was able to put those two books together so well, she’s one hell of a writer, but once it has to come out of her mouth it’s a different matter.”

“Why did you decided to write those books?”

“I felt a need to get it off my chest I guess. And I figured if I was able to help just one person by simply let them know they’re not alone, it would be worth it. My therapist after I tried to killed myself, asked me to keep a journal cause it has always been easier for me to express my feelings through writing or really through any other channels other than actually talking so I wrote everything down. Every single thing I felt and remembered about what happened and why it happened. It’s been taboo to talk about suicide for a very long time and it hasn’t changed yet and I’m afraid it never will but I know for a fact that it won’t unless people talk about it. When I hit rock bottom and really couldn’t find any other way out it was easy to make the decision. I had never really thought about it until I actually held the knife in my hand. After that it was pretty damn easy to just google what I needed to know.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes… Sorry, baby.”

This particular topic had always made him extremely emotional and when Jessie glanced over at him, Norman’s face was full of anguish. She placed a comforting hand on his thigh and leaned in closer to him and kissed his cheek.

“I love you.”

She whispered quietly and it made a small smile spread over his lips.

“You’re getting emotional, Norman.”

“Yeah, it’s…When she first told me what had happened and I understood the whole thing, cause it took some time to be able to wrap my head around it all... I mean, it really put things in perspective. It made me extremely emotional and I think I cried for like 2 days straight. I remember being so incredible thankful and absolutely amazed that she was still alive, cause I would probably have done the same thing. I really don’t like to talk about it cause I can’t imagine and I don’t want to imagine what my life would have been like if she had actually succeeded.”

“Can you talk about it? Alone?”

“Yeah, absolutely. When I decided to write the second book and focus were on those particular months of my life, we talked about it for days and nights. When we really got to know each other....”

“When was that? How long did it take for you to really open up to him?”

“About a year maybe, it’s… It’s weird because it took like 4 months before I told him about my family and after that it just… Everything just happened so fast and all of a sudden he was just there all the time and we shared everything.”    

“You thanked him and Mingus for putting up with you in your first book. The light at the end of your tunnel.”

“Yeah, they really have been for the past… 6-7 years. The first time I allowed myself to actually think about them as my new family was in 2010 and we spent our first vacation together, the three of us. I mean I’ve… I’ve loved him in some way since probably the first time we met but it changed, became something else when Mingus got into the picture. There’s only 14 months between Mingus and Jacob and in many ways he’s a substituted to the boy I lost.”         

“Rumor has it that you don’t get along with his mother though.”

“With Helena…? Honestly, that’s something I won’t talk about cause it involves other people’s personal life. I respect Helena, I think she’s an incredible woman and an amazing mother to Mingus but whatever might or might not have happen between the two or us is none business.”

“Ok, I can respect that. Speaking of things that’s no one’s business, you seem to be able to handle the fans pretty well.”

“I really don’t have a choice. It’s sort of a package deal and I knew that from the start. I enjoy interacting with the fans most of the times. I mean I love going to Comic Con and other events like that but it has gotten harder to do since we went public with this.”

“When we announced on social media that you were coming in to do an interview tonight, we got bombarded with questions from fans. Ready?”

“Shoot.”

“This one is from Lisa, Seattle. Have you made any plans for the wedding yet?”

“We haven’t even talked about it once yet to be honest. Something else got in the way.”

“George from Boston wants to know if Jessie ever stole anything from set as you did, Norman as you’ve confessed to stealing a crossbow every year.”

“Maybe…”

“You did? What?”

Norman turned to Jessie in surprise.

“The first arrow you ever fired, you know that one you shoot walker Greg in the head with? I have that, among other things.”

“Like what?”

“Like the black bandana from season 4 and I do have one of the vests, it almost cost me an arm but it was worth it. And I’ve the poncho, I really love that one.”

“Since we’re on the topic, Matthew from Tampa wants to know who your favorite character is and what season and/or episode you like the most?”

“It’s going to sound cheesy but it really would be Daryl even if I didn’t know Norman. It’s been just so amazing to see the transformation and watch this terrified little boy break out of his shell and become someone he never would’ve become if the world hadn’t ended. My favorite season is season 4 but the first episode of season 5 is my all time, this far, favorite episode.”

“Why?”

“Cause it was so sick… I remember taking a walk with Greg in the morning before they began filming and I swear I almost puked. It was just so fucking gross and realistic and it’s what the show has always been about.”

“Sandra from Hawaii wants to know if you’re going to name the baby Daryl if it’s a boy?”

They synchronize a small laugh and turning to each other at the same time as the question came. They hadn’t actually talked about names at all.

“That’s actually a very good question…. I don’t know. Do you want to name him Daryl?”

“Do you?”

“I asked first!”

Norman protested and she laughed, shaking her head. It was weird how she could all of a sudden forget where they were and what they actually were doing. She felt so at ease at the moment and she had to force herself to remember there were things she shouldn’t and actually didn’t want to tell the rest of the world.

“Fine… I don’t know. It’ll probably be on the list, yes but… As I said, we haven’t had that much time to talk about anything yet.”

“What do you do?”

_Work and fuck_ was the words that popped into her head and the grin on her face was Norman the only person on the planet able to read correctly. He placed a firm and warning hand on her knee and squeezed once.

“Between him working and going all over the place for different projects and back to New York to Mingus and me working and being extremely tired because of the pregnancy, there’s really no time over in the day. We will find make time for stuff like this soon enough but at the moment it’s still so new and so much other stuff going on.”

“Jolene from Salt Lake City wants to know which trip on _Ride_ you enjoyed the most?”

“I loved going out to Death Valley. It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before, it was so gorgeous and quiet out there. I loved every ride we did but the desert was something real special for me.”

“New Orleans for me. It’s one of my favorite places on earth and it was really great to finally be able to take the bike through there.”

“Did he get you into bikes?”

“Yeah. After a lot of nagging…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she was very reluctant to get on a vehicle with less than 4 wheels at first. I had to beg for a very long time. She finally gave in once I started working down in Georgia and she rode with me to set every day.”

“Now it doesn’t seem like you have a problem with it?”

“Not at all, I love it. I really don’t drive a car anymore, especially now when we live in Georgia.”

“Yeah, you liked pretty at ease on that bike getting here…”

The reporter produced his own phone and showed them a picture of the two of them making out on the bike less than an hour ago.

“Damn, they’re fast!”

“As I understand it, you tried really hard not to end up in the press in the beginning. As you said, you started to date in January but the first evidence took a few months, right? But after that it doesn’t seem like you mind getting caught. How’s that?”

“Of course we mind… It’s really no one’s business what’s going on in our private life but once the pictures got out there really wasn’t no going back. I’ll never be ok with sharing our personal life with the rest of the world, I don’t have to. But we have spent so much time apart from each other even if we’re actually standing beside each other, does that make sense? I love her and she loves me and I want the world to know what an incredible human being she is and that’s she’s mine and I neither want or can’t stay away from her.”

“Steven from London wants to know, with losing your family in consideration, has it made it harder to live in New York?”

“I didn’t go back to New York until 2 months after the attack. I’ve lived in New York all my life but when I got back after 9/11 it wasn’t home anymore. It was just a place where I used to be happy, where my family lived and where I started my own family. I’ve never been able to stay for too long in New York since they died. Since 2001 I haven’t stayed in New York for a solid 6 months and even less in the apartment I shared with Jacob and his father or my parents place.”

“Where were you?”

“Everywhere but in New York really. I spent a lot of time in London or just going all over the States, from city to city until I ended up in Chicago and y’all know what happened there… It was easier to stick around after we met though.”

“Why?”

“Cause I had somewhere else to run to. From the first time I stepped into his apartment, I loved it, I don’t really know why but I had somewhere I could just turn my brain off and pretend everything was normal. My family had a huge social network but I shouted everyone out after they died or they couldn’t handle to see me. People never know what to say to someone who lost everything… New York is never going to be the same as it once was for me but I don’t feel the need to run away as much as before.”

“Where’s home?”

“It’s not a where it’s a who. One of the good things coming out of this hellhole is that I’ve really learned what’s important in life. I don’t care anymore where I call it a night as long as it’s with this guy. And his son now and then. We can be in a hotel in Vegas or London or back in New York or home in Georgia but for me it’s really about who I’m with rather than the four walls surrounding me.”

“But you just said it.”

The reporter smiled at her and for a few seconds she couldn’t figure why but as Norman had the same warm smile on his lips she repeated what she had just said in her head. _Home in Georgia._ She actually chuckled to herself as she realized what she had actually said.

“Well, damn, yeah I guess I just did…I do love Georgia, I’ve come to spend a lot of time there for the past 6 years.”

“This or more of a comment then a question really from Carlos in Canada… You seem so different with nothing in common and yet you ended up together.”

“Wow, that’s rude… Why does everyone always assume they know everything just because they own a damn smart phone?”

“So you’re saying it’s wrong, Jessie?”

“I’m saying people should mind their own business and not assume they know everything about him or me. Why do you have to have everything in common when being partners anyway? I’ve my own life and he has his, we’re not glued to each other. I mean, he can’t dance to save his life and I can’t shoot a crossbow to save mine.”

“I did try to teach you, babe.”

“It didn’t go well?”

“I’m not a fan of any kind of weapons to be honest and the crossbow might look badass and all that but it’s really hard and heavy.”

“Seems to me, you choose the wrong kinda of guys if you don’t like weapons.”

“In that aspect, yes I did. I mean he’s killed someone in everything he’s ever done. But we’ve had a real great time along the way. I mean I can’t really say there’s ever been a dull moment, as it comes to doing things, in my life since I got to know him.”

 “Jake, 8 years old from Vancouver wants to know what do you do on your days off?”

“Sleep.”

The word came from both of them at the same time, making the reporter chuckle.

“Melissa from New York wrote this in all caps, so I’m guessing she really wants to know: PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT HOW NORMAN PROPOSSED TO YOU AND WHEN YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED? I REALLY NEED TO KNOW!”

“He didn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“He didn’t propose, I did but that’s the only thing you’ll get to know, sorry, Melissa.”

“No, wait, wait just a second… You proposed to him?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

She glanced over at Norman, not really sure how much he wanted to share with the public about this part of their private life.

“August 14th.”

“She dropped to one knee and everything?”

“We’ll keep that to ourselves but yes, she was the one to ask, not me.”

“No hesitation as to what your answer was going to be?”

“None whatsoever.

“I gotta ask about the rings though. It’s Elvish, right? The inscriptions?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m a huge Tolkien fan, total nerd to be honest and I actually do know Elvish and he happens to have a son that’s extremely observant and just pretty damn amazing.”

“Camila from Germany wants to know what your best advice would be, Norman, to help someone close to you go through something as horrible as losing their loved once?”

He took a few extra seconds to think about the question and how to answer it without giving too much away about what she had actually done to him at times.

“Everyone is different, deals with it differently and I can only speak for what it’s been with Jessie and… I mean, I never knew her right after it happened and when she really hit rock bottom but for me it’s been about always being there. It might sound simple but I think it’s one of the most important thing you can do really, always making sure they know you’re right there when and if they need you. Sometimes just to spend an hour yelling and crying, sometimes just to sit down and watch a movie in complete silence. Whatever she needs to get through a bad day, I’ve just tried to be there and not take it personal.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she has told me to go to hell and that she hates me about a hundred times by now but I learned pretty quickly that she never means any of the things she says when she’s having a bad day. It just gets too much to handle sometimes and she misses her family, you know whenever birthdays are coming up for example or special days like Christmas and all that. You just don’t give up.”

“Did you ever want to?”

“Hell yeah... It’s not been easy trying to convince her that she’s actually allowed to be happy again and love someone else, I mean it took 10 damn years to get to where we are right now, so yeah, I’ve wanted to give up.”

“What made you finally allow yourselves to be happy again, Jessie?”

“I think it was a combination of different things, like time actually passing. Time heal all wounds, right? It’s really BS but it some sense it’s been easier to allow people into my life later on, after time has passed. And really just what he said, that he’s has always been there. I was at Ground Zero when it just hit me, it felt real silly actually, like a crappy romance novel but I couldn’t remember my life without him anymore. And around the same time he had said he couldn’t deal with it anymore, that I had to stop feelings so guilty, pull my shit together really…. Yeah, it was a combination of different things but I realized there had only been one person standing by my side, who had constantly been there whenever and whatever I needed, since I lost my family and that’s this guy.”  

“You spend a lot of time at Ground Zero?”

“Yeah. It’s where they are, where I feel closest to them, since there wasn’t anything for me to bury. It’s where I can just sit and talk to mom or tell my sister about all the bad things I’ve done. It’s the best therapy there is.”

“Sam from Hawaii wants to know who you ship, Jessie?”

“Flandus! I hang on to everything Flanuds, it’s real silly actually, but yeah, Flandus always makes my day.”

“Guessing you’re pretty happy right now then?”

“Absolutely. This is my happy place, having my 3 favorite boys nearby.”

“3?”

“Mingus is here too.”

“I see.  Nikki, Las Vegas wants to know if you, Jessie have any ideas or preferences to Daryl’s sexuality?”

“Geez, when’s this going to end…?”

Norman asked, shaking his head. Jessie turned and gave him a small smile and placed a comforting hand on his thigh.

“I’m guess not before something actually get caught on camera… I really like the idea of Daryl being gay, I think that would been an exciting storyline to explore but I mean this is a zombie apocalypse, who the hell has time for romance? Especially with the Saviors and Negan poking around.”

“Are you glad it hasn’t happened? I mean, do you think you would mind having him make out with someone else on screen?”

“God no! He’s making out with pretty much everyone on set on a daily basis so that’s really not a problem. I’m not really the jealous type cause at the end of the day I know who he shares his bed with and who he wakes up with every morning.”      


	25. God's Gift

He could see it before she even noticed it herself. It was something about her eyes that changed and a day like this he was always extra observant and kept as close to her as he possible could. She stopped talking after they had breakfast. Moment by moment he saw her disappear into her own bubble. He could tell the noise from the playing kids was getting to her and before she snapped and said things she really didn’t mean, he took her outside. He knew she really didn’t need him to say anything, he just had to be there. If she wanted to talk, she would talk. He pulled her into his arms as he sat down on one of the sunbeds and she settled between his legs and crawled into a ball with her head on his chest and just laid there, staring into space. He could feel their unborn baby move as he stroke her hair but she didn’t seem to notice.

It had turned into afternoon when his son came to join them. He handed a plate of lasagna and a water bottle to his father as he sat down by his feet. He searched for Jessie’s gaze but she was miles away and he couldn’t even see her blink.

“Hey, she’ll be alright.”

Norman reached out a comforting hand and touched his son’s knee for a second. Mingus turned to him and nodded.  

“I know…I just hate to see her like this.”

“I’m fine, Mingus.”

Her voice was soft and low when she spoke for the first time in hours. His words broke through her walls and when he spoke with so much concern etched in his voice, she was able to pull out from the deep hellhole her mind had traveled. It had been on the morning news. She hadn’t even watched the TV but she had heard the familiar screams and the plane crashing into the tower and her boy’s terrified face was right there again. Any other day she would probably have been able to handle it better but today was a shitty day. Still she had to make sure Mingus knew she was alright. She loved him and she hated that she made him so worried.     

“Can I do anything?”

“No, I just want to stay right here for a little while longer.”

“Ok.”

“I love you, Mingus. I’m sorry you had to…”

“Hey, don’t think about that, you’ve nothing to apologize for, Jess. I love you too.”

He rose from the sunbed and touched her hair briefly before walking back inside. She closed her eyes at his touch and tried to find the first memories she had of him. She had run every tinny detail of Jacob’s life through in her head, time and time again but the last picture was always of a burning boy, screaming before being blown into piece. She had to focus on something else if she was ever going to make it through this day. Norman’s steady heartbeat and breathing helped a lot but as she forced Mingus 10-year-old face into sharp focus it made it yet a little easier to handle.

_April 2010 – Florida_

_She looked up from the book when she heard the familiar shrike of Mingus’s laugh. Quickly she located him by the shoreline with his father. They were goofing around in the warm water on one of many beaches in Miami. They had decided to go off the beaten track and abounding South Beach. Tomorrow they were heading to Orlando and 3 days at Disney World but for now she enjoyed some quiet time with the two boys. She wasn’t familiar with this feeling. It had been so long since she felt this relaxed and maybe she even was happy. It was hard to tell, because it was a feeling she had lacked in her life for years. But she guessed it must have been something like this when Jacob and the rest of her family was still alive. As she watched Mingus jump his father, trying to wrestle him to the ground, she laughed to herself. How she loved that boy. She had from the first time she met him but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell him yet. She hoped he knew. His father knew but he hadn’t pushed her to actually say the words. This vacation had been his idea. He said she had been looking a bit down lately and that she needed to get away. She knew he was right but he didn’t know why and she wasn’t going to tell him._

_She had let her mind wander a little too long and she failed to see the attack that was coming. She saw the boy too late and she wasn’t fast enough to get away from him when he jumped her. His wet and cold body landed on her back as he threw his arms around her neck. She shrieked just as Mingus had moments before._

_“Your little brat!”_

_Mingus just laughed when she tried to reach around and pull him off of her. When that didn’t work, she grabbed hold of his arms around her neck and got to her feet. Mingus quickly wrapped his legs around her as she headed back to the water, which was exactly what he wanted._

_“I thought you looked a little too hot up there.”_

_Norman said as she rushed past him and into the water, splashing him as she threw herself and the boy into the crystal blue sea._

_\------------------------------_

_Norman leaned to the doorway with a cup of coffee in his hands and listen to Mingus read. Jessie was lying next to his son in bed and she had heard her beginning reading but Mingus had quickly taken over and she had let him. She looked up and met his gaze and he fell head first in love with her again. As so many other times when she looked at him. His heart pounded and he felt the familiar warmth spread through his entire body._

_“You need to go to sleep, baby boy, ok? We’ll finish the book tomorrow.”_

_“Ok. Good night, Jessie.”_

_“Good night, Mingus, sleep tight. See you tomorrow.”_

_“Good night, dad.”_

_“Night, Mingus. I love you.”_

_He walked into the room and kissed his son._

_“I love you too, dad. Are we going to Disney World tomorrow?”_

_“Yup, so you better get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”_

_“Ok. Today was awesome.”_

_“It really was, it’s been a great day. Get some sleep now, baby. Good night.”_

_Once again, he kissed his son’s hair before Jessie did the same and they left the room together, closing the door behind them. Family hotel rooms had been a priority when he made the reservations. Mainly because he knew they never could keep their hands off of each other for that long and it was always a good idea to be able to close a door._

_He heard her sigh deeply as she bounced down on the couch and grabbed the remote to turn the TV on. He had other planes though and after putting the coffee away, he made his way over to her and sat down on the table right in front of her. Without speaking, he grabbed the remote out of her hand and turned the TV off again. The small touch of his fingers against her wrist made her eyes widen and he watched with deep satisfaction how her breathing got shallow with excitement. When he rose and held out his hand to her, she stood and followed him to the other bedroom without a second hesitation. He stopped by the edge of the bed and they stood just watching each other for a while. She still wore the same pink linen tunic she had had on the beach and he could make out the torques bikini underneath._

_Slowly he untied the lace at the top of the tunic and it fell to her right shoulder, exposing the left one. It amazed him how she got such a great tan after just 2 days in the sun and especially when she always wore cloths. He knew it was because of Mingus, to protect him from the whole truth of losing her family. She didn’t want him to know about Jacob._

_He heard her moan softly as his lips made contact with her salty skin. She smelled of sea and sun lotion and her hair was still damp and tangled as they hadn’t made it to the shower yet. It was on his agenda but not just yet. He had thought she was going to screw his plans up and protest at this kind of treatment but for once she allowed him to go slow and gentle with her. His lips traveled from her shoulder and up her throat and ended up under her ear._

_“I love you, Jessie.”_

_He breathed into her ear as his big hands grabbed her hips. Quickly they found their way under her tunic and he touched the soft skin of her abdomen. As his fingers caressed their way up against her ribs lightly, he felt her drop her head back. He felt goosebumps under his fingers and he smiled against her neck. In one fluid motion, he undressed her tunic and untied the bikini. Both fell to the floor at their feet and he kicked them away. He held her hips steady in both hands and looked down on her. She was breathing harder than normal and she was flushed as she looked back at him. Her eyes were so full of desire that it almost made him want to skip his plans and just fuck her but he had decided to try this and he was sticking to it. It was always so hot and steamy whenever they had sex but now he wanted to take things slow and explore every inch of her body in his own pace. He wanted to make sure she knew how much he loved her and how much he praised her gorgeous body._

_“I love those eyes, you know that? It was the first thing I saw, your eyes and you got me hooked, baby.”_

_He leaned in and kissed the corner of her eye before moving on to kiss his way down her face, against her nose and then lips and chin._

_“And those gorgeous lips. They can bring any man to his knees, baby.”_

_He ran his thumb over her lower lip._

_“What are you doing, Norman?”_

_“Easy babe, just enjoy, ok? Just met me do this my way. All you have to do is let me, just listen and enjoy.”_

_She nodded after a second hesitation and he continued. With every kiss and touch along her body, he made sure he told her how much he loved her and why. Her collarbones, her neck, her hands, her boobs, her ribs, her stomach, her hips, her shoulder blades, her spine, the small of her back, her feet, her calves, her thighs. Finally, he dropped to his knees and kissed the top of her pussy. She had been panting for the past minutes and he could both see and smell how turned on she was. She was trembling lightly as he ran on finger down her slit before bringing the finger to his mouth and sucked the wetness._

_“I love your gorgeous pussy, Jessie. You taste so damn fine, baby and you’re always so wet for me. You’re fucking unbelieve, woman and I love being inside you. You drive me crazy every time, baby. I love running my tongue up and down your wet pussy and hear you scream my name when I make you cum. And I love how your pussy hugs my fingers or my cock so tight when you cum over and over again. And I love that ass, your absolute gorgeous ass that’s always ready for me too.”_

_He squeezed both checks hard in his hands as he leaned in once more and put his tongue inside her without putting any force behind it. She gasped out loud and grabbed fistful of hair in both of her hands._

_“Holly fucking Christ!”_

_He felt her start to shake and decided to intervene before she collapsed onto the floor. Quickly he rose to his feet and lifted her by the waist and placed her in the center of the bed. He stripped off his own cloths before crawling on top of her. He leaned down over her and grabbed her face between his hands, resting his forearms on either side of her head._

_“I love you, baby.”_

_“I know. I love you too… Why are you doing this?”_

_He began to let his lips travel down her throat and chest when she spoke. He lifted his head to look at her._

_“Cause I love you and I’ve got a feeling no one have told you in a while what an incredible woman you are and you need to know that.”_

_She brushed some hair away from his face but seemed lost for words. He didn’t need her to respond, he could survive without that kind of recognition at the moment. Tonight was all about her. She closed her eyes shut and threw her head back as he slipped two fingers inside her at the same time as his lips found one nipple and he gently bit down on it, while his hand made sure the other breast wasn’t left out._

_His foreplay payed of better than he could have thought was possible. He hadn’t even had time to move his finger out of her before he felt her cum around him. He smirked to himself as his lips traveled further down her body and she squirmed under his touch. She gasped for air and he heard her let out words he couldn’t quite make out but he thought his name escaped her lips both once and twice._

_She muffled her own scream by clamping her own hand over her mouth when his tongue made contact with her clit. From the corner of his eye, he even saw her bit down on her own knuckles as he began to really work towards her own nirvana. As he let his tongue travel all the way from her clit and down towards her ass, she exploded once more and grabbed his head to make him stop._

_“Holly fuck, baby…! I can’t…Shit, Norm I can’t…”_

_She managed to force a few words out in between gasps as he lifted his head from between her legs. He grabbed her hips and rested his chin against under her navel. He watched while her breathing slowly got easier and she came down from her orgasm. It took her a good couple of minutes and he knew he wore a smug smile when she finally looked down on him. She chuckled, making him crack up in a laugh as well._

_“Holly Christ all mighty…!”_

_“Sorry, babe don’t think He was actually here.”_

_“Well someone was the day you were born… God’s gift to all women, that’s what you are, Norman Mark Reedus.”_

_He blushed at her words and looked away for a second._

_“I just want to be yours.”_

_He said and it looked like she held her breath. The hand that had been caressing his face, stopped on his check and he saw her smile disappear from both lips and eyes. She sighed and moved into a sitting position, crossing her legs and he followed, getting to his knees in front of her._

_“Listen…”_

_“No. You need to listen, J. I knew you were going to do this. I knew this was how you would react to all this. Frankly, I’m surprised you allowed me to keep going for so long. But this is what you always do and you gotta stop. I love you. My son loves you and I know you love me too. Hell, you love Mingus too. And you gotta stop being so fucking scared. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”_

_“You can’t promise me that.”_

_“No one is ever going to be able to promise you that, Jess. I get why you’re scared but you’re family now. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. I need you, Jessie. I want you in my life and not just fucking, you know that.”_

_“I… I want that too, I think… It’s just… I love you, Norman you know I do. And you know I love that boy out there too but it’s… You want to try again?”_

_“What the hell do you think all this was…? Yes, I want us to try again. I want you to move down to Georgia with me when production starts in a few weeks.”_

_She seemed to mull it all over in her head for a few moments and he waited her out without speaking. He knew better than to interrupt her. Finally she got to her knees and moved so she was only inches away from him. She grabbed his face between both hands and kissed him,_

_“Was that supposed to be a yes?”_

_He asked when she pulled away. She nodded and attacked him before he had time to respond. She knocked him to his back and pinned his hands over his head and started a make out session that kept going all through the act where she made him slip inside her and she began to ride him with hard but slow movements. The kiss didn’t even break as both of them fell over the edge together and they collapsed in a sweaty heap of tangled body parts._

                                              ------------------------

_People.com 9/11-16 Santa Monica, California_

_Walking Dead star Norman Reedus, 47, payed his respect to his deceased girlfriend Jessie Hamilton’s, 35, family late in the evening on 9/11. 15 years have passed since the terrorist attack that cost the Hamilton family, including Jessie’s parents, older sister, her boyfriend and their 9-month old son Jacob their life’s. Around 9 pm the couple was spotted on the beach in Santa Monica with Reedus’s 16 years old son Mingus and actor and close friend, Sean Patrick Flanery as they lite five sky lanterns and sent them flying. Jessie shared a few tender moments with her stepson as she seemed to wipe tears away from the teenager and the two shared a long embrace. Mingus wasn’t the only who how was moved by the ceremony. Witnesses say Miss Hamilton was the only one not crying and she was seen holding hands with both Mr. Reedus and Mr. Flanery as they made to leave the beach after half an hour._

Stepson. It was the word that stood out in the article she found online right before touch down in New York. Mingus was asleep beside her and she elbowed him in the side. He groaned but never opened his eyes.

“Come on, Mingus. We touch down in like 2 minutes.”

“Fine.”

He opened his eyes and turned to her.

“You didn’t have to fly back with me, you know.”

“I know but I’m kinda killing two birds with one stone here. I get some company flying home and I get a reason to pick up some things from my apartment.”

“You need any help?”

“You’ve school, Mingus. You’ve already missed 2 days because you stayed with me.”

“How long are you staying?”

“I haven’t decided yet. A day, maybe two. Depends on how quick I can find and pack everything I need.”

“What are you doing?”

“I thought I’d try to get through Jacob’s baby things.”

“Where do you live anyway? I mean when you haven’t been living with dad, where do you live? You were always at our place way back when.”

“We moved into a penthouse in Tribeca right before Jacob was born.”

“Wow. Penthouse, huh?”

“My dad was into real estate. He owned a few properties around town. It’s where my family made most of our money really.”

“I could come over after school and help you if you like.”

“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

She patted his knee as the wheels touched down on LaGuardia airport. She and Mingus had stayed in L.A. without Norman, who had to go back to Georgia Sunday night, for another 2 days. They had spent most of their time exploring the city together, visiting museums and making it through the Walking Dead attraction at Universals alive. She had had a blast with the teenager and loved every second she got to spent alone with him. She was even glad his father hadn’t been able to stay behind. They had never had the opportunity to spent time alone and when Mingus had asked if he could stay with her, she hadn’t hesitated for a second.

                                              ---------------------------------

She stood outside the door for a full 10 minutes. She walked back to the to the street twice before turning back again. Finally she picked up her phone and called Norman, her hands shaking and tears burning in her eyes.

“Jessie, baby?”

She knew she alarmed him by calling in the middle of a production day. She knew his schedule by heart and knew she wouldn’t call right now if it wasn’t important.

“I just need you to tell me everything’s going to be ok right now.”

“You know it is, J. Everything is going to work out just fine as long as we have each other. If you don’t feel like you can do this right now, that’s ok. We can go back together later and do this together. You don’t have to do it alone, baby.”

“I want to… I need to be able to get through this.”

“No you don’t. You don’t have anything to prove, Jessie. I love you, baby.”

“I love you too. Could you just stay with me until I get inside?”

“Of course, love.”

She took a deep breath and put the key in the door and turned it. Hearing him breath on the other line made it easier to step over the threshold. She hadn’t been back here since last year but the place was spotless. Every other week she had a cleaning crew tidy the place up and she even saw a vas of sunflowers standing just inside the door.

“Thank you.”

She dropped the keys on a small table and took her shoes off before stepping further inside.

“Whatever, whenever you need, my love.”

“Did I ever tell you I’m the luckiest girl alive?”

“You did now. I miss you, baby girl.”

“I miss you too, Norm. How’s your day?”

“Alright… Rough, but I’m almost done. I’m hanging out with Andy tonight, I fucking hate being home without you, J.”

“Say hi to him for me.”

“I will. Are you alright, baby?”

“I’ll be alright, promise. Mingus offered to come help me tonight after he’s done in school. I’ll call you again if I need you.”

“Good. I’ll be right here, babe.”

“I know. As I said, the luckiest girl in the world. I love you to the moon and back, Mr. Reedus.”

“And I love you more… Take care of my baby boy too, alright?”

“It’s not a boy!”

“We’ll see.”

“Bye, Norman.”

“Bye, Jessie.”


	26. Breaking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so i really need to stop Google Norman's name, cause i find too much stuff to write about.... ;)

Andy watched his best friend from the kitchen. Norman was on the couch in front of the TV, flipping through channels without really watching the television set at all. His mind was hundred miles away and Andy knew it was probably back in New York and with Jessie. He had the same, stupid, too happy for one single person, grin on his face but still with that unmistakable look of worry as he always had nowadays. If Norman had told him this was what his relationship with Jessie was going to end only a year ago, he would have laughed out loud and asked if he was fucking kidding. He still had a hard time wrapping his head around how the hell they ended up engaged and pregnant when it had been so completely different not even a year ago. He knew Norman was confused about how she suddenly just changed her mind about what she wanted from him. And he was bound to agree.

“You ok, man?”

Andy had to ask the question twice before Norman finally snapped his head away from the TV and tilted his head back to look at him.

“Huh?”

“Are you ok?”

“Fine, man.”

“Something on your mind?”

“Everything… Nothing… I don’t know, it’s just… It just goes round and round.”

He put his head heavy against the backrest of the couch and sighed as Andy came to join him with a beer. Andy patted his thigh once and grabbed the remote from him before Norman could change the channel yet again.

“What is it that you’re so worried about, Norm? Really?” 

“Losing her.”

“Why would you ever do that? She’s carrying your child, Norman. She asked you to marry her, remember? Not that other way around.”

“I know. It just feels too good to be true.”

“It’s not.”

“It’s just been so…I’ve wanted this for so long and now… The fucking war is over, man and some part of me miss it and I know it’s fucking insane.”

“I get it, dude. I know it was a damn war but I get it, trust me. It never was a dull moment, was it?”

“Never. It’s not that it’s boring now, not at all just different. The way it’s supposed to be but I’m just afraid that’s it’s not enough for her. I know she miss it more than I do.”

“She’s a drama queen.”

“Yeah…”

Norman chuckled and drank from the beer. Andy laughed too and they toasted to their statement before beginning to watch an episode of Mad Man.

“I’ve a very vivid memory of her from shooting season 5… I mean, what the fuck, man? 2014 must have been chaos for the both of you.”

“Amen to that, dude… Worst fucking year in my life.”

_November, 2013 – New York_

_Jessie stared at the text for so long it began to hurt her eyes. She read it through so many times, Maya who she was having lunch with, actually grabbed her arm and demanded to know what was going on._

_“Jessie! For fuck’s sake, what the hell is going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”_

_It took her a few more seconds before she decided to shrug it off and leave it at the back of head at the moment. She blinked at her friend before putting the phone away. Putting her feelings away and putting Norman away._

_“Nothing… It’s fine.”_

_“Whenever you say stuff like that nowadays it’s about Norman. What’s he done this time?”_

_“Nothing. He just wanted told me he had decided to start dating some model.”_

_“I thought you were… But…? Aren’t you dating him?”_

_“No.”_

_“Jessie…? You love him.”_

_“He’s a friend… How’s work?”_

_The change of subject came so fast, it caught Maya off guard and she stuttered out a few words of protest before trying to get Jessie to talk about the actor and “friend” again. But for every attempt she did, Maya could see how she built up her defense more for each word she spoke. She had seen the same thing before, whenever Jessie had been on a break she hadn’t chosen herself, from Norman. She turned cold and distant and turned off every emotion she had except the negative once._

_Jessie would never admit it to anyone but she got lost every time Norman wasn’t around. And Maya was there to see it first hand and every time it was worse than the time before but as November turned into December and Jessie barley spent any time in New York, she began to understand how bad it really was this time around._

_\------------------_

_He had a breakfast date with his girlfriend. He had a girlfriend. He had to keep reminding himself every morning of that fact that it actually was true but he had been dating Cecilia for a little more than 1,5 months now and she was coming over for breakfast. He was in the bathroom when his phone rang figuring it was her, he picked up without looking at the display._

_“Hi, baby!”_

_“Sorry, wrong person.”_

_The voice on the other line was familiar but he had no idea where he had heard it before. He couldn’t place her._

_“Who’s this?”_

_“Maya, I’m a friend of Jessie’s? We’ve meet a few times.”_

_“Right. What can I do for ya?”_

_“When’s the last time you talked to Jessie?”_

_Hearing her name made him lightheaded and he had to sit down on the bed, trying to get his brain to work again. He had tried so fucking hard to put her out of his head for the past 6 weeks. He had even packed all her cloths and other belongings that had somehow ended up in his apartment. He hadn’t called or texted her since he told her he wanted to try to really date someone else._

_“Norman? You there?”_

_He snapped out of his own mind and heard the woman speak on the other line._

_“What? Sorry?”_

_“Have you talked to Jessie lately?”_

_“No. Why the hell should I?”_

_The words that came out of his mouth surprised him. It wasn’t what he thought about saying. He wanted to asked what was wrong, how was she? Had something happened? But he had promised himself to try to make this relationship work with Cecilia. He was worth more._

_“Look, I’m not entirely sure what the hell it’s that you two have but I’ve to do something. She loves you, Norman. You know that and I know you love her too and I know she can be a bit… Difficult.”_

_He heard himself laugh._

_“Is that was she is? A bit difficult?”_

_“You probably know better than me what she’s like but the point is that she needs you. You know she does and she… I haven’t heard from her for 3 weeks, she’s abroad somewhere. She just runs right now.”_

_“That’s what she does.”_

_“Yeah but… Look, I know I’ve no right to get involved in this or ask you for anything but she has been through enough. She needs you and I’m just asking you to give her a call or text her or something. I’m worried about her, Norman. She’s a fucking mess and we both know why and Jessie knows too but she will never admit it.”_

_“I can’t wait for her forever, Maya. I really can’t.”_

_“I know. Just call her, please?”_

_“Ok. Where’s she now?”_

_“Sofia, Bulgaria.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“No idea. Just let her know you’re still there, ok? Cause you’re, right?”_

_“I don’t know if she actually wants me to be.”_

_“Trust me, Norman, she does.”_

_The woman hung up and he sat with the phone still pressed to his ear long after they ended their conversation. Her face came back into sharp focus and he cursed to himself as his bad conscience kicked him in the ass._

Heard you were in Sofia… Why?

_He texted her but threw the phone away from himself after he had push sent. He had promised himself not to reach out to her again. She was going to have to do the ass kissing this time around. He had other things to focus on. He really thought it could be something real good with this girl. Sure, she was young and their sex life hadn’t even come close to what he had shared with Jessie but he had to let it take time. He wanted and needed more than just a warm body in bed and no matter how many chances Jessie had gotten, she could never make it work. He had come to realize that it probably never would be anything more than just a few months at the time and he wanted and needed so much more. So instead of reading her replay to his text, he walked over to answer the front door when a knock echoed through the apartment._

_\--------------------------_

_She couldn’t stand it anymore. She hadn’t seen him for almost 2 months and she was losing her mind more for each day that past. She was so confused about everything going on and she couldn’t make sense of what she felt. She hated him for doing this to her. She hated that he could finally live without her. At the same time, she was somewhat glad that he had actually seemed to have found love. She knew he deserved it but the need to still have him in her life was so overwhelming she was back at his apartment as the new year had just begun._

_When he didn’t answer the door, she used her own key and entered the apartment. The moment she stepped inside she felt a calm she hadn’t felt for weeks come over her. This was familiar, what it was supposed to be. Nothing had changed. She dumped her jacket and shoes on the floor and headed straight for the bedroom. The bed wasn’t made and she collapsed on top of it. Eye in the dark came out of nowhere and joined her. The cat meowed and moved into her arms as she began to gently pet him. Before she knew what hit her, Jessie was asleep._

_“What the fuck…?!”_

_Norman stumbled over something on the floor just inside the door but managed to find his balance as he threw one hand out found the wall for support. Without thinking, he bent down and hung the jacket and placed the shoes to the side of the door before stepping inside his home. He stopped in the middle of a step however and turned back around when something clicked into place inside his head. Slowly he walked back to the front door. She still hadn’t bought new shoes. The red Converse was so worn he wondered if it was any difference to walking barefoot. He didn’t have to look long to find her, he knew where she would be. As he leaned to the doorway to watch her sleep, he felt his heart starting pounding in his chest. He had been stupid enough to think he had fallen out of love with her. He knew it was wrong, that it went against everything he believed in and stood for, but he couldn’t stop it. She would always mess him up and make him forget that fact that he actually had a girlfriend. As she turned in her sleep and ended up on her stomach, hugging a pillow under her head, he moved. The sleeping cat beside her glared at him as he was being shoved away._

_He climbed on top of her and pulled the hair away from her neck and leaned in to kiss her under her ear. She smelled the same, the way it was supposed to be, so familiar and absolutely amazing. He inhaled deeply and kissed her shoulder. The second his lips touched her skin, he knew she was awake, her breathing changed and he could feel it as his hand made contact with her body but her eyes remind closed._

_“I love you”_

_He whispered to her._

_“I love you too.”_

_Sher replayed before turning around under his weight and her lips found his so easily it was almost comical._

_\-----------------------_

_“Do you still have a girlfriend?”_

_She flipped the grilled cheese over on the stove and chose not to look at him. He was at the counter, cutting up fruit and vegies._

_“Yes.”_

_“Good. I’m happy for you.”_

_“No you’re not but if you need to pretend that’s what you are, then sure.”_

_“What the hell is that suppose to mean?”_

_“I know what you feel, J even if you haven’t figured it out yet. When you do, let me know, ok? But until then, yes I’ve a girlfriend.”_

_“So should we stop seeing each other? Really stop?”_

_“No. I can’t. You know I can’t. I know it’s not right, that I shouldn’t have fucked you just now but I can’t stop… She knows about you.”_

_“Who?”_

_“Cecilia. My girlfriend. I’ve told her about you, that we’re friends. Close friends.”_

_She felt the confusion spread through her as she tilted the bread unto two different plates and walked over and placed them in front of him._

_“Why?”_

_“I care about you, Jessie. More than you know and more than I should.”_

_“So I can keep coming over now and then?”_

_“Yeah. You need me and I’m going to be there. As a friend, Jess. I really like Cecilia, it might turn into something real good for me and I… Friends, ok?”_

_“Ok.”_

_They both knew he was lying but they pretend to believe him. They could never be just friends. But she kept living the lie for weeks with him acting alongside. She thought they both deserved an Oscar for their performance. She was so nice to the young woman she really wanted to strangle in her sleep every time she saw her kiss Norman. She wanted to puke into her own mouth sometimes. He kept up the act as well. He was probably in love with her on some level but as soon as he was alone, they fucked. It wasn’t often, because the model was in Jessie’s eyes, over her head in love with him. A lovesick teenager, who seemed to find every moment without him, as a moment wasted._

_Her cup finally spilled over though and she exploded when they had left for some alone time in his Georgia home and he had asked her to come down after just a few days. She had hopped not to have to run into the girlfriend as she knew Cecilia was supposed to leave the same day she arrived. But there she was, arms and legs and lips all over him on the front steps as she parked the bike on the driveway. The brunette had such a huge and happy smile on her face, Jessie just wanted to smack it into the ground as she bounced down the driveway, dragging Norman with her. Jessie dismounted the bike and took the helmet off._

_“Hey! Good thing you could come down, now when I’ve to leave. He gets so lonely out here in the woods. I can’t believe you drove all the way from New York on that thing, I would be so scared. I really should get going. I’ll see you in a few days. How long are you staying?”_

_She spoke so fast, Jessie barley caught half of it and it took her a second too long to respond the question._

_“Eh… I’m not sure. I haven’t decided yet, we will see.”_

_“Take care of him for me, will you?”_

_“He can take care of himself…”_

_The snarling sentence was so low, the woman didn’t seem to catch it but Norman glared at her and she glared right back._

_“What’s that?”_

_Quickly she put on an angelic smile and even patted the models upper arm._

_“I’ll make sure he’s taken care off, no worries.”_

_“Thanks. Bye, baby. I love you.”_

_She turned quickly and kissed Norman hard before skipping towards the car and drove off before either of them had the time to move or say anything else. When the car was no longer in sight, she felt safe to finally lose the act and she burst out laughing._

_“You should get her a babysitter.”_

_“What the fuck are you talking about?”_

_“Are you sure she finds her way through an airport alone? Maybe you should go with her and hold her hand through security. The pore thing might get scared or forget her blanket.”_

_“What the fuck, J?! Shut the fuck up!”_

_She grabbed her bags from the back of the bike and simply rolled her eyes at Norman’s anger and turned to walk inside the house. The door slammed behind her and she knew she had pissed him off. But she needed to get it out of her system. The bags dropped to the floor and she cried out in surprise and pain as one of his hands grabbed hold of her ponytail and the other pinned her waist tight. He pushed her forward until he could bend her over the back of the couch. She grabbed hold of the backrest and cursed when he once more tugged at her hair and he dug his nails into her ass._

_“Beat the little bitch princess don’t allow you to be rough with her. She might break a fucking nail, right? Or get a bruise.”_

_“I’ll give you bruises, bitch if you don’t shut up!”_

_“What? About your baby princess? Does she call you daddy too? Does she pee her pants when you start the bike?!”_

_“Shut the fuck up, Jessie!”_

_His hand grabbed her throat and he squeezed hard, making her gasp as her supply of air got cut off some. She pushed herself back against him and her ass made contact with his erection. She smiled to herself and she felt his grip loosen as she began to rub against him._

_“Stop the fucking grinding!”_

_He suddenly yelled out and she froze at the anger in his voice. She hadn’t expected it and it made her confused. But she                 quickly put it out of her mind as she heard him open and drop his jeans to the floor. The next thing she knew she was pushed down on her back on the floor and he tore the jeans off of her body and flipped her over and up to her knees within seconds. She cried out and shouted his name as he entered her and held on to the hair at the back of her head as he began to move._

_“Shit! God dammit, baby I’ve missed you, J.”_

_He realized her hair and grabbed her hips in both hands and stopping his thrusting and guided her around him instead. She kept moving around him and rolled her hips, making him lose control a lot quicker than usual. Jessie turned her head and watched as he threw his head back and shut his eyes close. She grinned to herself and moved before he had time to protest. She pushed him into a sitting position with his back to the couch and straddled him. She stopped when she felt his entire length stretch her and they ended up looking at each other for the first time really since she got there. He unzipped her jacket and threw it away from her body as she began to move slowly around him._

_“How come you always wear my clothes?”_

_He recognized his own punk rock t-shirt as he took it off as well and her bra quickly followed too. She moaned when his mouth attached to her left breast and one hand landed on the other._

_“I’ve been staying at your apartment since you left.”_

_He lifted his head and stared at her._

_“That’s 6 weeks ago.”_

_“Yeah… I just can’t be at my place right now.”_

_“Ok.”_

_He said and placed a hand on her face. The confusion kept on growing in both of them as not even 2 minutes ago, all both of them had wanted was to beat the holly hell out of each other but now they suddenly got so affectionate and carrying. They moved into the kiss at the same time and once their lips met, there was nothing holding them back. She wrapped her arms around his head and put just as must force into the kiss as into fucking him. She felt him explode inside within a minute and she kept riding out his climax while he kept insulting her mouth with his._

_“Hold on.”_

_He whispered against her lips all of a sudden and she wrapper her legs around his waist as he got to his feet. She placed her head at the crook of his neck and clung to his sweaty body as he carried her into the bathroom and turning on the shower._

_\---------------------------_

_“Norman?”_

_Jessie woke with a stare as she heard a female voice call out from somewhere in the house. She tried to locate where she was and what time and day it was. The first thing she saw was Norman sleeping beside her, his arm wrapped over her hip. Next she noticed they were both naked under the covers and thirdly her saw the shock on the young models face as she pushed open the bedroom door and walked inside. She halted after just one step and gasped. Jessie wanted to laugh but knew she had to put on her poker face._

_“Hi…”_

_She said carefully and sat up, wrapping the cover around herself. Wasn’t the bitch supposed to be gone for 3 days? It had just been 2? Right? She had no idea what day it was, everything just blared together and she tried to make her brain start working. She was hung over as hell as they had ended up playing “Never have I ever” with a bottle of Jack the night before. It turned out they had both pretty much done everything and the bottle had been empty in a surprisingly short time._

_“What’s going on?”_

_What the fuck do you think, dumb bitch?! Jessie swallowed the words that she wanted to shout at the girl in the doorway. This was nothing she should get involved in. She nudged Norman without losing Cecilia from sight._

_“No, baby, stop I don’t wanna…Go back to sleep.”_

_“Come on, Norm wake up.”_

_“Why? I was having such a good dream about you…”_

_“Norman!”_

_“What? You want me to fuck you again? J, babe give me minute to wake up first, ok, baby girl?”_

_Jessie groaned in frustration but internally she was doing a happy dance as she watched the models horrified expression and teary eyes._

_“Norman?”_

_The whisper coming from the brunette could barely be heard but somehow it registered with the man in the bed and he scrambled around and stared at her._

_“Cecilia? What are you doing here?”_

_“I’m gonna go…”_

_Jessie sneaked into the walk in closet and closed the door behind her as she quickly got dressed. Neither of them had moved when she walked back out to the bedroom less than a minute later. She had planned on sneaking past the other woman and leave the house but she spoke the moment Jessie stepped out again._

_“This was a mistake, right? You were drunk?”_

_“I… It’s…Yes…”_

_Jessie turned and looked at Norman as he tried to figure out what to say. She had no idea what he actually wanted. She thought he wanted to break it off but apparently he had no plans to do that right now._

_“Forgive and forget.”_

_Jessie gaped at the other woman. She could literally feel her jaw drop. Was she really so desperate to hold on to him that she could just forgive him without a second thought? She even let out a snort of laughter but caught it off mid through as she felt Norman’s burning glare at the back of her head._

_“I’ll leave you alone.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_She grabbed her keys and helmet at the door and almost kicked the front door open to get out there faster. As she reached the bike however, she noticed it wasn’t what she needed right now. She threw the key into the helmet and dropped it beside the bike before turning and began to ran along the trail beside the house, straight into the woods. She had no control over what was going on anymore and it made her panicky. So she just ran. She ran until her legs wouldn’t carry her anymore and she collapsed on the green and leafy ground. The trees and sky over her was spinning and she wanted to scream but her body was to focused on keeping her breathing to do anything else._

Come home! We need to work this out

_It might have been an hour or maybe three but as she finally started to piece herself together again she picked up her phone and noticed 3 waiting text messages from Norman._

Where are you?! I’m driving Cecilia into Atlanta, I’ll be back around 9 tonight, hope you’ll be there too

_Dropping her off for a playdate? Was the first thought that she was conscious of thinking and right after she burst out laughing hysterical. What the hell was she doing? Lying the middle of the woods because he had a fucking girlfriend?! She didn’t need him._

I love you J

_The last text made her get to her feet and she brushed off the dirt before trying to locate where she was and where she was going._

_\--------------------------_

_He tried to call her for the 12 th time as he finally pulled up in front of the house after driving back and forth to Atlanta but as all the other times, Jessie didn’t pick up. He saw lights on in the house though and he prayed she had found her way back. She couldn’t stay for long though, not at the moment. It would blow over soon enough but Cecilia had made it pretty clear that she wanted Jessie to leave. _

_He knew something was wrong the moment he closed the front door behind him. A pair of unfamiliar shoes was standing in the hallway and not far from them he saw Jessie’s shoes and the tee she wore when she left in the morning. He followed the trail of cloths towards the bedroom and soon enough the moans reached his ears. She was on top of a guy he had never seen before. His hands touching her everywhere and she rode him fast, making both of them moan. A slight tension in her back that would pass anyone but him by, told him, she knew he was there. She didn’t seem to care though, she just sped up and moaned louder all though he could tell she wasn’t even really enjoying it that much. As she bent down and caught the guy’s lips in a deep kiss, he finally lost it. No one got to kiss her like that but him!_

_“What the fuck are you doing?!”_

_She didn’t even protest as he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away from the guy, before dragging his sorry ass down on the floor and punched him once on the face and screamed at him to get the fuck out of there. He scrambled to his feet with his tail between his legs and gathered his cloths before running towards the front door._

_He tried to get his breathing under control but it came in furious breaths as he snapped back around to Jessie. She was calmly sitting the middle of the bed and looked at him with a face that lacked emotions. He knew this was what she wanted, she had want to hurt him, make him react like this._

_“What the fuck was that, bitch?!”_

_“What? Why should you be the only one allowed to fuck someone else?”_

_She got up from the bed and walked into the closet. He followed and shoved her up against the mirror in the back._

_“You don’t kiss anyone else but me!”_

_“Fuck you, Norman!”_

_She pushed him away and returned to the task off getting dressed. She knew she would’ve to leave. This was going to end bad and she knew she was looking for a reason to run away again, she didn’t know any other way._

_“Are you fucking insane?! Are you honestly such a fucking pshyco?! Who the hell was that?!”_

_“None of your fucking business!”_

_She yelled back at him and pulled a hoodie over her head and was finally dressed. She headed back out and grabbed her backpack from the floor and started grabbing all the things that was hers that she could find, all while having Norman breathing down her neck, his furious words spitting at her._

_“Mind your own fucking business, Norman! You’re the one in a relationship, remember?! I don’t need you to…”_

_“Fuck you, Jessie!”_

_He grabbed the bag from her and threw it across the room._

_“You know how I feel about you! You know I love you! You fucking know I hate this! I hate what you do to me, you keep hurting me and I keep taking it and….!”_

_“You have a girlfriend! Not me! You wanted this, Norman! You wanted to make this work with Cecilia! You left me!”_

_She felt tears build up in her eyes but she angrily blinked them away and pushed him away once more._

_“I can’t fucking wait anymore, Jessie! I can’t have you fucking every guy you ran into just because you need to feel something! Because you need to hurt me! I can’t fucking take it anymore, J!”_

_“Have fun with your little bitch princess, Norman!”_

_She turned her back at him and grabbed her bag from the floor before walking towards the front door. She never got there before she felt his arms around her pulling her back._

_“Stop it! Let me the fuck go!”_

_She spun around and slapped him hard in the face but he didn’t let go, he just stared back at her. She would break down in tears if she didn’t get out of there soon. She couldn’t let him see her break down._

_“I don’t need you, Norman!”_

_She snarled and tried to put as much hatred as possible into the words._

_“Keep telling yourself that, babe.”_

_“You’ve made your chose, I’ve made mine.”_

_“Really? What was his fucking name?”_

_“Who?”_

_“The guy you just fucked…! But you’re right. Yeah, I made my chose and you’ve made yours. Get the hell out of here and don’t come back. Give me your keys to the apartment as well.”_

_“Fine!”_

_For a third time, she shoved him hard in the chest and he staggered backwards. Once she held the keys in her hand, it overwhelmed her what she was about to do._

_“Say hi to Mingus from me, ok? We were supposed to have lunch next week but I guess… Well, at least he will have someone in his own age to play with when his stepmom moves in with you.”_

_She had to hurt him to protect herself. It was so much easier to handle his pain than her own. His eyes turned into slits as he scowled at her._

_“Take care, Norman.”_

_She placed the keys on a small table with a vase of flowers and a picture of baby Mingus. Her eyes lingered on the boy for a second before she turned and left._

_\---------------------------_

_“What the hell is going on, dude? Where the hell are you?”_

_Andy walked into his trailer but Norman simply grunted from his place lying on the couch. The Brit walked over and took a seat on the opposite side and placed his Starbucks on the table between them._

_“I was back in New York last week.”_

_“And…? Did you see Jessie?”_

_“Yeah. Well, kinda… We had lunch and Mingus was there too. So… We just talked.”_

_“No sex?”_

_“No sex… We’ve never gone this far before. It’s been… 14 weeks.”_

_“You’d have a girlfriend you know. And it ain’t Jessie.”_

_“I know…”_

_“If you’re so damn unhappy, why don’t you just break up with Cecilia, man?”_

_“I’m not unhappy, I love her, she’s great but… I miss her so fucking much, Andy. I miss Jessie so much it fucking hurts and it’s never been that way with Cecilia.”_

_“How was she?”_

_“Fine. I know she really tried for Mingus sake but… I don’t know, man. She’s so cold, closed up and distant.”_

_“Yeah, I guess this time of year is pretty bad for her, huh?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Norman sat bolt upright and felt wide awake all of a sudden._

_“I mean, it’s September and she must have a…”_

_“Fuck…! What date is it today?”_

_“September 6.”_

_“Already? When the hell did that happen? It was July just now…!”_

_“Norman, you need to sort this out. She loves you, Jessie loves you, Norman. You know that. You can’t keep going like this, it’ll eat you up.”_

_“I know.”_

_“So tell me what you want.”_

_“What? Now? I can’t do that! And stop with the fucking shrink thing! It’s not that simple. Even if I end things with Cecilia, it won’t make Jessie fall in love with me.”_

_“Admit to herself that she’s in love with you, because you already know she is?”_

_“Yeah. Why the hell is it so obvious to everyone but to her? It drives me insane!”_

_“She’ll come around.”_

_“Sure, after 8 fucking years…?”_

_He laughed without humor and grabbed the cup of coffee._

_“Wouldn’t kill you to have a little faith.”_

_“Oh shut the fuck up!”_

_Andy laughed when he quoted one of Beth’s lines from season four and they went down to business and starting going through today’s script._

_\-----------------------------_

_Jessie had lost her footing, her stability on earth, and the only thing she thought might help was getting on her bike and just drive. She was not aware of where she was going, just going and going but after maybe 10 hours since leaving New York she saw the first familiar outline of Atlanta. She hadn’t even known this was where she was going._

_It was early Monday morning as she hit Senoia and speed through it way over speed limit. She knew they were a few miles out this week, shooting at a barn in the middle of the woods. And she knew it would be cops all over but she didn’t care anymore. Not about anything. She just wanted to see Norman again. The sirens and flashing lights showed up behind her as she hit the small backroads of Georgia. She kicked in another gear and sped up. She zoomed all over the road, thankful and disappointed at the same time that she didn’t meet any other cars. After a sharp right turn there was suddenly 2 police cars blocking the road but she simply drove between the two vehicles and she could finally spot the familiar entourage that was the production of the Walking Dead._

_She stopped the bike by the side of the road but remind on the bike waiting for someone to shout at her get off the bike. She heard the guns before she saw them but the words they bellowed at her just echoed on her head._

_“Jessie?”_

_Andy felt like he had suddenly been thrown into a real life action packed movie production as the red, familiar, bike came out of nowhere and stopped just feet from where he was standing with Greg, discussing the scene they were about to shoot. Three police cars pulled up and he acted without thinking when he saw the guns pointing at Jessie’s back. He rushed up to her and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. He got the helmet off her but wished he hadn’t when all he met was empty eyes and a face so full of anguish. He grabbed her face and tried to break through to her._

_“Baby? Look at me, Jessie.”_

_“Andy?”_

_“I’m here, sweetie.”_

_At the corner of his eyes he saw Greg talking to one of the police officers and at the same time as he managed to make Jessie get off the bike the police pulled back. People started to move in closer around them, wondering what was going on but as he searched for the one that she really needed, he couldn’t find Norman anywhere._

_“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”_

_The anger came out of nowhere but it seemed to do the trick. She finally looked at him, although it was really without emotions._

_“Are you trying to get yourself killed?! What the hell, Jess?!”_

_“Why the hell do you care?”_

_“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. Have you been driving all the way here from New York?”_

_Andy asked and picked up his phone and called Norman._

_“Left last night.”_

_“You really are a crazy ass bitch, you know that….? Hi, it’s me. Where are you?”_

_“Missing me already…? I’m down at the barn with Melissa. We heard the sirens, what’s going up there?”_

_“Jessie’s here. She… Had a little run down with the police. She’s fine, no harm down. She might get like a one-million-dollar ticket for the kind of speeding but other than that, she’s ok.”_

_Andy could hear how he had started to move on the other line even before he had finished the second word in his sentence._

_“I’ll be right there.”_

_“Alright.”_

_Andy grabbed her arm and guided her towards the set up tent to get her some food. She snatched it back however but followed him and accepted the bottle of water he handed her when she sat down. Andy leaned forward and looked at her._

_“I’m serious, J. What the hell were you thinking?”_

_“What’s to you, Andy?”_

_“I care about you, Jessie. No matter what you think. And no matter what you think, Norman wouldn’t survive without you. Just the way you can’t go on without him either. Right? That’s why you’re here?”_

_“I don’t know why I’m here.”_

_“Then figure it out, baby.”_

_He had some kind of 6 th sense when it came to hearing Norman, or maybe it was the fact that he was such a loud breather when he ran. Andy heard him before he skittered inside the tent and halted with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. He must have gunned it all the way. Andy rose from his chair and thumped Norman on the back as he walked past him out of the tent. 5 deep breaths later, he rose and they locked eyes. She moved quick and he caught her when she threw herself at him. She buried her head in his chest and grabbed the back of his west. _

_“It’s alright, baby. I’m right here.”_

_He stroke her head and kissed her forehead while talking to her, trying to calm her down. Minutes past and he finally felt her relax and her sobs eased._

_“I’m right here, baby girl, ok? I’m not going anywhere. Everything is going to be ok. Just tell me what to do, J.”_

_“I just need to go…I just want to leave. Go somewhere else.”_

_“Jessie… I can’t just leave. Not right now, I’ve work to do.”_

_“I know.”_

_She pulled away and wiped her wet eyes with the back of her hand. He grabbed her face between both hands and made her look at him._

_“I’ll figure something out, ok? You want to stick around or go home?”_

_“I probably shouldn’t ride home alone right now…”_

_“I could have someone take you home. I still have a few hours left and you need to get some rest.”_

_“Can I stay in your trailer?”_

_“Of course… Don’t go anywhere, ok?”_

_“Ok.”_

_\---------------------------_

_He cursed quietly to himself as they drove up to the house and he could see light on in the house. Cecilia was there. He had totally forgotten that she arrived the day before and was going to stay for at least the rest of the week._

_“Your girlfriend’s here.”_

_Jessie stated as she dismounted the bike in the garage and left the helmet behind._

_“Yeah…”_

_“Does she know we’ve been seeing each other?”_

_“I don’t know. I haven’t told here if that’s what you mean. But you need to get something to eat and then we’ll just sleep, ok?”_

_“Yeah…”_

_She was too drained both physical and mentally to argue with him and she didn’t even reflect when he took her by the hand and walked into the house, calling out the models name as he did. The brunette came around the corner and met them but came to a staggering halt when she laid her eyes on Jessie._

_“What the hell is she doing here?”_

_“She’s going to stay here for a few days.”_

_“No she’s not!”_

_“Yes she is…Why don’t you go and take a shower and I’ll get you something to eat, ok? Burger’s ok?”_

_“Sure.”_

_He pressed his lips to the side of her head before she walked off to the master bathroom to take a shower and hopefully clear her head a little. Without explanation, Norman walked past his girlfriend and headed straight into the kitchen and washed his hands before getting dinner starting._

_“What is she doing here?!”_

_“She needs me right now.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“She’s my best friend and she needs to be here right now. I need to take care of her.”_

_“What about me?! I need you to take care of me too!”_

_“When your entire family gets blown into tiny pieces, let me know, ok?!”_

_He snapped and continued without giving her any chance to replay._

_“Jessie is staying tonight and then we’re leaving tomorrow.”_

_“What do you mean, leave tomorrow?”_

_“We’re leaving tomorrow, Jessie and I. She need to get away and I’m going with her and make sure she’s alright.”_

_“Did it ever crossed your mind what I might think about all this?”_

_“Nope…”_

_“In what fucking universe would you think I would be ok with you going away alone with someone I caught you fucking just months ago?!”_

_“I didn’t think you’d be ok with it.”_

_“Good, cause I’m not!”_

_“I don’t care, Cecilia. You can get how mad you want but I’m still going to be by her side every step of the way. She’s been by my side for the past 8 years, it’s the least I can do for her. She needs me.”_

_“In what way? To fuck you?!”_

_“No! She’s a friend.”_

_“If you leave with her tomorrow, you and I are over!”_

_He considered her for a few seconds longer. She was standing on the other side of the counter and clutching the back of one of the chairs hard._

_“Alright. Go pack your bags.”_

_“Are you fucking serious?!”_

_“Yes.”_

_She actually seemed to be stomping her foot in anger and tears started to stream down her face before she turned and rushed up the stairs. He heard one of the door slam shout and he knew he ought to feel sorry but he didn’t. He felt relived. He had made the chose he should’ve made a long time ago. Jessie needed him and he needed her._

_He began to search her as he had finished dinner almost 20 minutes later and she still hadn’t come out of the shower._

_“Jess?”_

_He could hear the shower running through the closed door and he knocked once before walking inside. She was on the floor in the shower, under the hot stream of water, crawled up with her knees under her chin and her arms wrapped around herself._

_“Baby?”_

_She didn’t seem to notice him and he quickly began to strip down so he could make sure she was ok. He sat down beside her and wrapped on arm around her without speaking. It only took a few moments before she leaned into him and she let go of her own knees._

_“I love you, Jessie.”_

_Hearing his voice seemed to be doing the trick and he could see her relax further. He knew he gambled a little but rose to his feet and pulled her with him. She swayed a little but as he searched for her gaze, he found her looking straight back at him._

_“There you are… How are you, hon?”_

_“I’m falling apart here, Norman… I can’t… I’m going fucking crazy.”_

_“We’ll leave tomorrow morning, ok? Just go… I’ll be there, Jessie I promise. We’ll get through this together. Get on the bike and just ride. Is that what you want?”_

_She nodded._

_“I know I’m running and that it’s fucked up but I… I can’t deal with this. I miss them so fucking much.”_

_“I get it, baby you don’t have to explain to me, you know that. Whatever you need, J.”_

_“Right now I just need you to put your hands on me.”_

_He was able to interrupter the underlying words in her sentence. She just need some human contact right now, it wasn’t about sex, just to feel skin to skin and he grabbed her shoulders and made her turn around._

_“What does your girlfriend think about this?”_

_“I’m not sure she’s my girlfriend anymore but no matter what she is, I don’t care, Jess and neither should you. You’re family, she’s not.”_

_He began to wash her hair, massaging her scalp and temples as he did._

_“I’m sorry, Norman…”_

_“You could at least say it like you mean it.”_

_He chuckled by her weak attempt to pay her respects to his broken relationship._

_“I am sorry, Norman. I never wanted you to end things because of me.”_

_“Who the hell would I end it for, if not for you? It’s been on the horizon for a while now actually but she clings on so damn hard.”_

_“Did she leave?”_

_“No, she’s upstairs… You really scared Andy this morning. How fast were you actually going?”_

_“I’ve no idea. Maybe 90…”_

_“Don’t do it again…! I’m serious, J. You’re lucky you got away alive.”_

_“I just don’t know if I actually wants to live anymore…”_

_His hands froze on her hips_

_“I know it’s not fare and I’m sorry Norm but it’s… I just feel so empty.”_

_He forced her around and grabbed her head between both hands and kissed her until he felt her respond. Her hands got wrapped in his wet hair as she pulled him closer. When he broke the kiss minutes later, they were both panting._

_“How about now?”_

_“You mess me the fuck up, Norman Reedus.”_

_“Right back at you, Jessie Hamilton.”_

_“I don’t function right without you.”_

_“Is that your way of apologizing for fucking a random guy to piss me off back in February?”_

_“Maybe… If you’re still by my side in about a week, I might actually be able to really apologize for it.”_

_“I’m not going anywhere, Jessie. Nothing you do or say is going to scare me away.”_

_“Yeah, keep telling yourself that…”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_


	27. Surprises/Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so i did it again... ;) mananged to skip a chapter so I'm editing this one.... sorry for being so messy...

 Jessie came across an article online about her current boyfriend old girlfriends and sat staring at the brown-haired model’s face a little too long.

“How come you always date models?”

Norman had been half asleep when she spoke and she chuckled when he jumped a little in bed beside her.

“Huh?”

“Everyone on this list is a model.”

“What the hell are you talking about, J?”

He rolled over and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down from her sitting position against the headboard, making her drop her phone.

“Someone put together a list over all the girlfriends you’ve had over the years.”

“A little light bedtime reading?”

He lifted up her shirt enough to expose her round stomach and he pressed his lips gently to it.

“Helena. Jarah. Cecilia. They’re all models. Then there’s me…”

“So?”

“So I’m not.”

“So what’re you?”

“Professional dancer according to the article.”

“Thank God I finally found someone who ain’t taller than me.”

“I knew that always was your reason deep down.”

“Of course.”

His entire hand suddenly moved and he watched in fascination as her belly shifted right in front of his eyes. He heard her whines.

“He got hiccups.”

He could feel rhythmic movements began inside her. 

“Why are you so damn convinced it’s a boy?”

“I don’t know. Why are you not?”

“I guess I’m just kinda hoping you’re wrong. I don’t know… It just feels like it would be easier if it’s not a boy.”

“Maybe it would be easier if we just found out before?”

“I thought you didn’t want that?”

“Whatever make things easier for you, Jess, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I know but I want to be able to pull through this.”

“Stop being so damn headstrong! Do you want to find out the sex of our baby?”

“No. It won’t change things anyway.”

“If you would change your mind, let me know ok? Talk to me, Jessie.”

“You might have to remind me from time to time.”

“I will.”

“I’ve been thinking about names.”

“Yeah…? Wow, he…It, sorry, really has hiccups.”

He changed his mind midsentence and it made both of them laugh lightly.

“I want him or her to have a M name. You know, like his or hers big brother. I know they won’t really be siblings, growing up together but….”

“He’s super stoked about this, Jessie.”

“I know. He bought a pair of red Converse for the baby when I was with him in New York, did I tell you that?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He said the baby could sleep in his room if we wanted to be alone.”

“Oh, I will hold him to that, trust me…! A M name? Sure, sounds like a good plan. And Sam as a middle name.”

“Why?”

She lifted her head and looked down at him in surprise.

“Come on, J you know why. And Sam work with both a girl and a boy so… You always said I was the Sam to your Frodo and it’s kinda stuck with me.”

She blinked at him and swallowed back the tears that was about to escape her eyes. She wasn’t sure what or how to respond to his words but he simple smiled and let her know she didn’t need to say anything at the moment. 

 “About tomorrow, are you coming with me?”

“The ‘Make a Wish’ benefit ride? Do you want me to come with you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Let me guess? You don’t like the idea of me riding alone when there’s a lot of people, fans, around cause you think I might get hurt.”

“Yes!”

“Wow, you don’t even try to deny it anymore…?”

“What’s the point? You won’t listen to me either way.”

“Glad to hear you’ve learned something along the way. How about I don’t actually go along on the ride, just stay at the, where was it? The Harley shop in Atlanta?”              

“I’m not leaving you there all alone!”

“When have I ever been alone since I got back from L.A and New York? Tim is really good, babe but he does not possess the ability to become invisible. You really didn’t think I haven’t noticed he’s following me every time I leave the house? Stop being so worried.”

“It’s my job. I’ve some pretty big shoes to fill, seeing as you don’t have anyone else anymore. Someone has to worry about you.”

“You worry enough for all of them.”

She said, finally feeling herself dozing off as she kept twisting her fingers through his hair and feeling his light fingers caressing her belly.

“Go to sleep, baby girl.”

“Can you read to me? To us?”

He reached over to the nightstand and picked up _The Fellowship of the Ring_ he had started to read for her and their unborn child the week before. It wasn’t a book he would pick if he had the chose. He had protested against reading it on pure stubbornness because he knew it would piss her off but now there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. So he opened up the worn out book and continued to read from where he’d left of the night before.

“I love you, Mr. Reedus.”

“I love you, Mrs. Reedus. Sleep tight, sweetie.”

He had barley finished the page before she was asleep but he kept going until he could feel the movements inside her slow down and his own eyes began to droop.

                                              ------------------------------

She loved seeing him do what he did best; sharing his passion and love for bikes and the lifestyle around it, all mixed together with showing of his big heart and a willingness to spend time with fans and kids in particular.

The morning had been uneventful for her point of view. She had arrived before they were due to return and had been approached by people the moment she stepped out of the car. It really had gotten a lot harder to ride the bike since the baby had change position and her belly had gotten a lot bigger. She couldn’t really lean forward for that long anymore without fear of peeing herself as it somehow always seemed to put too much pressure on her bladder. So she drove most of the time nowadays and she hated it.

She was on the ground, sitting cross legged on the grass, with 3 kids and what probably was their parents around, eating lunch when he finally located her. He had left before she woke in the morning and really had to contain himself not to smoother her with hugs and kisses. He took a quick look around and found Tim lurking in the background and he gave the man a thankful nod when their eyes met for the shortest of seconds. He knew Jessie knew he was there but he didn’t need her to notice it any more than necessary. To his amusement and he knew it was deliberative, she wore Daryl Dixon’s poncho and a Team Dixon black hat on backwards.

He kept close to her even though he wasn’t always actually with her. They spent time with different kids and their families bur he made sure she always knew he was close by if she needed him. As afternoon began and he really started to feel the need for some along time, he had to drag her out of there.

_Babe get in the car and go home_

She sighed as the third text in less than 2 minutes came with the same request from Norman. He wanted to leave but she was having a hard time letting those incredible kids and their families go. She knew she probably should leave, she was getting emotional drained from all the terrible stories.

_Only if you go with me in the car as I’m sure you won’t take me on the bike with you_

_Not in a million years_

_Pussy_

_Fuck you_

_Maybe I really should_

_Shut the hell up and get in the damn car!_

_Are you going to be there?_

_Yes! Get in the car J!_

_Do you mind if I sign the hat and give to one of the kids?_

_Of course not I can get a new one for you_

_Thanx_

5 minutes later she climbed into the car and he was in the driver’s seat waiting for her.

“Glad to see you were having fun.”

“Weren’t you?”

“Of course. It just gets too much. Besides, I’d miss you, baby.”

He started to drive away at the same time as he reached over and grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles one by one.

“Hey, you’re not wearing your ring.”

“It wouldn’t fit this morning. My hands are swollen.”

“Sorry, love… At least you slept through the night.”

“How do you know? Didn’t you sleep?”

“I know because I didn’t wake up either. I wake up every time you wake up, Jess.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll make up for it when we’re home, promise.”

“I really love the sound of that, babe but we’re not going home.”

“No?”

“No.”

“Where’re we going?”

“We’ve a flight to catch. You’ll see.”

“Norman? Where’re we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“So we are not getting home tonight?”

“Nope. You won’t sleep in your own bed for the next two nights.”

“Do you expect me to walk around in the same cloths for 2 days?”

“Relax, baby. I packed the car before I left this morning. I think I got everything you need and maybe some other stuff too…”

“Your sneaky bastard!”

                                              ---------------------------------

Sea Island on the cost of Georgia was where they ended up after catching a private flight curtesy of Balthazar. He had protested loudly when the offer first came up but as his friend had simply said it was an early wedding present and pointed out that they needed all the quality time they could get their hands on before becoming parents, he had accepted his offer. And they really needed some serious alone time to just talk about everything that was going to happen the coming months. He knew that she knew that he was freaking out about the fact that the months just kept slipping through their fingers. She had no idea how bad it really was though. He was keeping track on how long they still had to go until she was due with an app on his phone and every day it got just a little bit closer and he would panicky for about 10 more seconds every day. She was already 21 weeks pregnant and they didn’t even know where the hell they were going to live when the baby was due. He had never been the organizing or planning type of guy but he had to step up and take care of her, take control of the situation. She should just sit back and relax and focusing on keeping herself and their unborn child safe and healthy. Everything else he could take care of.

“I love you, Balthazar Getty.”

She said to herself as she opened up a set of double doors and all she could see was a green lawn and beyond that the never ending Atlantic Ocean.

“I heard that!”

She chuckled to herself when Norman protested somewhere behind her. She headed straight out on the terrace with the incredible ocean view, not even bothering to look around the cottage first. She just wanted to smell the sea and feel the breeze on her face. He followed her outside and she spun around to face him when she heard him approach. She opened her mouth to say something but he grabbed her by the chin and kissed her. He could feel her confusion for about 2 seconds before she shook it off and seemed to decide to go along with his needs. Their hands fumbled under and inside clothes while kissing madly and he had thought he had had the upper hand but somehow he found himself being pushed down on one of the sunbeds. Before he could fully understand how it happened, she let her lips travel down his body.

“Wow, that is one incredible view.”

She looked back up at him, kissing her way down his left ribcage. She smiled as she dropped one hand to his crotch.

“Yeah, the ocean is pretty amazing.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

He placed a hand on the side of her face and she leaned in closer to his touched and kissed the palm of his hand.

“The view from here is pretty incredible too.”

She said before pulling away from his touch and continued kissing her way down his body. She heard him sigh deeply as she freed his erection from the last piece of clothing and her lips closed around the head of his dick. She lowered herself around him inch by inch until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She felt him jerk under her touch as she began to move her mouth and hands around him, fast and hard.

“Holly shit, baby…! Fuck, Jess!”

She let one of her hands dance over his chest and stomach, scratching him just hard enough not to leave marks but still to make him arch his back closer to her hand, begging her to keep going without actually saying the words.

“Jesus! Fuck, J you’re gonna make me cum!”

He had barley stopped talking before she felt him empty himself inside her still sucking mouth. The moment she tasted him though, her stomach gave a heave lurch and she ran up and puked on the green lawn only steps away from him.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry…!”

He shouted his apologizes at her as he realized what had just happened. 

“Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t swallow anymore.”

She gave a weak chuckle, bending over with her hands on her knees and looked back at him. He moved to a sitting position on the sunbed as she coughed and spit twice into the grass before turning back to him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

He reached out for her and took her hand.

“Don’t worry about it, baby, I’m fine.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

“You will, but I want food first. I’m hungry.”

“You honestly want food after that?”

“Yes! Told you I was fine. You know it’s not really the thing itself, I just got a more sensitive gag reflex right now.”

She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. He gathered all their scattered cloths quickly before they walked back inside the house.

“Don’t!”

“What?”

He spun around quickly, one arm through his shirt and his head halfway through it when she protested.

“Take your shirt off… Unless you’re really cold of course.”

Jessie was in only boxer shorts, the kind she usually wore when dancing and a tight fitted sports bra and he could feel himself getting warm in all kinds of spaces just by looking at her. She grinned when she saw his reaction.

“I guess you’re not…”

He tore the shirt away from himself once more and tossed it at her. She caught it, laughing at him before dropping it to the floor. He charged at her, catching her lips and forcing his hands inside her underwear.

“Hey, hey…Food?”

She asked as he bit down on her neck and grabbed his hips.

“No…!”

He protested, making her laugh once more and pull away.

“Yes, please.”

“Ever heard of multitasking?”

He asked and pulled her close once again and caught her lips, picking up his phone in the process.  

“You? Multitasking? When has that ever happened?”

“Now, baby you ought to be a little nicer to the men who’s about to bring you dinner and making you scream loud enough to wake the neighbors.”

His hands squeezed her ass hard, making her get up on her tiptoes and gasp into his mouth. She griped his biceps tightly when one hand traveled to her front and he pushed himself inside her and twisted his fingers upward and graced her g-spot.

Through her own little piece of heaven on earth, she picked up on him ordering take out from one of the close by resorts. All without missing a beat on his mission to bring her down on her knees and make her scream.      

“Dear God! Norman….!”

She found herself on her back on a couch, calling out his name, when the doorbell echoed through the house maybe 15 minutes later. Right on que, he slapped his tongue hard against her clitoris and rubbed three fingers against her sensitive walls and she fell over, screaming into the closest pillow she could find. Pleased with his accomplishment for the time being, he got to his feet and grabbed his walled on the way to the door.

“Your food’s he…”

The young man outside the door trailed off when Norman opened the door, only wearing underwear and not able to hid his painfully hard erection. Quickly he grabbed the 2 bags of food and gave the man too much money.

“Thanks. Have a good night.”

He said quickly and closed the door in the stunned man’s face before hurrying back to his waiting girlfriend. She was still on the couch, the pillow still in her arms, resting against her heaving chest instead of her face.

“Now how’s that for multitasking?”

He asked as he put the food on the table and went into the kitchen to search for plats and silverware. She had a huge grin on her face when he returned and she sat up.

“Very impressive, Mr. Reedus. All this in less than 20 minutes. Can we sit outside?”

“Sure. you might want to put some underwear on though.”

“Where did you put our bags?”

“Eh…”

He turned and started to look around.

“Norm?”

“I’m not sure…”

She amused herself by sitting back in the couch and watch him run around the entire house looking for the luggage. And it was a 2 level house with 4 bed and 5 baths. He halted in front of her after almost 10 minutes of running all over the place and cursed to himself.

“What’s so fucking funny?”

She stood and walked up to him, placed a hand on his heaving stomach and kissed his nose.

“The bags are still in the rental car, babe.”

“Oh…”

He relaxed under her touch.

“Oh, your evil little bitch! You knew all along and you never said anything?! You’re dead! So fucking dead, J!”

She had started to back away from him, smirking as she did.

“Are you getting old, Norman? Forgetting things?”

“Shut your mouth.”

“Or what? What are you going to do, Norman?”

She asked, her voice playful and teasing. He took a few steps towards her, she stepped the other way. The circulated around the couch once and she stood with her back against the open backdoors as he halted. He leaped over the couch, true Daryl Dixon style, stalking his prey. He had grabbed her within seconds, holding her back tightly pressed against him.

“How about a swim?”

She didn’t even have time to protest before he had grabbed her and thrown them both into the pool just outside the door.

_He’s spoiling me_

Jessie tweeted a picture of their dinner as they were finally able to sit down and eat. The sun was setting and it was almost a too picture perfect moment. The sky was painted in red and orange and the air was still warm. There was enough food on the table in front of them to feed them 3 times over and she was sitting across from the most beautiful man on the planet. He was shirtless and his wet hair a perfect tangled mess around his face.

“I love you.”

He stopped chewing his food and looked over at her when she spoke.

“I love you too.”

He reached out and took her hand for a second. She put her feet up on the chair in front of her and placed her plate of food on top of her bump. He chuckled and snapped a picture of her.

“That’s the cutest thing I ever saw…I’m sending this to Mingus.”

“Why are we here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean why do I get the feeling you are doing this for a special reason.”

“We need to find some time to talk, Jessie.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get some quality time alone in the process.”

“Not at all. This was a great idea, thank you… So where the hell do we start?”

“I’ve no idea.”

He confessed, making both of them snigger lightly.

“How about the most important thing first?”

“Which is?”

She asked without stopping to eat.

“Where are we going to live after we end production in November? Are we staying in Georgia? Is that what you want? Or are we going back to New York?”

“It’s not just about what I want, Norman. What do you want? What does Mingus want?”

“But I’m asking, J. What do you want?”

“I want to go back to New York, stay over Christmas and New Years and maybe celebrate our birthdays with your family and….”

“And then?”

“And then I want to go back to Georgia. I know it’s a lot to ask and we really need to talk this through and think about all the options but you asked what I really want and that’s it. I’m not sure I want to raise another kid in New York.”

“I can understand that and I pretty much already counted on this but… I’ve to work it out with Helena and Mingus if we’re going to stay in Georgia permanently. Mingus is on his senior year and he’s been talking about taking some time off before heading for College                      but he can’t keep flying back and forth.”

“I’m not suggesting he does and I’m not asking you to leave New York. I’m saying I want to leave New York.”

“Jessie… What the hell are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m not going to ask you to leave New York or your son for me, I could never do that, you know that.”

“Stop talking! What the hell, Jess? I’m not leaving you! Forget it! I’m not living in New York while you live down here alone….! It’s not going to happen.”

“But…”

“No fucking buts!”

“But what about Mingus?”

“The damn plane goes both ways, J. I can fly back to New York whenever I’ve my weeks with Mingus and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind flying down to live with us whenever he can either. I’ll talk to him and Helena, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Could I add something though?”

“Of course.”

“Would it be too much to ask if we stayed in New York until the baby’s born? For Mingus sake, he’s been…”

“Yeah, I know, he’s been on to me about it too.”

“And?”

“And I just don’t want to give birth at the same hospital as Jacob. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle all those memories on a day like that.”

“Of course. We’ll find somewhere else.”

“I want to do it at home.”

“Sorry?”

He dropped his fork onto his plate when she spoke.

“Yeah, just the two of us and a midwife at your apartment in New York. And maybe Mingus if he’s up for it… I just need it to be anything else than what it was with Jacob, you know?”

“What was it like with Jacob?”

“The sterile hospital bed, walking the fucking room for hours, breathing the gas that made me puke all over the place, it was… I just don’t want the same thing again. Walking those fucking rooms, in those hallways that look the same wherever the hell you are. And having some stranger take him away the moment he’s out… I just don’t want to be reminded about that day, cause I’ve no idea how the hell I’m going to react to it. It might be fine, I’ve no idea but what if it’s not fine? I’m scare shitless, Norman, of how I might react getting birth again and the only thing I can control is where and with who.”

“Why have you waited this long to tell me this?”

“Cause I know it would freak you out.”

“It’s not going to make me freak out less cause you’re telling me this 4 months before you’re due! We need to prepare for this, do some research, find the right person to help you, the right place, go see an expert or something. I need to…”

She moved quickly and stood on front of him while he was still talking too fast for her to really understand everything he said. She grabbed him and made him look at her.

“Breath, Norman.”

“I’m breathing.”

“No, you’re hyperventilating soon enough. Take a deep breath.”

She forced herself onto his lap, straddling him. He looked at her for 5 full seconds before following her lead and took a deep breath in through his nose and out the mouth. 3 times they did the same thing.

“Better?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I’ve already started. With the research I mean. I’ll show you later.”

“Ok…. You’re fucking crazy, Jessie.”

“Well, if hadn’t been, we would never have gone this far.”

“True… So we’re going home to New York in November and stay until the baby is born and then we’ll go back to Georgia? Why the hell have we avoided talking about this if all it took was a 10-minute conversation?”

“Cause every time we end up have some time off together, we spend it having sex, cause it’s so much more fun than talking.”

She said, grinning against his neck when she leaned in and kiss him.

“I read somewhere that sex can make you go into early labor.”

“Don’t read so much. That’s not true.”

She kissed her way from his neck towards his lips before leaning back to look at him.

“No?”

“No. Not yet anyway. When I’m full term and the baby is already ready to be born, it might help the progress but not now, baby. Don’t worry about that. We’re not stopping having sex.”

“Just let me know if something happens. Promise me, babe.”

He grabbed her chin and stirred her lips to his and kissed her gently once. She nodded before getting up from his lap and returned to her plate of food.

“I promise.”

“Good… So what about the other thing?”

“What other thing?”

“The engagement? Kinda assumed the whole point in asking me to marry you was to actually get married, not just stay engaged for the rest of our lives.”

“Oh… I just… No, of course not. I…”

“If you don’t want to do it anymore it’s fin…”

“No! Stop…! It’s not that. I do want us to get married. But then this happened.”

She gestured to the growing life inside her.

“And everything else just… I do want to marry you, Norman. I just can’t think about that right now. Planning a wedding is not really the number one priority right now. Right?”

“I was just thinking we could head to Vegas…”

It was her time to drop her fork. She gaped at him without knowing what to say or if he even was serious about what he said.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’ve never wanted a huge wedding, with 200 guest in a church with a priest and cake and all that. It’s not me and it’s not you either so why make it such a big deal? What did you have in mind?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Come on, that’s bullshit. Before you asked me, you must have had some ideas about how you wanted it. Tell me.”

“Ok, fine… Yeah, of course I thought about it. And I figured since either of us really thought about ever getting married it would just be something simple. Not Vegas simple but, just small and intimate. Someplace that really meant something, like Bulgaria or Florida or just out on the porch back home in Georgia, with just the closest family and friends.”

“Who’s that?”

“Your mom, your siblings, Mingus and Helena, Sean, Andy and Gale, Maya, Greg and Alanna.”

“You would honestly invite Helena to our wedding?”

“Of course. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye but she’s the mother of your child and you’re close friends. She’s one of the reasons I’ve been given the chance to get to share 10 incredible years of my life with Mingus.”

“So let’s do that then. What’s special in Florida?”

“You know, it was the first place we went on vacation together. The three of us and it just… It meant a lot to me. Now. I know I probably didn’t tell you back then but it really did. It felt like I had family again after that. And you’re still here so…”

“There’s nowhere else I want to be, baby… Don’t freak out now, ok? But maybe we should do it before the baby comes?”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

“What are you talking about, Norm? Why would you do…? That’s just crazy. I asked you to marry me remember?”

“I know, that’s what Andy said too but… I know it’s probably silly, ok? But I… I just want you to be mine, you know, an us for real, before we begin to share our lives with a third little person. I know it’s not rational or fare to you but some small part of me still waits for you to bolt out the door.”

“It’s not going to make me freak out less cause you’re telling me this 4 months before I’m due,”

She used the same words he had spoken just minutes before and although she tried to keep a straight face, she failed after only a second and started to giggle. He glared at first but couldn’t compose himself for long either and followed into her laughter.

“October 14th? Back home?”

“That’s in 3 weeks, Norman.”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, you really do want us to get married, do you?”

“Yes! I want you to be mine, woman!”

He stood suddenly and grabbed her face and kissed her hard enough for her to gasp for air when he pulled away.

“Ok. October 14th it is. And we can just jam Sean’s and Mingus’s birthdays into it too. And just so you know… I’ve been yours since the first day we met. My heart has been anyway, you just had to win over my brain too.”

“Good thing I’m so damn persistent…We’re getting married!”

He attacked her again, kissing her all over her face while he repeated how much he loved her over and over again. She finally made him shut up when she grabbed him by the hair and kissed his lips, biting his lower lip as she did.

“I love you too, Mr. Reedus… Can I please just get to eat now?”

He glanced down on her plate and realized she had barley had time to eat anything yet. He kissed her one final time before sitting back down.

“You can’t just agree to something like this and not expect me to go a little crazy.”

“I didn’t but I’m still hungry and so is the baby.”

“How about some multitasking, Miss Hamilton? Talking and eating too much for ya?”

“Shut the hell up.”

“And just so you know, you’re so going to change your last name. I’m claiming your ass big time, baby.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Jessie Reedus? Sure, I think I could live with that.”

                                              -------------------------- 

She couldn’t sleep through the night when he was beside her. So when he wasn’t home, she couldn’t’ sleep at all. She had gone to bed, thinking she was too tired to even notice but after just an hour or tossing and turning she gave up and left the bedroom again. He was at a concert in Atlanta with Greg, having a much needed guy’s night out. She crashed on the couch right after midnight and decided to give Sean a call.

“What are you doing up at this hour? Isn’t it like midnight in Georgia?”

“I can’t sleep. Norman’s not home.”

“Where is he?”

“At some concert in Atlanta.”

“Without you?”

“We really don’t share the same taste in music. Besides, he would never, ever, allow me to go to a concert with that much people.”

“True… How are you, baby girl?”

“Good, I’m good. I want to ask you something though.”

“Shoot.”

“Could you be by my side when we get married?”

“Of course, baby. I’ll be there, you already know that. I talked to Reedus last week, I’ve already got the tickets booked, hon.”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re going to be here. I meant… I want you to be the one walking beside me, you know as my best man.”

“Wow… Jess… I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to answer right now.”

“Honey, of course I’ll do it. I’d be honored… You’re gonna make me hold the flowers and shit too?”

“Of course.”

She stayed on the phone with Sean for so long she lost track of time. She had so much she wanted to talk to him about and he had so much to tell her. They hadn’t had the chance to talk to each other for a long time and once they did, time just fly by. She was in the middle of explaining about Norman’s last obsession, which was to find out everything there was to find about home birth, spending hour after hour doing research and watched too many YouTube videos, when the front door opened and Norman stumbled through it. She turned her head and heard him curse as he tripped probably over himself and ended up on the floor.

“I gotta go, I think my future husband has had too many drinks tonight.”

“Oh… Let’s hope it’s happy drunk Reedus and not pissed drunk Reedus you’ve got to handle then. I love you, babe. Call me whenever, hon.”

“I will. I love you too.”

She hung up and tossed the phone beside her on the couch before getting to her feet and walked up to the front door. He was lying on his back on the floor, his arms sticking out, making it look like he was hanging from a cross. She approached with caution, not sure what mood he would be in. Carefully she leaned forward to watch his face. His eyes were closed at first but only a second later he snapped them open and spotted her.

“I love you so fucking much, Mrs. Reedus.”

He grabbed her arm and pulled her down on top of him and kissed her hard without being able to stop the laughter that escaped his lips at the same time.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“I’m walking on fucking clouds right now, babe.”

“Any special reason?”

He grabbed her waist and spun them around, grinning from ear to ear and kept kissing her.

“You missed out, babe. I was a rockstar tonight.”

She stroke the hair away from his face and felt her entire body get all warm when she saw his entire face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. She ignored the smell of alcohol on his breath and focused on his sparkling eyes. He kissed her hard again before bouncing to his feet and pulled her into his arms.

“Dance with me.”

They ended up by the back windows and he took up his phone and opened up Spotify.

“Justin Bieber? Really, baby?”

He most has found the last song she listened to and she rolled her eyes at him as he had a bad habit of always using her Spotify account.  

“Hey, I shut up about your taste in music.”

“Boyband’s one thing, babe but this…? He’s what, 12?”

“Where the hell have you been hiding the last decade? Put on the damn song!”

“You listen to this?”

“I listen to the lyrics. You know sometimes you need the music and sometimes you just need the lyrics. Tonight I needed the lyrics.”

“Ah, were you lonely?”

“Yes!”

“Sorry, baby girl…Come here.”

He put the phone away after pushing play and hugged her to him as close as he possible could before swiping her away across the living room floor.

“Ok, I can understand why you listen to this song…”

She took him by surprise when the song ended and they stopped moving. She never would’ve thought he actually listen to the lyrics.  

“You’re the reason I wake up every morning, Norman. I know I suck at this, I’m shitty at letting you know how much you mean to me and I’m trying to find something that would make sense when we get married and…There’s just not enough words.”

“And here I was thinking this day… well, night, couldn’t end any better?”

“I could think of a thing or two that would make it even better.”

“I’m all yours, J.”

**Chapter 27 – Celebration**

“We’re having a bachelorette party!”

Jessie came out from Norman’s trailer and was at once attacked my Alanna. She backed into Norman, a little shocked by the sudden appearance of the younger woman. Norman caught her but pushed her forward to their waiting friend. Jessie’s first thought was to protest but Alanna saw it before she managed to get something out.

“No, no, no! You’re not slipping out of this one, Jess.”

When the younger woman gave her another minute to think it over, she found that she actually liked the idea.

“Fine.”

She finally said and Alanna began to skip up and down, clapping her hands together.

“Nothing fancy and big though.”

“Of course not. We’re having dinner at my place.”

“Who?”

“You, me, Melissa, Christina, Gale, Sonequa, Lauren, Danai and Maya.”

“Maya’s here?!”

“She’s preparing some things.”

“Did you know about this?”

She spun around and tried to give Norman the evil eye but he had such a beautiful smile on his face, she forgot all about trying to look pissed and she attacked him just as he opened his mouth to confess that he did indeed knew about the girls’ plans.

Jessie was forced away from her boyfriend a lot earlier then she would’ve liked by Alanna pulling at her shoulder.

“Come on now, we gotta go. We’ve a lot of plans for ya tonight, Jessie.”

Jessie groaned a little frustrated and grabbed Norman’s hand as Alanna started to tug her away towards her parked car.

“I’m a little afraid now.”

“You should be, babe. See you tonight. Maybe.”

“Aren’t we going to New York tomorrow?”

“Late tomorrow yes, you’ll have plenty of time. Go on, baby. Have fun. I’ll see you when I see you.”

Jessie whimpered quietly as Norman helped her inside Alanna’s car and closed the door after kissing her lightly on the forehead.

Alanna was a master when it came to lifting her spirits. She had always had the ability to get Jessie in a better mood and that afternoon was no exception. As they arrived at Alanna’s Atlanta home, Jessie was looking forward to a girl’s night and was really thankful she had friends that cared about her and wanted to celebrate with her.

The one she was most excited to see though was Maya. She hadn’t seen her best friend from New York for months. When she had been back with Mingus the month before, Maya had been out of town. It seemed they always kept passing each other and she was so thankful she was finally there and so grateful to probably Alanna that had thought of asking Maya to join them. She even began to cry once the red-haired and blue-eyed woman came running at her the moment she stepped inside the house and they embraced each other.

Everyone was in such a good mood that night that Jessie didn’t even think about that fact that she usually didn’t spend that much time with the majority of the woman around her. She would call them all friends but Alanna and Maya where the only once there who was actually invited to the wedding in just a week’s time. She was chatting with everyone and the laughter and loud conversations around the dinner table just escalated as the night progressed.

Alanna had to shout twice to make everyone shut up as they had started desert.

“I thought we’d play a game.”

Everyone turned to look at Jessie the moment Alanna spoke and she froze at once with her fork raised halfway to her mouth.

“What kinda game?”

She asked, nervous but excited.

“I spent some time with your future husband and asked some questions about your relationship and you in general really and I want to know if you know each other as well as you think you do, if you actually answered the same thing. I will record your answer’s too and we’ll compere them on your wedding day.”  

“Shit… Ok… Fuck, he doesn’t even know himself sometimes, but sure, it should be fun.”

“That’s actually very true. Ready?”

“Shoot.”

“Where and when did you first met?”

“August 14th 2006 at a penthouse in Manhattan, we were both there to celebrate a friend of a friend’s birthday.”   

“What was he wearing that night?”

“Ah…. He will never remember that. I think it was grey shirt and black jeans. I know he had left the top bottoms open, cause I remember those damn collarbones.”

“So grey shirt and black jeans?”

“Yes. And a pair of Ray Bans.”

“What was the first words you said to him?”

“So the misfit’s end’s up on the balcony.”

“Sorry?”

The laughing question came from most of the woman around as Jessie spoke. She giggled too and ate some more desert before explaining.

“He didn’t want to be there any more than I did so when he walked out on the balcony I followed him and we got talking. But yeah, that was the first thing I said to him.”

“Where and when did you have sex for the first time?”

“About 5 minutes after that first conversation, in the elevator leaving the party.”

“How about the second time?”

“Maybe 15 minutes after the first time, on the hallway floor in my apartment.”

“Damn, girl! How the hell did you managed that? I’m lucky if it works out twice a night. Twice in 20 minutes? That’s… Quite impressive.”

Jessie looked over at Sonequa and grinned hugely at her.

“Twice in 20 minutes isn’t even the record.”

She said, sniggering and a hysterical fit of laughter broke out around the table.

“What is the record?”

“You gotta give me some restriction, Lauren if you actually want me to answer that.”

“In an hour?”

“Seven.”

“In one fucking hour?! You gotta be kidding me? What the hell is wrong with you? That’s not… That’s not even possible.”

“It is if you’ve spent two months apart. He gets going pretty damn easy so I really don’t even have to work that hard.”

“Still… Damn, that’s just… How the hell do you get through it?”

“I don’t… Especially since I usually hit double digits when he gets going.”

“What’s your record then? In an hour?”

“Holly shit, Alanna I’ve no idea… Probably around 15,16.”

“16 orgasm’s in one hour?!”

The shocked question came from several places around the table at the same time.

“Yeah but some are multiply, like one after the other. But I tell ya, you don’t feel human after an hour like that. You’re just a fucking boneless, wet mess. And it’s the best feelings in the world. Although I need like 2 days to just recover but it’s fucking worth every second.”

“The next question is almost unnecessary, cause I already think all of has figured out the answer already. What body part is your favorite?”

“It’s a close call between his dick and tongue actually but I think I’m gonna go with the first actually.”

“It is quite impressive.”

Jessie almost toppled over backwards in her chair when Lauren spoke from across the table and she saw the shock on Maya’s face. She laughed so hard her stomached hurt and she wasn’t the only one. Alanna and Gale had tears in her eyes when Jessie finally found her voice again.

“You don’t have to look so shocked, Maya, it’s not as bad as it sounds. As far as I know anyway.”

“God no! No, I’ve not had sex with Norman. He just doesn’t really care who sees him or when. He seems to like being naked and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in seeing him naked at least once.”

An agreeing murmur could be heard around the table.

“Would you like to give a kid friends answer to that last question?”

“God yes, if you’re going to go through these questions on the wedding, yes I do. And it would be his eyes. It’s gotta count as a body part, right?”

“Of course. Name one thing that he’s really embarrassed about, something he’s done or said.”

“He knows more Backstreet Boys songs by heart than he’ll ever admit. And he’s been to more than one concert.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’ve got prof. August 2008, December 2009, June 2011 and December 2013.”

“He has always loved you, hasn’t he? I mean even when you guys weren’t dating.”

Jessie gave Dania a small smile and nodded a little.

“Yeah, I guess he has. He has always been too good to me.”

“We all heard about his rockstar moment last night. He must have been one happy guy last night.”

“He sure was. He even danced with me, freely, so yes he was pretty damn happy last night.”

“I gotta ask, Jess I’m sorry but what… What about Sean?”

“What about him, Gale?”

“Did you ever… Did you ever… fool around with Sean? I mean before things got serious with Norman.”

“Fool around…? What makes you say that?”

“Come on, Jess. I know I would’ve if I got the chance. He’s one handsome man and the few times I’ve seen the two of you together, you can’t seem to keep your hands off each other.”

“I love Sean, he’s like a big brother. But… Yes. Yes, I’ve “fooled” around with Sean. Not alone though.”

An audible oh went around the table, begging for more details without really asking.

“There’s been a few…. Threesomes with Sean. The reason I struck up a conversation with Norman in the first place was because of Murphy McManus and Boondock Saints so when I finally got to meet Sean it was…I had already talked to Norman about it before it happened so he knew about that particular wet dream. And neither of them was that hard to convince to be honest.”

“Isn’t he married?”

“Yeah but… His wife knows and she might… She might have joined in once or twice.”

“Jesus Christ, Jess. Has your sex life always been this insane?”

“Pretty much… I mean, when we first met it was all about the sex. I used it as an excuse to just feel something and he was very willing to say the least.”

“Not for long though, right? Rumor has it was pretty quick with expressing his feelings for you.”

Jessie looked over at Gale and wondered for a moment how the woman could possible know that but figured Andy might have talked to his wife about it. She nodded once at the woman.

“It took 6 months, yes.”

“Before what?”

“Before he told me he loved me.”

“Yeah, he sure has a lot of love.”

“Yes he does.”

“But there’s gotta be something you don’t really like about him. Something that bugs you.”

“You mean besides that he drives me absolute insane right now with being so damn overprotected and worried all the time…? He has a very bad habit of biting his nails when he’s nervous. And he he’s a terrible liar, which really is a bad thing when you want to keep a secret.”

“He kept you secret for a pretty long time.”

“To the outside world maybe but he sucks at lying to you, friends and family. I mean Andy knew I was pregnant before pretty much anyone else, right?”

“Everyone knew you were pregnant before you knew, Jessie.”

Danai said, smiling at her.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Do you honestly don’t know if it’s a boy or girl?”

“Honestly, Melissa, no and we’re not going to find out. It’s going to be a surprise.”

“What’s your favorite tattoo?”

“The X tattoo on his collarbone.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“What did you think it would be?”

She asked Alanna.

“The Norman tattoo on his chest. Why the X tattoo?”

“Cause I did it.”

“You tattooed him?”

“Yeah.”

Jessie was kept entertained until the early hours of the morning with more questions and other games that Alanna had come up with. She stepped out of the cab 3:30 in the morning, aching all over for all the laughing. She thanked the cabdriver before turning to make her way towards the front door. Norman was on the front steps, smoking and she halted when she spotted him.

“What’re you doing out here?”

“Waiting for you.”

He put out the cigarette as she came to join him. She leaned her head against his shoulder and they simply sat there in the darkness as the automatic light over the front door finally went out.

“I really gotta stop smoking.”

She said nothing, only lifted her head slightly off of his shoulder and glanced up at him. She had never and would never ask him to quit although both of them knew she actually wanted him to. She knew, if the words came from her, he would get all defensive and not do it simply because she asked.

“I love you.”

She said and got to her feet, stroking his face with light fingers.

“I love you too. I’ll be right in.”

“Ok.”

She brushed the top of his head and headed inside and straight to the bedroom. She was asleep when he came to join her 10 minutes later, leaving the last pack of smokes he had untouched.


	28. the wedding

**Chapter 28 – The wedding**

He was going to be a married man in less then 6 hours and he was freaking out. He was pacing the living room floor, not really knowing what the hell he was supposed to do with himself. Andy was on the couch, waiting him out. He had left home already 2 hours earlier and headed to Andy’s while their house was being transformed into a place fit for a wedding.

“I can’t believe we’re fucking doing this, man. It’s fucking crazy. Why the hell did I suggest we’d it this early? We haven’t had time… I don’t know what the fuck to say, Andy. What the hell do you say? What the fuck do you do?”

“Norman, stop walking for a second.”

Andy knew the request was pointless. Norman did indeed just turn and looked at him before starting walking again.

“Why don’t we go for a run?”

Andy got to his feet at the same time as the brilliant idea came out of his mouth. He needed to burn off some energy and Andy offered a way to do that. He saw Norman stop and nod his head quickly and not even 5 minutes later they had changed and headed out on the closest trail. Andy tried his best to keep the same pace as his best friend but gave up after a while and watched as Norman disappeared from sight.

After a couple of miles Andy finally caught up with him again. He staggered to a halt when he heard a loud grunt by the side of the trail and he looked around the tightly spaced trees and vegetation.

“Norm?”

He received another grunt as a response and Andy stepped away from the trail. He found Norman only feet from where he stopped, sprawled on the ground, stains of what Andy quickly figured was vomit on his shirt. Suddenly he threw his head to one side and retching noises left him once more but nothing came up this time around.

“Well, damn that was my entire breakfast….”

He said weakly and tried to chuckle but it came out more as a cough and he laid his head back down on the ground and closed his eyes. Andy sank down on the ground with his back to a tree and patted his friends knee.

“You’ll be alright.”

“Yeah…”

“You can change your mind, you know. You don’t have to do this now, you can wait.”

“I don’t want to wait. I just didn’t think I’d be this nervous. Were you?”

“Nervous? Of course. It’s sort of a part of the whole thing. You should be nervous getting married, Norman.”

He opened his eyes at the same time as a few ray of sunshine found its way through the treetops and hit him right in the face. It was a perfect early autumn day with blue skies and the sun shining. Andy heard him take a few deep breaths.

“I’m getting married today, Andy. I’m gonna marry Jessie.”

“Yes you are.”

“It’s fucking insane, man!”

“Yes it is. I would’ve thought you’d kill each other by now.”

Andy tried to light up the mood and joke and thankfully Norman burst out laughing and he lifted his head a little and looked at him.

“Yeah, me too… I love you, dude.”

“I love you too, Norm. Come on now, let’s get you back and cleaned up.”

“Sorry I puked all over your cloths.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’d have a washing machine.”

                                              -------------------------------

If Sean and Maya hadn’t been there she would’ve turned and ran the other direction when she took the final step down the stairs. She had been banished from the entire downstairs since morning and had spent hours on the upstairs landing only. The hair had taken the longest as 10 Cherokee roses was going to be part of her hair style. She had had 2 requests when it came to how she wanted to look. The roses were of course a tribute to her husband to be as well as the actual state of Georgia. And the dress she wore was going to have an open back for the simple reason of wanting to keep her son and the rest of her family close. Showing the tattoo at the small of her back was only one way of doing this and the other was to wear jewelry her mother and sister had once worn.

As her bare feet touched down on the first floor and she was only minutes away from actually getting married, the panic hit her with full force. But Sean was there, holding her hand and Maya was there too and she only had to look at them to find her calm again.

“Jessie?”

She felt Sean’s light finger under her chin and she turned to look at him.

“You’ll be fine, baby girl.”

“Ok… I love you, Sean. I love you, Maya. Thank you for being here.”

“Of course, Jess You’re so beautiful, honey.”

“So are you, Maya.”

The two women embraced each other and Jessie had to force back the tears. She knew she would be crying soon enough anyway but it would be a shame to ruin her make up before she even stood beside Norman. The baby probably did a somersault or something inside her, because as she looked down, her entire bump suddenly moved under the white tulle fabric. The dress she wore was quite simple with a flowery design. It was sleeveless and just the right length to hide her naked feet.

She could hear people talking and laughing quietly out on the porch where the whole thing was going to take place. Sean’s hand was on hers all of a sudden and he tugged gently to make her start moving. She lifted her head from the bump and found Maya in front of her, looking at her. She nodded when Jessie looked back at her. Quickly she reached out a hand and caressed Jessie’s face.

“Your family would be so proud of you.”

She said before turning and walking ahead of the other two. Jessie closed her eyes for a second before squeezing Sean’s hand hard and followed Maya. She saw at the corner of her eye that the entire living room was changed. The celling was overflowing with balloons and a beautiful set table with flowers and candles was set up in the middle of the newly created open space. But she couldn’t focus enough on this part of the day yet. Right now she had to focus on staying on her feet and keep walking. Norman was waiting for her. She could never have imagined she would be this nervous. Her heart was racing and she felt the need to just puke. She was aware of the gasps and ahs when she stepped outside into the warm autumn evening but the second she laid eyes on him, she tuned out everything and everyone else. He was wearing an open tuxedo jacket with a white shirt and a black bowtie and black pants. His hair was done to perfection but she just wanted to run her hands through it and mess it up. She saw Sean turn to look at her as she let out a small chuckle as the thought crossed her mind.

He heard himself gasp outload with pretty much everyone else gathered on the porch as she stepped out with Sean after Maya. He had been left out on everything when it came to what she was going to wear and when he saw her, he wished he would’ve gotten at least a little bit of a hint, because he felt himself gape at the beautiful creature walking towards him. He couldn’t find his own voice and his brain felt like Jell-O. Then she suddenly smiled, chuckled even and he felt like he fell headfirst down on the wooden floor under his feet. Andy’s hand was suddenly on his back and the simple touched reminded him that he needed to breath.

“Congratulations, Reedus.”

Then Sean was there and hugged him tightly before turning to kiss Jessie’s forehead and walked back a few steps to the rest of the guest that closed in around them. She reached out and grabbed both his hands in hers and he was thankful she did. He wasn’t sure he would be able to keep standing if she didn’t hold on to him and he was pretty sure it was the same thing the other way around. Maya’s father had been the one marrying her parents and when she had asked him to marry her and Norman as well, the 65-year-old retired pastor had broken down in tears. When she saw him now standing in front of them with her closest friends and family behind her, she teared up just by seeing the tears in his eyes.

“25 years ago I had the privilege of wedding your parents, Jessie and I remember you and your sister running around City Hall in New York super excited while we waited. And I remember you and Jenny talking about what it was going to be like once you got old enough to get married and start a family on your own. Jenny had it all mapped out, she was going to be 22 and get married on the beach and have 3 kids and live in the Hamptons. You on the other hand, the rebel, independent little girl, wasn’t even sure you wanted a boyfriend at all, ever. You knew how to take care of yourself but then Josh came along and fate intervened in your plans. Jacob was the pride and joy of your family, a truly blessed and loved, happy little kid and it’s not my intent to stand here and make you cry on your wedding day but I know he’s here today. They all are, Jessie, watching over you and I know they’re beyond proud over how far you’ve come. I never knew Josh that well but I’m pretty sure he would approve your choice in man and be happy for you. If not, your father would kick his ass and he would be happy for you anyway.”

Jessie laughed through her tears as the last statement from the older man sent her back to the first time Josh had met her parents. Her father had integrated him, true FBI style for 45 minutes.

“Thank you, Mr. Mason.”

“I’m gonna shut up now and let you do the talking. Jessie, would you like to start?”

She turned her head and closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again she found herself staring into the most beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen. It didn’t matter that they were glassy with tears, he was still beautiful and she felt the same calm as she always felt when she was close to him, spread through her. This was why she was standing here right now. He calmed the chaos inside her and he had saved her life more times then she could count.

“You’re the family I never thought I would find again and I love you more then I will ever be able to tell you but I’ll start with this… I need you. Like I needed you then. When I feel like giving up, I climb inside your heart and still find you’re my safest place to hide. You understand me like nobody can. You cured me from dying and I know with you, I keep on living. And the crazy thing is, despite every fucked up thing I’ve done and said, you’re still here. Your feet stuck to the ground and I know it’s going to be ok. When this whole world gets too crazy and there’s nowhere left to run, I know you’ll give me sanctuary. You’re the only truth I know. You’re the road back home. You’re the Sam to my Frodo and I’ll love you until my days on this planet is up, Norman Mark Reedus and probably even after that.”

She gave up trying to hide her crying already before she began to speak. She wasn’t going to get through this without shading enough tears to fill the pool behind her. He blinked his own tears out of his eyes when she fell silent. It was completely silent for about 5 seconds before he grabbed her face gently and kissed her. He knew it really was against the rules but they had never followed any rules anyway so why start now? He whispered a quiet ‘I love you’ against her lips before pulling away.

“Sorry…”

He apologized to the Mr. Mason as he glanced over at him. The man smiled and shook his head.

“Jessie has never been one to follow the rules so I’m not surprised the one she has chosen to spend her life with, isn’t either. This is your wedding, not mine, Mr. Reedus. Would you like to continue?”

“Yeah… I just… What the hell can I say after that? The really messed up thing is that I knew every word to those lyrics you just used and I even sang along with the damn song in my head. But that’s the thing, I don’t have to pretend to be someone else with you. I never have. You saw right through me from the first time. You know me better then I know myself. When I tried to come up with the right thing to say in a situation like this, there was one word that kept circulating in my head; family. I know I can never replace your family, I’ve never tried to and when you came storming into my life like a damn hurricane, you were a heart without a home. You always accused me of trying to be your knight in shinny armor, coming to rescue you, remember that?”

Jessie sniggered a little and looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes.         

“The thing is that you’ve rescued me just as many times as I’ve tried to rescue you. The two misfits, right? I know I was a pain in the ass in the beginning, wanting so much more so must faster then you. But you became such a big part my… our life’s so quickly and I remember the first time I found your toothbrush in my bathroom and then it was suddenly cloths everywhere and your laptop and books and God’s know what. And I couldn’t imagine my life without you and I still can’t. You’ve been part my family since probably the first day we met and I know I’m finally a part of your family too. And there’s no words big enough for how grateful I’m to your parents for bringing you into this world. I know they’re not here in physical form but I promise to keep your safe for as long as I live. Cause with you I’m in my fucking mind, without you, I’m out it. I fall in love you every single day and the best thing is that I know you will still love me the same.”

 “Well, you guys really know how to make people cry “

Mr. Mason spoke at the same time as he took of his glasses and wiped his eyes with the tips of his fingers. Jessie took one step forward when Norman fell silent and hugged his waist as he kissed her head. She placed her head on his chest and tilted her head to one side to be able to glance at the 10 guests that stood close by in a semicircle. There wasn’t a dry eye as far as she could see.

“The rings Mr. Flanery if you please.”

Jessie accepted the newly engraved ring with today’s date and the word _forever_ from her best man and put it on Norman’s finger. He did the same to her and before Mr. Mason had time to finish the words, they launched at each other and started a passionate make out session.

“You may kiss your bride, Mr. Reedus.”

Applauses and cheers burst out loudly all around and she started to cry for a whole other reason then simply being emotional. It was pure tears of joy and happiness that rolled down her face and she could feel the wetness on Norman’s face as well.

“I love you.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He managed to lift her off of her feet and spun her around in a tight embrace.

“I love you too.”

He said and put her back down on the ground with a final kiss.       

“Thank you so much for doing this, Mr. Mason. It meant a lot.”

“Of course, Jessie it was an honor. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Mason.”

“Of course, Mr. Reedus. You’re one lucky man, I hope you know that.”

The older man took Norman’s hand with both of his and held it tightly, as to make sure he really was paying attention to what he was saying.

“Yes, I know.”

“Take good care of her.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“You already are.”

Jessie said and hugged her husband’s side. Then everyone else behind them started to move as well and they were hugged and kissed by their family and friends for what seemed like hours. Andy caught her twice, hugging her so hard her feet left the ground.

They stood and gaped at the living room layout for a long time as they finally moved inside to have dinner. Maya had been in charged for the decorations and although Jessie had given her completely free reins, she had followed the theme of Jessie’s dress and hair. The decorations went in white and green and the table, big enough to fit them all, was laden with a white linen clot and light green china. Cherokee roses were decorating the middle of the table along with small framed pictures of the two of them. The balloons in the celling was all white and green as well and the TV showed a mixture of videos and pictures. As they stood there, looking at the beautiful arrangement, Jessie saw herself dancing on the TV screen.

“Maya, you’re a fucking genius. This is perfect.”

“Thank you, Norman. I’m glad you like it.”

“It’s so beautiful, thank you, Maya. I understand now why you wanted me to send you all the pictures I could find.”

“Yeah and thank for keeping to the clean cut pictures.”

Maya nudged her friend in the ribs and both Jessie and Norman turned and grinned at her at the same time. Seconds later, Maya guided the couple to the head of the table. Mingus was seated next to her and he leaned over the moment she sat down and kissed her lightly on the check. She smiled at the teenager and placed her hand on his face.

“Excuse me everyone.”

Maya called for attention when everyone had found their seat and everyone turned to her where she stood beside Jessie.

“I’m going to keep this short because I know you’re starving, Jess… The food is in the kitchen so everyone just collect your plats and grab whatever you like to eat. There’s hopefully something for everyone. And if anyone would like to make a speech, just shout out. There’s no rules, just have fun and enjoy yourselves. Does everyone have anything to drink?”

An agreeable murmur went through the table.

“Good. Let’s have a toast then. Congratulations, you two. I always knew you would end up here, although it took one hell of a long time to get here.”

Maya winked at Jessie over the top of her glass of champagne.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“And it’s all your fault.”

Norman added with a smiled and kissed her check as everyone around them raised their glasses to them with a loud congratulation. The dinner proceeded with lots of chatting and laughing among all the guests and once Jessie had finally got some food into her system, she began to really enjoy herself and everyone around her. Both Norman’s mother and sister made short but emotional speeches, making both of them cry even more tears.

As Jessie came back to the table with her 3rd plate of food, Alanna finally got to her feet and Jessie tensed at once as the younger woman pinned her down with an evil little smile on her face.

“I told you weren’t getting away from this.”

“Just get it over with, Al.”

Jessie said, trying to sound annoyed but she was really looking forward to getting to know the answers to all the questions from the bachelorette party. She kept eating while Alanna explained to everyone else what they had done the week before at the party.

“And remember that I wrote down both of your answers so there no use in cheating because I will know if you’ve talked to each other. There’s no changing the answer. Answer this at the same time please. When and where did you first met?”

“August 14th 2006 in New York.”

They said together.

“Good. Norm, what was Jessie wearing that night?”

“A green sleeveless dress and high, black heels.”

“Wow, you actually remember that?”

“You made quite the impression on me, you know.”

“What about Norma then, Jess? What was he wearing?”

“A grey shirt and a black jeans and a pair of Ray Bans.”

“Norm?”

“I’ve no idea, it might have been.”

“Good thing I found proof then.”

Maya said and held up a picture from the middle of the table in front of her. She passed it along to the couple at the head of the table.

“It’s amazing what you can with Photoshop these days.”

Maya said as both of them stared at the pictures of the first time they met. They knew they hadn’t been caught on camera together that night but there they were, cut together extremely well in the same picture and Norman was indeed dressed as Jessie had remembered.

“See? I was right.”

“Yeah, good job. I’m gonna skip the next question, ok? But just so you know, you both answered the same thing, so way to go…”

“What was the question?”

Mingus asked.

“Moving on!”

Alanna drown out Mingus request and the teenager glare at her but Jessie just laughed and leaned over to him and whispered the question to him.

“What body part do you think Norman likes most on you, Jess?”

“We decided to go with the kid friendly answer on this one too, right…?”

She turned and grinned at her husband, who turned slightly read when he grinned right back and shook his head.

“Yeah, let’s go with the kid friendly answer.”

“Then my answer is the eyes. Although, for the time being it’s probably my belly but in general the eyes.”

“You guys have been cheating!”

“No! I swear to God… What was his answer?”

Jessie protested loudly when Alanna accused them.

“Pretty much the same. I quote: “In general I love her eyes but as for right now, I’m in love with her belly.”

“You really were meant to be…Norm, what’s Jessie’s kid friendly answer to this?”

“The same. For some reason I know she likes my eyes.”

“Alright, you’d know each other pretty damn well. But how about favorite tattoo? It’s probably the hardest one.”

“No it’s not.”

They said both at the same time.

“Show offs…”

Andy muttered, making everyone around the table laugh.

“Ok. So what is it?”

“His favorite is my tiger at my neck.”

“And yours is the X on my collarbone…Have we proven ourselves enough yet?”

“Not just yet, there’s one question I really want to know the answer to. What’s the most embarrassing thing he or she has done or said?”

“There’s so much to choose from.”

Jessie said and got a sidewise glare from her husband.

“What do you think her first thought was though, Norman?”

“I’m pretty sure she told you about all those times we went to a certain concert with a certain boy band. It is pretty damn embarrassing and should ruin my bad boy image if it ever reached the public.”

“How the hell can you possible know that’s what she thought of?!”

Alanna seemed genuine upset.

“Cause it’s the first thing I think off.”

“Fine…! J?”

“It’s probably that one time when I was too star struck and ended up making a fucking fool of myself.”

“In front of whom?”

“Mr. President himself, when we went to the that correspondence dinner at the White House. It was really bad but I wasn’t the only one so that’s fine.”

“And I would’ve thought meeting me for the first time was embarrassing.”

“I think Norman was more embarrassed about that meeting then me, Andy. I was just pissed…. Was I right?”

“Of course you were.”

Norman answered and kissed her check as both of them heard Alanna groan at the other end of the table.

“I give up. You’d know each other inside and out, there’s nothing you don’t know about each other, congratulations. I love you both and I’m really happy for you guys, there’s no one who deserves this more then you.”

 As dinner slowly started to come to an end, Andy got to his feet and both Jessie and Norman tensed as they both got nervous about what the man had in mind.

“Oh come on, don’t look so fucking worried…! I really just wanted to say congratulations. And I would like you all to please move back out to the porch. I’ve a little surprise. Well, we have a little surprise actually.”

Both of them turned as one to Mingus when Andy nodded towards the teenager.

“I’m scared, baby.”

Jessie said as everyone got to their feet. Norman stood and offered his hand to her and she rose and followed him back outside. Both of them halted at the sight that met them. The lawn beneath the porch was lit up by familiar faces holding torches as far as they both could see. Melissa, Scoot, Gale, Lauren, Jeffrey, Ross, everyone was there and she had to grab hold of the back of his shirt for support as the feeling of gratitude overwhelmed her.

“You’re gonna dance, dad.”

“I hope this is ok.”

Andy asked quietly and placed a hand on Jessie’s check. He met her glassy eyes and she smiled at him.

“Thank you, Andy.”

“Your sneaky bastard… Do you want to dance, Mrs. Reedus?”

“Yes, Mr. Reedus.”

A guitar was resting in Mingus lap when they turned and found their guests waiting for them. Maya was standing beside the teenager and even before the first words left her mouth, Jessie felt the first tears escape her.

“When I tried to find a song that would fit for this, I decided to get some help and who better to help but the one person who probably knows you both best. I love you, Jessie, you’re like a sister to me and, Norman? Thank you for always catching her before she hit the ground.”   

He pulled her into his arms and they started to move over the floor tightly wrapped in each other’s arms as Mingus started to play the first acoustic tunes of a song that Jessie had just discovered and fallen in love with.    

 _Wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt_  
 _If you ask me, don't know where to start_  
 _Anger, love, confusion_  
 _Roads that go nowhere_  
 _I know that somewhere better_  
 _'Cause you always take me there_  
  
_Came to you with a broken faith_  
 _Gave me more than a hand to hold_  
 _Caught before I hit the ground_  
 _Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now_  
  
_Would you take the wheel_  
 _If I lose control?_  
 _If I'm lying here_  
 _Will you take me home?_  
  
_Could you take care of a broken soul?_  
 _Will you hold me now?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
  
_Hold the gun to my head, count 1, 2, 3_  
 _If it helps me walk away then it's what I need_  
 _Every minute gets easier_  
 _The more you talk to me_  
 _You rationalize my darkest thoughts_  
 _Yeah, you set them free_  
  
_Came to you with a broken faith_  
 _Gave me more than a hand to hold_  
 _Caught before I hit the ground_  
 _Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now_  
  
_Would you take the wheel_  
 _If I lose control?_  
 _If I'm lying here_  
 _Will you take me home?_  
  
_Could you take care of a broken soul?_  
 _Oh, will you hold me now?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
  
_You say space will make it better_  
 _And time will make it heal_  
 _I won't be lost forever_  
 _And soon I wouldn't feel_  
 _Like I'm haunted, oh, falling_  
  
_Would you take the wheel_  
 _If I lose control?_  
 _If I'm lying here_  
 _Will you take me home?_  
  
_Could you take care of a broken soul?_  
 _Oh, will you hold me now?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home, home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_  
 _Oh, will you take me home?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/track/76eBb8heDKtUg68WiKX9j1


	29. Daryl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i got inspired watching the season 7 premier as well as Talkind Dead.

They were both high for days after their weeding. She was so ridiculously happy not even all the hate mail she had gotten since Norman decided to post a picture of her and Mingus holding hands in the moonlight with their backs turned to the camera on their wedding day. There had been nothing but a simple heart emoji posted with the picture but the internet had gone wild with speculations after seeing her dressed up, which they had not yet either confirmed or denied.

“Andy.”

Jessie answered her phone and pressed it to her ear so she could continue loading the dish washer after tonight’s dinner. She had had to eat alone tonight as Norman was still not back from work. The moment she saw his number on the display, Jessie had a very bad feeling about why the Englishman was calling.

“Hi, hon.”

“What’s up, Andy?”

“Why doesn’t it always have been something special when I call you? Can’t I just call you to chat?”

“No… What’s going on?”

“You might want to drop by the restaurant.”

“Now? It’s almost 11 pm. Why?”

“Cause Norman’s not home yet, right?”

“No. Just tell me what the…”

She suddenly gasped and shut her eyes closed as one chilling thought crossed her mind. She felt her eyes tear up and she covered her mouth with one hand as Andy didn’t respond on the other line.

“They’re killing Daryl…”

“Scoot talked to him after we finished shooting today… 7:15 will be the last episode…”

She had to sit down. She sunk down on the floor and felt the tears stream down her face and she heard Andy cry on the other line as well. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there and cried with Andy but he finally took a deep breath and spoke.

“He told me but… He just told me and then took the bike and left.”

“How do you know he’s at the restaurant then?”

“Greg called me.”

She scrambled to her feet while she still talked to Andy and whipped her wet eyes with the back of her hand before grabbing her car keys.

“He needs you, Jess.”

“Yeah… I’m going right now. Thanks for calling, Andy.”

“Of course, honey.”

“I love you, Andy.”

The line fell silent for 2 heartbeats as she let the words slip through her lips for the first time. She could tell her words surprised him but it was with a smile on his face.

“I love you too, J. Call me if you need me, ok? Anytime.”

“I will.”

She hung up the moment she started to car and drove towards downtown Senoia. She drove too fast and parked in a none parking zone but it was the least of her worries. She found him by the bar, twisting a glass of ember liquor between his hands in the empty restaurant. She wasn’t sure what to do or say to help me with this and she hesitated a step behind him. She took a deep breath in to say something, not sure what it was supposed to be, but he stood suddenly and threw himself into her arms, burying his face in her neck and just cried like a child. When his sobs got too hard, she brought him down on the floor with her and held him as close as she possible could. She stroke his hair and whipped his tears as he curled up in a fetal position with his head in her lap.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She replayed as he finally turned around on his back and looked up at her. She bent and kissed away the last tear under his right eye.

“Do you want me to get the matches?”

He managed to chuckle between the last sobs and he nodded.

“Hell yeah…! I know it was going to happen but… I… I…”

“I could probably have Scoot killed and make it look like an accident.”

“Thanks, babe but the scrip is already written.”

“At least tell me it’s going to mean something. There’re not just killing you make headlines. It has to mean something. Right?”

“What does that mean? To you, I mean?”

“You know, like he has to save someone. Scarifies himself for someone else, that’s the only way Daryl should go down, saving his family, preferable Rick or Carol. He has to go out fighting or there’ll be a riot too big to handle.”

“I fucking hope so. Andy called, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been crying.”

“We cried together.”

“Yeah, I felt really bad for just leaving him like that but I… I had to get away. I’m sorry to drag you out this late.”

She teared up again but for another reason this time. No matter how shitty he was feeling, he always worried about her and wanted to make sure she was ok. She leaned down and kissed him softly.

“For better and for worse, right…? We’ll get through this together.”

“I know. The thing is that… I thought it’d be worse, you know? Some part of me is almost glad it’s over. Now it can be just you and me and this little one.”

He turned his head and put one hand on her bump and leaned in to kiss it.

“You know I’ll never ask you to stop, right? Not for me, not for anyone.”

“I know, J. But I want to be there, every second if I can. I just want to be with you and our baby and not have to worry about anything else or do anything else.”

“You won’t make it a day.”

“I know.”

He confessed and they both laughed quietly.

“I love you so much, both of you.”

He hugged her around the belly and she continued to stroke his hair while he talked softly to his unborn child. His voice got more steady and calm for each passing minute and soon she felt his quivering body relax.

                                            ---------------------------------        

She wasn’t going to get through the season 7 premier alone. And since the entire cast was heading to L.A. she sure as hell wasn’t going to stay behind in Georgia all alone. But she knew Norman wouldn’t want her to come because he thought it would be too dangerous for her. She of course didn’t agree at all, just thought he was being an overprotecting ass all over again but for once she didn’t have the energy to fight him. So she headed to New York to watch the premier with Mingus.

“Sure you’ll be alright?”

He was there to wave her off at the gate before heading straight for his own flight. She rolled her eyes at him and he returned a scowl that seconds later turned into a smile as he kissed her.

“Yes, Mr. Reedus. I’ll be alright. Tim is like 2 seats behind me like always, right?”

“Have you actually seen him today though?”

“No, but I know he’s going to be there, right?”

“Of course. See you Wednesday?”

“Yeah… Hey, I’ll get to use my new ID card for the first time today.”

“You’re official Mrs. Reedus now.”

He said as she picked up her wallet and scanned her new driver license and her new name.

“Hey?”

He lifted her chin as he saw her eyes turn glassy. She looked back into his worried eyes and shook her head before speaking.

“I love you.”    

 “I love you too. You ok?”

“Yeah, sure… See you Wednesday.”

She sank down in her first-class seat with her emotions all over the place that day. She had had a crappy night, not sleeping well at all and simply knowing she would be without Norman for 4 days, made her grumpy. The fact that every other person passing her on the plane even before take off, had their phone in hand, snapping photos made her want to crawl out of her own skin.

“Move.”

She lifted her head and looked up at the huge man that was never far away whenever she was alone. He gestured to the seat closest to the window when she looked at him. At first she wanted to protest and ask him to go to hell but when staring at him an extra second, she realized he just wanted to help and she changed her seat. Once the man took his seat next to her, his huge body helped shielding her from view from the other passengers.

“Thanks…”

She said quietly before curling up and closed her eyes, praying to get some much-needed sleep, no matter how short it might have been.

                                            -------------------------

  _Norman: Miss u. Just landed at LAX. Fucking crazy here, kinda glad you’re not here although I miss u…_

_Jessie: Miss u too. Having lunch with your son right now_

_Norman: How’s your flight?_

_Jessie: No idea, slept through it all, including landing and car ride home…_

_Norman: Are you actually ready to thank my overprotecting ass for hiring Tim as I’m guessing he was the one getting your off of the plane?_

_Jessie: Never!_

_Norman: You’re welcome ;)_

_Jessie: What’re you up to until tonight?_

_Norman: Heading to Sean to get the bike and escape somewhere_

_Jessie: Sounds like a great plan_

_Norman: Now I kinda wish you were here…they’re still waiting for a conformation_

_Jessie: Not today babe_

_Norman. Why not?_

_Jessie: Coz these few days should be about TWD and not us…_

_Norman: What did I ever do to deserve u?_

_Jessie: U stuck around ♥_

_Norman: Always will baby ♥ love you_

_Jessie: Love you too_

Andy was blinded by the hundreds of cameras snapping photos as he began the short walk of the red carpet before _Talking Dead._ As he turned his head to one side, he saw Norman standing at the edge. He looked a little lost at the moment and he was pretty sure his best friend imagined what it would be like to walk down one of these red carpets with Jessie. When Andy called out to him and held out his hand for him, Norman grinned at him and walked straight up to him and grabbed his hand.

“Thought I looked lonely, huh?”

Norman asked as they had all made it across the red carpet and ended up back stage.  

“You did… Missing the wife?”

“Wow, I’ll never get use to that… But yeah, I miss Jessie.”

“She’s back in New York?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want her to come out, seeing as how things turned out the last time. She didn’t even protest.”

“That’s unlike her.”

“I know. She’s a lot nicer and willing since I’m about to die and all that.”

Andy shook his head, not even wanting to think about that until he really had to. They had all known that they were not going to make out alive at the end of this season but the mere thought of losing the man in front of him made his heart break. The only thing that helped was knowing Norman wasn’t actually leaving Georgia no matter what happened. He knew they would be BFF’s but when he had first found out Daryl was being killed off, he had wanted to burn down the entire set and actually went on a mad quest in search of matches. But as the biggest shock had subsided he had just cried. First with Gale and then with Jessie and then finally with the man himself the day after the news. Now whenever Norman reminded him, Andy went into defense mood and denied it. He would keep doing the same until they stood right in front of the very physical moment and time was slipping away. They had only 3 weeks left of filming and Norman’s last episode was beginning after Atlanta Comic Con and he wasn’t ready. Not at all.  

“Come on, Andy, I ain’t dead yet. Let’s have some fun.”

The older of the two friends, threw his arm around his shoulder and hugged him to his side for a second. Andy felt himself relax a little as he saw Norman smile. He was happy. His brother was happy and it was what it was all about. When Norman walked away from him, greeting Jeffrey a little way away, he picked up his phone.

_Andy: Sorry for getting a bit emotional right now but I’ve to get it off of my chest. I hated you Jessie. I really did hate you for hurting him way back when. For keeping on hurting him for no reason really. And I’m not even going to apologize for it cause you don’t deserve it. But now, 2000 years later I want to say thank you. From the bottom of my heart Jessie. Thank you for making him whole and happy. I get it now. I get that it had to happen this way for you for some fucked up reason. I love you baby girl and no matter what happens in the future you’ll always be part of my family, just as he is. You and your husband and that little one inside you is part of my family whether you like it or not so you just have to deal with it!_

_Jessie: Wow…! At first I wanted to punch you but now I’m sitting here fucking crying and Mingus thinks I’ve lost my mind. I’d be honored to be part of your family Andy. I love you too_

_Andy: Good cause it’s not optional_

_Jessie: Thanks for holding my husband’s hand on the red carpet btw_ _J_

_Andy: You’re welcome, he looked a bit lonely without you_

_Jessie: I know I’ve said it before but you were fucking awesome tonight! Best performance I’ve ever seen and I’m getting you a fucking Emmy for it although it’s not a real one and that is not optional either!_

_Andy: Thank you babe_

“You where there, right?”

Jessie put her phone away at the same time as Mingus did and he turned to her with the question. They had just made it through the season seven premier. Well, she had barley survived, sitting on the edge of the couch and cried like a hysterical child from the first scene. Mingus had been her human pillow when she couldn’t take it anymore and just wanted to hide. He had let her and her crazy hormones had probably affected him too because at the end of the episode he had been teary eyed as well.

“Yeah…I got so fucking close to punching Jeffrey.”

“Why?”

“For pulling your dad’s hair.”

Mingus chuckled and got up and started to clean the table from all the junk they had been eating through the evening. He protested and placed his hand on her arm and gently guided her down on the couch again when she tried to get to her feet and help.

“I got it. You need to save your strength.”

“Sorry…? What the fuck for?”

“I read somewhere giving birth is like running a marathon.”

“Mingus, I’ve like 3 months until I’m due, I think I’ll have plenty of time to save my strength. Why would you read something like that anyway? You should be focusing on school and chicks and music and… Not… Not me.”

She watched the teenager heading back and forth between the kitchen and the living room, throwing away trash and putting the dirty dishes away.

“How hard is it to get it? Really, Jessie you’re really stupid sometime…”

“What the hell…?”

“I love you, Jessie. You’re family and there’s nothing more important right now then you and my little brother or sister. And I’m going to help you in any way I can. So yes, I’ve done some research.”

She sat and simply gaped at him for a few seconds and he kept staring right back at her. He had the same perfect combination of a scowl and an amused smiled on his face that his father had used so many times on her and it made her simply nod.

“Good, don’t be so fucking stubborn. I’m here to help so suck it up!”

“Ok, ok, ok, chill dammit…! Since we’re on the subject then, have your dad talked to you about what we’ve decided about… All this?”

She gestured to the bump that was moving around like crazy at the moment. She had a feeling the baby would keep her up for a good few hours this night as well after eating pretty much nothing but sugar the entire night.

“I know he and mom talked after the wedding.”

“Would you like to be there when the baby is born?”

“Do you want me to be there?”

“Yes. But don’t feel like you have to because of that, cause I truly understand if you don’t want to, it’s a bit of a mess.”

“I would love to be there, Jessie if you want me there.”

“We’re going to do it here, if everything goes as planned.”

“What do you mean here? Here in New York?”

“Here as in this apartment, Mingus. We’re planning on having a home birth.”

“What?! Why…? That’s just… Insane! You could die! It’s dangerous, Jessie! You need to be in a hospital with doctors and help and…!”

“Holly shit, Mingus, calm the fuck down…! Fuck, your dad didn’t even react this strongly about this when I told him. Damn, Mingus take it easy… We’re going to have people here. I’m meeting with a midwife tomorrow. She or whoever we choice will be there from this point on and all through the delivery and after. As to the danger part of the whole thing; it’s not safer to give birth in a hospital, you just have everything a lot closer if something should happen. But we’ve like a 10-minute ride to the closest ER from here so I feel pretty safe. You wanted to know why. Because of Jacob. I don’t know how I’m going to react when I go into labor but I just know I don’t want to be reminded by that day more then I’ve to and Jacob is born in the hospital. I walked those fucking corridors, spent hours in a fucking bed and just tried not to puke all over the place. I can’t control what might happen when the day comes but I can control where it happens and who’s with me. This place, you and your dad’s apartment is the first place since I lost them, where I felt safe again.”

She never took her eyes off of the teenager while she tried to explain their decision. He took a few moments to let the whole thing sink in but when he finally had, he walked back to her and sunk down beside her. He opened his mouth to speak but just as he did, she grabbed his hand and placed it to the side of her bump where his little brother or sister were stretching its legs.

“Whatever you want, J… I’m sorry I yelled at you. You just caught me off guard to say the least. I didn’t even know there was another way…”

“Makes you two.”

“Dad’s really ok with this?”

“When I explained to him why I wanted to do it, yes. But he was kinda freaked about it at first too, so no need to feel that bad about it.”

“So you’re staying here?”

“We’re coming back here after they end production in November and stay until the baby’s born. After that, I’m going back home to Georgia.”

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t like to raise another kid here.”

“I’m going to be here too but I just… I need Georgia to be home. Your dad is staying here though.”

“What do you mean…? No, he’s not! He can’t. He needs to be with you.”

“Mingus, I’m not taking your father away from you. It’s not going to happen, we’ve already talked about it and…”

“No! Shut the hell up! I’m fine! Jessie, I’m fine. He’s been my dad for 17 years and he’s done one hell of a job raising me with mom and I’m fine. So shut your mouth right now, cause there’s no way I’m letting him stay here and leave you behind in Georgia.”

“He needs you, Mingus. He loves you more then anyone…”

“I know that, that’s why I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’m not going to see him again. Like you said, you’ll be here too. But I’m not letting you live in Georgia all alone, Jessie. Forget it! I’ll come down to live with you guys and dad can fly out here.”

“Stop growing up!”

She got overwhelmed by the understanding and willingness to help from the boy in front of her. She knew he wasn’t a kid anymore but some part of her still saw the smiling 10-year-old boy that laughed so much he started to cry when they rode _Space Mountain_ at Disney World. He was too much like his dad, always thinking about everything and everyone else but himself but she wished he wouldn’t. It was tearing her in two to move to Georgia because she knew this was how it was going to be. Mingus wouldn’t want her to be alone and she hated that she wasn’t strong enough to stay in New York for his sake. She would be taking his father away from him even more then before because she needed to live in Georgia and although she knew Mingus was all grown up and would make absolutely fine without having Norman just around the corner, her bad conscious had kept her up countless hours at night.

“You don’t need to feel bad about this, Jess.”

Mingus placed a comforting hand on her face when she felt herself tear up. She blinked the tears away and shook her head at him.

“I hate this, Mingus. I hate that you’re growing up to fast and I hate that I’m doing this to you and to your dad. I want to be able to stay here for you, so we can all be together.”

“Now you’re just talking silly… We’ll be together anyway. It’s a damn hour flight to Atlanta, Jessie. It’s not the other side of the world. I would never be able to live with you guys for too long anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Listing to you have sex every other hour gets pretty annoying after a few days.”

He laughed at her when she hit his shoulder.

“Shut the hell up!”

“Sorry… But you really don’t have to worry about me, Jessie. I’ll be fine. I know I can call dad whenever I want and if I ask him to come home I know he’ll be on the next flight.”

“You gotta promise me that you do though. I’m serious, Mingus. If you need him to stay here, for whatever reason, you need to tell him without thinking about everything else. You don’t have to worry about me either. I can survive without you dad for a week or two.”

“I know. It’ll work out, Jessie. It always does.”

“Yeah. I love you.”

“I love you too.”   


	30. Norman fucking Reedus

“Babe?”

Norman almost fell over 3 big boxes just inside the front door when he came back from L.A. He was in such a hurry to see her again, he missed the boxes. He cursed to himself as he grabbed the wall for support.

“Jessie?”

He found her asleep on the couch with the intro to _All Saints Day_ running over and over again. She stirred when he kneeled down on the floor next to her and he kissed her head.

“Hi…”

She whispered, her voice so full of sleep but it was a smile on her face as she slowly opened her eyes.

“Hey.”

“What’s up with the boxes?”

“I’m going with you to Walker Stalker.”

“Since when?”

“Since my publisher has been bombarded with requests from the public.”

“Jessie…”

He heard her sigh and he knew she had heard the protest coming before he actually said the words. She sat up but he moved with her and grabbed her waist when she grabbed his face.

“Stop, Norman… I’m just going to sale my books and talk to whoever shows up if someone actually shows up. And I’m going to be close to Sean.”

“When did you decide this? You could have called, talked to me about this, J.”

“It was a last-minute thing. They had an open space available and I got the call this morning and I got the books expressed ship out from New York just a few hours ago. And what does it matter? You’re going to be gone all damn weekend anyway.”

This was not what he had expect to come home to after being away for 4 days. He had expected her to be all over him because she had missed him like crazy but now she was just in a bad mood and it pissed him off. He got to his feet, pushing her arms away.

“What?!”

“What’s the fucking point in us getting married if we’re not going to share things with each other?! It’s what partners do, right? Share their lives with each other? Why can’t you never just fucking talk to me before deciding things like this, J?!”

“What the hell is there to talk about? Since when do you run everything through me? You’re going to be out in the middle of the fucking sea 3 day before I’m due on the Walker Stalker cruise!”

“I’ve a fucking contract, Jessie!”

“So do I! I didn’t write those books just to leave them on the shelf, Norman! I made a commitment to help whoever I could help and now… Because of you there’s a whole other group of people that know about the books and want to know more and this opportunity came up and you were 10 000 fucking miles up in the air! Why the hell do you not want me to do this?!”

“I never said I didn’t want you to do it, I want you talk to me, Jessie!”

“Bullshit! You think I’ll get fucking murdered every time I walk out the door, Norman! I’m fucking sick and tired of you trying to save me all the time when there’s nothing to safe me from!”

“And I’m fucking sick and tired of you always taking risks like this! Do you like it? It’s that it? You like having people yelling at you, calling you names? Insult you ever time you show your face?!”

“I don’t care!”

“Now that’s bullshit, Jessie! Don’t you think I talk to Tim at all? Every time he’s been with you for the past weeks there’s been people harassing you. He had to stop a drunk bitch taking a swing at you when you were in New York this week! What the fuck is up with that? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Cause it doesn’t matter! Nothing happened, I’m fine.”

“Of course it matters! I love you! More then anyone, Jessie. You’re the most important person in my life!”

“I can’t stay shut up here all the time, Norman. I’m going fucking crazy. You can’t protect me from everything and everyone in the fucking world. I’ve already quit working because you asked me to, you don’t get to fucking ask anything more than that from me! I’ve to be something else then just Mrs. Norman fucking Reedus!”

She was panting after she stopped yelling at him. She knew she was stepping over the line, that he didn’t deserve her anger. It wasn’t his fault, he just loved her and worried about her and some small part of her knew he had a reason to. But she had kept it bottled up for long enough now and when he started yelling, there was no stopping her from yelling right back. It was like they had gone back 5 years in time, to a time where they communicated by yelling only and however could yell the loudest won the fight. She wasn’t sure she wanted to win this time though. He looked at her with wide, shocked, eyes. Staring without speaking.

“Good thing they’re killing me off then…”

His voice was so full of pain and disappointment she heard herself gasp. He had misunderstood the whole thing and she got so caught off guard, she had no idea what to say to make him understand.

“Maybe I should’ve just stayed in L.A then, huh? So you could go back to your old, perfect, little life where there was no Norman fucking Reedus then!”

“It wasn’t… Norman, that’s not…”

She tried to string a sentence together in her head that would make him listen but she took too long and he had already turned back to the front door, grabbing his already packed suitcase and his car keys. She tried to stop him, grabbing his arm but he simply snatched it right back.

“Sorry for fucking up your life, Miss Hamilton!”

He snarled without even looking back at her and she knew there was no point in trying to talk at that moment. He wouldn’t listen to a word she said anyway. So she let him go. She heard the car leave the driveway not a minute later and she stood in the middle of the hallway, wondering what the hell had just happened. Why the hell she always had to fuck things up. Why she always had to say the wrong things and hurt him when all she really wanted to do was the opposite.

                                            ----------------------------------

“Can I stay here tonight?”

Norman didn’t even give Andy a friendly hello when the later opened the door to him a lot later then was considered normal visiting hours. Without answering, Andy showed him inside and Norman dropped his bag and cloths on the floor before heading straight for Andy’s liquor cabinet for a shot of whatever he could get his hands on.

“Norman? Everything alright?”

“Gale… Hi, sorry… Hope I didn’t wake the kids.”

Norman spun around and faced Andys wife with the glass in his had full to the brim. He emptied the burning alcohol in one big gulp and welcomed the feeling of calm that slowly started to spread through his stressed-out body.

“No worries. You ok?”

“Ask me again tomorrow.”

“Fare enough. Well, I’m going to head to bed. See you tomorrow then I guess. There’s some food in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“Thank you, Gale.”

Andy waited until he heard his wife close the bedroom door on the upstairs landing before turning to his friend. Norman was on the couch, his head tilted back and his eyes closed.

“What she done this time?”

Norman snorted, shaking his head before opening his eyes again and located Andy sitting in the armchair next to him. He placed a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of him and Norman quickly pored himself a second glass.

“I don’t know, man… It just got out of hand…. So fucking out of hand. I just need to calm down and get my head straight before I talk to her again or I might end up fucking kill her this time around.”

“Stay for as long as you need, Norm.”

“Thanks… You don’t have to stay with me. I’m fine. I find my way to the guestroom, you know. Go and join the Mrs.”

“Alright… Do I need to take the bottle?”

Andy nodded towards the liquor as he got to his feet.

“Yeah, probably a good idea.”

“Go get a shower, Norman and go to bed, clear your head.”

“Yeah… Thanks.”

“Of course, man. See you tomorrow.”

“Night.”

_Gale: He’s here_

_Jessie: Thanks for letting me know_

_Gale: You ok?_

_Jessie: Not really but I’ll be_

_Gale: I could go and punch some sense into him if you like_

_Jessie: Thanks but it’s my fault this time, he just didn’t want to listen. Kinda glad he walked away when he did actually or there might have been worse_

_Gale. Ok. Let me know if there’s anything I can do_

_Jessie: I will_

                                            ----------------------------

Sean was use to Jessie wanting to hug him but the embrace he received from her Friday morning was more a desperate scream for some kind of closeness. She clung to him and buried her whole face in his chest.

“Baby girl…? What’s going on?”

“Norman hasn’t been home for 2 days. We had a fight and he’s been at Andy’s since Wednesday.”

“Then what the hell are you doing here, honey?”

“I need something else to think about.”

“Let’s talk about this over lunch later, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Will you sign my book, Mrs. Reedus?”

“I’m not sure there’s a Mr. and Mrs. Reedus anymore…”

She said but regretted the words at once.

“Sorry… Don’t listen to me. It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s just been a couple of rough days. Yes, I’ll sign your book, Mr. Flanery.”

Jessie took the two books from Sean and signed the first of many copies that day. She had never thought she would get such a huge response. Her line was never empty and people came by not just to get their books signed but some simply wanted to stop by to chat. She found that she loved this kind of interaction with the fans. She enjoyed so many different conversations with a variety of people, teens, kids, adults.

“How are you doing this fine Friday?”

She would recognize the voice even though it was among a million people. She looked up from her Pepsi and came face to face with a skeleton. She recognized the onepiece but had to admit the make-up was quite impressive. Although she knew every inch of her husband’s face, she hadn’t known it was him unless he had talked to her.

“Hi… Wow, impressive.”

“Thanks.”

He leaned over the table and grabbed her hands.

“How are you doing, Mrs. Reedus?”

“It’s Miss Hamilton, isn’t it?”

“No….”

He lifted her hands a few inches off of the table and kissed them, leaving her with a note in her hands.

“You want me to punch him for ya?”

Sean showed up out of nowhever, standing close to her and put his hand on the small of her back. She let Norman sweat for a second extra when she took her time to really consider Sean’s offer. The two men stared each other down while she kept her eyes on her husband. She finally realized that she really didn’t need to take on Sean’s offer. She had messed up.

“Not today.”

“Let me know if you change your mind.”

“Those fucking angle eyes…”

“Yeah sorry, man. I can’t resist them.”

He grabbed her hand briefly and squeezed it before he turned and walked away. Sean leaned in and kissed the side of her head quickly.

“You ok?”

“Yeah.”

She said as she opened up the scribbled note in her hand and read it.    

  _I love you first_

_Today_

_Tomorrow_

_And every damn day until the end of time_

_Ps. I’m sorry. I’ll be waiting for you at home whenever you’re done_

_Ps 2. I love you_

Talking to Sean was like therapy for her. He hadn’t even start eating before she began to talk and once she started it was like a waterfall. It just came coming and there was no stopping it. And he was the perfect listener, simply letting her talk without interrupting with either questions or comments until he knew she really was done. There was so much she wanted to get off of her chest that she couldn’t talk to Norman about. Or rather, didn’t want to talk to him about, because she was afraid he would read too much into her words and misunderstand her just like he had 2 days before. It was never about wanting him to change what he did for a living. She wouldn’t change that for anything in the world because it made him who he was. It was more the fact that she had to be able distance herself from it from time to time. She still had to be her own person not just the wife of Norman Reedus. She twisted and turned her own words inside out, trying to make Sean understand at the same time as she tried to make herself understand what it really was all about. She finally ran out of words and silence fell between them.

“Ok, so… Just answer this without really thinking too much. Do you want him to quit acting?”

“No!”

“Cause that’s all he heard when you said what you said.”

“I figured that out too late… I would never ask him to quit, he knows that. It would be like him asking me to stop dancing.”

“Which he kinda has…It’s ok to be pissed about that, Jess. Frankly, I think he’s a bit surprised you agreed so easily.”

“He caught me in a weak moment…”

She said, smiling to herself.

“I don’t even want to know… You really gotta work on your communication, Jessie. You both suck at it and it leads to so many unnecessary conflicts because you don’t fucking talk to each other. And the really bad thing is that you’re even worse then Reedus and that’s not a compliment, baby.”

“Hey, what happened with not be able to resist the fucking angel eyes?”

She protested with a hint of a laugh behind the words and Sean rolled his eyes at her.

“You know I love you to death, baby girl but you suck at communicating and it’s my damn right to get mad at you for it.”

“Your right, huh?”

“Yes. Someone has to be the one talking some sense into you. When you’re done here, go straight home and apologize. Beg on your fucking knees if you have to.”

“I won’t.”

“I know. Cause Reedus is too damn forgiving and blames himself for everything that you do and say although, and you know I’m fucking right so shut your mouth, you fucked up, Jess.”

“I know. The good thing is that I can always blame it on the being pregnant.”

“No, you’ve always been like this. Has nothing to do with being pregnant, hon.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

She threw a handful of fries at him when he started to laugh but regretted it at once, as she was famished and ended up finishing Sean’s lunch as well.

                                            -------------------------------

He was bouncing from floor to celling all Friday when he was home alone. After sneaking around at Walker Stalker Con for a few hours he had decided to head home and just wait for her but he hadn’t been able to sit still for more then 10 minutes straight. The restlessness in his body was a lot harder to handle when he was alone and too many thoughts spun around in his head too fast for him to make sense of them. He had tried to play some video games, watch TV, go through his e-mail but nothing could occupy him for long. Finally he turned on the sound system and started up an old favorite playlist on Spotify and turned up the volume loud enough that he felt the base vibrate against his chest and he went to town on cleaning the entire house. Once he had something to be obsessive about for a few hours it was easier to sort out his thoughts.

All he had heard from her was that what he was doing for a living was costing problems for her and although he knew she was right, he wasn’t ready for _her_ to say the words. She had always been nothing but supportive and proud of his work but now it was like she rather had him throw all that away. After spending 2 days away from her, he knew it probably wasn’t what she really meant but that had only made him pissed about the fact that she could never explain what she meant.

He replaced the pail of plates in the cabinet over the sink after whipping it clean, when a movement at the corner of his eye made him turn his head. The front door stood open and 2 boxes had been placed just inside but she was nowhere to be seen. The car was still running when he walked out on the front steps and he saw her unpacking more boxes from the trunk. Quickly he rushed out to help her but before he reached her, she called out.

“Don’t! I got it. Take the other once.”

He staggered to a halt when she turned around without looking at him and headed into the house again. When she didn’t return, he turned the car off and grabbed the last 2 boxes and walked back inside. He could make out all sort of things in the open boxes as he placed them in the hallway. Paintings, books, cloths, toys, stuffed animals, so many different things and he realized they were gifts from fans and his heart melted when he counted 5 full boxes after just one day at the Walker Stalker convention. He opened his mouth to say something but realized she had no chance in hearing him through the loud music and he quickly picked up his phone and turned it off.

“It smells really good. What’ve you been doing?”

She appeared right in front of him all of a sudden as she came out from the bathroom and this time she finally looked at him. Her green eyes started straight into his blue once and he forgot all about wanting to talk like so many times before. He saw the same desire in her eyes that he felt but as he took a step towards her, she backed away and rose her hand up to stop him.

“We can’t do this every time, Norman. We can’t keep communicating through sex.”

He stood stock still for a few seconds and tried to take in her words. He had never thought those words would come from her. He had thought he’d be the one saying them but then he remembered she had spent the entire day with Sean and he had probably past on the same words he had told Norman the day before when he spent hours on the phone with him.

“I made dinner.”

He finally said.

“I’m starving.”

“I made stuffed chicken and tried to make some bread but it burned cause… Well, I was cleaning and forgot about it and…”

She took 3 steps forward and placed her arms around his waist and kissed him softly, cutting his words off mid through.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jessie. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. You’ve nothing to apologize for. Come on, let’s have some dinner and then we can try to sort this out, ok?”

“Ok.”

Together they had set the table within 10 minutes and although she had said he had nothing to apologize for, he tried a little extra and lit some candles and turned the sound system back on but with the soft tunes of one of her own playlists while she was in the bathroom. When she came back she stopped on the middle of the floor and looked over at him. A gorgeous smile began to spread over her face as she recognized the music and began to sing along to James Blunt’s _Your Beautiful._

“Did you get caught?”

“No. The make-up was pretty damn good.”

“Who helped you?”

“Gale…. And the kids. How was your day?”

“Great. I had a really good time. The books sold out so they’re going to ship out another express delivery that will hopefully make it here before tomorrow morning.”

He tried to wait until she had got some food in her system, knowing this conversation would lead nowhere if she was low on energy, but the words finally slipped out really without him being aware of thinking them.

“I’m really sorry, Jessie.”

He heard her sigh before lowering her glass back to the table and looked over at him.

“You thought I asked you to quit, didn’t you?”

“It was what it sounded like, yes.”

“It was not what I meant.”

“I know that… Now. What did you mean?”

“I think I lost some part of who I am when you asked me to stop working. I get why you did and you’re probably right but… Dancing is a part of me. It’s my comfort zone, just as art is yours and I haven’t been doing that for a month now and… It’s all about us right now. There’s no Norman and Jessie anymore it’s just us, together as one person. We haven’t even been together for real for a whole year yet and there been so fucking much happening already and I can’t keep up anymore.”

“Why did you tell me you’d quit working if you didn’t want to?”

“You fucking blackmailed me with sex! You had me fucking tied up in that cabin, begging you to make me cum and you just wanted me to stop working.”

He couldn’t help but snigger as the memories of their 2-day vacation on the cost rushed through his mind. She glared at him however and quickly clear his throat and lowered his gaze to the table.

“Yeah, sorry about that…It was kinda mean, I’ll admit that.”

“Thank you!”

“But you could still have talked to me after that, told me you’d changed your mind.”

“Would you have listen…? Besides, what time did I have to talk to you about this? We decided to get married and right after the wedding there was the season 7 premier and then they’re killing Daryl and now Walker Stalker and… There’s no time for anything and on top of everything I’m still pregnant and we haven’t even done any shopping yet or planned for a nursery. I know you’ve been freaking out about this and I’ve too. I’ve just tried to… keep it together but I can’t anymore. And when you came home Wednesday… It just got so wrong from the start and I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault, it was the whole fucking thing.”

“Why do you always have to wait until it’s too late and things get out of hand before you talk to me, Jessie? It drives me fucking insane.”

“I know.”

“I’m guessing you talked to Sean?”

“Yeah… And I know it’s not right towards you but he helps sort out what I really feel and think. With you it’s… It has a tendency to get… steamy before we get around to the talking part. But I’m working on it.”

“I probably need to work on that part too. So you want to go back to work?”

“Yes! I need to be me too not…”

“Not just Mrs. Norman fucking Reedus, huh?”

“I’m sorry I said that. You know I love you and I really do love to be Mrs. Norman Reedus but it can’t bel all I am. I know it’s not the ideal job to have when being pregnant but I don’t have to do the hardest classes, I could work with the individual students that don’t need much help, just some guidance.”

“I just don’t want you to strain yourself more then you have to, baby.”

“I won’t do anything that feels wrong or uncomfortable. The baby comes first, Norman, always I promise you that. I wouldn’t risk hurting him or her. You know that, right?”

“Yes but sometimes you get too wrapped up in things and you forget… Do you want me to cancel _Ride_?”

“Why would I want that?”

“It will collide with you giving birth and…”

“Stop, no stop right there, Norman.... No! I don’t want you to cancel anything. Especially not _Ride._ You loved doing that and I loved going with you. I get that I won’t be able to do that this time around but you’re not canceling that show because of me. We’ll work something out. Maybe you can shoot an episode or two already in January? And then the rest in March when the baby’s already born.”

“Yeah probably.”

“I don’t want you to quit working, Norman. It’s who you are and I happen to love you are just the way you are.”

“Could you promise me something?”

“I could try?”

“When something like this happens the next time, try to talk to me right away. If this is what it takes, that we sit down, we’ve to try to do that. I know I was the one leaving but it would’ve ended fucking ugly if I hadn’t left.”

“I know. I’m glad you left when you did. It’s still somewhat the same as it was five year ago. We can’t control our tempers around each other once we get started.”

 “Do you wish it was like that again?”

She watched him for a long while, seeming to really think about her answer. After a moment she nodded.

“Some parts of it, yes… I miss breaking up with you and I miss the crazy reunions we use to have after a break up. I miss the threesomes and group sex. But it doesn’t mean I want anything to change, I don’t want to go back to what it was like before.”

“The threesomes don’t have to end, you know.”

“Yes, they do.”

“Why?”

“Cause if it was another guy, you would get too jealous and punch him to the ground for even looking at me and if it’s another woman, I would do the same. I don’t want to share you, Norman. Not anymore.”

“Ok, good cause I don’t want to share you either.”

“Well, in about 3 months you’ll have to. I got so many amazing baby stuff today… And before you’ve to ask, no there really wasn’t any problems. Tim was there through it all and he didn’t have much to do.”

“I know.”

“How could you know that?”

“Cause he only calls if he has something to tell me. So I know you’ve had an good day when he doesn’t call.”

“Ok, good.”

She decided to try to sort through the boxes of gifts while he cleaned up in the kitchen and having refused her help. She headed for the biggest open floor space she could find and ended up between the TV and the couch. She hadn’t had the time to really look at everything she had gotten as the line kept moving so fast but now she really wanted to take her time and go through every single thing. It amazed her and humbled her that people took their time to do some real amazing things just for her. It was a bit overwhelming and she felt herself getting emotional before she had gone through the first box. The tears finally started to roll down her face when she unrolled 3 handmade pencil sketches.

 _Thank you for being an amazing inspiration of hope and strength for all of us who have lost loved once. I lost my father on 9/11 and being able to read your journey through this hellhole really helped me find the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to your amazing generosity and donations towards_ Tuesday’s Children ( _and other charities) I got the opportunity to make lifelong friends as I’ve become a part one of their project and helped me move forwards every day and find peace. Drawing was something I found after my father died and I hope you and Norman like them. I read the interview you did with_ Entertainment Weekly _and got inspired watching the pictures of your family, especially your beautiful baby boy. The once we love, never really leave us…_

_Thank you for everything you do and good luck with Jacob’s little brother or sister._

_Love,_

_Ashlee_

She ran her fingers over the beautiful piece in front of her. It was a drawing of the picture Norman had post of her and Mingus the night they got married, with one major difference. On her other side was another teenage boy, sitting on the railing, watching his mother with big, green eyes. The boy was smiling and the angel wings on his back was the same as Daryl’s. She closed her eyes and could see her boy right there. The drawing was so close to what she had imagined he would look like today

“Wow… That’s amazing.”

When she came to her senses again, Norman was beside her on the floor. As she turned her head to look at him, he reached out a hand to her and wiped away a linger tear on her cheek. He leaned in and kissed her lips gently.

“How do you get through this, get us to this? How the hell do you handle this? It’s… It’s fucking overwhelming.”

“You don’t get use to it.”

He said as he picked up the attached note and read it while Jessie unrolled the other drawings. This time she didn’t feel the need to cry though. She felt simple chock as she watched herself in a very erotic embrace with her husband on top of Norman’s Tiger. The 3rd drawing actually made her gasp and at the corner of her eye she saw Norman snapped his head to her. It was so surreal to see herself in drawing with that much detail. The edge of the picture was blurred but she imagined herself lying on the edge of their bed as her head was tilted back and her long hair hanging of the edge. They were both naked in the drawing but without the sexual details that would make the whole thing just a porn picture. This was instead sensual and beautiful. His hand was resting between her breast from his position, kneeling between her bent knees. She was sure he was inside her but the drawing really didn’t tell for sure. She saw the moan on her own lips and the little smirk on his lips that he would wear whenever he made her fall over the edge.

“Holly shit…!”

He said the words that she couldn’t form other then inside her head. She had gone speechless, simply staring at the 3 pieces of fanart that literally took her breath away but the latter two for a whole other reason then the first one.

“Can we hang these in the bedroom?”

She finally found her voice again and looked up at Norman. He twisted his head back and forth between the drawings and her a few times before he answered.

“Hell yeah…. And the other one in baby’s room. He should have both brother’s close by.”

“Yeah…And stop saying he!”

“Sorry.”

He chuckled and kissed the side of her head as she put the drawings behind her back and continued going through the boxes with Norman beside her. The best thing after the drawings that she found was a pair of handmade white Converse with portraits of Mr. and Mrs. Dixon with the wings, crossbow, bike and the whole zombie world included.


	31. Threesome

Day two of Walker Stalker kept going pretty much as the first day for her. Her booth kept being visited from the moment she appeared. Tim was always right there and she kept signing autographs and taking pictures for hours with the man hoovering the background. 

_Norman: How are you doing?_

_Jessie: About to take a little break, want to see some of the panels_

_Norman: Have fun_

_Jessie: Nice try… You mean be careful?_

_Norman: Yeah… I love you_

_Jessie: Love you too_

_Norman: How’s your new shoes?_

_Jessie: Awesome :)_

She let the volunteers around her table know that she would be gone for an hour or so, taking a tour around the center. She even for once turned directly to Tim to inform him of her plans without him having to ask. She usually never let him in on her plans, simply walked away and counted on him to follow her. After walking the different floors and building for nearly 45 minutes, she found herself at the Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Greg Nicotero panel. The ballroom was packed to the last seat and it seems they were about midway through it. She got approached by a young female volunteer as she stared to look around for a potential seat.

“Miss Hamilton, can I help you?”

“No, it’s fine I don’t want to want to take up anyone else’s seat.”

“There’s still a few seats left up front.”

She gave the woman a thankful nod at the same time as she heard a fan somewhere in the room ask if Jeffrey experienced any unexpected reaction from the crew and cast while filming the first episode of the 7th season.

“I love your shoes.”

Jessie smiled at the woman when she nodded to the Converse she had received the day before.

“Thanks.”

She never had the time to take her seat as Jeffrey suddenly called out from the stage.

“Jessie!”

It felt like the entire room turned as one and started to search for her, 4000 pair of eyes looked at her and she lifted her head and met Jeffrey’s huge smile up on stage.

“Why don’t you tell them, Jessie?”

She shook her head slowly at the man but he was already beckoning her towards the stage and she was as weak as everyone else to the charming Mr. Morgan. As she made her way up to the stage, getting assistance from the woman already helping her and some security guards, Jeffrey kept talking.

“I had one very unexpected reaction from this young lady while we shot the scene when I pulled Norman’s hair, you remember that one? Miss Hamilton here was about 2 seconds from smacking me in the face after Greg yelled cut after that scene. If Andy hadn’t stopped her, she would have knocked my teeth out.”

“No I wouldn’t!”

Greg handed over his mic to Jessie as she entered the stage and wanted to protest as Jeffrey told his side of the story. She took a seat beside Greg.

“Hi, Jessie!”

“Hi, Greg.”

She leaned in close to the director for a second and he hugged her shoulder.

“Hi, Jessie.”

“Hi, Jeffrey.”

She leaned around Greg and smiled at the man.

“Welcome to your first Walker Stalker.”

“Thank you, honey Am I doing ok? I mean you’ve been on just as many of these as Mr. Nicotero here.”

“You’re doing just great, Mr. Morgan.”

“So, Jessie what’s your side of the story?”

She looked over at the two men conducting the panel.

“Ok, fine I would’ve… I probably would’ve punched him if it hadn’t been for Andy. It was a rough episode for everyone involved, both cast and crew and I… Got caught in the moment. And you did pull his hair pretty damn hard, in my defense.”

“You felt the need to protect your man, I get it, Jess.”

“Yeah… The really bad thing though is that this motherfucker hasn’t even gotten started being an asshole yet.”

She said, making both men beside her laugh. 

“For you who doesn’t know, Jessie is the reason Norman decided to take on the role as Daryl Dixon in the first place. And she’s been on set since pretty much day one with Norman.”

“Yeah, thanks, Greg maybe I should’ve introduced myself since I’m gatecrashing your panel. Hey everyone, I’m Jessie….”

The last words got stuck in her throat as the first letter on her lips had been an H but then she remembered she had signed every photo and book this day with Jessie Reedus and not Hamilton like the day before.

“I’m Jessie Reedus.”

She finally said and she saw Greg glance over at her with raised eyebrows and Jeffrey even leaned forward to look at her. The entire room burst out in spread cheers and applauds and loud chatter.

“Wow, you’re official coming out?”

“Yes, I guess we are.”

“You’re finally confirming the rumors about you and Norman getting married?”

The question came from one of the hosts and she quickly looked at him and answered before turning to Jeffrey.

“Yes, Norman and I got married 2 weeks ago… We’ll get to share the top spot for most hate mails now, Jeffrey.”

“You just sent all them haters to me, hon and I’ll beat the holly hell out of them.”

“Thanks but I’m gonna focus on the love and ignore the haters. I mean I had a pretty damn awesome day yesterday. Just look at my absolutely gorgeous new shoes!”

She lifted her right foot off of the floor.

“That’s amazing… Norman mentioned there was a few other gifts too though, am I right?”

The grin on Jeffrey’s face was enough to tell her what he was referring to and she wondered who many already knew about their new bedroom decoration.

“He never could shut up…! Yeah, I got some absolutely amazing drawings yesterday from Ashlee, so if you’re out there somewhere, thanks a million, you’re super talented and 2 of your pictures are hanging in our bedroom.”

“As the one that’s closest to Norman, which you’ve been for a while now I’m sure, how hard has this season been to get through for him?”

“It’s been rough, no doubt about that.”

“How’s he dealt with this season?”

“It’s been different…Damn, I’m not sure what I can say… How the hell do you do this without spelling the beans…? But there’s been a damn emotional roller coaster for everyone involved from the first episode and it ain’t gotten easier. There’s an episode coming up soon that’s just… fucking rough.”

“Does it get rougher then the first episode?”

“Yeah, it’s… I mean, I cried from the first to the last second of that premier but this one that’s coming up is… It’s for a whole other reason but I’m going to be curled up in a sofa somewhere and just be baling when it airs.”

“The episode she’s referring to will be 7:03 so you won’t have to wait so long for that one.”

Greg added and Jessie nodded.

“As Greg said, you’ve been on this ride with Norman since season one, Jessie and you’ve seen cast members come and gone. Is Jeffrey anything close to Negan?”

She let out a giggle and leaned forward at the same time as Jeffrey did and they looked at each other.

“I’m gonna be honest with ya… I’ve been…”

“A damn hard sale!”

“Yeah. I was kinda scared of him when season 7 began. It took a few months to get use to him and not just see Negan whenever I ran into him. And he and Norman hang out a lot off set but I… I’m not that good with new people. Especially not friend that make their living bashing people’s head in with a fucking bat.”

“She didn’t call me by my first name until like a month ago.”

“Yeah but it’s fine now. He’s nothing like Negan at all, he’s the sweetest guy with a lot of humor and… patience.”    

Someone in the audience shouted out a few words that reached her and she smirked to herself.

“I’m fucking jealous of your husband!”

“You should be…”

She replayed and a laughter and loud _whoa_ went through the crowed. She barley noticed the disturbance that started before Tim was right behind her with his big hand on her shoulder.

“Move. Now.”

The words were low but left no room for argument and before she knew what happened she was backstage and she could hear shouts from the security personal and frightened screams from the audience as well as words of protests coming from the men still left on stage.

“What the hell…?!”

“We’re leaving, Mrs. Reedus. Now.”

“No!”

She snatched back her arm from the man and stared at him with the most furious look she could master. He actually took a step back and she felt pretty damn happy with being able to scare the man shitless just by the look she gave him.

“Mr. Reedus asked me to keep you safe.”

How the hell did he knew she was there? She cursed loudly and turned around on her heal and stalked away from Tim with fury in every step she took. She heard the man curse as well and she knew she was being a real pain in the ass and about 10 hands full to handle but she couldn’t care less. She moved so fast through the crowed that not many people had the chance to actually see that it was her and before she knew it, she was back at her booth.

_Jessie: You’re a fucking dead man, Norman Reedus!!!_

_Norman: I feel kinda alive at the moment_

_Jessie: You won’t be for much longer!_

_Norman: Are you going to let my son grow up without a father?_

_Jessie: Yes! I’m seriously considering murdering you in your sleep! I’ve watched every fucking episode of Criminal Minds and Bones, I know what I’m doing!_

_Norman: Come on babe…_

_Jessie: You better beg on your fucking knees tonight or you’re sleeping at Andy’s again!_

_Norman: How can someone so small be so fucking frightening and annoying???!!!! I’ll come over and beg right now if you want me to_

_Jessie: Yeah, like that’s going to happen with 10 000 people around…_

She typed the last text messages before turning the sound off and pocketing her phone as she greeted the first person in line who wanted her book signed.

                                            -------------------------------

After spending an absolutely amazing evening and night with his wife the, Norman woke up Saturday in an extremely good mood. He worked tirelessly for hours at Walker Stalker and greeted every single fan with a smile on his face. It was Steven who alerted him about what Jessie was up to. Without thinking he sent a quick text to Tim with a simple request to get her out of there right away, not carrying how pissed she would be. Now however, when receiving pretty serious death threats from her, he would’ve liked to taken a second longer to think about what he was doing. She was furious. But at least she was safe. Question was, if he was…

He didn’t do this. Ever! It wasn’t him. He was usually a very private person but he had some damage control to make and it needed to happen sooner rather then later. And the plan in his head was one that he never would’ve thought would form in a public place like this. It took him about an hour after her last text to be able to find some time to take a short break. Quickly, he rushed through the convention center with security on either side of him and sneaked in behind her booth. She was on her feet at the moment, talking to a tall middle-aged woman. The black woman caught his eye as he came up behind Jessie and he quickly begged her to stay quiet. He took a few quick steps and covered her eyes with one hand as he leaned in and kissed her neck softly. She jumped and her hands flew up to the hand covering her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

He whispered in her ear.

“How sorry?”

“I brought pizza.”

He removed his hand and she turned her head around to look at him over her shoulder. His hand lingered on her hip and although she looked pissed she wasn’t pissed enough for him to know exactly what to do, do make it go away and win her back.

“Pepperoni pizza and Pepsi and Ben n Jerry’s…. Chocolate brownie.”

He felt the anger melt away under his touch and although she tried to hide it, he could see a small smile play at the corner of her mouth. She finished talking and signing the book the woman in front of her, while Norman stood close by her side, never taking his hands off of her once, even though he signed an autograph for the woman as well and talked to the 2 teenage girls next in line.

She spent 2 hours after closing hours with Norman at his booth but it wasn’t without effort from either of them. It was only small touches under the table or her walking by behind him close enough for him to feel her breath at the back of his head. He caught her by surprise a few times and sneaked a kiss on her check and he could feel her hand on his butt more then once, making him curse under his breath that he couldn’t just have her on the damn table right now.  

                                            ---------------------------------

“Pull over!”

“Why?”

They hadn’t even reached the I-85 yet when she just gave up and shouted for him to stop the car. He looked over at her at the same time as she reached out for him and the hand on his crotch was answer enough.

“Here?”

“I don’t fucking care where the hell you stop, baby. Just find somewhere to park the damn car.”

“It would make it a lot easier to concentrate if you removed your hand though.”

The moment he said the words, he knew it would have the opposite effect and he cursed to himself for not thinking. She grinned and winked at him.

“You mean this hand…?”

He had been walking around with a hard on for the past hours and the moan that escaped his lips when she palmed him outside his jeans came a lot quicker then he anticipated. He ended up taking the first turn he could find and ended up at a Burger King. He drove to the back of the restaurant and hadn’t even had time to put the car into park before her flick fingers had worked his pants wide open. He was so on edge he couldn’t find it in him to protest when she took him into her mouth and swallowed him. He simply moved his seat back as far as he would go to make more room for her.

“Now, this would make one hell of a beautiful drawing.”

She grabbed his length in both hands and sucked gently at the top of his dick as he spoke and she smiled, looking up at him.

“You’d have a camera, Mr. Reedus.”

“That’s true.”

He reached behind to the backseat and somehow managed to find the camera in his backpack, while still being able to enjoy her amazing treatment to his longing erection.

“Look at me, baby.”

Even in the darkness her green eyes seemed to shine and it took his breath away when she opened her eyes wide and looked straight into the camera with her mouth full of cock as he snapped the photo. She didn’t even blink in the bright light from the flash, she was so used to the camera. They could probably cover every wall in the house with pictures like this.

“Dear God, baby…! Shit, feels so good, J.”

She moaned around him when he let his hand come down hard on her ass as she got up on her knees in her seat.

“Are you going to listen to Tim next time?”

He grabbed the back of her neck and held her head steady and pushed himself hard into her mouth. He felt her protest and her hands strained against his thighs. She tried to turn her head to look at him and without a doubt glare at him but he didn’t let her.

“Jessie, you need to do as your told, it’s for your own protection, you know that.”

She shook her head furiously.

“Jessie?”

He pulled her hair together and made her move around him fast and hard. She started to wriggle under him and once more he smacked her ass hard and she moaned once more and stopped moving. He knew he would never make her agree but it didn’t stop him from wanting to punishing her a little and he knew she secretly loved it.

When he finally let her hair slip free from his fingers, she remained wrapped around him, letting her tongue dance over the head and he lost a little bit of self-control as she looked up at him with wide eyes so full of desire he grabbed her face and forced her into a deep kiss. This was not by far their first tumble in a car but it was their first time with her being pregnant. It turned out it wasn’t the smoothest location but he managed to strip of her pants when she laid back as far she could get on her seat and placed her legs in his lap. He tore the fabric off of her quickly and grabbed her waist, lifting her onto his lap. The moment she wrapped her hot and wet pussy around him, she locked lips with him.

“Now you need to do what you’re told, Mr. Reedus.”

She pulled away and grabbed fistful of hair and pulled his head back. He cursed and dug his hands into her waist as she began to slowly roll her hips around him.

“You need to stop worrying so fucking much. I’ll freely take Tim along to everything I do if you just stop telling the man what to do. He’s my security, not yours. Ok? The only reason he pulled me off of that stage today was because you told him to.”

She bit his right collarbone hard enough to leave marks and he hissed.

“Christ, Jess…!”

She rolled all over her hips all around him and pushed down hard on her insides at the same time, making him curse loudly.

“Fucking shit! Who the hell is using sex as blackmail now? Fucking Christ, Jessie!”

“Only difference is that I know you’ll yield.”

She said and he could feel the smile on her face as she bent down and ran her tongue over her bitemark at the same time as her hands began to twist themselves in his hair. She moved with controlled and slow motions around him, kissing and biting him at just the right places to drive him absolutely insane. When she stopped just when he was about to hit his climax, he let out a roar of frustration.

“So…?”

Once again she tugged his hair hard enough to tilt his head back.

“You’re a fucking devil, you know that?!”

“You just have to yield, baby. You don’t get to tell Tim how to do his job, I do.”

“Only if you thank me for hiring his overprotecting ass first!”

He dropped his hand to her pussy and he let his thumb move in circles over her swollen clit. She finally crumbled under his touch and it was with deep satisfaction that he watched her drop her head to the crook of his neck and whimper.

“Fine…! Thank you. I kinda start to like him.”

“Good. Please, baby move. Fuck me, Jessie, I’m begging you.”

“Promise me!”

She grabbed his face between both hands and forced him to look at her.

“I fucking promise! Holly shit, J what the hell do you want me to do? It’s my damn job to keep you safe.”

“Just don’t get into Tim’s shit, ok? He knows what he’s doing but you gotta let us be in control… Fuck…! He wants the same thing as you do, he just happens to be not so fucking overprotecting like you.”

“Fine, fine, fine…! Holly hell, Jessie! Just fucking move, I’m fucking hurting here!”

He bellowed at her and she leaned back and grinned at him. She grabbed his hands and guided them to grab hold of her waist. He didn’t even need a second to grasp what she needed him to do. She supported herself with her hands pressed against the roof of the car and he helped her bounce up and down his long shaft. Not even a minute past and he felt her explode around him, making him bit down on his lip in an effort not to scream. She came down hard around him and he searched desperately for her lips to be able to contain himself from draw every damn person inside that restaurant out to the parking lot. He grabbed her hard and pulled her down into his arms and held her steady and close as wave after wave of his orgasm made him tremble. He could tell she was experience the same euphoria when her kisses were sloppy and uncontrolled. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself when he thrust his hips up a few more times, making her cum yet again. He felt her nails dig into the back of his head and she gasped in between messy kisses.

“Holly fucking shit…”

Jessie rested her forehead against his shoulder and spoke first after several minutes of silence where they both tried to get their breathing under control.

“Indeed… I love you. And I’m sorry for being an overprotecting asshole.”

“I love you too. Although you’re an overprotecting asshole at times but I get why you are, I really do get it, Norm.”

“Good.”

“I just don’t happen to agree with you every time.”

She remained in his lap for another 5 minutes until the uncomfortable position finally made her kiss him quickly and he helped her move back to her seat.

“I really feel like some milkshake and fries right now.”

She said as she tried to get her pants back on but failed, making Norman giggle at her. She protested and kicked him lightly in the side, half lying across the entire front seat. She gave up and throw her jeans at him and decided to just put her underwear back on. He dumped her cloths to the back seat before starting the car again.

“Fries and milkshake it is, baby.”

_Andy: Jeffrey told me what happened. U ok?_

_Jessie: U 3 gossip worse then old ladies, u know that?_

_Andy: Not important. U ok?_

_Jessie: Yes! Nothing happened. I get about 25 people trying to claim the number 1 spot for biggest fucking overprotecting asshole on planet Earth_

_Andy: I’m damn proud of being on that list baby! Heading home?_

_Jessie: Yeah he stuck around a few more hours_

_Andy: Sure you’re ok baby girl?_

_Jessie: For fuck’ sake! Yes Andy I’m fine. I had an awesome day. You’re coming out tomorrow right?_

_Andy: Yeah. Gonna gatecrash our panel too? ;)_

_Jessie: Maybe_

_Andy: See you tomorrow hon. Take care of yourself and your little one_

_Jessie: ♥_

“What’re you smiling about?”

Norman asked, handing over the drive thru food he had just gotten. She put her phone away and grabbed it.

“Andy’s texting… The gossip is going all the way around your little threesome.”

“Oh, don’t give me any ideas…”

“What…?”

She glanced over at him and took a handful of fries. She was midway through a swallow when she realized what he was referring too. He winked at her when she turned her stunned face around to him. The word echoed inside her head and both Jeffrey and Andy’s faces flashed before her eyes.

“No, no, no, no, don’t… Fuck, Norman don’t…”

“I know you wouldn’t say no to that.”

“I can’t… I can’t… Fuck, I’ll not be able to get that out of my head now. Why the hell do you have to say stuff like that?”

“You started it, babe. Come on, that would be so… fucking hot.”

He said, a huge grin on his face and a tingling feeling going through his entire body, right down to his dick as he pictured her being thoroughly worked over by 2 of his closest friends.  

“Stop! You’re going to have to pull over again if you don’t shut up right now.”

 “I thought we decided not to share anymore.”

“Yeah, but come on, that would be one hell of a gang bang! Sharing you with Andy and Jeffrey wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Stop talking!”

“Are you getting uncomfortable, J? Really? Since when has sex ever been an iss…?”

“Stop talking! I’m getting too many picture’s inside my head right now so just shut up for a second.”

He kept looking back and forth between her and the road as she tried to sort through the image’s he was sure was the same as the once he had. He got flashbacks to that one time he had shared her with Andy and Sean and he had to force himself to really focus on keeping the car on the road.

“Not while I’m still pregnant.”

He heard her speak but at the same not. He heard her snort and as he gave her a quick sideways glance, she shook her head at him with an amused smile on her face.

“Maybe I should leave you alone with your thoughts too, huh?”

“Shut up….! For your information, I was thinking about that one time I got to share you with Andy and Sean. And I realized this could be just as good, if not even better.”

“You’re one dirty fucker, Norman Reedus.”

“And you just love it!”

“Of course… But not while I’m still pregnant.”

“Ok… Fuck, babe you’re not going to be able to walk tomorrow when I’m done with you tonight!”

He reached out a hand and grabbed her thigh and squeezed hard and he was pleased to hear her gasp in anticipation.     


	32. Walker

Jessie didn’t make it to the last day of Walker Stalker. And although she really wished it was for the reason Norman had anticipated the night before, she was able to walk but she had spent the early hours of the Sunday morning hoovering over the toilet. It was really bad, because Norman didn’t even have to tell her twice that she was staying home. He even tried to offer to stay too but the look he received told him to just shut up and leave her alone.

“Call me, whenever, whatever.”

“Yeah. Go. You’re gonna be late.”

He made sure she was tucked in bed with everything she needed within reach before he kissed her hair and left. Before he reached the car, he texted Tim, asking him to head over and keep an eye on her.

_Jessie: Why am I not home alone?_

When she woke up an hour after lunch it took her a few minutes to realize she wasn’t alone in the house. She could hear movement in the kitchen and she didn’t have to think twice to who it was. She texted Norman when she got her mind working again and he responded within seconds.

_Norman: Coz I love you. How are you feeling?_

_Jessie: Not sure yet, just woke up. Let you know later_

_Norman: Thrown up any more?_

_Jessie: No but I feel like crap_

_Norman: You’re always beautiful babe_

_Jessie: Kissing ass are we Mr. Reedus?_

_Norman: No just telling the truth. Be nice to Tim!_

_Jessie: I’ll try_

She felt her head spin a little as she sat up on the edge of the bed and her feet didn’t quite reach the floor. She heard the man whistle to himself and it sounded like he was cooking. The curiosity drove the annoyance aside and she pulled on a onesie and joined him.

“Mrs. Reedus, glad to see you up and about.”

“Ok, there’s some new rules.”

“Omelet?”

The plate of food that was suddenly at her hands made her gape a little at the man in front of her. He could cook. It smelled and looked absolutely amazing and as he produced a glass of freshly made juice and silverware wrapped in a napkin, she had to take a seat in pure astonishment. She knew nothing about this man and he had volunteered to literal die for her if he had to.

“What’s the rules?”

He sat down on the opposite side of her and began to eat his own omelet while waiting for her to start talking. She blinked at the man. His eyes were too small for his face but as she took her time to really look at him, she saw they were an incredible dark brown color. He had a deep, red scar across his left cheek, going down to his jaw. She thought Norman was broad shouldered and muscular to perfection but Tim was taking up half the kitchen counter with his vast size. She imagined he did a lot of running and swimming because he was not buff, simply a big dude that liked to keep himself healthy and fit. She got why Norman had hired him, they probably had a lot in common.

“Why are you here?”

She found herself asking a question instead of answering his and he looked up at her with raised eyebrows, not expecting it at all.

“Mr. Reedus asked me to keep an…”

“No, I didn’t mean like right now. Why did you take the job? Have you always worked security? How old are you anyway?”

“Well, Mrs. Reedus I’m…”

“Ok, first rule of today, skip the Mrs. Reedus crap. It’s Jessie.”

“Ok… I’m 52 years old. And yes, I’ve always worked security somehow. I was working with Mr. Getty before this.”

“So Norman found you through Balthazar?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Why do you do it?”

“I guess I like keeping people safe, make them feel secure.”

“You do a good job… I know I’m pain the ass, a real fucking bitch most of the times but it’s not… It’s not personal, I hope you get that. It’s the whole thing with having to have someone follow every step I take.”

“Trust me, I wish I didn’t have to have this job. I wish people could just respect each other’s private lives but until they do, I’m here to keep you safe, Jessie.”

“Where’re you from?”

“San Francisco but I’ve lived in L.A. pretty much my whole adult life.”

“Family?”

“2 adult daughters and 3 grandkids back in California. My wife past a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry. Where do you live when you’re not here?”

“Mr. Reedus found me an apartment in downtown Senoia, close to the restaurant.”

“How’re you liking the south?”

“Great, I really enjoy living here. It’s a whole other word compared to L.A.”

“I never really thanked you for that, did I? What happened at LAX?”

“It’s my job, no need to thank me.”

“I’m gonna anyway, so thank you for keeping me and the baby safe.”

“You’re welcome. How are you feeling?”

“Fine. Did Norman talk to you this morning?”

“No more then asking me to head over here to keep an eye on you instead of heading into Atlanta.”

“Ok. We made a deal last night. I know he’s not going to stick to it but I want you to. You might have noticed he’s a tad overprotecting.”

“Yeah…?”

“So for now on, you work for me and not him, ok?”

“What does that mean?”

“That I want you to ignore his texts with stupid request like getting me off of that stage yesterday or checking my car for explosives every damn morning. You know what you’re doing and I really do feel safe with you. If you tell me we need to go, I’ll go but not because he asks you to. And I will know, trust me.”

“I’ve kinda figured that out already. You’ve a 6th sense when it comes to Mr. Reedus.”

“Yes I do. And I promise I’ll give you my schedule whenever I go out, to work or other events but I still need you to be invisible. Think you can do that?”

“Of course, whatever you need, Jessie.”

“Thanks. And thank you for the food, you’re a really good cook.”                       

“Thank you.

                                            ------------------------------------

It finally sunk it when he held the actual script in his hand. After this episode, there would be no more Daryl Dixon. He would have to say goodbye to 7 years of hard work in just 9 days’ time. He thought he had been ok with it, that he had processed the whole thing enough with everyone around him but it was so final when he finally sat in his trailer on the first day of filming the next to last episode. He hadn’t been able to sleep that night and the sun wasn’t even up yet but he was already there. Usually Andy was the first person on set but today he was and it was so quiet. The script had been in his trailer after they wrapped up the last episode but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to read it yet. He knew what was going to happen on the whole and although it was the perfect ending, just the way he would like it to end, it still got too much to handle when he finally started to read.

Andy joined him sometime during the early hours of the morning but they didn’t say anything. He just simply walked into Norman’s trailer, brining coffee like he always did and they sat quiet drinking and reading until they were both finished. The usual excitement about what they were about to do was lacking though. A lot of scrips had been like this, this season. So damn heavy it was hard to find the same kind of excitement they had had earlier episodes. Characters were being killed off left, right and center and it took its toll on everyone.  

“You ok?”

“No… Not at all. I thought I’d be but… Did you find the matches?”

He knew Norman was kidding, simply trying to lift his own spirit and when Andy actually reached into his jeans pockets and produced a match box and threw it on the table, Norman cracked up in a huge smile.

“Thanks, man. Knew I could always count on you.”

“Of course, Norm. I’ll help you out.”

“Yeah…”

“What do you need me to do?”

Norman lifted his head and watched his best friend for a long time. He tried to take in the words coming from the Britt and wonder if there actually was something he could do this week. The mere gesture made him teary eyed.

“Just do what we always do, Andy. We’re going to fucking kill this episode, man.”

“You always do, Norman… Where’s Jessie?”

“I asked her not to come out.”

“Why?”

“I… I…She don’t have to see this and she’s still sick. Not as bad as yesterday but…”

He could tell Andy wanted to protest when he trailed off but he swallowed it back and simply nodded.

“Alright.”

                                            -------------------------------

The tears were as real as they could get. It was not in the script that he would be crying but there was no stopping them. It was Andy crying all mixed together with Rick Grimes crying over the fact that they had wrapped the first scene of the day. The first. Not the last. He wondered how the hell he was going to get through this. It was going to be the worst fucking week of his life. He wanted to be able to pull himself together for Norman’s sake but it had failed already during the first scene.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up…”

He was talking to himself, begging Jessie to just pick up her phone. He had walked away from the production, asked to be left alone for a few minutes. As the 5th signal ended with her voicemail starting, he cursed and ended the call.

_I know Norm told you not to come but I’m going to ask you anyway. He needs you here. Fuck, I need you here J! I’m going to fucking pieces…_

He typed the text and sent it to her, hoping she would read it as soon as she woke up or whatever she was doing. He wasn’t use to her not picking up the phone when he called but then he knew she had been really sick the day before. He wanted to kick himself for being so selfish and above all emotional and weak. He wanted her to be there so that he could have something else to focus on. The growing life inside her wasn’t just the light in Norman’s life right now. It was sort of his too but mainly because it made him so silly happy, seeing Norman happy. So that was what he decided to focus on as he headed back to set; the fact that his best friend was the happiest man on the planet and it didn’t matter that he was being killed off the show. Norman would be happy as long as he had Jessie and their growing bump. But it would really help to just see here right now…  

                                            ----------------------------

“Hey…”

Jessie had to restrain herself not to snarl a replay as the first person to greet her as she finally made it to set in the afternoon, was Denise. Her eyes narrowed and she felt herself scowl as the woman carefully approached her.

“Hi.”

Her answer was short and she walked past the woman quickly.

“Can you… Do you have a minute?”

“No.”

“Jessie, please I need to… Apologize.”

“Now you have… Feel better?”

She knew she was acting like a hormonal teenage bitch but Denise had tried so many times to talk to her but she had walked away every time. Now she finally stopped for a second but couldn’t find it in her to look at the woman but kept her back to her. She could feel Denise move closer behind her.

“I’m really sorry about what happened, Jessie. It was never my intent to…”

“To what? Make copies of our private pictures?!”

The lack of sleep the past couple of nights wasn’t helping her temper and she saw the woman take a step back when she finally turned around and faced her. Jessie shoved her hands deep into her pockets and hoped it would be enough to make them stay there.

“I was just so happy for you guys and I…”

“Kinda weird way to show it, don’t you think? Selling us out to the press?!”

“I never meant for those pictures to end up in the media, Jessie. Please, you have to believe that. I shouldn’t have had those photos in my phone.”

“No, you shouldn’t!”

“But I can’t do anything about the fact that someone stole my phone and….”

“You know what, I don’t care what fucking story you feed to Norman, it ain’t gonna work with me so safe your fucking breath. Just stay the hell away from me! You and I were never friends and we never will be and it hadn’t been for Norman I would’ve kicked your ass to the fucking ground by now. He might have forgiven you but I won’t so do yourself a favor and stay the fuck away from me!”

She turned on her heal and headed towards the trailers but before she reached Norman’s, Greg was in front of her.

“What?!”

She hadn’t meant to snap at him but Denise hadn’t really lifted her spirits. The producer rose both hands in defense in front of him.

“Sorry…”

“No, Greg.”

She sighed and apologized.

“I’m sorry… What’s up?”

“Andy called you?”

“Texted me, yes.”

“He probably needs to see you. Like, right now.”

“Ok. Where is he?”

“Come on.”     

She followed Greg into the community the rest of the world knew as Alexandria. It was an absolutely amazing autumn afternoon in the state of Georgia. The trees had turned yellow and red and the sun made them glitter as the night before had seen a light rainfall. She found herself wanting to take in her surroundings for a second and her steps slowed. She knew she would be back again but it would be different after this week. There were people moving around everywhere and she saw a few zombies as well as they made their way through the streets. Greg had slowed down beside her as well and she felt his hand on her back.

“You ok?”

“Yeah… It just hit me that’s never going to be the same.”

“I know.”

He stopped a few yards before they reached the lake. He gestured to the small dock and she shielded her eyes from the sun and spotted Andy at the end, his feet hanging off the edge. Although she was far away from him, she could tell he was, or had been, crying. His head was hanging and he looked completely defeated. She hugged Greg’s side for a second and he kissed her hair before she walked away. Jessie approached with carefully steps, not really wanting to disturb him but at the same time he had asked her to come. He jumped a little when her fingers landed feather light in his curls. He lifted his head and locked eyes with her as she sat down close beside him.

“Hi.”

His eyes were red shot and swollen and she guessed he had been crying on and off since morning. She placed a comforting hand on his back and he dropped his head to her shoulder.

“He’s going to be ok, right?”

She understood what he meant without having to ask. He was worried about Norman, how he would handle losing Daryl Dixon.

“Are you?”

“I didn’t think it would be this hard. I thought we’d talked about enough, processed it together, all of us but now… I don’t want to do this, Jessie. I don’t want to do this without him.”

“Andy, listen… I know it’s not going to be same next season when you get back here again but you know he’s not going anywhere, right? He’ll call you every single day, you know that. You might not see each other every day like now but nothing else is going to change. You’re his best friend, Andy, you’re always going to be. Rather there’s a Daryl Dixon or not. I mean, has there been a single day for the past 5 years that you haven’t talked to each other, even though you’re on either side of the Atlantic? We’ll still be here when you get back in April of next year, Andy.”

She allowed him to ponder her words for a moment. Finally she heard him take e deep breath and he lifted his head from her shoulder. She gave the man a small smile and caressed his face. He leaned in to her hand and kissed her palm.

“Are you happy, Jessie?”

“Yes.”

“He’s happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen him. He’s so excited about this, Jessie.”

One hand landed on her bump and she grabbed it at once and guided it to the place she could feel the most movement. She saw his face relax and lit up in a beautiful smile.

“I know… How about you spend the weekend at our place? I know you wife left yesterday and I’ll be out of town this weekend so you can have 2 days all to yourselves. You’re gonna need it after this week.”

“Where’re you going?”

“I’ve been asked to go to New York with some of my students to visit Julliard.”

“You’ve Julliard worthy students?”

“I’ve students who’re considering applying, yes.”

“Can they make it?”

“If they really want to, yes they might. So pack your sleepover bag and come have a slumber party with my husband this weekend.”

“What the fuck, J, we’re not 12 years old!”

“Yeah you are… I love you, Andy. You know that, right?”

“I do, I’m just trying to get use to you actually telling me. I love you too, Jessie. Thanks for coming out. I really needed this right now.”

“I was going to come out anyway. I know he told me to stay home but I was never going to stay home. Not now. Where’s he anyway?”

“In his trailer, taking a nap. What’ve you been doing the last couple of nights, he says he hasn’t been sleeping at all.”

“Well… Saturday night was…”

“Wait, I’m not sure I want to know.”

“I’m sure Norman will tell you all about it this weekend, even if you don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, I’ll get to hear every excruciating detail, I’m sure.”

“Good thing you’ve 2 days then…”

She teased and laughed when Andy’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You’re fucking insane.”

“Yeah… How long has he been asleep?”

“Why?”

“How long until you’re supposed to start again?”

“Like half an hour. What’s on your mind, Jess?”

“You think he’s up for a little prank today?”

“He’s always up for pranks, babe. Do tell me what’s on your mind.”

                                            -------------------------------------

He was debating back and forth whether to ask Jessie to come out or not. He knew she wanted to be there but he had turned down her offer. He knew he would be a mess this week and although he could use her support right now, he didn’t want her to see him like this. He knew it was silly, that he simply didn’t want her to worry about him, because she would anyway. But she shouldn’t have to worry about anything else then simply keep herself and their baby healthy so he had asked her to stay home.

_Norman: This really sucks…_

_Jessie: I’m sorry baby. I could come out if you want me to_

_Norman: No, you need to stay home and get some rest, shake off whatever bug you’re having_

_Jessie: Pretty sure it’s prego related_

_Norman: Have you eaten?_

_Jessie: I bonded with Tim over some pretty damn good omelets_

_Norman: Glad to hear it. I love you so fucking much J_

_Jessie: Love you more_

He ended up with a huge smile on his face and a whole lot lighter heart when she texted a picture of the growing life inside her. He felt a little less panicky now when they had sort out their living arrangements but there was still so much to be done. And although he really needed to sleep, he spent his time during breaks and between takes on his phone, looking up and ordering everything and anything he thought a baby nowadays needed.

The morning had been going as planed besides some emotional break downs from the cast around him. Andy had been the worst, ending up crying even on camera although he wasn’t suppose to. But after their afternoon break, he seemed a lot better. It made Norman confused and he didn’t like feeling confused around Andy, it wasn’t something he usually felt. He thought he knew Andy inside and out but he was acting weird. Weirder then usual. Andy was up to something, sneaking off to the make-up trailer between takes and checking his phone more then he did and that was saying something!

As the final scene of the day was coming up, Andy was totally failing in trying to keep a straight face when he walked up to his friend and offered him a cup of coffee.

“You know I’ll figure out what the hell you’re up to.”

“What…? I’m not doing a thing.”

Andy said, pressing his lips tightly together in an effort to hide his amused smile.

“Whatever, dude… Fuck you.”

“Yeah, I love you too, dude.”

He grabbed the crossbow and swung it to his back and headed over to Chandler and Danai, really annoyed over the fact that he had no idea what Andy was up to.

As they had gone through a couple of takes for the last scene of the day and the sun had faded into the west and he once again found himself surrounded by walkers he was supposed to kill alongside a few of his coworkers, it all happened really fast. The moment the director yelled _action_ and he was already in complete Daryl mood, the entire scenario in front of him changed. He saw Andy ran the complete opposite direction he was suppose to and Chandler was going off script too and charged at an Alexandrian. His followed Andy in slow motion and he was on the ground with a walker on top of him and he thought he heard Andy call his name or maybe Rick call out for Daryl, he wasn’t sure. He was so confused he didn’t know what the hell to do. Then there was the blood. So much blood coming out of Andy’s throat as the female walker took a big bite out of him. Andy was yelling but choking at the same time and Norman was paralyzed. He knew it was fake, that it wasn’t real but he couldn’t understand what the hell was going on. And then she got up from the ground and came at him and he knew without really knowing how he knew that it was Jessie. Because she didn’t look anything like Jessie. There was a walker coming at him and she knocked him to the ground and he actually cried out when she bit down on the side of his neck. It was hearing her snigger in his ear that finally made him come to his senses again. He heard everyone around him laughing. Andy was still on the ground, twisting around in hysterical laughter and Chandler was doubling over as well. She placed a very wet and bloody kiss on his lips and she leaned back on her heels, still straddling his hips.

“Bet no one’s ever gotten Daryl Dixon on his back like this before.”

She was so quick, digger her phone out from behind her back that he didn’t even have time to protest before the flash on her camera went off.

“That’s just… motherfucking creepy, babe. You look fucking gross.”

He leaned up on his elbows and moved quickly, getting her on her back without putting his own weight over her bump. He locked her arms over her head and held her down.

“I really should put a bolt through your brain, you know, crazy fucking bitch…!”

 She just grinned hugely at him when he spoke.

“You should’ve seen yourself. That’s the best fucking prank you’ve come up with, Andy.”

“Hey! Don’t you go claim credit for this!”

Jessie protested when she heard Chandler speak to Andy. Norman looked around and found the onscreen father and son standing only feet away from them. Andy was still weeping tears out of his eyes and trying to catch his breath.

“I helped!”

Andy protested right back when Jessie pushed at his shoulders and wanted to get up.

“Yeah…”

She got to her feet a lot smoother and quicker then him.

“Awesome job, Mr. Lincoln!”

She high-fived the Britt and Norman felt himself scowl as they turned back at the same time and looked at him. It was a pretty good prank he had to admit that. He knew he would be laughing his ass off about this both once and twice but at the moment he was still too confused and a little pissed that Andy had been able to play him like this.

“This was your idea?”

Jessie nodded proudly back at him.

“But Andy helped and Greg and…”

“Yeah, yeah I get it. You got me…Well played, bro.”

“Thank you… Make sure you put this up on Facebook, or tweety, or whatever the hell it is.”

It was Norman’s turn to burst out in a fit of laughter as he watched both Jessie and Chandler roll their eyes at Andy.

“Youtube, Andy. Trust me, I will.”

“You know you’re going to get fucking punished for this, right?”

Jessie bit her lower lip when he walked right up into her personal space and grabbed her hips. Although she was in full zombie make-up, he could still see the same eyes he had drown in from day one. It was creepy as hell.

“I’m counting on it.”

She whispered quietly as she leaned in and kissed him under the ear.


	33. Handyman

Helena looked up from her task at getting dinner together, when she heard the soft clinking of the piano. Quickly she located her son and Jessie sitting beside him. From her position, she couldn’t tell if Jessie was playing too but it made her smile either way. Mingus was all smiles whenever he got the chance to spend some time with his father’s girlfriend. Wife… She had never thought Norman would get married. He had never shown the slightest interest in marriage when they had been dating. But then she hadn’t tried to run away from him a few times a year. She would never understand how the hell they ended up together or what they had had through the years but she had found it in herself to put all that aside and focus on what they had now. She had been jealous for sure. Jealous about the fact that Mingus seemed so at ease with Jessie. He seemed just as comfortable with her as he did with his own parents and it had taken a few years not to see her as competition. Helena had never wanted another kid. Norman had and it was one of the reasons they hadn’t worked out. Mingus had talked about siblings for years and the woman by her son’s side was actually finally giving him a little brother or sister. And for that she was thankful and happy. She was happy for Norman. He deserved every bit of happiness.

She felt her jaw drop when the woman opened her mouth and began to sing along to the soft tunes. She hadn’t paid much attention to what it was Mingus was playing but as Jessie began to sing _All I ask of You_ from Phantom of the Opera, Helena stopped what she was doing and turned her full attention to the duo by the piano. She knew of course that Jessie had grown up on Broadway but she had never had the impression that she sang. It seemed they had done this duet before because they seemed so in sync with each other as Mingus adjusted the notes after her voice. Mingus joined in the songs chorus and Helena felt her throat got thick with emotions. She knew she had a talented son but seeing and hearing them together was a new experience for her. They made an amazing duo and she started to search desperately for her phone to be able to record this moment, so she would be able to relive it whenever she wanted.

“Oh my God….”

“Come on, mom don’t get all emotional.”

Her son lifted his head when the last notes of the piano faded and Jessie followed suit but bowed her head quickly when Helena looked at them. She couldn’t help but feel a little proud over the fact that Jessie still was a little bit intimated by her but she smiled warmly at the two of them.

“You’re amazing, Jessie. It sounded really good.”

“Thanks.”

“I thought you only danced.”

“Well, yeah it was always my focus but dad was a vocal couch among other things so singing was always there too. I mean, I’m no Christina Aguilera…”

“You’re great, Jessie come on.”

Jessie leaned in to Mingus as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and hugged her and kissed the side of her head. Jessie got to her feet and walked over to the kitchen and without asking, continued making the salad Helena had started.

“You don’t have to…”

Helena turned away from the stove after checking the dinner quickly.

“No, it’s fine, I want to help.”

“Alright.”

Mingus kept playing the piano while the two women busied themselves around the kitchen.

“Can I ask you…? How was Norman when you were pregnant?”

“He’s driving you insane, right?”

“Yes!”

“You just gotta ride it out, Jess, sorry. There’s nothing you can do about it. He’s overprotecting by nature, he has a big heart with a lot of love and he will always worry about you. And now… Now when there’s not just you anymore, it gets worse. So just make things easier for you and go with it.”

“I’d agreed to a body guard.”

“That’s a start. He won’t worry less because of it but hopefully it will take away the worst anxiety. It’s a big guy, right?”

“Huge.”

“He’s here with you?”

“Yeah, he dropped me off and he’ll pick me up. And all though I asked him to go back to the apartment, I’m pretty sure he sitting outside the entrance in the car, waiting cause Norman told him to always keep an eye on me.”

“How are you doing? Really?”

The younger woman stopped cutting the tomato’s and looked up at her with a confused look on her face. She seemed to wonder why she would ask the question but after a few seconds seeming to understand Helena really want to know.

“I’m… I’m doing ok. Physical it’s really good, except last Sunday when I kept throwing up for hours…”

“But?”

“But mentally I’m going a bit crazy. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen and it’s… just scary as hell.”

“Have you talked to him about this?”

“Yeah… Well, no… I don’t know, maybe…”

“What is that’s so scary?”

“Just the fact that we’re going to have a baby is… I never, in a million years thought this was going to happen. I knew that it could, cause it has before, but not now, not ever really and…”

“You got pregnant before?”

Both women jumped when Mingus suddenly spoke and they looked up and found him on the side of the counter. Either of them had noticed that he had stopped playing at all. Helena looked back and forth between her son and Jessie. They kept staring at each other and although she didn’t really approve of always letting the boy in on everything that was going on his parent’s life, Helena got slightly surprised when Jessie didn’t even seem to give it a second thought before she nodded.

“Yeah. Back in 2010 I got pregnant…”

“With Norman?”

Helena asked the question without thinking and she knew she probably deserved the angry little sideways glance Mingus gave her.

“Yeah.”

“What happened? You lost it?”

“No. I did an abortion. You dad never knew about it, I didn’t tell him until a few months ago.”

“Why?”

“You know why. Things weren’t like they are now between us… Don’t think I don’t want this, Mingus. I do, I’m really looking forward to having this baby but it’s still scary as fuck and it’s not like we’ve had all that much time to get use to it. Hopefully when they wrap season 7 it will be a little easier but right now… It’s crazy. There’s no time for anything.”

“What do you need?”

“About 20 hours of undisturbed sleep would be good but then I would freak out over the fact that we haven’t done any real shopping yet so…”

“Let’s do that then. Tomorrow, we can go shopping tomorrow. The Julliard tour can’t take all day and you’re going in the morning, right?”

“Yeah… You want to go shopping?”

“Yes! I want to help.”

“Would that be ok?”

Only the gesture that Jessie actually asked her, made Helena feel an unfamiliar appreciation towards her that she never had felt before.

“Of course… I really appreciate that you ask though. I would like you to bring… what’s his name?”

“Tim. Yeah, I’ll bring Tim.”

                                            --------------------------------

_Jessie: A blue or grey stroller?_

Norman wiped his hands on his pants, getting even more spots on them then before, when his phone vibrated. He opened up the picture and looked at two identical looking strollers, only difference was the color.

_Norman: Where’re you?_

_Jessie. Buybuy baby with your son_

_Norman: You’re shopping? It’s like 10 pm…_

_Jessie: Your son is a shopaholic, we’ve been at it for 6 hours now, I can’t make him fucking leave!_

_Norman: Sure that’s really that other way around babe ;)_

_Jessie: Fuck you!_

_Norman: The blue one, I like the navy blue one_

_Jessie: Good, thanks. What’re you doing?_

_Norman: I’m not saying…_

_Jessie: Am I interrupting your threesome with Andy and Jeff?_

_Norman: Jeff ain’t here… And I thought you wanted to be part of it_

_Jessie: I’m gonna keep spending your money now…_

_Norman: You do that. Love you_

_Jessie: Love you too_

He pocketed the phone again and picked up the painting brush back up to put the final touches to the text on the wall he was working on. _Lil’ asskicker._ Behind him in the middle of the room on the floor Andy was kneeling with a screwdriver in his hand, putting the last screw into place. He got to his feet, stretched and yawned loudly.

“There… Last damn screw. Right? You don’t need anything more then this? 2 dressers, a crib, changing table, there’s not any more furniture’s you need me to put together, right?”

“No, that’s it. Thanks, man.”

“No problem… What if it’s a girl?”

Andy sat down in a white rocking chair and took a closer look around the room. They had spent every waking hour since Jessie left Friday night in the room that had served as guestroom before. In just a day a half they had turned into a fully functional and if he was to say so himself, beautiful nursery. Norman had picked out an aqua color and all white furniture’s and a grey, absolutely amazingly soft and shaggy carpet that Andy just wanted to sleep on. All that was placed in the middle of the room at the moment, all packed together until the walls dried.

“This is Jessie’s favorite color, you’re saying girls can’t sleep in a blue room? You think they will start to grow balls or something?”

“I think it’s a girl…. Without balls.”

They were both so damn tired everything seemed 10 funnier at the moment and when Norman sniggered, Andy followed and within second they were both laughing so much Andy could feel his eyes start to tear.

“Seriously though….”

It took a good 5 minutes to calm down and when Andy finally spoke, Norman had ended up lying flat on his back on the floor.

“Seriously though, man… This is really beautiful. Whoever it is that ends up here, is going to love it. Please let’s do the decoration tomorrow though. I can’t even see straight.”

“Yeah… I’m not picking up Jessie until tomorrow night anyway.”

“She’s going to love it.”

“I hope so… I hope it’s a girl.”

Norman sighed deeply and tried to find enough energy to get to his feet but he was too comfy lying there on the floor, smelling the fresh paint mixed together with new furniture and hearing Andy’s breathing getting heavier in the chair. He picked up his phone and opened up Instagram to update himself on what was going on in his friends and family’s social lives at the moment. He had developed a habit, and probably a pretty bad one, of searching the hashtag jessiereedus or mrsreedus. Today it was mostly paparazzi pictures of her out and about New York that popped up. He smiled when some of them also included Mingus. As he browsed his search he was suddenly alerted to Helena tagging him in a picture and he quickly looked it up.

_I bet it’s a baby girl this time @bigbaldhead ;)_   _can’t wait to see who this little person inside you turns out to be @jessiereedus_

Helena never could put away her camera. This time, his wife had ended up in front of it. Or rather her naked belly in a beautiful black and white silhouette with Manhattan in the background. He reposted the picture with the words; _can’t wait to meet you lil’ asskicker_ ♥ before he texted Helena. 

_Norman: Thank you for the pic, beautiful as always_

_Helena: Hard not to get a beautiful pic when working with your wife_

_Norman: Wow, when the hell did that happen? You’re so nice to her!_

_Helena: I know, I’m pretty shocked too…_

_Norman: Really though, thank you_

_Helena: You’re welcome. I would love to shoot the both of you sometime_

_Norman: Hell yeah! Let’s do that when we get back in a few weeks_

_Helena: Sure_

_Norman: Is Mingus home?_

_Helena: Not yet. They’re out shopping. Have been pretty much all day. Jessie said you were having a slumber party with Andy ;)_

_Norman: Yeah, he’s been here since she left. Don’t tell her, want it to be a surprise, but we’ve been making a nursery_

_Helena: That’s great Norm! She’s really stressed about this, u know…_

_Norman: I know, hopefully it will be one less thing to worry about_

_Helena: You really should make her go talk to someone before she’s due_

_Norman: I am, when we’re back in New York_

_Helena: Good_

                                            ----------------------------

Landing in Atlanta late Sunday night was an adventure from the first step she took outside the plane with Tim right at her heel. They were making small talks at the luggage carousel, waiting for all her shopping, when people around them started to take notice of her. Saying she had gotten use to it now was to stretch the truth, but she had learned the different steps. First came the whispers with one’s family and friends, then came the smart phones, trying discreetly to take a picture, then someone was the first brave soul to approach her. Then everyone else seemed to think it was ok to follow that one first person and a miner chaos usually broke out. But because Atlanta was Atlanta and every other American knew about the show, they also automatically knew about her and the miner chaos went overboard so much quicker then anywhere else.  

“What the hell happened?”

She pretty much fell into the back-passenger seat and Tim jumped in right after, quickly closing the door behind him.

“Just hold up for a few seconds so they can load in the luggage.”

She leaned forwards and kissed his cheek at the same time Norman glanced into the review mirror and saw airport personal open the trunk of the car.

“You were not kidding about spending my money…”

The stuff being loaded into the car didn’t seem to end and Norman had to turn around took look at his wife with wide, surprised eyes.         

“What?”

“Nothing… I love you.”

“See? Pay up!”

Jessie held out her hand to the man beside her. He sighed and rolled his eyes at her as he reached for his wallet and place a 20 in her palm.

“Thank you.”

“What the hell did you bet on?”

“Whether you would freak out and yell at me for shopping or not.”

Jessie fell asleep, leaning to the window after not even 10 minutes of driving and the car ride continued in a comfortable silence with the radio on low volume. Tim had already reported to him about how their weekend had been and although he knew he had agreed, Norman was pretty sure Jessie knew he wasn’t going to keep to their deal. When it came to her safety he was a control freak and not even ashamed to admit it.

“Babe?”

She groaned when he opened the car door and reached out for her. She wasn’t as easy to carry anymore and after this week’s shooting and spending two days playing handyman, he was pretty soar all over.

“It’s 10 minutes to 9…”

She snapped her eyes open and seemed wide awake at once. Just like he had predicted she would. He smiled and kissed her when she sat up.

“It’s naked Daryl Dixon time!”

He felt himself blush slightly as she beamed and moved out of the car in lightning speed, grabbing him by the hand as she moved.

“What about all this stuff?”

“It can wait. Come on.”

He found it fascinating to watch her watching _Walking Dead._ He had always loved hearing all her interesting comments and opinions, especially this season. She had seen it all from a different point of view this season, cause she had been there through it all. Not this entire episode though. He had banned her from set for the simple reason of getting through the naked scenes without having to worry about getting an erection at the wrong time.

_May 2016 – Georgia_

_This season sucked. It really did and he was exhausted already and he had only done 1 episode this far. Although he was actually in the second episode they were making, he stuck around set most of the time anyway just to support his fellow cast members. And Jessie loved being there too, so it was a no brainer really._

_She was in Norman’s trailer alone while he was hanging out with Melissa at the moment. She was doing some research about different dance studios in Atlanta when someone knocked on the door and entered after she called out to whoever it was to do so. She kept her eyes on the screen as the man at the door cleared her throat._

_“What, Scoot?”_

_She lifted her gaze and came face to face with the showrunner. She smiled hugely inside at the nervous look on his face. He had always been nervous around her for the simple reason of not being able to control her. He never knew where he had her and although she knew it was pretty fucked up, she loved the fact that AMC was scared shitless to make the wrong move around her. They knew, or rather, they had learned that not treating her with just as much respect as Norman, could backfire hard. She just didn’t care about whatever contract they had made her sign. She knew she would never break the contract but it was pretty funny to watch everyone expect Greg tip on their toes around her._

_“Norman’s not here?”_

_“No, I think he’s with Melissa. Is that the new script?”_

_She nodded towards the stack of papers in his hand and the man quickly looked down at them before placing them on the table with hesitation._

_“I’m not going to chew your arm off…”_

_“You’ll make sure he gets it?”_

_“I’ll make sure he gets it.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“Can I read it?”_

_“Since when do you ask permission? You never do as your told anyway.”_

_She chuckled and Scoot actually smiled a little at her when he back out of the trailer. Quickly she grabbed the papers and started to read the episode that was called “The Cell.”_

_Norman was enjoying lunch with Melissa and Andy when his phone buzzed with an incoming text from Jessie._

Get back to your trailer now!

_Confused he typed back a quick why? The answering text made him chock on his water and Andy thumped him hard in the back. Quickly he put the phone and the picture of his completely nude girlfriend in his trailer with a leather whip between her legs away, before Andy could get a glimpse of it and just start to ask stupid questions._

_“I gotta go… Thanks for lunch, see you guys.”_

_He rose quickly and kissed them both on the cheek before either of them had time to react to him getting to his feet. He tried not to run towards his trailer but as he finally saw it, he sprinted the last bit and took the 4 steps in one big leap, almost falling through the door. All the light in the trailer except for one was turned off and he could only make out her silhouette on the bed. She was laying on her belly with bent legs, the black whip playing in her hands. He turned and locked the door just in case._

_“You need to take your cloth’s off, Mr. Dixon. Now.”_

_“Yes, ma’am.”_

_He answered, his voice thick with the southern accent._

_“Do you need to be punished for something, baby girl?”_

_He quickly stripped down the little he wore and stopped beside the bed by her head. She looked up at him, biting her lower lip in anticipation._

_“I’ve been reading your script… So you tell me, Mr. Dixon. Do I need to be punished for that?”_

_“You most certainly do, hon. Give me that.”_

_He tugged the whip away from her and began pacing back and forth the few steps he could, watching every inch of her. Her curvaceous hips and ass drew his gaze at once. He ran the leather lightly over her back and he smiled when he heard her whimper. She cursed under her breath as the whip came down hard on her left cheek. He didn’t even give her a second to react to the first blow, the second followed even harder on her right cheek. The third and fourth hit hard enough to leave marks on her, he knew would make her soar even tomorrow. He pulled her up to her knees at the edge of the bed before dropping to his own knees right behind her. She was laying with her face pressed to one side and looked back at him with tears in her eyes. He knew it had hurt but no more then she could take._

_“Well, what about that, Mr. Dixon. That’s some punishment I could get use to.”_

_“Now, baby be still and keep your pretty lil’ mouth shut and you might be getting the same punishment again.”_

_He ran one hand gently over her red ass and she moaned softly as his lips made contact with her skin._

_“You better watch your mouth, sunshine.”_

_He saw her shut her mouth tightly and her eyes followed not shortly after as he continued to kiss and caress her behind. She had always been loud when it came to sex. From the beginning, she had been very vocal and loud in the bedroom, or wherever the hell they ended up fucking and he was there for very impressed that she could keep so quit as he did what he did best._

_“Fuck, girl you’re so fucking wet today.”_

_He pushed two long fingers inside her and moaned himself when he felt just how wet she was. He was painfully hard and felt the precum dropping onto the floor but he wanted to make it up to her first. He bit her lightly before allowing his tongue to enter her from behind. She tensed under his hands but remained quiet. She trembled and squirmed under his hands and as her orgasm hit hard and long, he had no choice but to drop one hand to his swollen cock._

_“Shit, baby you taste mighty fine. As always.”_

_He got to his feet, stroking himself slowly._

_“Turn around and look at me, baby girl.”_

_She gasped as she turned and laid her eyes on him. He smirked and winked at her, earning him an even wider smile back as she reached out for him and yanked him on top of her. He wasted no time at all and pushed himself inside her hard. She wrapped her legs around him and grabbed hold of his back as they locked lips and he started to move inside her. He didn’t last long and neither did she. They collapsed in a sweaty heap, drowning each other’s screams by kissing hard. He continued to move until he felt himself go limb inside her and she stopped contracting around him._

_“Well, Mrs. Dixon you should read my scrips more often.”_

_“Well, when the first lines says “Daryl Dixon naked and dirty in a cell”, I can’t make any promises.”_

_“You’re not going to be on set when that happens, I’m telling your right now, babe.”_

_“Why the hell not?”_

_“Cause it would be fucking hard to explain why Daryl Dixon all of a sudden walks around with a fucking hard on in the middle of the apocalypse.”_

_“Are you banning me, Norman Reedus?”_

_“Yes, I’m banning you, Jessie Hamilton.”_

_“Fuck you!”_

_“Yeah, fuck me…”_

He watched her probably more then the TV. She was sitting cross legged on the edge of the sofa at the beginning of the episode, leaning forwards as though she couldn’t get close enough to the screen. As a scene of Daryl being beaten up showed, she moved down on the floor, hugging a pillow tightly to her body. She was sitting right under the TV screen when the credits rolled, tears streaming down her face in silence.

“Why are you crying?”

“Cause I want to murder Jeffrey next time I see him. And Austin. And Scoot. And Robert. And… Every other fucking person who ever put a hair out of place on your pretty little head.”

He chuckled and moved down on the floor to join her. He tugged gently at the pillow on her hands and after she let go of it, leaned as close to her as he could get and grabbed her face between his hands.

“Do you need something to cheer you up? Getting your mind off of murdering people?”

“Yes please.”

“Good, cause I’ve something to show you.”

He rose quickly and held out a hand to her. He let out a soft giggle when he could tell she had expected something else entirely.

“Don’t worry, babe we’ll get to that part too. But first I gotta show you what I’ve been doing while you spent a shitload of my money.”

She took his hand and got to her feet. He moved to stand behind her and placed a hand over her eyes.

“Don’t peek.”

“Norman, what the hell…? You know I don’t like surprise.”

“I don’t give a shit tonight. Suck it up and move.”

He pushed her gently forwards and she moved with his guidance down the hallway. He stopped two doors away from their bedroom and he knew she could smell the paint.

“What crazy art project have you been working on this weekend?”    

“You’ll see.”

He watched her take it all in for the very first time. He, Andy and Alanna had been decorating the room to perfection the entire day. He had even spent hours folding and hanging baby cloth’s in the closet and making sure the changing table was already set with everything Alanna had told him was supposed to be there. Jessie was standing stock still a few steps inside the door, staring around in absolute shock. He could tell she tried to say something but she wasn’t able to form words when she opened her mouth. Finally she seemed to get over the shock and she moved into the room, walking slowly through it and touched the furniture’s with light fingers. She moved around twice before stopping by the white crib and her eyes scanned the writing over it. He felt himself get a little nervous when she took a little too long for his liking to turn around. Carefully he stepped up behind her and placed a hand at the small of her back.

“If you don’t like…”

“Shut up.”

She quickly caught him off when he spoke with a shaky voice. She dropped her gaze to the grey and blue bedding and picked up Snoopy from the small pillow.

“It’s perfect.”

The simple words coming from her made him beam and relax behind her. She took another 5 seconds before turning around to face him.

“Thank you. I love it.”

“Really?”

“Really, Norm… I gotta thank Andy too, right?”

“Yeah. And Alanna. She helped us putting everything at the right place and told me what we had to have.”

“You’re the best.”

She grabbed his hips and reached up to kiss him gently. He melted into her touch and felt how much he needed this right now. He needed her soft and gentle hands against his skin but the need to actually have sex with her tonight wasn’t there. And the amazing thing was that he could tell without her having to tell him, that she needed the same thing. She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her towards their bedroom. She stopped by the bed and turned back to him with eyes so full of affection for him, he felt his knees get weak. He would never get use to her looking at him like this. He had wished for her to love him like this for years and it still amazed him that he had been able to hang on and fight hard enough to get to this point.


	34. The Bahamas

November 19, 2016 was the final day of filming seasons 7 and although Norman had actually not been working for the past week, he had been on set until the very last minute. He had threatened to burn down the set for a few years now and although he really didn’t do that, he made a big pail of everything he could find outside the trailers on the last day. The last thing that landed on the big pail of old scripts, cloths and other props was one of the winged wests. When he held out a hand, Andy who was standing right behind him, gave him the matches. It was something extremely satisfying about seeing it all caught fire, almost cleansing. He handed the box to Jessie who lit one of the matches as well before tossing it into the just started fire. It was an emotional moment for everyone around but the worst part had already past for most of them and Jessie even managed to make a joke. 

“I suddenly got a craving for s’mors.”

He turned to her and burst out laughing, so damn thankful she was right there beside him at that moment. She made everything so much easier and so much more fun. The fact that Andy somehow produced a bag of marshmallows within seconds made the whole thing almost surreal. Jessie even doubled over in hysterical laughter and hugged the Englishman hard and even kissed him fully on the lips.

“We’ve been spending way too much time together, Andy.”

She said, still laughing as she grabbed the bag from him.

“Yeah, it’s getting a bit ridiculous, dude. My wife’s cravings are rubbing off of on you.”

Andy grinned at his best friend and hugged him tightly at the same time as Alanna called out that she found Oreos in Norman’s trailer.

“That’ll do, right?”

“Well, you gotta ask the pregnant lady. How does Oreo s’mores sound?”

Andy asked Jessie, who jumped right into her husband’s arms once Andy let him go. She kissed him hard and hugged her waist, leaning her head to his chest. He saw Norman lean down and whisper a quiet _I love you_ to her. And Andy felt alright again although he wouldn’t like anything more then let the fire spread and burn it all down. Norman was happy and it was because of the woman in his arms.   

“Pretty damn good! Giv’em here.”

“Andy told me you’re finally putting the thing up on Youtube tonight.”

Picnic chairs started to appear all around the fire and what had started as an act of simply trying to easy some of the resentment many of them felt, turned into a moment of laughter and chatter. Norman lifted his gaze and located Jeffrey on the other side of the low burning fire. Greg and Melissa on either side of him. He rolled his eyes at the older man and Jeffrey laughed.

“It’s going up tonight, rather you like it or not.”

Jessie said and kissed him quickly once more before moving over to Alanna and the Oreos.

“I would’ve loved to seen it live. I hear you even screamed.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jeff…! You would’ve screamed too, it was so fucking surreal. Do not turn her into a walker again, Greg, it was freaking the hell out of me.”

“No, I’m hiring her for next season, man.”

Greg teased and made the thumbs up to Jessie as they looked at each other.

“Fuck no!”

“Hell yeah!”

_Someone finally got Daryl Dixon on his ass!_

Greg had helped her and Andy do some adding to the video of them pranking Norman. She totally understood Norman’s reaction to seeing her as a Walker. She had scared herself when looking in the mirror. It was creepy seeing yourself dead and rotting away. She was resting in Norman’s lap under a thick blanket on that cold November night when she uploaded the video, all while Norman was glaring at her. She shared the link on her Instagram with the picture she had taken of him.  

“Come on, Norm. You started this with the fucking glitter.”

“Yeah, now it’s really a tie in the humiliation on a national scale.”

“Don’t worry, Greg I’ll come up with something real good, you just wait.”

“Oh I will.”

“When are you guys going back to New York?”

“Wednesday probably. We haven’t really decided yet. I’m still trying to convince this one to take a vacation.”

Jessie answered Alanna’s question and nudged Norman in the side with her elbow.

“You should really go, Norm. It would do you good to get away for a while.”

“Come on, Andy don’t get on her fucking side, I liked it better when you just hated each other. Don’t team up on me!”

“Don’t be such a pussy. She’s fine.”

“See? Thank you, Jeff. I’m fine.”

“You’re 28 weeks pregnant, Jessie. You shouldn’t be on a fucking plane.”

“Wow, you’re already 28 weeks? How the hell did that happen?”

Alanna asked.

“28 + 5 today, going into the third trimester”

Everyone around turned to look at him as Norman spoke. Even Jessie turned with slight surprise to him.

“I am?”

“Yeah, say’s so in my app. Really, J what would you do without me?”

“Go on vacation somewhere warm for starters.”

“Fine…! Where do you wanna go?”

“Bahamas. It just a 3-hour flight from New York… See? I can make compromises.”

“I’ll make a compromise for you.”

“How the hell did you end up in this conversation, Andrew?”

“Hey! Jess, if you don’t want people butting in, don’t start a conversation. I’m inviting myself and my wife to wherever you two comprise on ending up.”

“That’s not a fucking comprise, Andy, that’s intruding.”

“Yup…”

“We can go to the Bahamas if I can bring Andy.”

“You really think that would change my mind about wanting to go? Of course you can bring your boyfriend, baby.”

“Thank you.”

Norman gave Andy a high five, making Jessie shake her head with a huge smile on her face. It was like watching 2 kids planning a playdate and she loved them both for it.

                                            -----------------------------

He felt a calm he had lacked for months now, spread through his entire body. This was a good idea, he needed this. The ocean had always had a calming effect on him and this was perfect. The private beach allowed him to turn his head both left and right and not spot a single person besides the once he loved. They were quite alone and he could breathe easy. The tension and worry that had been filling him up since the beginning of the year simply washed away. Jessie was still with him and they were still crazy in love. He felt the same tingling sensation spread through his entire body now, as he had always done, when looking at her. She was floating on her back in the shallow, crystal blue, water, her rounded stomach sticking up and Norman chuckled quietly to himself. It looked like a beach ball floating around. He heard Andy stir beside him and he tilted his head to his right and found his friend looking right back at him.

“Slept well?”

The two men had spent the past 2 hours on extremely comfy sunbeds in the shade just talking and drinking. Andy had fallen asleep in the middle of a conversation.

“Sorry, man…”

“Na, don’t worry about it.”

Andy leaned up and reached for his beer. He made a face when the warm liquid ran down his throat.

“That’s fucking gross.”

“I think there’s some cold one’s up in the house.”

Andy placed a hand on his friend’s arm when he was about to get to his feet.

“I’ll get it. You stay.”

Norman nodded and sat back down. Their private villa was right at the beach and it took Andy less then a minute to walk through the open backdoors. Before collecting something to drink he made a detour to the bathroom and checked on his wife, who had excused herself to get some sleep. She was still asleep in the bedroom they had claimed as there’s.  

“Hey gorgeous!”

Jessie was in the kitchen when he returned and the alcohol in his system made him a lot more vocal and touchy then he usually was around her. Andy loved his wife above everything else in the world but seeing Jessie standing right there in front of him in a tiny bikini, her hair a wet mess around her face, did things to him. She was the type of woman that could get any man she wanted to his knees. Hell, he had been that man twice already. He knew he was staring but he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

“Andy, stop the eye-fucking right now.”

“Sorry… But damn, girl, I just gotta say… You’re one mighty fucking fine sight.”

She picked up the plat of fruit she had collected and walked up to him with a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. She placed a warm hand on his naked stomach and leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips.

“Behave, Andy your wife is here.”

“I don’t wanna…”

She chuckled.

“You talk to Gale first, Andy.”

He felt his eyes widen in disbelieve when she spoke to him, before turning her back on him and walked back down to the beach. He stood where she had left him for a long while, trying to get his brain to function normally again. It proved a lot harder then he would have thought. He didn’t even notice his wife walking up to him, until she actually put a hand on his back. Andy jumped by the touch and Gale giggled.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

“I love you.”

He blurred out and grabbed her into a tight embrace.

“I love you t…”

Before she had time to finish her sentence, Andy caught her off and let his words rush out in a hast before he changed his mind.

“I’ve fucked Jessie. Before… When… When she and Norm wasn’t… Well, then too but… We fucked twice and I…”

His wife’s hand landed on his mouth and his words got muffled. He stared at Gale and felt his jaw drop to the floor when she smiled back at him.

“Shut up… I know, Andy. Don’t strain yourself. I know you’ve fucked Jessie.”

“Ho…How? Did she tell you?”

“She didn’t have to. I just know.”

“How long have you known?”

“Well it depends, when’s the first time it happened?”

“I don’t know… 2012… Yeah, 2012, It was just sex, Gale please…”

“Hey? Do I look mad?”

He lifted his gaze from the floor and looked at her properly. She was as calm and collected as always and with the same loving eyes.

“It’s fine, Andy. I don’t care that you fucked Jessie. I get it. I really do get why you would want to. When was the second time?”

“London Comic Con this year.”

“Where?”

“In the shower.”

“Alone?”

“No, I’ve never been alone with her. Norman’s been there too and… And Sean the first time.”

“Holly shit…!”

Gale actually started to laugh and Andy’s confusion just grew. This was nowhere near what he had expected to hear from his wife when he confessed to cheating on her.

“You’re telling me, you had a gang bang with the MacManus brothers and Jessie? Holly shit, I would’ve payed big bucks to have seen that.”

“What the fuck, Gale? I’m just confession to cheating on you and you stand here laughing and… What the fuck?”

“Come on, Andy. We both know you didn’t cheat on me. You just fucked Jessie, your best friend’s girlfriend at the time. It doesn’t count.”

“It doesn’t?”

“No. You still love me, right?”

“Always will… So it’s fine?”

“Yes, Andy it’s fine. And it’s fine if you like to do it again. Just let me know.”

She kissed him quickly and allowed her fingers to dance lightly over his chest. She smiled when she felt him tense under her touch. She turned on her heal and followed the same path Jessie had taken minutes before, leaving Andy once again in the middle of the room his brain going into overdrive.

“Andy talked to you?”

“Aha.”

Gale joined the married couple on the beach and accepted a watermelon when Jessie handed her one. She looked at the woman and they both smirked.

“He’s coming, he just need to restart his brain.”

Behind Jessie, Norman lifted his head and looked at the two women with raised eyebrows, not following the conversation at all.

“What the hell are you two talking about?”

“Yeah, you might need to restart your brain too, Norman.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you’ve been sharing your girlfriend with my husband. More then once.”

Gale found it quite amusing to watch the man’s reaction to her words. Norman sat bolt upright and tried as Andy had to put words together into a sentence but failed. He was already sweaty and slightly red by the heat in the Bahamas sun but she could still see him blush as she tried to look at him.

“Norm?”

“I…I… I don’t…I’m s…”

”Sorry? You’re actually apologizing?”

“Yes… No? I don… No?”

She knew she was making the man feel even more miserable but she couldn’t help laughing as Norman shrink to a disobedient 10-year boy in front of her.

“It’s fine, Norman. Don’t worry about it. If there’s anyone that should apologize its Jessie and she already has so…”

“You told her?”

“No. Gale figured it out all by herself, I didn’t have to tell her.”

“When?”

“I knew it happened the first time I saw Jessie and Andy together again. Don’t ask me how, I just knew. I confronted Jessie about it six months ago when I got the feeling it had happened again.”

“You’re ok? You and Andy aren’t…? You’re fine?”

“Do you really think I would bring it up now? Here? Just because I wanted to yell at him and get a divorce? Come on, Norman it was just sex, right? She was yours already back then, none else’s and she’s never seen anyone else but you for as long as I’ve known you guys. I brought it up cause Andy’s flirting with you wife.”

“Bastard.”

The word that left Norman’s mouth was meant to sound angry but it didn’t fool either of the women beside him.

“Something tells me you’re really not that pissed or surprised though, Norm.”

“This conversation is getting weird… I’m gonna leave you two and try to restart my brain somewhere else if you don’t mind.”

“You do that.”

Once Norman was out of sight Gale turned and smirked hugely at Jessie. The older of the two rose a hand and they high fived each other on their brilliant plan.

“Now… Tell me very dirty detail about your tumble in bed with my husband and those Irish twins.”

                                            --------------------------------

Their plan to get their significant other into, what they both knew would be an extremely hot and pleasant experience for everyone involved, didn’t go quite as smoothly as they had thought. Norman and Andy seemed too confused to really grasp what the whole thing about letting them know that Gale had known all along and was actually ok with it, was about. They kept to themselves and even escaped the villa to play some tennis on their own during the afternoon. But they let them take their time and hopefully figure it out. Gale had been the one bringing it up when Andy had invited themselves to join Jessie and Norman for a few days’ vacation. She had texted Jessie with the suggestion and she had been onboard without hesitation.

It was already dark and they had just finished dinner, when the two friends came stumbling through the front door. It was obvious tennis hadn’t been the only thing on their agenda and although Jessie could tell Norman wasn’t really wasted, he was intoxicated and in a very good mood. She smiled to herself, knowing how easy it would be to convince him to follow through with their plans when he was in this mood. They had been sitting in the open living room on the couch, just chatting and admiring the view of the ocean when they came back. Jessie slowly put her glass on the table and winked at Gale. Both of them stopped in their tracks when they laid their eyes on the women.

“Hey!”

“Hi. How did it go? You win, babe?”

“Always. I’m gonna jump in the shower. You wanna join me?”

Norman winked at Jessie.

“Not tonight, babe. I’m having a very pleasant conversation with Gale right now. You think you can survive without me?”

“I’ll try.”

As Norman walked away, Andy headed for the fridge and collected a bottle of water before joining his wife on the couch. His hand came to rest on her thigh and he sunk down close to her but eyeing Jessie closely at the same time.

“Andy.”

“Jessie.”

The tension could be cut with a knife as they kept staring each other down. She made small movements on the couch that probably looked innocent but it was very deliberate. Crossing her legs and touched her own thigh lightly. Leaning forward slightly, exposing a little bit more cleavage and tying back her hair a loss knot. Andy watched every little move she made and cursed under his breath. No one could affect him like Gale but there was something about the woman on the other couch that set his blood on fire that night. He could probably blame it a little bit on the booze but he had always found Jessie attractive and this pregnancy had only made her sexier. It was probably the fact that he knew how much she loved sex and how open she was about it, that made him want her even more. Nothing scared her or made her nervous, she was up to anything. And now it seemed she really was up to getting up close and personal with his wife.

“I’d like to watch.”

Gale’s whisper in his ear made him tense and he felt himself start to tremble with nerves as his wife abounded her placed beside him and Jessie got to her feet at the same time. She walked slowly towards him without taking her eyes off of him. When she moved in between his legs, his hands landed on her hips and he squeezed tightly.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, Andy I’m sure… You won’t hurt me, I promise.”

She said as one hand pulled her tunic up and exposed her naked stomach. She knew she had to insure him just as she always insured Norman that sex wasn’t hurting her. They looked at each other for a full 10 seconds and to her deep satisfaction, she could tell he let his guard down completely and a confident smile filled his face and he tugged at her arm. She straddled his lap.

“Can I kiss you?”

He grabbed her jaw lightly and ran one finger along her lower lip. Jessie dropped her gaze to the man’s full lips and she really liked to just plant a wet one on those lips. She hesitated though but knew they had moved past that part a long time ago. Norman knew she belonged to him and kissing Andy wasn’t going to change that. She knew she would be kissing Gale as soon as the opportunity presented itself so she decided Andy shouldn’t be left out. She twisted her hands into his soft curls and attacked his mouth with hers with full force. Cloths were coming off while they kissed each other madly. His hands were all over her, touching and tugging to get her closer. She gasped in surprise as she suddenly found herself on her back. She wasn’t ready to play along just yet though and a silent struggle for dominance began.

“Jessie…No!”

He grabbed both her wrists and put them up over her head to stop her from trying to push him away. She glared at him but Andy simply grinned.

“Don’t be so fucking bossy.”

“Shut up and just enjoy, J.”

“No…!”

She moved quickly and managed to get the upper hand on him by grabbing his crotch at the same time as she wrestled him to his back. She heard Andy curse and moan all wrapped in one as her flick fingers moved inside his swimming trunks.

“Stay!”

She pushed him hard in the chest as he tried to raise from the couch. He bounced right back down and even if he had wanted to get up again, she made sure those plans quickly left his mind as she freed his erection from the last piece of clothing and swallowed him whole.

“Holly shit, Jess!”

She smiled to herself as she felt him surrender completely and she was in control. Her head moving fast and hard around him. Andy cursed and moaned her name over and over  and she slowed down after a while and took only the head of his dick into her mouth and allowed her tongue to dance over it. She got really wrapped up pleasing the man. She was therefore completely caught of guard when she felt a hand come down hard around her neck and she let out a yelp of pain and surprise as Norman pulled her up against his naked chest.  

“I’m feeling a bit left out.”

“Sorry…”

She got to her feet and grabbed him by the neck and kissed him hard. She could feel, rather then see, Gale take over blowing Andy and she got to focus entirely on Norman. He placed her on the armrest of the sofa and moved in between her legs. He tugged at her hair and she tilted her head back, exposing her neck to him. He bent quickly and nibbled on her soft skin.

“You really are the right kind of freak for me, babe.”

He whispered close to her ear and dropped one hand to her pussy. She threw her head back even more and shut her eyes closed. She had been in full control when it came to Andy but now she gave up without a second thought and allowed Norman to take control over her. She couldn’t really tell which roll she loved the most anymore. But as Norman let three fingers slip inside her with ease, she gave in to his touch and begged him not to stop.

“Look at me.”

His command was short and harsh and she lifted her head and snapped her eyes open to look at him. He smirked and grabbed her chin.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She panted and kissed him hard but not for long as he pulled away and nodded to the couple behind them. She turned her head too and moaned when she found Andy looking back at them. He had moved into a sitting position and Gale was on her knees in front of him.

“Scream, baby.”

He twisted his fingers inside her and graced her clit with his thumb at the same time. And she did scream. She cursed his name loud enough to make Gale lose concentration on what she was doing and looked up.

“Come here.”

He reached down and grabbed her by the ass and she wrapped her legs around him as he took a few steps back. She didn’t care what he was planning, she just hung on to him. It didn’t take long before he placed her on a bed but she wasn’t sure which one and she really didn’t give a fuck where they ended up as long as they were together. He flipped her over and pulled her to her knees in one swift and well-practiced move. She pushed herself up on all four and turned her head to look back at him over her shoulder. She was about to open her mouth to ask him to just fuck her already but at the same time Andy moved into bed with them and he grabbed her face and kissed her. Then Gale was there and she forgot all about Norman for a while. It was mostly curiosity that drove her to want to try this. She had been with Sean’s wife before but it felt like a lifetime ago. She loved the female body and Gale had the curves at just the right place, same as her. They moved at the same time and rose to their knees in front of each other in the middle of the bed. Soft hands to soft skin, touching, exploring everywhere with hands and lips. Jessie dropped one hand to her other woman’s sex and let Gale burry her face in her shoulder when she performed the same move Norman had practiced on her only minutes before. Behind them, Andy was sitting, watching every move with wide eyes, pleasing himself, and she knew without having to turn around that Norman was doing the same behind her.

“Shit, shit, shit, J…!”

She twisted around Jessie’s fingers and when Andy moved in behind his wife and dropped one hand to join Jessie’s, the older of the two couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Fuck!”

She exploded to their touch and Andy muffled her cries by kissing Gale hard. She moved away from Jessie and turned her full attention back to her husband. Jessie watched as Andy guided her down over his painfully looking cock. She let out a groan that got muffled by the louder moans coming from the couple setting a quick pace. She twisted around when she heard Norman move across the floor. When she locked eyes with him she gasped by the intense desire in his eyes. They launched for each other at the same time and began an insane make out session that ended with Norman pushing her down on her knees and showing himself inside her hard and fast. She knew seeing her with another woman would make him crazy but not like this. He was so on edge, so turned on, he didn’t last more then a minute but he still made sure she got something out of it as well.

“This was a fucking awesome idea.”

They were all laying in bed trying to catch their breath and the entire room smelled of sex and sweat, when Jessie found her voice and spoke. She turned first to look at Gale beside her and the woman grinned at her.

“Yeah…”

“I would’ve beat my money that this was your idea.”

Andy gathered some strength and lifted his head enough to able to look at Jessie on the side of his wife.

“No, this was Gale’s idea, I just said hell yeah!”

“Thank God…”

Norman roll half on top of her and kissed her passionate and placed a hand on her moving belly. The baby always seemed a lot more active after sex and she had a feeling it would keep her up for a long time tonight. But it was so fucking worth it and she would do it 100 times over…


	35. Birthday surprise

Norman woke with a jerk that almost knocked him out of bed on his birthday when his son came storming into the bedroom, screaming.

“Dad! Dad! Fuck, dad wake up!”

He tried to tangled himself out from the sheets and pillows and Mingus tried to help by tugging at the bedding as well, still yelling at him.

“What the fuck?! Is there a fire? Fuck, Mingus…!”

“Dad! Jessie’s contracting! You gotta move! Dad, come on! Move!”

He felt wide awake and he crawled on all fours out of bed and followed his son out of the bedroom. He tried to breath normally but the panic that rushed through him made him take shallow breaths that didn’t reach his brain. She shouldn’t go into labor now! There was still 4 weeks to go. He wasn’t ready.   

“What the hell are you yelling about?”

Jessie came walking out from Mingus’s bedroom with both hands resting on top of her belly. She looked no different then the night before as he rushed right up to her and grabbed her face to checked her over.

“Mingus said you were having contractions!”

He grabbed her and made her sit down on the couch and Mingus helped him guide her down. She tried to speak but when being nervous and worried he always spoke too much.

“What the hell, J? You should’ve woke me up! We need to go to the hospital! Now! I…!”

He was forced to cut off short and actually winced when she grabbed his mouth and pinched his lips tightly shut.

“Shut the hell up…! And you too!”

She snapped her fingers at Mingus as the younger opened his mouth to protest.

“I’m not going into labor. Holly shit…! Mingus, I didn’t actually say I was having contractions. I said I wished the real contractions could feel like the once I’m having right now. Are you two going to hoover over me like this until I’m due?”

“Yes!”

The word came from both of them at the same time loud and clear. She wiped her head around to both of them before letting out a roar of frustration and got to her feet.

“I’ll fucking move in with Helena for the rest of the month if you two don’t back the hell down! I’m fucking fine.”

“Really?”

Norman didn’t miss the seriousness in her words as she glared at him with her arms firmly crossed over her chest.

“Yes! I swear to all the damn God’s on the planet that I will tell you when I go into labor. I swear I will wake you up in the middle of the night if that’s when it happens. But please, don’t go fucking bananas just because I mention the word contraction. It’s stressing me the hell out!”

“Sorry…”

Mingus was the first to apologize but Norman wasn’t really ready to do the same just yet. He watched her closely, watching for any sign that she was either lying or in actual pain. He didn’t trust her one bit when it came to this. He knew she would try to play it down as much as she possible could. He squinted at her and she looked right back.

“What do you need me to do, Norman?”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die… Yes, I promise. I’m not having contractions.”

“I’m still going to make you go back to bed.”

“Come on!”

“I’ll fucking carry you if I have to, Jessie!”

“But we were going to make you breakfast…”

“I don’t care. Go back to bed.”

“Only if you come with me.”

“Fine.”  

He followed her back to the bedroom and made sure she was actually getting into bed before heading to the bathroom. He tried to be quick although he knew it was silly but he was so damn nervous and excited at the same time about her going into labor. He couldn’t wait to finally met whoever was inside her but being scared shitless all at once. To his relief and slight surprised she was actually still in bed when he got back.

“You’d tell me, right?”

“Yes, Norman I’d tell you. Grab my laptop, please.”

She balanced the computer on top of her bump and he got into bed by her feet, facing her and just sat there watching her. He knew it annoyed her but for the past weeks she had giving up telling him to stop. It wouldn’t help anyway. She kept typing for a few minutes and the annoyed expression on her face soon turned into amusement. He was wrapped up in his own thoughts and although he was aware of Jessie sitting in front of him, he failed to notice her putting the laptop away. He blinked and gasped in shock when he found himself on his back and she was on top of him.

“Happy birthday.”

She caressed the hair out of his face and leaned in to kiss him. The shock lingered for another second but it faded away rather quickly when she really put some force and passion behind the kiss. He responded with full force and allowed his hands to slide under her top and caress her naked back.

“Should I come back later?”

Without breaking the kiss, Norman glanced over at the doorway when Mingus spoke. His son was standing there with a breakfast tray in his hands. He managed to shake his head and held up one finger, asking him to just hold on a minute. He knew Mingus rolled his eyes at them but he did stay because when they both emerged a minute later his son had a huge grin on his face as Jessie giggled. She kissed him on the nose one final time before sitting back on her heels.

“Thank you.”

He said and followed his wife into a sitting position.

“Happy birthday, dad.”

“Thanks.”

The little family of 3 spent a good hour in bed, eating breakfast and simply talking and laughing. The birthday boy received a lot of phone calls from family and friends and even more texts but other then that it was a quiet and relaxed day for everyone involved. As darkness fell over New York they were all getting ready to go out for dinner. It really was the first time they had gone out together since blowing their cover almost 6 months earlier. She was really looking forwards to it and although Norman had said he was fine with takeout and a movie night she had managed to convince him that dinner with her and his son was a good idea. So they were going out and Jessie was in the bathroom getting her hair done. She could hear Norman and Mingus goofing around in the living room both of them trying to drown the other once singing. She cursed under her breath when her entire belly slowly became rock hard and a pain strong enough for her to gasp, shoot through her lower back. She had to grab hold of the sink and breathed through the pain like the midwife had taught her to do. Maria Anderson was the midwife they had allowed into the most private and most important part of their lives at the moment. She had been a constant visitor for the past months since they had gone back to New York. For the past week’s their focus had been on getting through the pain and she had walked out of the class with an A +. So that was why she pushed through the pain and went to get dressed.  But just in case, texted Maria that she was probably going into labor after all.

“How the hell did I end up so damn lucky? You looking gorgeous, woman.”

She twirled into the living room wearing a new black dress and black Converse. She had never liked heals and when being pregnant it had been down right impossible to wear them.

“Thank you. Can we please go now, I’m starving?”

“It’s you we’ve been waiting on, Jess.”

Jessie flipped Mingus off as he stood tapping his foot at the front door. Norman walked up to her and kissed her before helping her get her cot on.

_Maria: How close together are your contractions?_

_Jessie: About one every 10-15 minute_

_Maria: Manageable?_

_Jessie: Yes… Heading out for a birthday dinner_

_Maria: Don’t go too far though. It might get a lot harder to handle if you’re really going into labor_

_Jessie: Alright_

_Maria: I’m on call whenever you need me_

_Jessie: Thanks_

“Who’re you texting?”

Norman leaned in over her shoulder and peaked down on her phone. Quickly she put it away before he could read too much.

“No one…”

She wasn’t sure why she just didn’t tell him that she had experienced a lot more contractions then she usually had and that they had grown a lot stronger. She wanted him to enjoy his birthday without having to worry about her. She knew she was failing because she could feel him eyeing her even closer then usual. His hand lingered on the small of her back for a second longer when he opened the car door for her and helped her inside. She sighed to herself when the firm pressure eased the pain shooting through her as another contraction tore through her entire body.

“How are you, Jessie?”

Tim turned around from his place in the driver seat and looked at her. She really tried to find her voice to be able to answer the man but she must have taken a second too long because when she finally looked up all three men was looking at her.

“Sorry, what?”

“Are you alright?”

“Fine, Tim just tired. How are you?”

“Just great… Happy birthday Mr. Reedus.”

“Thank you.”

“Where to?”

Norman gave him the name of the restaurant they had made a reservation to and they headed out into New York traffic. Mingus and Tim started talking sports, something that never really caught his father’s interest but Norman was too occupied talking to Steven on the phone. It left her free to push through the waves of stabbing knifes in her back. They had been traveling for nearly 20 minutes, making it into the heart of Manhattan when she gave up. She abandoned all her pride and the act of always being the strong one.

“Tim…”

“Yes, Jess?”

“We need to go back home.”

Mingus twisted around in his seat and stared at her. She saw Tim watching her through the review mirror and he simply nodded.

“Alright…. Do I need to make it extra quick?”

“No, not really but maybe find a drive thru along the way please.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Dad!”

Mingus shouted out to his father when Norman still hadn’t caught on to the change of atmosphere in the car. Norman quickly finished his conversation.

“What…? Why are you turning around?”

“Ask your wife!”

Jessie fought the urge to laugh when she watched the completely disoriented expression on Norman’s face when he looked around the car and his gaze ended up on her at last. She didn’t even have to open her mouth to tell him, he understood anyway.

“Oh, you lying little bitch…!”

“Sorry…. But at least I’m telling you now.”

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you had contractions and how far apart are they?”

“They have been more consistent since after breakfast, now they’re like 8-10 minutes apart and beginning to fucking kill me… I’m sorry, I can’t…”

“Don’t apologize, idiot… It was Maria you were texting earlier, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. She’ll met us when we’re back.”

“But you still have 4 weeks to go. Is it safe…? I mean, is the baby ok?”

“It’s going to be fine, Mingus.”

Norman unbuckled and moved closer to her, placing a hand on her belly. It was rock hard and when she grabbed his other hand, she squeezed it harder then she ever had before. After making a quick pit stop at a McDonald’s, Tim maneuvered the crowded streets like a pro and had them back home in no time.

Maria wasn’t alone outside their door when they left the elevator. The midwife introduced her colleague as Sara and told them she was there because the baby was going to be a little premature and Sara was a nurse at the NICU unit at the closest hospital. They had made plans for this already and although no one had actually thought it would be necessary, she was very glad that they had. She had thought Norman was going to freak when the words premature came up but he at least on the surface he remained calm and simply greeted the woman and welcomed them both inside.

“How do you want to do this, Jessie? I’ll have to examine you but you could eat first if you want.”

“Yeah, I’m starving…Thank you, Tim. Go home and take a few days off, I’ll call you, ok?”

Jessie nodded to the man when he walked in after everyone and placed the many bags of food on the kitchen counter.

“Alright. Good luck.”

She got slightly surprised but moved all the same when the man bent down and placed a kiss on the side of her head.

“Thank you. What time is it?”

“Almost 8.”

“You might get to share your birthday with this kid.”

“That’s alright with me. Come on, I’ll help you out of that dress.”

He held out his hand to her and they left for the bedroom after Jessie told Maria and Sara to make themselves at home. She took a deep breath when the bedroom door closed and they were alone for a few minutes. He helped undress her in silence and she put on a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra.

“Are you alright?”

“I really should be the one asking that question, J.”

“But I’m asking you. Are you alright? Are you ready for this?”

“Not at all.”

“Good, me neither.”

Her voice got caught in her throat as a contraction began and she grabbed him for support. Her hands gripped his waist and she leaned her forehead against his chest.

“Where’s the pain worst?”

She managed to gesture to the small of her back and his hands quickly landed there and he massaged her through it all.

“Thank you.”

“Ok, first rule. Stop thanking me. This is what I’m here for, it’s the least I can do. Ok? Whatever you need, J just say the words. If you need to break my fingers to get through this, you can do that. If you need to scream, you scream. Alright? Don’t apologize.”

She looked up at him with an amused smile on her face. She was so thankful for the man in front of her, separated from her by nothing but her stomach, that she felt herself tear up. His hand was on her face and he kissed her gently.

“Alright?”

He asked again and she nodded her replay.

“Good. You want to eat?”

“Yes.”

Mingus was unpacking the food when they reentered the living room. The lights had been dimmed and the soft tunes of one of her playlists was playing, just the way she wanted it. The TV was on, on low volume and showed season 6 of Walking Dead.

“Your water hasn’t broken, right?”

“No. Are you ok, Mingus?”

Jessie walked over to Mingus and put a box of nuggets in front of her. She remained standing when starting to eat. It felt more natural to keep on her feet at the moment. 

“Yeah, just a little scared.”

“Me too.”

She confessed and put a hand on his face when he looked at her. He grabbed the hand and kissed the top of it before collecting his own food as well as his father’s and headed to the couch.

“You think she will actually deliver the baby today?”

Jessie listened with one ear to the conversation that was going on, on the couch between the two men and Maria.

“I’ll be able to answer that a little better when I’ve examined her but yes I’ve a feeling your wife is going to give you the best birthday present you could get.”

“You would make her go to the hospital if she really had to, right?”

“Of course, Mr. Reedus.”

“She can do this, can’t she?”

“Absolutely. She’s well prepared and so are you, you know that.”

“I know… I just wasn’t prepared for this _now._ ”

“Your baby is ready to meet the world, Mr. Reedus, it doesn’t care that it’s before the actual due date. Jacob was in a hurry to greet his parents too. It’s ok to be scared and nervous.”

“Yeah…”

She wasn’t sure how the hell he picked up on it or how he had the time to get there so damn fast but only a second after she felt the food she had just ate making its way up again, Norman was beside her with a bucket. She vomited straight into it and remained doubled over with her hands on her knees when the following contraction tore through her body. Norman was behind her and pushed down hard with his thumbs on her back, costing the curse that left her mouth to end in an appreciative moan.

“When you’re ready, I really want to check on you, Jessie. This is going really fast.”

Jessie pushed herself up to her fullest height and looked over the counter to Maria. She nodded once and headed for the sink to clean her mouth.

“Do you need anything?”

“A bath?”

She answered Mingus and he nodded and turned right away and headed towards the bathroom. Jessie grabbed her coke and followed the teenager. She hadn’t even made it to the doorway before yet another contraction hit.

“Holly fucking shit…!”

She shut her eyes closed and cursed so loudly she heard the cat sprinted out from his hiding place under the couch. She couldn’t talk anymore, it felt like she was going to break in two and all she could focus on was to keep breathing. Her spin was surly going to break at any second. She searched desperately for something to hold on to but she never had to search long. He was there to grab her and she knew she probably hurt him when she grabbed him around the neck but her legs were about to buckle under her.

“Would you rather stay right there and I can examine you? If it’s easier to stay standing.”

Maria waited until the contraction was over and Jessie loosened her grip on Norman. She kept her eyes closed however and simply breathed against his neck.

“Yeah…I’m sorry if I hurt…”

“You really suck at following rules, baby.”

She chuckled against his skin when she remembered what he had told her 10 minutes before.

“Sorry, forgot…I’m gonna try not to break your fingers though.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

She whimpered quietly when she felt Maria pull her pants down around her ankles and gently examined her internally.

“Sorry, Jessie you won’t have time to take that bath.”

“Why?”

Norman asked, watching the woman over his wife’s shoulder.

“You’re 7 cm dilated. May I suggest I prepare the bed right away while you try to just make it through this walking around…”

“Fuck!”

She didn’t even have time to catch her breath between contractions. Another hit, stronger then before and she wanted to scream but she couldn’t. She feared she would never stop if she started so she bit down on Norman’s collarbone and clung to his back. She could hear Norman call out to Mingus but what his words were, she couldn’t concentrate enough on.

She felt an overwhelming need for her mother and sister. When the physical pain subsided she pulled away from Norman and turned her back on him. The tears just spilled over without her being able to stop them and she started to sob so hard she had to grab the kitchen counter for support. Norman of course was just one step behind and when she leaned forward, he was there to massage her back. He didn’t say anything and she was thankful for it. She knew he knew why she was crying. Mingus was suddenly at the other side of the counter. She saw him through hazy eyes but she didn’t lift her head enough to meet his eyes. She reached out her hands and he grabbed them tightly.

“I want my mom…! And Jenny and dad and… I can’t…! I don’t wanna do this.... I don’t want to do this.”

She rested her head against the cold surface and heard the words that came out of her mouth although she wasn’t aware of speaking them.

“I’m right here, baby. Right here, Jessie.”

The familiar, soft voice in her ear was all it took to make her find her focus again. For maybe 5 minutes she simply stood and cried but it wasn’t the hysterical sobs anymore. It turned out to be quiet tears mixed with her deep breathing as she was forced to deal with another two contractions.

“I gotta push.”

Her head got crystal clear when the pain suddenly changed and a tremendous pressure deep inside her made her speak with such a steady voice she saw Mingus snap his head up and Norman’s hands stopped moving on her back. Maria and Sara was there but either of them forced themselves on her. It was so quiet and calm all around her despite her breakdown that she was once again forever thankful for their good preparation for this moment.

“Do you want to move?”

“Yes.”  

“Do you mind if I just check if you’re actually fully dilated first?”

Jessie shook her head at the midwife, who was so quick and gentle she barley registered what she was doing before she was actually done.

“You’re all good to go, honey… I’ll just break your wat… Never mind.”

She heard the midwife chuckle lightly when Jessie’s just undressed legs got soaked as her water broke and it trickled down onto the floor, leaving a small puddle.

“Can you make it to the bed?”

“It’s far…”

She had barley finished her sentence before she felt her legs vanish under her and Norman had her in his arms. He didn’t waste a second before heading straight for the bedroom.

“I love you.”

She said as he placed her in bed.

“I love you too. You’re doing so good, baby. You’re an incredible woman, you know that?”

He stroke the sweaty hair away from her face and leaned in to kiss her quickly. She didn’t want it to end though.

“Kiss me again.”

He smiled against her lips but did as she asked and the kiss got both long and passionate.

“I really gotta push. Could you just… Hold on to me?”

Her request was followed by Norman climbing into bed with her and he sat down behind her and pulled her as close as he possible could and took both her hands. She braided their fingers together tightly before searching the room for Maria. She was sitting on the edge of the bed by her feet while the nurse was on the side of the bed. Mingus was hoovering in the doorway but once she looked at him, he seemed to understand everything was alright and he moved inside the room as well and came to stand by the side of the bed, close to her and his father.

“Whenever you have a contraction, feel free to do what you feel you need to do, Jessie. Your body knows what to do, so just listen.”

The calm and confident words from the midwife made her take a deep breath and close her eyes. She could do this! She listened to Norman’s fast heartbeat and although their hands were both sweaty and slippery she hadn’t felt safer in her life. She could feel his tears making its way into her hair but she knew they were tears of joy. As the third contraction came and she pushed for all she was worth, Maria spoke calmly to her.

“Not so hard, hon. Gently. You’re almost there, I know it burs but try to be genital, Jessie. Slowly.”

She finally screamed but it wasn’t just because she felt like she was being torn open and burned at the stake, it was a cleansing scream that helped her let go of all the stress and psychological agony she had built up towards this moment. Then all the pain was all gone and her scream trailed off and was followed by another, yet unfamiliar scream. The first cry of a new little life that had found its way into this world. The crying child was right there, placed to her chest within seconds of its birth and she cradled the child under her chin. She could smell the blood mixed with the unmistakable smell of a newborn. The child was small but not by much compared to Jacob.

“Hi…”

Her voice was thick with tears as she spoke to the child in her arms. Her child. Behind her, Norman was crying as one trembling hand reached out to touch the little life for the first time.

“Told you it was a girl.”


	36. Melodi

She was finally here. And she actually was a girl. The most beautiful little thing he had ever seen with her round little head full of blond hair. He felt so overwhelmed with joy that the tears never seemed to end. Once he put his hand on her tiny one and she closed her fist around one finger he felt his heart melt and he knew he was going to love this perfect little creature until his dying day.

“I love you.”

Quietly whispering the words made it a little more real. He was on his feet with the baby wrapped in a blanket while Maria and Sara attended to Jessie when the words he knew would be said every day from now on, passed his lips for the first time. Mingus was bending close to Jessie, talking to her and holding her hand. He picked up his phone and called his mother with the news. He kept it short and low, not wanting to disturb the sleeping angle in his arms or his wife and son. As he ended the phone call with his sister, the time caught his attention. 9:17 pm. He was pretty sure they had gotten back to the apartment a little after 8:30. The whole thing had taken less than an hour.

“Mingus?”

The boy looked up at his father and when he quietly beckoned him, Mingus got to his feet.

“Do you want to hold her?”

Norman really didn’t wait for a replay and Mingus didn’t really hesitate. He simply put his arms out and carefully the baby girl changed arms.

“She’s so small… She’s beautiful.”

“She looks a lot like you.”

The teenager lifted his head and beamed at his father.

_You were right this time, it’s a baby sister_

Norman texted Helena the first picture of the two siblings and not even half a minute later, she called.

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks.”

“How’s Jessie? How’s the baby?”

“They’re both fine. It was very quick, I don’t think I’ve quiet caught on yet.”

“Go take care of your wife, Norman. I’m not going to keep you from them, I just wanted to say congratulations and if you need anything, just let me know.”

“Thank you. I think Mingus wants to stay the weekend if that’s…”

“Of course, Norman that’s fine. Whenever you feel you got the time, call me ok? But just go enjoy this moment right now. Take care of your wife.”

“I will, thank you, Helena… Mingus wants to talk to you.”

He handed the phone over to Mingus’s outstretched hand and the boy pressed it to his ear as he began talking to his mother. 

Once the baby was out of his arms, he turned his focus to the incredible woman lying in the bed. He had never imagined he would be able to love her any more then he already did. But when he kneeled by her head, he couldn’t even find words big enough to describe what he felt for her.

“There’s just a small tare, it’s going to heal fine on its own.”

He heard the midwife talking and he turned around to look at Maria.

“Is she ok?”

“Yes.”

He turned his attention back to Jessie when Maria started cleaning up the mess in the bed. She looked back at him and he thought she had never looked more beautiful. Still he couldn’t put it into words so he leaned in and kissed her.

“I love you doesn’t quite cut it anymore…”

“How’s that?”

“Cause I don’t just love you anymore. You’re fucking incredible, Jessie.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you. We’ve a daughter.”

Incredible enough, he felt himself tear up despite all the tears he had already cried, when she spoke and her entire face lit up in a gorgeous smile.

“We’ve a daughter.”

He replayed with what he was sure was an even bigger smile through the tears. She reached up and placed a hand on his face.

“Sara is going to check on your daughter, weight and length and just check that she’s doing alright. Then you’ll have some alone time, alright? We’re going to stick around until morning just to make sure you’re both doing ok and if you need any help. Is that alright?”

“Yes. Can I take a shower?”

“Not right now, honey. You need to stay where you are for a little while longer.”

“Ok. Thank you for this, Maria. Really, thank you. This was everything I ever wanted and so much more.”

“Of course, Jessie it’s what I do.”

Mingus came back into the bedroom, proudly carrying the baby who was softly crying, close to his chest and for some reason he had undressed his shirt.  

“She’s 5,3 lb. and 18 inches and she just peed all over me when I cleaned her so she’s got a diaper on but Sara said it was important with skin to skin for newborns, especially premature once.”

“There for the loos of cloths I guess?”

Mingus nodded towards Jessie when he approached the bed and she heaved herself up to a sitting position with the help of Norman.

“I think she might be hungry though.”

Carefully, as though he thought she might break at the slightest touch, Mingus handed over his little sister to her mother.

“Do you need anything?”

“Something to drink would be good. And maybe something to eat too actually.”

“Ok.”

“Thank you, Mingus.”

Jessie grabbed the teenagers hand and hugged it briefly before both he and Maria exited the room and closed the door behind them. She placed the baby between her legs and the child cried for only second while Jessie undressed the little she wore on her upper body and replaced the child against her naked skin. The girl quickly started to search for food and found it not long after. Once the child settled in and started to eat, Jessie’s fingers gently caressed the little head that was now free from blood.

Carefully and almost invincibly, Mingus came back in with food and drinks for all of them and quietly all of them sat eating for a while. Mingus excused himself after a short time though and they were alone again. Norman spoke with the first question that rose to his mind.

“Any ideas to what we’re going to call her?”

“Not really. You?”

“Melodi, with an i.”

Jessie tore her eyes away from the girl and looked at him when he spoke. She seemed to think it over and allowed her gaze to wander back to the child while stroking one finger over her back and arms.

“Melodi… I like that. Melodi Sam Reedus.”

“You’re sure you don’t want your mother and sister’s name?”

“Yes. They’re part of her anyway, just as Jacob is. He had just as much hair when he was born but it was darker.”

“I’m so proud of you, baby. So unbelievable proud, J you gotta know that.”

“Thank you.”

Both parents watched as their little girl finally seemed completely out after her first meal. Without words, Jessie gestured for him to lay down beside her and after stripping of his cloths, Norman found himself in bed with his daughter sleeping under his chin. Jessie crawled as close as she could as well to him and pulled the covers over all of them.

“I love you so fucking much, Mrs. Reedus.”

“I love you too.”

Jessie took their first family selfie with Norman’s phone and he watched with one eye as she texted the picture to Andy, Sean and Maya.

_She was in quite a hurry… 5,3 lb. 18 inches. We’re all doing great, going to try to catch some z’s now. Talk to you in the morning. Love you! Kisses_

They both knew how hard it would be for all of them to have to wait until the morning to call so both of them turned their phones off and was asleep within minutes.

                                            ------------------------------

Norman woke up by the same sight he had fallen sleep too; Jessie lying close by. For a second he panicked over the fact that the child wasn’t resting on his chest anymore.

“She’s with her big brother.”

Jessie spoke and calmed him down by placing a hand on his hip and traced her fingers over his back when he turned to face her.

“Is she ok?”

“Yes. Mingus is playing mother kangaroo at the moment. She slept until like 3 in the morning then ate some more and went back to sleep for another 2 hours before eating again and then Mingus came and took over so I could take a shower.”

“What time is it?”

“7:45. How are you?”

“Still haven’t caught on I think…She really isn’t in there anymore.”

He had to place his hand on her stomach just to make sure. She still had a bump but nowhere near as big as it had been the day before and it was as soft as before she got pregnant.

“No… I can’t think right now, what time is it in the UK? I want to call Andy and Gale but I can’t remember if it’s in the middle of the night there right now or actually afternoon.”

“They’re 5 hours before us.”

“So, it’s like 1 o’clock?”

“Yeah… But Sean’s 3 hours after so probably wait and call him. Can I go fresh up before we call everyone though?”

“Nope...”

Jessie fished up her phone and made the Skype call to Andy. He picked up within a second, making Jessie begin the video chat with a chuckle.  

“Hi...! Why is Norman hiding under a pillow?”

“Cause he woke up like 10 seconds ago.”

“How are you, baby girl? What the hell happened? Are you ok? Is she ok? Your daughter?”

At the mention of the word daughter, Norman felt his whole face lit up in a smile and he stuck his head back out from under the pillow.

“Morning.”

“Hi, Andy.”

“Tell me everything!”

“Everything.”

Gale got into frame as well all of a sudden and after saying their quick good morning to each other, Jessie launched into the story of how their little miracle came into this word. A story she had already told Maya earlier that morning and one she knew she would be retelling a hundred times over but never get tired of telling.

Norman had said he hadn’t really caught on yet and truth was she felt the same. When the baby girl had woken up with a soft cry in the middle of the night it took her a good few seconds to remember what the noise was. Once she located where the crying was coming from and all the memories rushed through her, it was easy though. It came so easy being a mother again and all her worrying had all been in vain. She knew she could do this once she held the child in her arms. She had loved the little thing from the first time she saw her on the ultrasound but now when she was finally here, there wasn’t words big enough to describe how much she loved the little girl. And she knew it was mostly because she was half Norman. She could see him so clearly in the baby’s feature’s. She seemed to have his high and prominent cheekbones and his nose. She was glad the baby had gotten her mother’s eyes though as well as her blond colored hair.  

They stayed wrapped up in their little bubble for the rest of the weekend, not even making it outside and barley bothering to get dressed. Norman and Mingus was walking around in onesies and didn’t even change when their first visitor showed up Sunday evening with an offer to bring takeout food. Jessie greeted Helena after putting on some more appropriate cloths then the rest of her family. For the first time since the two women got to know each other, they shared a tight embrace.

“How are you feeling? You look really great!”

“Thank you. I’m good, a lot better then I probably deserve. I’ve two amazing helpers.”

“Yeah they better be…!”

Helena walked into the apartment and placed the bags of food in the kitchen. Mingus who had been on the couch, jumped to his feet the moment his mother spoke and came to hug and kiss her before starting to set the table.

“Where’s she?”

“Dad’s changing her.”

Mingus spoke before Jessie had the chance to open her mouth and it made Helena giggle. Right on que, Norman called out from the bedroom about needing some help with a piece of clothing he couldn’t figure out.

“Excuse me.”

Norman was bending over the bed with a fussing little girl with a bodysuit in his hands. She could tell at once that he was getting stressed out.

“Do you need help?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m going to break her arms getting this thing on…”

“How did you take it off in the first place?”

“She didn't have any cloths on.”

“Oh... Right.”

Jessie turned and searched for a one-piece instead and handed it over to him.

“Is this suppose to be easier?”

“You don’t have to pull it over her head. Yes, it’s easier. She won’t break because you put cloths on her, baby.”

“She’s just so small…”

Simply having Jessie standing beside him, seemed to do the trick and he managed to get the baby girl dressed.

“Everything is too big.”

He had to roll both arms and legs up before picking the girl up. She stopped fussing at once as Norman kissed the little head and he snuggled her close.

“Shit…”

Jessie turned away from her little family when she felt tears starting to roll down her eyes. She wasn’t even sure why she was crying.

“Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know. I just love you.”

“I love you too. You ok?”

“Yeah.”

She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her lightly before they walked back out to the living room. The dinner table was all set and the second they saw each other, Helena made her way over to Norman quickly.

“Oh my God…! She’s tinny. Hi, baby girl.”

Without Helena having to ask, Norman placed his daughter in the woman’s arms.

“Does she have a name yet?”

“Melodi.”

She looked at the girl for a few second before looking back up at Norman and nodded.

“That’s actual perfect… You got to name this one too?”

“Yup.”

He said proudly as he took his seat at the table and Helena followed and since everyone seemed really hungry, they quickly helped themselves to the food Helena had brought.

“Have you caught on yet?”

“No…”

Jessie admitted and chuckled lightly.

“It must have been really quick.”

“45 minutes after we got inside that door.”

Norman spoke and nodded his head to the front door. Helena gaped at him and turned with even wider eyes to Jessie.

“45 minutes?”

“Yeah. She was in a hurry.”

“You don’t say…? Damn!”

“But she was having contractions the entire day, she just shut up about it.”

The angry glare Jessie received from Norman lasted for only a second before he winked and smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah… I just didn’t want to spoil his birthday.”

“Turs out to be the best birthday ever.”

“How much premature is she?”

“About 4 weeks.”

“She never needed to go to the hospital?”

“No. We had a nurse from the NICU here the first 24 hours but she has been doing great. Everything wok as it’s suppose to. She’s healthy and putting on weight.”

“She’s beautiful… Are you heading back to Georgia a lot sooner then?”

“Not right now.”

The words coming out of Jessie’s mouth seemed to surprise everyone around the table, including Norman and she felt him looking at her in confusion. She reached out a hand under the table and took his.

“I want to stay a little while longer. Just until she gets a little bigger and we know everything’s alright.”

“What’s a little while?”

Mingus asked.

“A month or two at least.”

“Really?”

Mingus face lit up in a huge smile and he even got up and quickly hugged Jessie hard with an ‘I love you’ in her ear, before returning to his chair, leaving Jessie slightly out of breath and shocked.

“Well, you’d take very good care of her already.”

The teenager beamed at her when she spoke from across the table.

“I try…”

“You’ve been great, Mingus, thank you.”

“I said I’d help.”

“I know. I’m just glad you didn’t ran out the door when I screamed my lungs out.”

“It wasn’t that bad. I probably never really caught on either. It was so quick. I still can’t believe you got through that entire day without saying a word.”

“You never were good with words.”

Helena pointed out with a hint of a smile in the words and looked at Jessie. She smiled back and nodded her head agreeing.

“Are you telling the world?”

“Soon enough.”

“Don’t rush it. Stay lucked up here in your own little bubble for a while. Cause you’re taking some time off, right?”

The last words coming from Helena was almost demanding as she pinned down the new father and Norman actually chuckled a little when he remembered all those times she would be fighting with him a million years ago, and he would cower under those eyes.

“Yes… Trust me, I ain’t doing shit for the rest of the month. I’ve canceled everything.”

“I’m going to make sure you stick to that.”

“Good, cause she won’t.”

Norman pointed his fork at his wife, who rolled her eyes back at him.

“Why’s that?”

“Cause she’ll get sick of me after the first week and want to kick me out.”

“That’s not true!”

Jessie protested.

“Oh really? Wanna beat?”

“I’ve managed to live with you for more then 6 months straight down in Georgia.”

“Yeah, but then I wasn’t home 24/7.”

“You can always come home to us when you feel the need to escape, Jessie. I know it can get a bit… intense living with him.”

“Hey! Don’t you two team up on me too!”

Norman protested when the two women shared an understanding look between the two of them and his son burst out laughing.

                                            -------------------------------

_January 9 th 2017 The Huffington Post _

_Speculations began this weekend regarding America’s favorite newlywed’s and parents to be, Norman and Jessie Reedus, whether there might be a snake in paradise or not. The Walking Dead star turned 48 this Friday and was heading out for a date night with his wife and son but returned home after only 20 minutes. Rumor has it Jessie wasn’t feeling well and that there might be something going on with the baby. The couple is due to be parents within a month and we all hope all is well with the mother to be and her baby. All hospitals and delivery wards around New York we’ve talked to has refused to comment on the condition and whereabouts of Mrs. Reedus. The couple hasn’t been seen out and about since Friday night and we’re all starting to wonder what’s going on in the Reedus household._

Jessie really didn’t have anything else to do at night then being stuck on the couch with her phone and the TV as the baby girl couldn’t seem to eat enough when darkness fell. She remembered it had been the same with Jacob so she wasn’t really surprised and Maria had explained that most infants needed a lot more intimacy at night and that it wasn’t all about actually eating. Monday night she found the article from Huffington Post and alerted Norman in the kitchen. He was making popcorn, singing to himself, apparently in his own little world. She had to call his name twice before he snapped his head up and looked at her.

“What? You say something?”

“I think it’s soon enough now.”

He looked confused and she giggled at he stared for a soiled 10 seconds at her before the ball dropped.

“Oh…Really?”

“Yeah. Huffington Post just posted an article about it and there’s a lot more all over the internet about what’s going on.”

“Ok. Yeah, sure.”

He remained in the kitchen while the popcorn finished and he grabbed his phone and stared to work on his first Instagram post for 2017. He found a picture that Mingus had taken the very first morning of the three of them in bed. It was a close-up picture with the newborn girl wide awake between her parents. He had to force himself to stop staring at the girl. His daughter. Her eyes looked just liked her mother’s and just like he had drowned in Jessie’s from the very first time he laid his eyes on her, he drowned in Melodi’s. He lifted his head from the phone for a second and watched his wife and daughter without them noticing. Or Jessie probably knew that he was watching them, she always did, but she allowed him to simply watch them without looking back at him or saying anything. How incredible lucky he was and how incredible thankful he was for the woman sitting on couch. They had been through hell and back again over the years but now it was all worth it. Every tear, every scar, every bruise and every time he had gotten his heart broken had led up to this moment. And it was perfect. And it was something he was going to share with his 5 million followers on Instagram.

_This’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano ♥ January 6 th 2017 ♥ Melodi Sam Reedus ♥ 18 inches. 5,3 lb. ♥_

**The end!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. i realiize it was kind of a drag at the end but now i finally found an ok ending to this story. thanks for all the kudos <3


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